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Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Red Letter Media's prediction of a time travel story to retcon The Last Jedi makes an insane ammount of sense (timestamped):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzeOrA2in1c&t=1145s

At this point I fully believe this is happening and it explains all the throwbacks in the trailers.

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Saint Drogo
Dec 26, 2011

Xaris posted:

i believe i know what hes talking about, iirc i remember around early 00s that lucas was saying he wanted to mirror the original trilogy except for a new generation of KIDS! which is why it's for children instead of adult-oriented for fans

now whether that was executed is a different story, but that was lucas's intent
Lucas has a history of bullshitting about his intent tbf.

Palpek posted:

But seriously how dumb is the folding Darth Maul lightsaber that they gave to Rey, loving lol. And they put that part at the end of the trailer like it's the coolest poo poo.
well, when you've added a whole lovely dream sequence to your film just for trailer shots, you have to use em.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
If they put a time travel plot into a Star Wars there truly is no hope for the franchise.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug
They built a new theme park based on their lovely sequels, are the suits really gonna let them retcon it all? They're probably hard at work as we speak turning it into another Frankenstein of a movie.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
Obi and Qui coming out of the conference room surrounded by smoke rhymes with the Stormtroopers coming out of a blast door onto the rebel ship surrounded by smoke.

Sneaking into the palace after they return to Naboo rhymes with sneaking onto the Death Star.

Obi and Qui sending everyone away so they fight a Sith rhymes with Obi sending everyone away so they fight a Sith.

Skywalker exploding a big space station rhymes with Skywalker exploding a big space station.




My fantheory is that the prequels are the exact same movies but without any good writing or acting.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


TLJ still happened, the rides can stay. The sequel will just go back in time to change it. It won't be a retcon in the sense that it never happened.

olives black
Nov 24, 2017


LENIN.
STILL.
WON'T.
FUCK.
ME.

Palpek posted:

Red Letter Media's prediction of a time travel story to retcon The Last Jedi makes an insane ammount of sense (timestamped):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzeOrA2in1c&t=1145s

At this point I fully believe this is happening and it explains all the throwbacks in the trailers.

In the (unlikely, I think) event that they're wrong it's still going to blow chunks. I have no hope for this stupid franchise after 8.

Usually I let friends and family drag me to Star Wars and Marvel poo poo but I'm putting my loving foot down this year.

Whiskey_Dick
Feb 10, 2009

Who What Now posted:





My fantheory is that the prequels are the exact same movies but without any good writing or acting.

They definitely aren't. The prequels lack the beats of the hero's journey and lack the homage/borrowing from Kurosawa's "The Hidden Fortress". The buck rogers stuff is still kinda there though.

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

How Doers get more done
Fun Shoe

Chomp8645 posted:

there truly is no hope for the franchise.

let me fix that for you

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


olives black posted:

In the (unlikely, I think) event that they're wrong it's still going to blow chunks. I have no hope for this stupid franchise after 8.

Usually I let friends and family drag me to Star Wars and Marvel poo poo but I'm putting my loving foot down this year.
I'm not saying that it's a good idea, it's poo poo but it makes a lot of sense with different details in the trailers.

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

How Doers get more done
Fun Shoe
the Mandalorian trailer looked kinda alright though

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

Palpek posted:

TLJ still happened, the rides can stay. The sequel will just go back in time to change it. It won't be a retcon in the sense that it never happened.

This is so wild and stupid that I have a hard time believing even Disney would attempt it.

But I've said that before!

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Kazak posted:

They're going to make Rey a relative of Luke. Search your heart, you know it to be true

Was there ever any doubt that she's supposed to be his daughter?
I mean from the minute you hear that "oh she's abandoned" with no family ties it just seemed obvious to me.
Her getting a little emotionally tied up to Kylo sort of reflects the weird Luke/Leia thing, too.

She's abandoned because her dad is an antisocial space wizard who is just so sick of all these star Wars (that he was a key part of continuing) who left her to go milk some walrus people at an abandoned temple planet because life was just too hard out there for a goddamn Jedi knight, of all people.

Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Aug 29, 2019

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?
Rey and Kylo are gonna bone down

Like I could see the “She’s Luke’s daughter/clone” thing after TFA, but now?

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I'd be ok with her turning to the dark side and effectively ending the resistance immediately and the movie just ending like 'welp' as the force ghost of Yoda looks on, weeping.


Also han shows up as a force ghost too but doesn't realize he's visible and is just laughing and shooting the poo poo with another spirit that we can't see so it's just a one sided conversation of him telling a dirty joke or something as Yoda stands next to him crying

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.

bib fortuna

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Weak minded fool

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?

ikanreed posted:

Weak minded fool

I vil tak u to Jaba now

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012

Who What Now posted:

Obi and Qui coming out of the conference room surrounded by smoke rhymes with the Stormtroopers coming out of a blast door onto the rebel ship surrounded by smoke.

Sneaking into the palace after they return to Naboo rhymes with sneaking onto the Death Star.

Obi and Qui sending everyone away so they fight a Sith rhymes with Obi sending everyone away so they fight a Sith.

Skywalker exploding a big space station rhymes with Skywalker exploding a big space station.




My fantheory is that the prequels are the exact same movies but without any good writing or acting.

These are all just visual references, they occur in very different contexts from one another. That RLM video makes a good point: George Lucas didn't understand why his creation worked.

And like others have said, it took a squad of people to keep a new hope from falling prey to the failures of the prequels.

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

How Doers get more done
Fun Shoe

skasion posted:

I vil tak u to Jaba now

De Wanna Wanga

Bold Robot
Jan 6, 2009

Be brave.



Rey is gonna be a clone of the emperor, and there will be a bunch of clones of the emperor running around.

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004

Fun Shoe
Watch out Chewbacca, it's Rey's evil twin sister Yer!

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?
Reey

Whiskey_Dick
Feb 10, 2009

Bold Robot posted:

Rey is gonna be a clone of the emperor, and there will be a bunch of clones of the emperor running around.

That would be great. They could have a big fight to determine which one of them is the senate

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug
Her vision in the evil hole indicates there are dozens of Rey clones, all trapped in that hole.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Bold Robot posted:

Rey is gonna be a clone of the emperor, and there will be a bunch of clones of the emperor running around.

It's this and there's dozens of them and they all cackle impishly while randomly firing quick bursts of force lightning.
They're not actually hurting anything but several characters stare on in exasperation as the chaos unfolds...
*Loud end title music blares*

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
Star Wars: falling down the Rey hole

macdonal hamborkles
Mar 29, 2010

Twerk it good!
A long time ago, in a thread far far repeated

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Or maybe all of them are freakishly obsessed with zapping C3PO over and over.
Not actually hurting him, just constantly buzzing him and it's just him and hundreds of them, alone on a star destroyer drifting aimlessly

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

macdonal hamborkles posted:

A long time ago, in a thread far far repeated

Neat contribution.

Genesplicer
Oct 19, 2002

I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus!

Total Clam

Resting Lich Face posted:

2 and 3 are better in context with other parts of canon, namely The Clone Wars. They're still not great though, but I still enjoy them because what the hell, I just love me some Star Wars.

I think that the average SW fan was so excited to have a new film after 15 years of waiting that we were willing to forgive a lot. It was only upon reflection that we realized Episode 1 didn't really hold up. At all.

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.

lobot

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Bib Fortuna, Lobot and Admiral Piett walk into a bar.

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012

It's weird, based on the trailer I'm a little excited to watch the mandalorian and I hope it's good. This could also be the third time in my life I've been disappointed by a new star wars

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?
Have no idea what to expect from Mandalorian honestly. It’s being marketed as like a hard bitten space western but it’s directed by a guy mostly known for farce.

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

skasion posted:

Have no idea what to expect from Mandalorian honestly. It’s being marketed as like a hard bitten space western but it’s directed by a guy mostly known for farce.

Mangos

olives black
Nov 24, 2017


LENIN.
STILL.
WON'T.
FUCK.
ME.

skasion posted:

Have no idea what to expect from Mandalorian honestly. It’s being marketed as like a hard bitten space western but it’s directed by a guy mostly known for farce.

The only movies that have a chance in hell of being any good are the one-offs like Rogue One. The main thread has too much baggage.

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

How Doers get more done
Fun Shoe

Palpek posted:

Bib Fortuna, Lobot and Admiral Piett walk into a bar.

Bartenders? We don't need their scum

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Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

Thanks I already hate it.

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