A new weird, but cool handheld gaming device

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > A new weird, but cool handheld gaming device

Pitdragon: Jan 20, 2004; Just another lurker

Who puts a crank on a piece of handheld electronics and doesn't even have that crank charge the device? I loving hate this OP

# ? Sep 3, 2019 17:37

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 12:52

Bruegels Fuckbooks: Sep 14, 2004; Now, listen - I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit! Yeah. I can prove it mathematically.

Sleeveless posted:

Honestly if you're just doing emulation the phone that you carry in your pocket every day is already more powerful and has a bigger screen and better sound than just about any chinesium bootleg handheld gaming device you're going to get now, the only real problem is the lack of physical buttons. I know there have been different attempts at making controller mounts for phones or accessories to add buttons but nobody's really seemed to nail it, the best thing we've gotten from it is some hilarious mock-ups of a Microsoft patent made by what I presume is the same guy who makes those fake next-gen console renders every year before E3.

https://i.imgur.com/O33qEgs.gifv

phones have bluetooth and xbox / ps4 wireless controllers support bluetooth. so i think for gaming, it's sufficient just to put the phone on a stand and play w/e game you want with a ps4 controller. i don't think we need the equivalent of switch controllers for phones.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 17:38

Bobcats: Aug 5, 2004; Oh

Goons: baaah fun thing must be mocked

# ? Sep 3, 2019 17:54

JazzFlight: Apr 29, 2006; Oooooooooooh!

defaultluser posted:

Or you can buy this for almost half the price ($35 from Pocketmini).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4nchhbk3Hw

It has a more powerful processor, and a tempered-glass IPS display plus 60fps unlocked with the latest firmware.

You can buy it on Amazon for $40, if you'd rather not buy direct/Fleabay:

https://www.amazon.com/PocketGo-Por...l/dp/B07SRXBX2S

This Retro Fishing Pro system was dead the moment it was announced.

Pocket Go has unacceptable screen tearing to me and actually I think the LDK's processor is considered better with better emulator compatibility.

EDIT: As I post this, I realize I didn't watch your video mentioning a screen tear fix. Hmm, might be worth looking into.
EDIT 2: I dunno, I watched the fix, but the comments mention that it doesn't work on every model and it's more of a hardware issue since it's a 30hz screen having problems with 60fps games.

JazzFlight fucked around with this message at 18:06 on Sep 3, 2019

# ? Sep 3, 2019 17:59

Inept: Jul 8, 2003

Whybird posted:

No but seriously what the loving poo poo is this image. It horrifies me on a deep and visceral level.

Machine learning tried to make human composites from Garry's Mod screenshots

# ? Sep 3, 2019 18:09

Sleeveless: Dec 25, 2014; by Pragmatica

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

is there anything you enjoy? every time i see you post it looks like a cry for help.

I can't seem to find the pictures anywhere but that was a reference to a thread where a goon did a "case mod" for his DS by cutting the plastic cartridge holders out out of the boxes his DS games came in and supergluing them to the back of the DS. It was very funny and they all fell off in like a day, wish I could find them.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 19:07

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

So, the Juicero folks are making a handheld gaming device now?

# ? Sep 3, 2019 19:22

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

I generally find nerd stuff awful, but this is awful WITH A CRANK!

# ? Sep 3, 2019 19:36

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Calling this overpriced junk cool is being extremely generous.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 19:45

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Resting Lich Face posted:

Calling this overpriced junk cool is being extremely generous.

Then... Ignore that it exists and don't buy one.
Why is this so hard for people?

If someone wants to charge $200 for 2 Dixie cups with string run between them and call it the new thing in phones... Who gives a poo poo? They aren't trying to offend you.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:04

JazzFlight: Apr 29, 2006; Oooooooooooh!

Big Beef City posted:

Then... Ignore that it exists and don't buy one.
Why is this so hard for people?

If someone wants to charge $200 for 2 Dixie cups with string run between them and call it the new thing in phones... Who gives a poo poo? They aren't trying to offend you.

Ehhh, we made fun of the OUYA as well and that was a hilarious disaster.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:05

TheMaskedUgly: Sep 21, 2008; Let's play a different game.

Sleeveless posted:

All they made was the crank.

best bit imo

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:10

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

Big Beef City posted:

Then... Ignore that it exists and don't buy one.
Why is this so hard for people?

If someone wants to charge $200 for 2 Dixie cups with string run between them and call it the new thing in phones... Who gives a poo poo? They aren't trying to offend you.

Yes, but no one would consider two cups and some string a good phone.

Now, if someone said that two cups and string was the NEXT INNOVATION IN PORTABLE GAMING!!1!!1 then that would be sufficiently oblique and therefore worthy of comedic ridicule.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:12

Hemingway To Go!: Nov 10, 2008; im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway

Ok so a artisinal bespoke game boy with a crank is not good enough for you goons? Challenge you to design better, bonus points for patent illustrations.

First idea is just to put a game boy on a bop it, then you have so many more options than just a crank. Or maybe giving a game boy a second screen.. like a touch screen... Could call it a "duo screen" or something.

But I think my best idea is to make a game boy with a chewable pressure sensor attached. You could make a game about being a cat and then you bite the system when you catch prey. Catsare really in with the internet indie crowd, they'd love it.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:14

JazzFlight: Apr 29, 2006; Oooooooooooh!

Hemingway To Go! posted:

Ok so a artisinal bespoke game boy with a crank is not good enough for you goons? Challenge you to design better, bonus points for patent illustrations.

First idea is just to put a game boy on a bop it, then you have so many more options than just a crank. Or maybe giving a game boy a second screen.. like a touch screen... Could call it a "duo screen" or something.

But I think my best idea is to make a game boy with a chewable pressure sensor attached. You could make a game about being a cat and then you bite the system when you catch prey. Catsare really in with the internet indie crowd, they'd love it.

Hey, Nintendo experimented with a pulse sensor for the Wii, having a chew sensor would be right up their alley.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:23

Sleeveless: Dec 25, 2014; by Pragmatica

Rad-daddio posted:

So, the Juicero folks are making a handheld gaming device now?

Hey now, the Juicero was also hugely impractical Wi-Fi networked device that nobody asked for or could afford outside of a very narrow slice of Bay Area shitheads but at least the machine itself was hilariously over-engineered and powerful to the point where they might have been selling it at a loss. The Playdate has the specs of a $20 keychain Tetris handheld minus the backlighting.

Big Beef City posted:

Then... Ignore that it exists and don't buy one.
Why is this so hard for people?

If someone wants to charge $200 for 2 Dixie cups with string run between them and call it the new thing in phones... Who gives a poo poo? They aren't trying to offend you.

You don't like the thread? Then...ignore that it exists and don't read it.
Why is this so hard for people?

If someone wants to laugh at people charging $200 for 2 Dixie cups with string run between them and call it the new thing in phones... Who gives a poo poo? They aren't trying to offend you.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:28

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

So, the people who make the overpriced synth only made the crank for this gaming device?

That's like ten minutes of work in Solidworks or any other cad software.

Stay tuned while Rad-Daddio designs valve caps for the 1998 Chevy Cavalier.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:31

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

No. 6 posted:

Don't ever post this image again

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:31

Gobblecoque: Sep 6, 2011

Big Beef City posted:

Then... Ignore that it exists and don't buy one.
Why is this so hard for people?

If someone wants to charge $200 for 2 Dixie cups with string run between them and call it the new thing in phones... Who gives a poo poo? They aren't trying to offend you.

I can't believe that people are mocking stupid poo poo on the something awful forums.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:33

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

attaching the crank to a hamster wheel to get the higih score

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:34

Martman: Nov 20, 2006

Big Beef City posted:

Then... Ignore that it exists and don't buy one.
Why is this so hard for people?

If someone wants to charge $200 for 2 Dixie cups with string run between them and call it the new thing in phones... Who gives a poo poo? They aren't trying to offend you.

yes, my only voice in the free market is my wallet

commenting further on idiotic poo poo being a stupid scam is way above our qualifications, we are only allowed to either consume or not consume

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:36

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

Smythe posted:

attaching the crank to a hamster wheel to get the higih score

Like all of the lazy and out of shape folks who were trying to find workarounds for Pokemon Go so they wouldn't have to walk.

"If I attach my phone to a ceiling fan mounted outside I won't have to waddle around the neighborhood".

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:46

salt shakeup: Jun 27, 2004; 'orrible fucking nights

Big Beef City posted:

Then... Ignore that it exists and don't buy one.
Why is this so hard for people?

If someone wants to charge $200 for 2 Dixie cups with string run between them and call it the new thing in phones... Who gives a poo poo? They aren't trying to offend you.

That's absolutely worth making fun of. Take your nihilistic bullshit elsewhere.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:47

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

Martman posted:

yes, my only voice in the free market is my wallet

commenting further on idiotic poo poo being a stupid scam is way above our qualifications, we are only allowed to either consume or not consume

I came here to chew bubblegum and shitpost about video games

...and I'm all out of bubblegum.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:47

GolfHole: Feb 26, 2004

Former DILF posted:

Wait it�s a black and white non backlit gameboy and that crank doesn�t charge the battery? what in the hell

seriously that was the only reason i even clicked the link in the first place

# ? Sep 3, 2019 20:57

Creamed Cormp: Jan 8, 2011; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

sorry OP but I want to disagree with you here, there's no way a "handheld gaming device" could ever be "cool" because gamers are the absolute opposite of cool.

god bless

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:06

Dr. Gojo Shioji: Apr 22, 2004

This will be a cool ten second novelty when they release a Resident Evil 1 port and you can crank the system's handle to actually crank the handle in-game for the dam/waterway. Or maybe they can release a game about being a 1930s cameraman for a film studio. Lotta possibilities here.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:29

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

Dr. Gojo Shioji posted:

This will be a cool ten second novelty when they release a Resident Evil 1 port and you can crank the system's handle to actually crank the handle in-game for the dam/waterway. Or maybe they can release a game about being a 1930s cameraman for a film studio. Lotta possibilities here.

beyoind good and evil but with a 30s noir aesthetic

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:30

Sleeveless: Dec 25, 2014; by Pragmatica

The weird thing about the crank is that the only game they've shown off for it is a narrative-driven game where you turn the crank to control the passage of time and progress through the story. Given the pedigree of indie devs they've got working on this it seems like the majority of the games that come out for it are going to be like that, very short storygames that don't really gain anything from being portable and are just rocking the affected retro aesthetic for effect. The people making it have joked on Twitter that there will definitely be at least one fishing game in the first season but this seems like the type of platform that should be emphasizing repayable arcadey experience you can pick up and play or strategy/RPGs with a ton of iteration and progression rather than a game about a sad robot going on a date that you crank though once and then roll credits.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:31

Creamed Cormp: Jan 8, 2011; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

goons that care a lot about a hobby for children surprised that the targeted consumers of a new children's toy are being treated like children, news at 11.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:37

Lhet: Apr 2, 2008; bloop

I tried it at PAX, only demo game was the gimmicky time travel crank-only game which was kinda interesting I guess but not worth getting the console. That said, the console looked and felt really really great, and if the library was good enough I think it'd be completely worthwhile console.

# ? Sep 3, 2019 21:42

defaultluser: Jan 13, 2007; The person can drink sake for the following five reasons. First of all, for the national holiday. Moreover, it fills with the nectar. Finally, for reasons. Next, to heal the dryness of the place. After that, to refuse the future; Fun Shoe

JazzFlight posted:

Pocket Go has unacceptable screen tearing to me and actually I think the LDK's processor is considered better with better emulator compatibility.

EDIT: As I post this, I realize I didn't watch your video mentioning a screen tear fix. Hmm, might be worth looking into.
EDIT 2: I dunno, I watched the fix, but the comments mention that it doesn't work on every model and it's more of a hardware issue since it's a 30hz screen having problems with 60fps games.

Read the text at The site I linked for sale:

https://retromimi.com/products/pocketgo-retro-gaming-system

All PocketGo sold here has been updated with the Latest V1.2 CFW.

And here buying DIRECT FROM MANUFACTURER, SAME CFW 1.2 STORY!

https://www.bittboy.com/collections/pocketgo/products/pocketgo-retro-handheld

If it's a hardware issue, why are they making the 60fps fix official? Driver folks who worked on the fix just said it's Bitboy's unfamiliarity with the SPI bus and their new IPS screen, not a hardware issue!

And CFW 1.3 fixes NES performance, which was the last major complaint.

Don't believe the poo poo from it's launch back in June, or posts from assholes trying to poo poo on this thing perpetually. It's really only needed software fixes to make it shine.

THERE IS NO MORE TEARING. There is Slowdown, in more complex (SNES, PSX, Sega 32X) games, sure, but it just skips frames and keeps rendering at 60 fps synced. But for every other system, it's smooth and fast.

defaultluser fucked around with this message at 01:03 on Sep 4, 2019

# ? Sep 4, 2019 00:46