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You should buy them some star citizen ships, op
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Sep 20, 2019 09:15
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my actual suggestion is some kind of lethal martial arts that you can only master if you start training while still in utero
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Sep 21, 2019 01:56
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fauna posted:my actual suggestion is some kind of lethal martial arts that you can only master if you start training while still in utero In-utero-fu, fucker will be able to go ham on some coat-hangers later in life. I feel dirty now. Earlier, too.
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Sep 21, 2019 02:33
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mystes posted:Apprentice your son to a pirate so he can be prepared for life after the sea levels rise. Just make sure he isn't born on a leap day. Bah! The Royal Navy bases promotions on seniority, so signing him up as a cabin boy when he's born will make him able to take his lieutenancy tests at seven or eight.
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Sep 23, 2019 15:17
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Make sure he's enrolled in the Social Security program
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Sep 25, 2019 05:43
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Stinky_Pete posted:Make sure he's enrolled in the Social Security program Nooooo it's a scam to get you to pay taxes! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tax_Reform_Act_of_1986#Fraudulent_dependents
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Sep 25, 2019 06:00
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Oh yeah, make sure you get him an SSN, I've run into a few cases where parents delayed getting an SSN for a few years and then got screwed out of the EITC.
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Sep 25, 2019 15:10
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sullat posted:Oh yeah, make sure you get him an SSN, I've run into a few cases where parents delayed getting an SSN for a few years and then got screwed out of the EITC. Most hospitals will ask you if you want the paperwork summited for SSN when they do the birth certificate stuff. The hospital I work at does it automatically, unless you opt out of branding your child with the mark of the beast.
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Sep 28, 2019 03:13
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uli2000 posted:unless you opt out of branding your child with the mark of the beast. Do people who aren't Sovereign Citizens actually do this?
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Sep 28, 2019 05:40
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Yeah, there's a whole host of people that do it for religious reasons (e.g., the Amish). The cases that I saw, they hadn't picked the kid's name yet for religious reasons and then never got around to sending in the SSN request until a few years later. But they got screwed over by the PATH act, which, in addition to protecting americans against tax hikes, also disallowed claiming the EITC for kids before they get an SSN.
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Sep 28, 2019 05:56
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I didn't have a SSN until my senior year of high school.
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Sep 30, 2019 21:02
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Chamale posted:You could create an email account and send him emails and photos, then give him the login info when he turns 18. We're doing for our kid - shared the email with family and friends, and they send him stories and photos.
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Oct 6, 2019 11:21
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We signed our kid up for a United membership number as soon as he was old enough to have his own ticket, because in my line of work we do multiple transatlantic trips as a family per year. I'm trying to build up his lifetime miles amount so that it's easier for him to get lifetime status earlier in his life. Yes, this is the whitest thing I've ever written. Also - my mom did a cool thing for me, starting from the year I was born she bought an annual Christmas ornament from a given sterling silver collectible series. She gave them all to me when I got married, and now I have like 35+ cool Christmas ornaments for our family tree. I'm doing glass bells for my son.
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Oct 6, 2019 11:25
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the_chavi posted:Also - my mom did a cool thing for me, starting from the year I was born she bought an annual Christmas ornament from a given sterling silver collectible series. She gave them all to me when I got married, and now I have like 35+ cool Christmas ornaments for our family tree. I'm doing glass bells for my son. My mom did this, but they were random ornaments so now I have a bunch of really cool ornaments
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Oct 6, 2019 14:16
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Forums account. Wouldn't want him teased for having a new regdate.
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Oct 7, 2019 02:54
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Socialist Rifle Association lifetime membership. Make sure your kid is a comrade.
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Oct 8, 2019 21:07
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Green Bay Packers Season Tickets. The current wait time is about 30 years.
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Oct 8, 2019 21:20
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Ebeneezer Splooge posted:College fund might be a good idea. lol, no. Just throw stacks of cash into a fireplace, same ROI. Register their name as a .com if you can get it, they might find it useful later (email, hobby site, resumes, etc.). As for Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, etc. — no way. Let them make that mistake themselves when they're older.
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Oct 10, 2019 01:09
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Lossy Compression posted:lol, no. Just throw stacks of cash into a fireplace, same ROI. IMO college isn't just about ROI
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Oct 10, 2019 02:34
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Waltzing Along posted:
sorry to threadjack but i've got a profoundly cute lil poopsmith and already have some killer video of him giggling, smiling, and then ripping TREMENDOUS rear end. how do i sell viral videos for all the infinity money? how do i do this thing you're suggesting.
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Oct 10, 2019 07:25
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diadem posted:We plan on buying wine now that will be aged perfectly once he turns 21. My parents did this. They bought a case each of Mouton Rothschild, Silver Oak, and Montelena. I'm glad they did, but it almost certainly cost a lot of money, even back in the 80s. You need to do your research (you have time for this, 2019 vintage wine worth storing won't be out for years) and be prepared to spend money. Some years are good in some and other elsewhere, so you need to focus on both region and vintage. Any wine that will benefit from 21 years in a cellar isn't going to be cheap. Also, consider storage, you can't just keep it in your kitchen. Stinky_Pete posted:Make sure he's enrolled in the Social Security program
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Oct 11, 2019 07:44
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nm posted:That's how they tread on you. But what if that's his fetish?
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Oct 11, 2019 14:05
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Skip the wine and just pay a third world nation to give your kid a diplomatic passport. Then he can steal his own wine. Immunity!
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Oct 11, 2019 22:44
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Go with a safe room because you're all obviously up against the wall when the glorious socialist revolution comes. 
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Oct 12, 2019 01:54
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Slimy Hog posted:IMO college isn't just about ROI You're right, ROI was a bad choice of word. Whether the parents pay or the kid pays, college does have some benefits, including the knowledge gained and some social growth, but IMO the cost of these things has soared comically beyond what they're worth.
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Oct 13, 2019 03:54
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diadem posted:What we've got so far: Then thread started off strong, and they you and your wife became instantly insufferable by your second post.
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Oct 13, 2019 04:38
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Nihilism
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Oct 13, 2019 11:45
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Lossy Compression posted:Register their name as a .com if you can get it, they might find it useful later (email, hobby site, resumes, etc.). Wrong way round. Register a .com and then name the kid accordingly
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Oct 13, 2019 12:30
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KillHour posted:Go with a safe room because you're all obviously up against the wall when the glorious socialist revolution comes. Hell yeah killing kids
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Oct 13, 2019 23:04
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Soricidus posted:Wrong way round. Register a .com and then name the kid accordingly
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Oct 14, 2019 15:32
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Rent-A-Cop posted:This is my son, https://www.clownpenis.fart NO ITS NOT! That site doesn't even exist. Don't click on that site goons, it goes NOWHERE. Or maybe its because the goon doesn't have a son yet.
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Oct 14, 2019 16:20
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Strategic Tea posted:Hell yeah killing kids The revolution will be perfectly aged when he turns 21.
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Oct 15, 2019 00:15
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Dolly Parton's Imagination Library. If your area has a chapter, you get free books every month until your kid is 5.
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Oct 15, 2019 14:17
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Gonna say the person whose main concerns with having an infant include having a place to park his yacht, whether he picks up the subtleties of Mandarin early enough to pass as a native speaker and what region to buy his wine collection from probably doesn't need free books. Thank you for reminding me to sign my niece up for this KillHour fucked around with this message at 14:52 on Oct 15, 2019 |
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Oct 15, 2019 14:50
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KillHour posted:Gonna say the person whose main concerns with having an infant include having a place to park his yacht, whether he picks up the subtleties of Mandarin early enough to pass as a native speaker and what region to buy his wine collection from probably doesn't need free books. Honestly I wasn't posting for his sake, but for people (like you) who are reading this thread.
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Oct 15, 2019 17:43
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KillHour posted:...whether he picks up the subtleties of Mandarin early enough to pass as a native speaker... Weeeellllll, you can end up with a child who will happily listen to any language spoken to them and just as happily respond in English. Eat that, parents.
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Oct 15, 2019 18:59
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Do you live in a state with a good public university system (not just a super famous flagship type school, because hey, the kid might not get in, but a decent system with lots of branches)? If so, some colleges let you start "buying" tuition/credit hours at birth and then redeeming them when they attend. Might be worth looking into.
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Oct 21, 2019 05:34
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Kill Bristol posted:Do you live in a state with a good public university system (not just a super famous flagship type school, because hey, the kid might not get in, but a decent system with lots of branches)? If so, some colleges let you start "buying" tuition/credit hours at birth and then redeeming them when they attend. Might be worth looking into. Wtf that sounds hosed up
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Oct 21, 2019 08:31
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Therapy
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Oct 21, 2019 08:36
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Xun posted:Wtf that sounds hosed up It also makes WAY more sense to put that money in an interest bearing account instead.
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Oct 21, 2019 15:14
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