Schadenfreude: pro-click zone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Abe1W1gGXy0

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Schadenfreude: pro-click zone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Abe1W1gGXy0

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Should there even be a poll here??? This poll is closed.
Yes	106	15.84%
No	117	17.49%
Goku	446	66.67%
Total:	669 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Zopotantor posted:

The duct tape held it up.

You fool, that's extra-reinforced Tesla Cybertape�!

# ¿ Nov 24, 2019 01:59

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 05:04

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Zaphod42 posted:

You know you literally just pull it, right? Its right there next to you. There's nothing fancy. You just yank it.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2019 07:15

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Randaconda posted:

of course we're apes, what else could we be

Plucked chickens?

# ¿ Dec 17, 2019 04:36

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Lodin posted:

Is Bigpeeler stil a posting superstar over there? I just know that's where he ended up once he finally took the hint.

E: Oh poo poo, I think this might actually be him.
https://twitter.com/Bigpeeler/status/1209312800990007297?s=20

...I'm not sure he gets Twitter.

https://twitter.com/Bigpeeler/status/1206464679255691265

https://twitter.com/Bigpeeler/status/1205682390514962432
(I don't have a Facebook login so I have no idea what this actually goes to)

https://twitter.com/Bigpeeler/status/1204221126852972545

I think maybe he's trying to start threads?

# ¿ Jan 8, 2020 08:27

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Humphreys posted:

While we are talking about conspiracies, have you ever seen a baby Pelican?

That's nothing, have you ever seen a baby goose?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goose_barnacle

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 11:50

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Pennywise the Frown posted:

"It was like that when you brought it in", obviously.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 04:21

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

muscles like this! posted:

Seems like literally anything would have been better than just trying to flush them down the drain.

I don't know why it didn't work, it worked fine in this documentary about the Olympics I saw once.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 03:50

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Zopotantor posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steal_This_Book

# ¿ Mar 30, 2020 01:45

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Pennywise the Frown posted:

https://i.imgur.com/GssAUxX.mp4

"Hi can you squeeze me in for an oil change?"

# ¿ Apr 3, 2020 23:15

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

The Glumslinger posted:

https://twitter.com/slideearound/status/1247275476713967616

For what it's worth this is a Motel 6, not an apartment building.

# ¿ Apr 7, 2020 06:34

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

bossy lady posted:

NASCAR driver suspended for saying a racial slur on stream during a race (can you guess which one?)

The white one?

# ¿ Apr 14, 2020 00:55

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Memento posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h10N2AiGkwA

# ¿ May 3, 2020 10:43

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Man I really want to see someone start up that helicopter.

# ¿ May 6, 2020 08:34

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Squalid posted:

Looking at it from a distance, it's body is too long and thin. Vipers tend to have short fat bodies. It's head looks more oval than triangular, which is also wrong, though its too far off to really tell. But also the way its moving is all wrong, its too energetic. It looks more like a rat snake or something to me.

Agreed, as someone who picks up a lot of snakes, as long as the video's from North America that's definitely something non-venomous. Rat snake was my thought too.

# ¿ May 7, 2020 02:42

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

prayer group posted:

i'm the guy holding a pillow over his boner the whole time

The story of my life.

# ¿ May 15, 2020 21:22

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

So both my parents keep ordering me masks out of the blue right now, even though I already have my own masks. I suspect many of you are going through the same thing. Anyway today I get an email from my dad that the photo for the Amazon listing he ordered from has changed...

:nws:

https://i.imgur.com/vRROIzR.png

I can't wait to see what I get on Sunday.

# ¿ May 22, 2020 17:51

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

value-brand cereal posted:

I'm not sure what they're getting at here with this incredibly vague marketing. Every universe that has its own Johnny 'wifebeater extraordinaire' Depp is a dark universe.

That was the failed attempt at Universal's "classic monsters" universe, but after the Tom Cruise Mummy flopped so bad the entire thing was abandoned. Russell Crowe was in The Mummy as Dr. Jekyll who I guess was supposed to be the Iron Man/lynchpin of the whole thing. I think Johnny Depp was supposed to be up next as The Invisible Man but after the whole abuse thing that casting fell out of favor fast, especially with the way they took the new completely-standalone Invisible Man with Elizabeth Moss that just came out. Apparently Javier Bardem was supposed to be Frankenstein ('s Monster, don't @ me).

# ¿ May 22, 2020 19:07

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

Batman v Superman was better than Civil War

For sure.

Oh wait do you mean the movie?

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ¿ May 22, 2020 23:13

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Jake Paul got pepper-sprayed for ~~looting~~ "documenting looting".
https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/jake-paul-criticized-for-allegedly-looting-at-arizona-mall/

quote:

The videos, which were posted to Instagram by Andrew Blue, Paul�s videographer and photographer, show the YouTuber, 23, and others at Fashion Square in Scottsdale, Arizona. Though the Ohio native is not seen destroying the shopping center, others around him are kicking in glass windows, breaking kiosks and more.

On his own Instagram Stories, Paul filmed outside Fashion Square. �Bunch of f�king idiots, bro. Literally I walked right here, right up to there,� he says motioning toward where police officers are stationed, �these f�cking idiots teargassed me. I ain�t doing s�t, bro. Look at them pointing guns at me.�

The �It�s Everyday Bro� singer later showed a closeup of his eye, writing, �I�m teared gassed [sic] my eyes are bleeding.�

# ¿ Jun 1, 2020 04:49

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Wingnut Ninja posted:

https://twitter.com/DrJonathanRosa/status/1270430741474598912

Oof...

Apparently this isn't entirely accurate, they made three versions, one with skis, one with fruit crates, and one with just arrows, and all three were half in English and half in Spanish. This picture's showing the English half of the ski poster next to the Spanish half of the fruit crate poster. It's still horribly tone-deaf to make a fruit crate version at all, but it's not quite as bad as the original tweet makes it look.

Also I can't imagine that many people in Ventura County ski in the first place, it's a coastal county several hours from the nearest heavy snow.

https://twitter.com/CountyVentura/status/1269656781350793217

I doubt they'll take the apology tweet down, but just in case.

# ¿ Jun 10, 2020 06:28

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

dialhforhero posted:

Someone has never been to a large body of water before, I see.

Oh yeah, that.

But I've never heard of anyone waterskiing in the Pacific, it's much too rough along the California coast, so I can still pretend like I knew what I was talking about until someone corrects me about that :colbert:

# ¿ Jun 10, 2020 20:04

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

purple death ray posted:

I've never been to Cali, do they have lakes there or is it just the ocean

We used to have lakes but they all burned away.

Real answer SoCal is a desert where the only lakes are man-made reservoirs. Or accidents. I'm sure there's some waterskiing lakes within reasonable driving distance of Ventura.

# ¿ Jun 10, 2020 21:45

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

That Flixbus in the OP was a double decker bus which is significantly taller than 11'1" so the driver really hosed up a lot

Well now it's a tour bus, problem solved.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2020 21:24

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Samuringa posted:

Bolsonaro got bitten(pecked?) by a rhea(imagine an emu's latin cousin)

https://twitter.com/rafaelcampos/status/1282789900526456832

Guess Emu War II will be starting up soon.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2020 03:28

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Pope Corky the IX posted:

So is it Doctor Scat then?

The correct appellation is "Bweee Doctor Da Da Da".

# ¿ Jul 18, 2020 01:56

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

3D Megadoodoo posted:

Did Lowtax ever write anything funny on this site? (Serious question, I lurked for years and read the front page and all and he was the main reason I didn't register.)

Jeff K and Leonard J. Crabs were funny by 90's internet standards, the problem is his style of shout-writing never really evolved as the rest of the internet did. He barely wrote anything on front page at all once the site got big enough to hire other writers (I'm pretty sure they actually got paid in those heydays) so he could stop having to do any work.

Bottom Liner posted:

lmao he has 6 remaining patrons

That was an example of a Lowtax joke, if he's still making $772 a month there's no way he's making that from 6 people. Unless one of them is his mom.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2020 02:10

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Doggles posted:

https://twitter.com/borzou/status/1287483595557408771

You'd think religious people would take things like this and literal plague that's going on as a sign of something and reconsider Trump, but nope, for them god must be knocking down the border wall and killing a bunch of Americans because of all the gays.

Edit: Just to be extra clear I'm not saying I interpret these things as some kind of divine retribution, but there's plenty of Americans out there who will interpret everything everything as acts of god except for the stuff that goes against their personal views.

Knormal fucked around with this message at 01:14 on Jul 27, 2020

# ¿ Jul 27, 2020 01:11

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

dog nougat posted:

Looking at this again, I think he's actually kicking at the FofGIFs logo and the kid just happened to get in the way,

# ¿ Aug 5, 2020 06:38

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

KoRMaK posted:

Do you not know that you can generally identify venomous snakes by the shape of their head?

This is a myth. Snakes in the viper family (like rattlesnakes) generally have triangular heads, but the more-venomous snakes in the elapid family (like cobras, coral snakes, and most of the Australian snakes) have normal snake-shaped heads, the same shape as the generally non-venomous colubrids (like garter snakes, corn snakes, gopher snakes, etc.). And many non-venomous snakes that live alongside vipers will flatten out their head into a triangle when threatened to mimic a viper.

There's absolutely no way to tell venomous snakes from non-venomous on a global level, all the little tricks and rhymes people share are regional at best.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2020 23:39

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

-Zydeco- posted:

This whole thread:
https://twitter.com/saimotaa/status/1296910209286320128

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fP-fasxYvFg
(When someone drops a cup during a recording session)

# ¿ Aug 24, 2020 02:34

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcaDz7oJmfE

Sound recommended.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2020 03:20

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

LifeSunDeath posted:

that hurts to watch, ugh, the next day headache must be unreal.

I bet his hair smelled great though.

# ¿ Sep 15, 2020 02:10

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

My elementary school playground had the giant tires, only ours were set laying on their side. They were full of black widows. Good times.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2020 21:24

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

Yea, kids are basically invulnerable as long as there's no adults around to witness the carnage and exclaim terror or act scared. Once that happens though, schrodinger's broken arm waveform collapses and OH NO I GOT AN OWIE!!!!

Someone's forgetting the saga of the drat rear end Rock.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2020 23:33

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

My favorite bit is always the person trying to turn right who just watched their road get filled with debris, lingers slightly, then pulls back out to go straight.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2020 00:32

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

TACD posted:

Looks like somebody recording security camera footage; I assume either they�re smart enough to not want to export the video from the system because it�d leave some log file or watermark that would trace back to them, or they�re too dumb to know how to export the video at all.

As someone who has to deal with security camera video files at work occasionally, a lot of systems only export to a proprietary format that you have to use the manufacturer's software to play. On one level this is the typical normal rear end in a top hat walled garden stuff all specialist software companies will do if they can get away with it, but it's also kind of justifiable since it also preserves timestamps, alternative feeds from multiple camera, and other stuff that can be legally relevant if the footage needs to be used in court. Also the export logging stuff you mention. There's usually some convoluted way to make a clip a standard MP4, but it's not as easy as copying a video file off a phone or something.

There's no excuse for the orientation though.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2020 01:10