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BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
In honor of Verlander's third career no hitter, I present the sad case of Larry Corcoran, pitcher in the 1880's who also had three career no hitters and died in obscurity.

https://sports.yahoo.com/unbelievable-story-larry-corcoran-first-pitcher-three-no-hitters-141714011.html

This is a pro click.

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BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Sydin posted:

I mean yeah probably, but I'm not sure what tantalizing trade offer they're going to get for a platoon-hitting DH with a career .814 OPS. I doubt Theo is going to offload him for a bag of baseballs, and unless they actually do go out and sign Castellanos who is 100% guaranteed to turn into a pumpkin the second he inks his overpay deal it's not like the Cubs have anybody better ready and waiting to replace him in LF.

Also Chicago would riot even though Schwarber has been a fairly pedestrian player so far in his career, and I assume the last thing the FO wants right now is more heat from fans.

I for one, would be quite miffed.

And you shut your drat mouth about Schwarber. He's Barry Bonds, Ted Williams, and Babe Ruth combined and also the greatest human who has ever lived.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

welp

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
https://twitter.com/Cubs/status/1169724930126229507?s=20

Did I miss it, or does MLB not have expanded September rosters anymore?

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
I wish I could be as bad at my job as Joe West, Angel Hernandez, CB Bucknor are at theirs and have absolutely no fear of repercussions whatsoever.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Tom Gorman posted:

Actually his bones are made out of flesh too. The man has no skeleton and he's putting up these kinds of numbers. It's remarkable.

It's not even human flesh. Scientists are baffled. What resembles a skeleton inside of Kyle appears to be made of pure angus beef.

Kyle Schwarber was made in a lab when scientists were trying to create the perfect beefy baseball player. Also, his natural aroma is sawdust and freshly-baked bread.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
Requesting name change to Dinger Pants

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
The Cubs are garbage assholes.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
https://twitter.com/JonHeyman/status/1171053595564941313?s=19

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
I love useless bullshit stats like this.

https://twitter.com/mbrown1028/status/1171426220283744256?s=20

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

elentar posted:

Astrolling




The best game.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Well that social media guy is fired.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
I can say "Completely Useless By September" again!

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Popete posted:

As much as I dislike Derek Jeter he's likely a better person than Mariano Rivera and his lovely world views.

That said, ban all Yankees from the HoF

Gehrig seemed ok.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
edit: wrong thread

BigBallChunkyTime fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Sep 15, 2019

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
Anything on Rizzo yet?

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
Aww balls. :smith:

https://twitter.com/ZachZaidman/status/1173697784580587520?s=20

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Zaidman's tweet said he needed surgery, then a walking boot for 5-7 days and then the team would re-assess.

This one says no surgery, but a return in the regular season is doubtful.

https://twitter.com/ESPNChiCubs/status/1173699588328448002?s=20

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Kevlar v2.0 posted:

At least now we'll have the excuse of no Javy and no Rizzo to fall back on when the Cubs collapse.

We have Nico to fill the Javy void.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

uggy posted:

lmao at midwest speak in that tweet, god i love it

Peak Midwest would have been the third baseman saying "Nope, you're fine" as the ball goes past.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

IcePhoenix posted:

He tried that already and it probably cost his team the World Series

:drat:

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
I can't handle the Brewers getting stupid hot in September for the second year in a row. Go away!! Gah!!

BigBallChunkyTime fucked around with this message at 14:55 on Sep 18, 2019

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

zoux posted:

Why are there even IL games in September? Next year the Astros close the season against the Braves. All September games should be divisional.

And for an even hotter take: the only time the NL and AL should play each other is the AS game and the WS

You're wrong. Stop being so wrong. IL play owns and I won't hear otherwise.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

zoux posted:

You just like it when your pitchers don't have to hit

No, I like seeing teams, ballparks, and players that I wouldn't ordinarily see.

Also gently caress the DH.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Troxartas posted:

Schwarber meter now swings back to always bad

I will fight you irl

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

GPTribefan posted:

I’ll never forget when he played for the Royals and Tom Hamilton said he “runs like he’s dragging a plow behind him”. He tries to stretch a single into a double and it did not go well

They didn't time him with a stopwatch. They timed him with a sundial.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
Put Domingo and Addison Russell in the octagon together. The one who survives isn't banned from the league but there will be no mandate to sign him. And the team has to make a donation equal to the size of his contract to RAINN or a similar organization.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Pancakes posted:

Cubs should be rooting for the Reds like crazy these next three games. If the Brewers lose not only does it get the Cubs closer to them but it makes the final series for the Cardinals potentially less meaningful, depending on the results in Arizona.

Nah. It's dead. And even if a miracle happened and they made the WC game they'd lose in Cub fashion. No thanks.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
Just because I'm a Cubs fan and wallowing in misery is what I do, this is the 21st anniversary of Brant Brown dropping the fly ball in Milwaukee in 1998.

https://youtu.be/dlxpo9sTIC4

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Bird in a Blender posted:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Beck sporting an all-time pitcher body, mustache, and hair there.

I was doped up on pain meds because I'd had surgery the day before and giggled about Santo's reaction the rest of the day.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Timby posted:

So assuming Maddon gets fired about five minutes after the end of the game on Sunday, who are the probable candidates for Epstein to chase as manager? I imagine Girardi's near the top of the list (even though I think he and Epstein would mix about as well as oil and water), but I'm having a hard time thinking of anyone else.

Of course, the Tribune is doing their usual spitballing (the same poo poo they've done ever since they lost access once the Rickettses bought the team) and saying that players like Bryant and Baez are trade candidates, so God only knows what's going on.

His contract is up so they won't fire him, just not renew him.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Zigmidge posted:

I'm getting the impression that a lot of y'all are bald.

My dad wore hats all the drat time and had that horseshoe thing going on.

I never wear hats because I don't like things on my head and I"m still losing my hair.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Miz Kriss posted:

My grandpa always said “being a Cubs fan teaches you how to deal with disappointment,” and growing up where the majority of people are Cardinals fans helped build that armor. However, 2016 gave me a taste of that ambrosia and now I keep wanting another sip.

I’m really glad my grandpa was able to see them win it all before he passed.

My Dad honestly thought he'd never see a championship in his lifetime. He was the first person I called after the final out in Game 7.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
Seems like the accepted notion around baseball is that Maddon will not be back in Chicago next year.


https://twitter.com/ArchCityMedia/status/1177671179731193856?s=20

BigBallChunkyTime fucked around with this message at 20:54 on Sep 27, 2019

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Poque posted:

What if the White Sox hire Joe Maddon

Then you can point and laugh at me and call me an idiot.

I mean, even moreso....

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

This is why you don't scratch your groin.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

UZR IS BULLSHIT posted:

Twins-Yankees is now tied for 3rd most frequent playoff matchup, and 1st for same league matchups. The Twins have never won lol

What are the other two? I assume Yankees/Dodgers is in there?

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
1-7 really don't care

8. Braves
9. Yankees
10. Cardinals

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
I want something crazy like Twins/Nats, but seeing as the baseball gods are vengeful assholes we'll get Yankees/Cardinals.

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BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
Ummmmm..... :stare:

https://twitter.com/philgrogers/status/1178808739794751490?s=20

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