opinion: the more spines a fork has the better

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vanisher

I just don't care for a fork with a low spine count. Those big two spine ones you use for bbq? NO THANKS. Can barely grab the meat and they make huge holes. Three spiney table forks??? Zero interest. Try eating a salad with that disaster of a fork. Gotta be four or more.

# ? Aug 23, 2019 07:00

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 00:55

vanisher

Just try and hand me a three spine fork at a restaurant, i'll send it STRAIGHT back to the chef. Yeah, I know he can't control the utensil choices but its just what you do when you don't like something in a restaurant.

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Aug 23, 2019 07:01

WetNightmare: by sebmojo

pls BYOB for the sake of his very sanity do not mention chopsticks to vanisher

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Aug 23, 2019 07:59

Escape From Noise

WetNightmare posted:

pls BYOB for the sake of his very sanity do not mention chopsticks to vanisher

If you use chopsticks to skewer you get sent straight to Buddhist Hell. Zero exceptions.

# ? Aug 23, 2019 08:01

Addamere: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

hail to ye lordeship i haft retourneyed from yon forest hither and forthwitte to thee haft with mine hands brung ye forth thine forke as ye order, heretoupon skewered lay ten and half-twelve spinese of thy brush fowles, they being therefrom yon boughes and limbers slayed by horripilation under mine hands under yore gracious blessings

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Aug 23, 2019 08:08

Escape From Noise

OP, what are your feelings on shish kebab?

# ? Aug 23, 2019 08:16

Escape From Noise

Pssssssst! Hey, everyone! I found a fork that'd break the OP's friggin mind!

https://www.saveur.com/resizer/y1T--dfQIuysYNpkD0rKmtzARr0=/984x738/arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-bonnier.s3.amazonaws.com/public/DLH6DTYL7F5IOTL6UIHTTEB3FA.jpg

Edit: I found the fork for YOU, OP!
https://www.saveur.com/resizer/ygO1...Y73JBPDZDAU.jpg

Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 08:34 on Aug 23, 2019

# ? Aug 23, 2019 08:30

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Bring me. .. the SPINELESS FORK! *crowd gasps*

# ? Aug 23, 2019 09:17

Zarin: I SEE YOU

If you think about it, a knife is just a fork with a single tine.

What I'm trying to say is that you should expand your tine horizons, and appreciate and relish each tine that you are provided.

In your spare time in your garage, of course, feel free to create a 12-tined fork or whatever because why not?

Fake Edit: Use an 11-tined fork in respect for the events of 2001

# ? Aug 23, 2019 10:05

nut

Zarin posted:

If you think about it, a knife is just a fork with a single tine.

What I'm trying to say is that you should expand your tine horizons, and appreciate and relish each tine that you are provided.

In your spare time in your garage, of course, feel free to create a 12-tined fork or whatever because why not?

Fake Edit: Use an 11-tined fork in respect for the events of 2001

me: lord vanisher requests the 5 tined fork

me but as a kitchen staff: *opens the cutlery drawer and there are only knives left* o-oh god, i knew this day would come *turns to other me* we've run out of tine

nut fucked around with this message at 11:21 on Aug 23, 2019

# ? Aug 23, 2019 11:14

Escape From Noise

bee eater posted:

me: lord vanisher requests the 5 tined fork

me but as a kitchen staff: *opens the cutlery drawer and there are only knives left* o-oh god, i knew this day would come *turns to other me* we've run out of tine

Run to the blacksmith! Bind these five knives...as one!

# ? Aug 23, 2019 11:44

Goons Are Gifts

It's actually the general size and length, not the number of spines.

source: this woman riding a cock:

# ? Aug 23, 2019 11:50

nut

all the other kids at the table: *sculpting castles out of mashed potatoes*

vanisher: *making crop circles*

# ? Aug 23, 2019 11:51

google THIS

(ties a comb to a stick) Now I am unstoppable.

# ? Aug 23, 2019 12:27

Heather Papps: hello friend

google THIS posted:

(ties a comb to a stick) Now I am unstoppable.

we are going to have a fight because i glued a hair brush to a stick.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 23, 2019 12:33

Finger Prince

Pictured: the fork vanisher uses for posting

# ? Aug 23, 2019 14:38

nut

Finger Prince posted:

Pictured: the fork vanisher uses for posting

';lkjhgfdspoiuytrewq';lkjhgfds

# ? Aug 23, 2019 15:42

Escape From Noise

Finger Prince posted:

Pictured: the fork vanisher uses for posting

The widemouth slam

# ? Aug 23, 2019 16:00

Heather Papps: hello friend

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

The widemouth slam

texan spaghetti twirler

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 23, 2019 16:02

Macnult

google THIS posted:

(ties a comb to a stick) Now I am unstoppable.

# ? Aug 23, 2019 16:50

Escape From Noise

Have you considered making an eating morningstar?

# ? Aug 23, 2019 16:55

vanisher

forks from best to worst

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Aug 23, 2019 19:28

vanisher

Finger Prince posted:

Pictured: the fork vanisher uses for posting

some of the most graceful creatures on this planet eat hay from a fork like this

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Aug 23, 2019 19:39

nut

kicked out of home hardware for daydreaming about giant me in the rake section agin

# ? Aug 23, 2019 19:40

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

i carefully lock my bedroom door, loosen my belt and open my latest issue of forks international...

*whispering to myself* "yeah... yeah thats right.... look at that bad boy right there..."

# ? Aug 23, 2019 20:49

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

How many for a spork though, and so the 2 side ones that are part of the spoon count as spines.

I think 3 + the sides on a spork

# ? Aug 23, 2019 22:42

Heather Papps: hello friend

pixaal posted:

How many for a spork though, and so the 2 side ones that are part of the spoon count as spines.

I think 3 + the sides on a spork

so 5 tines?

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 23, 2019 22:43

vanisher

The handle of the fork does not count as a spine

# ? Aug 23, 2019 23:01

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

vanisher posted:

The handle of the fork does not count as a spine

NO! gently caress YOU DAD!!!

# ? Aug 23, 2019 23:03

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

# ? Aug 23, 2019 23:19

Heather Papps: hello friend

i tried using a salad fork once but my dad beat the poo poo out of me

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 23, 2019 23:22

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

perfection :colbert:

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Aug 24, 2019 00:01

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

no wait nearly perfect, it could use one more

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Aug 24, 2019 00:02

Heather Papps: hello friend

pixaal posted:

perfection

nneeds a can opener on the butt

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 24, 2019 00:03

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Heather Papps posted:

nneeds a can opener on the butt

don't we all, friend, don't we all

# ? Aug 24, 2019 00:14

lost my old email

bee eater posted:

me: lord vanisher requests the 5 tined fork

me but as a kitchen staff: *opens the cutlery drawer and there are only knives left* o-oh god, i knew this day would come *turns to other me* we've run out of tine

this post is extremely underrated

_{_{_{_{_{_{woooooo tiny shout out to deaf sex woooooooo it is spooky and i should have slept more posting up a storm this night wooooooooooooo i say. tiny shout out to mocking quantum also that guy rules. whoooooooooooo}}}}}}

# ? Aug 24, 2019 00:30

vanisher

Heather Papps posted:

nneeds a can opener on the butt

Ah yes, the butt of the fork. I like em big and round.

# ? Aug 24, 2019 01:53

vanisher

Big round butt with lots of spines

# ? Aug 24, 2019 01:54

Manifisto

back in the day before all this politically correct "green" crap we would, every night before dinner, go out forcupine hunting. we'd each spear a nice fat forcupine and use its thousands of pointy quills to manipulate our food. the day they replaced the noble forcupine with a lame-rear end manufactured "fork" is the day humanity began its decline into effete garbage.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Aug 24, 2019 02:56

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 00:55

nut

vanisher posted:

Big round butt with lots of spines

him: hey girl what that butt do

her: *stabs 5-6 peas at once with her butt*

him: oh yes

# ? Aug 24, 2019 03:20

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > opinion: the more spines a fork has the better

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