- deep dish peat moss
- Jul 27, 2006
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I'm crossposting this from my BYOB thread Post text in here and I will record it with the sounds of my mouth for a wider audience and to see if GBS enjoys this too.
Rules
Post paragraphs of text in this thread and if I would like to do a dramatic reading of it, I will do a dramatic reading of it. This may include, if possible, me turning your text into a rap song.
I don't promise that I will record every piece of text posted in here but hell don't let that stop you.
Priority is given to surreal funny things and funny SA forums posts. I won't yell racist or homophobic things or whatever or read Mein Kampf.
Here is the track listing for the current BYOB tape that started today so you can get a feel @ what you're in for
1. GOTTA BIG BOOTY
2. I'm Heather Papps
3. Throw The Thing Away
4. Keeping the Cheesefaith
5. Bootyphus
I don't make any promises on how often I will post new recordings
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Sep 1, 2019 03:14
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 23, 2024 19:11
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- Watermelon Daiquiri
- Jul 10, 2010
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I TRIED TO BAIT THE TXPOL THREAD WITH THE WORLD'S WORST POSSIBLE TAKE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID AVATAR.
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wow i can dramatically read better than you buddy how hard can it be???
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Sep 1, 2019 03:45
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- super sweet best pal
- Nov 18, 2009
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As a larger project, I'd suggest the old Truman Show thread.
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Sep 1, 2019 04:04
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Apr 23, 2024 19:11
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- Songbearer
- Jul 12, 2007
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Fuck you say?
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Crossposting from the BYOB thread because this is a Fun Thing™ and I know there are a bunch of people here with wonderful voices to say a bunch of dumb poo poo with
quote:
Godspeed John posted:
every day she screams this phase into the ether. her voice emanating from this house only to get lost in the void. knick knacks knocked off of shelves, umbrella stand tumbles onto the floor and I say nothing. I do not even look in her direction. "we gonna ignore the fact that i've GOT A HUGE BOOTY," she screams again and again. the bookshelf has fallen over. Books are everywhere. I cannot acknowledge it. I MUST ignore the fact that she GOT A HUGE BOOTY. Such is the Orphean deal that I have made with the gods. We no longer share a bed, There is no longer any room for me, but I can never utter why. I MUSE ignore the fact that SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY else all i will be lost. Is a life where all I can do is ignore the face that sheGOT A BIG BOOTY even worth living? But the question is moot, as I am bound by duty and divine contract and I am a man of honor.
Wiv mewsik
Wivvaht
quote:Heather Papps posted:
For the purposes of discussion, Richard Dawkins described seven "milestones" on his spectrum of booty believability:[5]
1 Strong theist. 100% probability that the booty exists. In the words of C.G. Jung: "I do not believe, I know."
2 De facto theist. Very high probability but short of 100%. "I don't know for certain, but I strongly believe in the huge booty and live my life on the assumption that itis there."
3 Leaning towards theism. Higher than 50% but not very high. "I am very uncertain, but I am inclined to believe in you have a huge booty."
4 Completely impartial. Exactly 50%. "your bootys largeness or smallness are exactly equiprobable."
5 Leaning towards atheism. Lower than 50% but not very low. "I do not know whether your booty is huge but I'm inclined to be skeptical."
6 De facto atheist. Very low probability, but short of zero. "I don't know for certain but I think your booty is very improbable, and I live my life on the assumption that it is not huge."
7 Strong atheist. "I know there is no huge booty, with the same conviction as Jung knows there is one."
1) Version with music. "There is music, and I can hear it."
2) Version without. "There is no music, and I will never hear it."
quote:
Heather Papps posted:
when i burst forward screaming from my mother, my father hoisted me up, then severed the cord to womanhood with a swift swipe of a blade. then he thrust the sword into the earth, displayed my brooding visage to them and declared
THIS IS MY SON. I GIVE HIM NOT BUT MY STRENGTH OF BLOOD, MY CUNNING OF MIND, AND A BLADE THAT HE MAY TAKE ALL ELSE HE DESIRES
i was born a man. i suckled on fermented bears milk, drank fresh blood from the cows each morn. the birth had destroyed my mother, i have never known her face.
when i could grip, a dagger was my rattle, a shortsword my treasured friend. i knew nothing but battle. my father trained me, forged me into strongest iron until the day i could defeat him at any challenge. he had built me into a man without fear.
then the woman came to town. father did not shield me from her, warn me of her charms. she was a witch of the grey forest, and she bound me with sigils and signs. she cut my hair, and bound my heart in bands of steel i could not bend or break.
i hate my father. he taught me how to fight men, so that i would be powerless against women.
 VERSION WITH MUSIC.
 I NEED NO MUSIC.
quote:
Manifisto" posted:
Manifisto posted:
a bad man wants to do bad things. the bad man can be stopped by throwing something away, but grownups can't be trusted to throw the thing away because they are very greedy and will keep the thing instead and use it for nasty grownup stuff. so it's up to some small basically children to go to the place to throw it away, and it's hard because almost everybody else in the world wants the thing, including another child who became really bad and ugly and not nice because he wanted the thing too much. there are also some really smart and friendly tall grownups who don't want the thing and sing a lot of songs. people wonder why the children didn't ride eagles to the place where they can throw the thing away, and actually nobody knows why they didn't ride the eagles, it would have been much faster.
Yes! Yes! Musicses playing for us, it is!
NO! SILENCES! SILENCES THE NOISES!
this is the most times i've ever yelled "booty" at my mic
Throw some stuff my way and I'll find a suitable voice or feel free to participate too 
E: forgot reference posts stupid phone
Songbearer fucked around with this message at 16:10 on Sep 5, 2019
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Sep 5, 2019 10:26
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Sep 1, 2019 03:14
