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Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Solice Kirsk posted:

Eesh, I was kidding around before, but that was some next level rear end in a top hat moves from the guys on the boat luring that pig to be eaten.

It's ok to kill wild hogs they are a gently caress to the environment

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Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

bell jar posted:

furtiously googleing *what age is it ok to be a nazi* *statute of limitattions on being a nazi guard*

The dude's 93 just kill him and put him in jail not like his last years are gonna be all that cool anyways.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Admiral Joeslop posted:

The batter is supposed to move out of the batter box after the catcher has the ball, if they didn't swing or bunt.

I think.

He was, and the catcher 100% did that on purpose because he's not gonna throw anyone out at 3rd 99% of the time and if he knows the batter isn't gonna move he might get the batter out for interference.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Zopotantor posted:

Is that a reference to (CAUTION: extremely obnoxious)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLQC3yLEFGk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXWvKDSwvls&t=115s

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

There's also a card that some departments give to contact a victim advocate with a bunch of resources for mental trauma care on it.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

It's too bad the motorcycle guy didn't die.

Every fucker I know that has a "look twice, save a life" on their car rides their motorcycle like a complete rear end in a top hat.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Takes No Damage posted:

Couple years ago a guy in my office got one of the IRS scammers while he was in the office, so he put it on speaker and lead them on for a bit. They wanted him to drive to a drug store and buy a bunch of iTunes gift cards and read them the codes. To pay back the IRS :cripes: He told the guy he was getting into his car and the 'manager' on the phone wanted him to honk his horn to prove it. Not long after he just told the guy to gently caress off and hung up.

Couple years before THAT some guys in a white van tried to flag me down ON THE ROAD to sell me some speakers. I hadn't heard about that whole thing yet and was actually in the market for some, so I might have really done it if I hadn't been in my work vehicle at the time :downs:

What's the speaker scam? Some dudes asked me in a 7-11 parking lot if I wanted speakers but I have no use for any sort of audio configuration so I said no. Is it just...buying used speakers?

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Enjoy from r/teachers

quote:

r/Teachers
•Posted byu/maroonmallard
6 hours ago
TIFU- teacher edition
So today started like a normal day. We have a fire drill in the morning which throws a few things off. After that the day gets a bit rushed, but nothing too crazy.

Two of my kids clipped off chart yesterday and chose to have lunch with me. So I send kids to cafeteria and as they get their lunch, I run to restroom. ah poo poo. I started my period. Normally I’m prepared but this monthly visitor decided to come by early, so here I am. Two kids in my room unattended and now I have soiled undies. Oh well, Not much I can do, they’ll be out to recess anyways in 15 min. We eat lunch, and all is fine. I deal with my situation.

After lunch I decide it’s a nice day, so we’ll do our math outside. I make an “odd and even” relay. Kids pull a number from a jar, and have to run and right it in chalk on the odd or even side.

Here comes gently caress up number two. Some kid runs with a sharpened pencil and runs exactly into another student, stabbing him with pencil. GREAT! So I have one kid in principals and one in the nurse. Oh well accidents happen.

We go about our afternoon fairly normal. At end of day, I do read aloud. As I’m reading to students, I start to get these Terrible cramps. If you’re a lady you know what I mean. Like holy cow. Terrible. I grab a story book and have one of my high kids read to the class as I book it for the restroom.

There are two adult restrooms in my wing, one private, and one communal. I try to go to the private one, but they have the hallway blocked off since there happens to be some work being done. So I head to communal. I hear someone else is in there so I think to myself “gently caress, this isn’t going to sound nice” so I decide to try to fart before I get into the restroom, to prevent that embarrassment of the small restroom. Major major gently caress up. It wasn’t a fart. It’s period shits. Yep I poo poo my pants at work.

I do my best to wipe the poo poo off my undies and clean up before dismissal. I run back to my class and douse myself in perfume to hope no parents notice. I wrap my jacket around my waist. The second my kids are gone I booked it home and showered.

Dear lord I need a bottle of wine.

TLDR: rough day. Started my period unprepared. One of my students stabbed another. I just shut myself 10 min before dismissal.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Imagined posted:

For those who clicked on this and noped out when they saw it was 30+ minutes long, the funny part is in the first minute.

It's too bad it doesn't last the whole thirty minutes lol goddamn

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Well it's not how I do it, but I'll give it a try.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

azurite posted:

Bet that guy might even make employee of the week!

Bet he gets fired

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates


:yowie:

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Aerdan posted:

Okay, since you chucklefucks seem to think I'm bullshitting:

Diets

Weight-Watchers/WW: "Weit Loss With Self-help Compared With a Structured Commercial Program", JAMA 289(14): 1792-98, 2003, DOI: 10.1001/jama.289.14.1792

Jenny Craig: "Effect of a Free Prepared Meal and Incentivized Weight Loss Program on Weight Loss and Weight Loss Maintenance in Obese and Overweight Women", JAMA 304(16): 1803-10, 2010, DOI: 10.1001/jama.2010.1503

What we can assume about people who drop out of these programs: "Evaluation of an Intensive Weight Contrl Program Using a Priori Criteria to Determine Outcome", International Journal of Obesity and Related Metabolic Disorders 16: 505-17, 1992, PMID: 1323547.

Meal replacements: "Systematic Review: An Evaluation of Major Commercial Weight Loss Programs in the United States", Annals of Internal Medicine 142: 56-66, 2005, PMID: 15630109.

Low-carb versus low-fat: "A Randomized Trial of a Low-carbohydrate Diet for Obesity", New England Journal of Medicine 348: 2082-90, 2003.

Low-GI diet versus low-calorie: "Effects of a Reduced-glycemic-load Diet on Body Weight, Body Composition, and Cardiovascular Disease Risk Markers in Overweight and Obese Adults", American Journal of Clinical Nutrition 85(3): 724-34, March 2007.

Calorie-restriction diets don't work: "Medicare's Search for Effective Obesity Treatments: Diets Are Not the Answer", American Psychologist 62(3): 220-33, April 2007, DOI: 10.1037/0003-066X.62.3.220.

Weight-loss surgery, which I didn't discuss but is worth mentioning anyway: Cost-effectiveness of Surgically Induced Weight Loss for the Management of Type 2 Diabetes: Modeled Lifetime Analysis", Diabetes Care 32(4): 567-74, April 2009, DOI: 10.2337/dc08-1749.

Exercise:

Australian Sports Commission's annual report for 2009: https://ausport.gov.au/_data/assets/pdf_file/0005/377069/ERASS_Report_2009.pdf (latest available when Big Fat Lies was written)

Relationship between weight loss and exercise: "Relation between Caloric Intake, Body Weight, and Physical Work: Studies in an Industrial Male Population in West Bengal", American Journal of Clinical Nutrition 4(2): 169-75, March 1956.

Exercise and obesity: "Fatness Leads to Inactivity, but Inactivity Does Not Lead to Fatness: A Longitudinal Study in Children (Early Bird 45)", Archives of Disease in Childhood, DOI: 10.1136/adc.2009/175927.

AHA review on exercise and obesity: https://acsm.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Home_Page&TEMPLATE=CML/HTMLDisplay.cfm&ContentID=7764

Does regular exercise cause weight loss? "The Effect of Physical Activity on 18-month Weight Change in Overweight Adults", Obesit 19(1): 100-109, 2011, DOI: 10.1038/oby.2010.122.

Now gently caress off and post actual schadenfreude.

There is no way this dude isn't 5'7" pushing 300 lbs lol

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Beachcomber posted:

Sound definitely recommended.

No it's not it makes me really sad with a daughter that age :(

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Icon Of Sin posted:

It's never a bad time to post Richard Spencer getting decked to various songs. It just pairs so well with so many things.

Darude/Sandstorm:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f27BdSfMUIo

Rembrandts/I'll Be There for You:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhXyS31BHRA

Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpVICJzy7jc

MIA/Paper Planes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=087xO5v16gE

There's one for everyone! :getin:

Whoever punched him is a loving hero because the whole "punch Nazis" movement was really dying down. This guy brought it back.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Bingo!

How is anyone supposed to ever know if something like Krav Maga works if you never see it tested? You can't.

Also most of Krav is a bunch of bullshit because you just pay $3000 and take a 1 day course (I think) and boom, you're an instructor.

All of those military style fighting styles are mostly bullshit. Anything you can't test against a resisting opponent is just not going to work. Look at aikido guys. A lot of them really bought into the mysticism of it and really think they defeat anyone. They don't spar. So we'll never know. (we do know, it doesn't work). Most of the people who are good at aikido are really fat and tall and can just overpower you. It's not the technique.

I took the Marine Corps Martial Arts Program (MCMAP) and I would have gotten the poo poo kicked out of me had I gotten in a fight. And I thought I was a killer. I thought to myself "Well I can't try it out on my friends because it involves eye gouging and stomping throats and stuff." Well if I can't get into a position to do that like I get tackled or get knocked out with a right hook beforehand then it really doesn't matter. That training is just last ditch effort try to kill the guy stuff. Also, a huge part of it is building (false) confidence so that Marines don't turn and run.

The higher MCMAP belts definitely involved BJJ poo poo and legit striking practice. I was stationed on Quantico and got to go to the black belt course and loving Brian Stann was one of the people who helped train us. Maybe it was just his courses but we did MMA drills and poo poo loving sucked. But when we went back to train grey and green belts yea it was definitely "grab the hand, make the cheeseburger, pray for thanks" or whatever that stupid loving wrist lock was that would get you knocked out because you use both hands to grab one of your opponent's.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Zipperelli. posted:

I was gonna say. theres a lot of pearl clutchers in here.

Cement is harmless so long as you immediately wash it off. I know tons of people who have redone their driveways and put their babies handprints and footprints in the cement for "reasons" and the kids have all been fine.

Relax. Stop being goons for once.

It's because as much as the goons know about the Dunning-Kruger effect, they still remember that one time someone posted what happens if you let concrete dry on you and now they're deathly afraid of it because it happens every time, to everyone.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

BrianBoitano posted:

oh hey look a new, untainted page

https://i.imgur.com/NdIRRVl.mp4

Smarter than my kid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1I0zjInGbYM

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Xarbala posted:

The Academy Awards are bullshit anyway, it's just a small pool of voters from the industry picking stuff they like and you can get some pretty mediocre movies winning prizes because they're fine tuned to that voter pool's tastes. But I've only heard good things about Parasite and it's weird and cool that a foreign film managed to take Best Picture.

How many foreign films have won best picture?

e: oh Parasite is the first, cool

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

CaptainSarcastic posted:

Maybe the schad is on me, but I subscribe to the Washington Post for $6/month and it gives me full access, gives me another full account login I can give to someone else, and the ability to gift a one-month subscription to one person per month. It's the best cost/benefit I've seen for a media subscription in a long time.

You gave a WEBSITE... MONEY?! LOL you idiot!

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Captain Hygiene posted:

But my fur will get all wet and smelly :smith:

concerned about getting wet and smelly? lol guys get a load of Captain Hy...oh

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Dragonstoned posted:

Holy poo poo I feel sorry for those kids :smith:

Don't worry, that lady is dead!

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

LifeSunDeath posted:

The daughter died

What, really? Damnit I've been living a really sad lie :(

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

It's him. And trust me, you can saber a million loving bottles but it's still gonna gently caress up if every once in a while for what you think is no reason.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

His dogs name is Scabigail, so unless this uncanny doppelganger also adopted a dog that can go by "Scabs", it's Alton Brown.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Good news about the hotel flooder, guys! He wasn't trying to kill himself, just got super high.

https://tiremeetsroad.com/2020/04/07/man-jumps-from-flooded-hotel-floor-los-angeles-onto-nissan-murano-after-getting-high/

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

DRINK ME posted:

I did this at about age 13 and am still embarrassed at the memory of it. My basketball career was short lived, full of mistakes and only existed because all my friends like basketball.

One time the other team scored, the ball was thrown to me and I thought they meant for me to pass it in, so I walked the ball back over the line which confused everyone, angered my team and turned the ball over. I don’t think I got passed the ball too often after that despite still having to play out the season because my parents had paid for it.
:confused:

Awwww don't worry buddy, I've seen worse at the middle school I teach at. I love going to the C team games because they're just so inept. Lots of kids try to shoot at the wrong basked the first few weeks. One girl shot for like 3 minutes and no one tried to stop her. She's horrible so it never went in, but when she got back to the bench she was like "ohhhhh, that's why I was so open!"

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

The super old schadenfreude clips above make me wish someone would look up the grapes stomping lady for me and post that. She tried to cheat!

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Malachite_Dragon posted:

The only thing coming out of the woodwork is goons rushing in to go "MANGA BAD HURRRRRRR" like they always do, like it's still the 2000's.

Move on, ya goobers.

Manga readers don't like anything over a couple decades old I'm shocked.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Takes No Damage posted:

Almost feel bad for bike cops. They're some of the biggest douches because of the Napoleon complex but you just know they were imagining riding around in a squad car or at least one of those all-terrain Segways during academy training :(





Almost.

The bike cops I knew would much rather be on bikes. It takes a lot of specialized training, too.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

hawowanlawow posted:

remember back in May when rednecks hated the government?

sigh

fixed that for you

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

D. Ebdrup posted:

You know, I've never seen a swarth - so how can someone look swarthy?
According to the dictionary, it's someone who has skin?

You've problem seen someone that is "swart", though, because that means black (and not in a nice way, either).

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Platystemon posted:

Police departments have jurisdiction within a city, which for dumb reasons the legal boundaries of which can be much smaller than what you or I think of as a city.

Sheriffs have jurisdiction within counties, which are largeish fixed geographic areas that may included multiple cities or only a small portion of one city or no real cities at all.

Some simple folk have a romanticized view of sheriffs, but they mostly do the same things. The sheriff themselves is usually directly elected, as opposed to the city’s officials appointing a police chief, but a sheriff’s deputies are like any other officers.

Sheriffs also man non-privatized jails.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

I used to win state scholastic championships in chess and I still hold a master rating even though I haven't played competitively since I was 16. I started playing chess in adult tournaments and upsetting quite a few adults. I've never beaten a grandmaster, but I've only played a handful. I've beaten a LOT of masters and some international masters. I can see catching someone with a masters rating off guard, hell I did it as a 12 year old to an adult and he drat near flipped the table. But you'd have a better chance of pulling a gold brick out of your rear end than using a scholar's mate on a grandmaster.

That's my nerdy story.

Oh also I can't teach my kids to play chess because I just ruthlessly trounce them due to deep ingrained competitiveness when it comes to chess. Save me.

One time my coach slapped me because I offered a kid a draw in a round robin tournament when I was beating the crap out of him and he started to cry.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Oh also my first chess coach was a pedophile who abused kids on trips and I was invited to a few but never went. Then I moved to Colorado.

When we got caught he fled California.... To Colorado. Pretty sure he's in jail now though.

E: oh yeah he's in jail https://www.denverpost.com/2010/03/30/chess-master-sentenced-for-sex-assault-of-children/

Grem fucked around with this message at 05:09 on Jun 24, 2020

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Jeffrey Dahmer posted:

Im buying up big



I could only hold one hat at a time and decided it wasn't worth my time.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

If I'm making a pb&j I'm already at home

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates


This dude has had it for a long loving time. There's videos of him hacking up a storm that are over a month old.

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Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

FogHelmut posted:

Ideally the state should be dispensing justice and not the people with social justice, but we see where we are with the police right now.

How would they dispense for a small thing like this? A fine? So only the rich can feel entitled to act like an rear end?

If you are a fuckwit in public the public has every right to take care of you

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