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Play
Apr 25, 2006

So I roll with a rolling thunder
And I howl with the howling wind
And I drift downstream for as long as it takes
To get up and around the bend


it's like the olympics of deliberately setting the lowest possible expectations and then pre-emptively attacking anyone who isn't convinced by your bullshit lol

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Popete
Oct 6, 2009

This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs



Grimey Drawer

Glad someone came along to clear up that multiplayer means having multiple players in a game, good to know.

Viscous Soda
Apr 24, 2004



Dwesa posted:

it sells

I'm baffled by that too.

DarkDobe
Jul 11, 2008

Things are looking up...


Popete posted:

Glad someone came along to clear up that multiplayer means having multiple players in a game, good to know.

Players makes this sound like some kind of 'game'
Use the correct terminology

MultiCitizen Existence Simulation System
MESS

Or for more jargon sounding technological advancement:
Synchronous Multiuser Experience Generation Meshed Array

DarkDobe fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Jun 10, 2021

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable


Mr.Tophat posted:

$371,685,184

gently caress

gently caress

Imagine how many vitamins you could have for that.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

It's just a pledge bro!


Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

It's just a pledge bro!


Kosumo posted:

It has a built-in credit card reader.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



A jpeg with a scratching post.

For $225.

What a world.

L. Ron Hoover
Nov 9, 2009


Sarsapariller posted:

It's been about two weeks so HEY IT'S TIME FOR A NEW SPACESHIP



https://v.redd.it/ies51w9prg471/DASH_720.mp4

Citizens are going bananas, CIG has really nailed their target audience

At first I thought they were censoring the ship's gonads. maybe it's a living alien ship that will face the inevitable consequences of piracy

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development

The Titanic posted:

Imagine how many vitamins you could have for that.

I would be a very healthy boy indeed. I could buy all manner of coloured pills. Fred Flintstone would give me his finest pills for decades and I would still have enough change to ensure that my sexual performance was that of a titan. I could ensure that I had enough iron to cast into terrible shapes as I pose about my mansion. I could maintain my calcium levels forever so that I might articulate with robustness the framework to which my meat clings. I could ensure that eating spinach would be an overdose of minerals, no tin cans required, just the pills that would fill my larder and threaten to spill forth like so much blood from an elevator. Not a single deficency, everything I lack would be completed, all nourishment garnered from my riches of vitamins.

I think I could adjust to such a lifestyle. I best write a book so that these things can be realised. You have given me a taste of what could be The Titanic. I am grateful, for I have a dream to acquire, and with it, so shall I be as successful as Chris Roberts in all his possible nutrient furnishings.

I'm glad of it.

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

It would be a sad error in judgement to mistake me for a corpse.


Clapping Larry

peter gabriel posted:

In the full video of this, the totally live, real and emergent gameplay glitched and reset and ran again in exactly the same way
then the camera went into space
and the worm spat on the character, so the visor was suddenly wet
then it crashed
It was 100% pre canned.
Then poo poo canned.

Lammasu
May 8, 2019

lawful Good Monster


Viscous Soda posted:

I'd settle for deer that were smart enough not to run into our cars.

We released like a million genetically engineered mosquitos in the Florida Keys. Why can't we do the same with deer.

cmdrk
Jun 10, 2013


Sarsapariller posted:

Carrying cargo, of course! And don't you dumb fuckin' nerds worry, we put a kitchen, bathroom, and a scratching wall in this one!



wtf

E: $225 which in star citizen terms is almost a normal price

That's quite the spacious shitter room.
it also has an undocumented baby changing station for human and x'ian larvae.

Time_pants
Jun 25, 2012

Now sauntering to the ring, please welcome the lackadaisical style of the man who is always doing something...



Khanstant posted:

if this video were longer, would this sandworm just be stuck in place, wobbling itself in a little circle? At first it looks like it's going to attack or do... something, but once the camera pans out it seems like the sandworm is just going to go for another wiggle loop, like a little spinning hotdog flopping out of the sand.

What an apt metaphor for Star Citizen: the flapping of a paralyzed sandworm.

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

It would be a sad error in judgement to mistake me for a corpse.


Clapping Larry

cmdrk posted:

That's quite the spacious shitter room.
it also has an undocumented baby changing station for human and x'ian larvae.

I'll have you know the brochure says efficiently AND discreetly.

The poop flushes itself quietly... in a dark, unlit corner. Lust on its mind.

UnknownTarget
Sep 5, 2019



Sarsapariller posted:

It's been about two weeks so HEY IT'S TIME FOR A NEW SPACESHIP



https://v.redd.it/ies51w9prg471/DASH_720.mp4

Citizens are going bananas, CIG has really nailed their target audience

Alright I'll ask; what's with the triangles?? Are they censoring some naughty sheet metal action? What is Chris thinking about these days???

.random
May 7, 2007



Mr.Tophat posted:

I wake up to a terrible pain. I rub my jaw and feel a dull ache emanate from the right side of my natural hinge. Curious, I think, I only recently went to the dentist. He must have missed something. Probably all that small talk he was making with the assistant. Green eyes distracts some. Not me. I sat in that dentist chair, vulnerable to his scraping and prodding. All sharp implements to detect flaws. And so recently I had been told there was nothing wrong with my extending bones.

Still, I am left with a pain. I pour a cup of salt into another cup of water and swirl. I spit it out, and I see the red twinge of blood. The pain grows as I look at the basin so marked with hints that something is deeply wrong. I dry my mouth with a towel and consider my options. What might dull this malady?

I know just what to do.

I hop onto my computer, my hand still rubbing my mouth as the pain spreads. I look at the new funding tracker for the glorious Star Citizen. I see a new ship, I see how it articulates it's purpose and I grin. Another stab of pain as it spreads further across my face. I make a few well placed clicks to assume my role of captain of this fine vessel. Only $225. Bargain.

Everything is fine. Everything will work out. I lean back in my chair and try to forget the state of things. I open my jaw to yawn.

My monitor becomes sprayed with thick blood as my jaw unhinges and tears itself free from my skeleton and the image of the latest ship becomes shaded with my own redness. The pain overwhelming. I debate calling a doctor. But instead, I pledge for another vessel. I can't afford a doctor and Chris can't afford me not to back his dream.

As I recoil from my own ejection of liquids I have a piercing thought that makes me forget all that is wrong with me. I think that Chris must be let known how appealing a blood red skin for my new vessel would be. I reach for the mouse to make a forum post, and as I do, another spray of blood forces itself from me. I look up the ceiling and send blood flying from my gaping maw as I turn my gaze upwards to my ceiling fan. The blades whir and it begins to rain.

Fool that I am, I am certain Chris will give me everything I desire, there's no need to guide him. He knows what he's doing. He knows how to make us fans happy. A skin will come in due time I think as my jaw clatters to the ground and darkness steal me away from conscious thought.

Peak Tophat.

But “I reach for the mouse to make a forum post” lol if you think they don’t navigate Spectrum using their $900 8-piece HOTAS setup.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable


Lammasu posted:

The entire Sandi situation is one of the weirdest things in a company dominated by weird things. She's MIA for a year then suddenly starts posting about Star Citizen again. Like the only thing that would make sense is that she had a baby but why keep quite about that?

Every so often you want to play with the money tree that made you hugely wealthy far beyond your means.

But you don't want to get too close to it because video games are dumb and not cool.

It's also nice to to remind people how important you are because you don't actually know what being important or being a leader means.

Kosumo
Apr 9, 2016



Viscous Soda posted:

I have to give CIG credit, they are truly cutting edge at making stupid looking space ship JPGS. About 80% of the time their new designs leave me baffled, and this one goes above and beyond.

Seriously, why does it need to transform? What does it's transformation even do? Nothing about it makes sense.

Dumbie; don't you know that when it autobot transforms that it weighs more, therefore now punch even higher due to it's weight increasing.

If you move gravity goo around your ship in the right way, the ship becomes even more awesome.

Simple fact.

Stop the FUD.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable



Wow this is some serious wing commander 1 vibes. This dude did an amazing job recapturing it... it even looks like 3D models that he has shift like the old sprites did. Pretty impressive work.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable


Sarsapariller posted:

It's been about two weeks so HEY IT'S TIME FOR A NEW SPACESHIP



https://v.redd.it/ies51w9prg471/DASH_720.mp4

Citizens are going bananas, CIG has really nailed their target audience

Yaaayyy!!!!

*looks at it*

*looks at it more*

What... what am I looking at? Is it like a Gundam knee joint or something? What is it supposed to be????

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable


Mr.Tophat posted:

I would be a very healthy boy indeed. I could buy all manner of coloured pills. Fred Flintstone would give me his finest pills for decades and I would still have enough change to ensure that my sexual performance was that of a titan. I could ensure that I had enough iron to cast into terrible shapes as I pose about my mansion. I could maintain my calcium levels forever so that I might articulate with robustness the framework to which my meat clings. I could ensure that eating spinach would be an overdose of minerals, no tin cans required, just the pills that would fill my larder and threaten to spill forth like so much blood from an elevator. Not a single deficency, everything I lack would be completed, all nourishment garnered from my riches of vitamins.

I think I could adjust to such a lifestyle. I best write a book so that these things can be realised. You have given me a taste of what could be The Titanic. I am grateful, for I have a dream to acquire, and with it, so shall I be as successful as Chris Roberts in all his possible nutrient furnishings.

I'm glad of it.

I'm also glad of it.

It looks like you are ready to start rubbing your nose and very eagerly hunting for that next great mineral fix you can partake in.

Just thinking about how it makes my fingers tingle with anticipation.

Lammasu
May 8, 2019

lawful Good Monster


Do they still develop concept ships that aren't actually implemented and are just jpegs still or is all the new stuff actual ships?

Super Foul Egg
Oct 5, 2005
Don't take me for an ordinary man



It's a Tristan made out of four Wipeout racing ships. A combination sure to punch above its weight, even before it turns into a giant fist for no reason.

Abongination
Aug 18, 2010

Life, it's the shit that happens while you're waiting for moments that never come.


Pillbug

You know what every spaceship needs? Tons of open wasted space, high ceilings, executive bathrooms etc.

Bear Is Driving
Mar 30, 2003




It's a StarViper and it folds up because a StarViper also folds up. If it were anyone other than CIG I might say it was a coincidence. Here it is definitely another Star Wars ripoff considering their last jpeg is just an X-Wing lol.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

It's just a pledge bro!


Bear Is Driving posted:

It's a StarViper and it folds up because a StarViper also folds up. If it were anyone other than CIG I might say it was a coincidence. Here it is definitely another Star Wars ripoff considering their last jpeg is just an X-Wing lol.

By
Ryan
Archer

Kesper North
Nov 3, 2011

EMERGENCY POWER TO PARTY

Abongination posted:

You know what every spaceship needs? Tons of open wasted space, high ceilings, executive bathrooms etc.

You can't punch above your weight if there's nowhere to ~mark your territory~ I guess

Sarsapariller
Aug 14, 2015

Occasional vampire queen


Lammasu posted:

Do they still develop concept ships that aren't actually implemented and are just jpegs still or is all the new stuff actual ships?

Not only is this ship a totally undeveloped concept, it's another alien race, which means:

* New design philosophy for the ship to distinguish it from all the others
* New textures
* New geometry for a new set of doors/buttons/ramps/screens
* New HUD animations
* New voice lines for the alert system

etc etc etc.

Just absolute mountains of technical debt for... another cargo ship. Like, the 15th cargo ship. It's not even a big one- it is basically about the same size as all the other midsize freighters.

Kosumo
Apr 9, 2016



Sarsapariller posted:

Not only is this ship a totally undeveloped concept, it's another alien race, which means:

* New design philosophy for the ship to distinguish it from all the others
* New textures
* New geometry for a new set of doors/buttons/ramps/screens
* New HUD animations
* New voice lines for the alert system

etc etc etc.

Just absolute mountains of technical debt for... another cargo ship. Like, the 15th cargo ship. It's not even a big one- it is basically about the same size as all the other midsize freighters.


Four more reworks after it is finally flyable in game.



Star Citizen: A Game by Chris Roberts, For Chris Roberts*



* Sandi Gardiner and other parts of Chris Roberts family included.**


** Game*** may involve sports cars, mansions, paying to spend time with Hollywood actors and cocaine.


*** Game not included.

Trilobite
Aug 15, 2001


The Titanic posted:

Every so often you want to play with the money tree that made you hugely wealthy far beyond your means.

But you don't want to get too close to it because video games are dumb and not cool.

It's also nice to to remind people how important you are because you don't actually know what being important or being a leader means.

Maybe she negotiated some kind of bonus where she gets paid a little extra money if she posts about Star Citizen, thus reminding whales of the good times they had years ago when CIG still pretended to give a poo poo about them, and making her sinecure "Board Member" job a little bit more lucrative. I mean, I'm sure she's getting paid at least as much as she did when she was VP in charge of Marketing just to show up to a few meetings a year now, but CIG always provides a way to squeeze a few more dollars into the family account, right?


edit: alternately, she "casually" asked someone at CIG about whether the fans had said anything about her conspicuous absence and was told, "Uh, no, actually, nobody's mentioned your name. Let me run a search....yup, nobody at all." That's probably the only thing that would get her posting about Star Citizen again faster than paying her to do it.

Trilobite fucked around with this message at 05:28 on Jun 11, 2021

Lord Stimperor
Jun 13, 2018

I'm a lovable meme.



Mr.Tophat posted:

$371,685,184

gently caress

gently caress

Rose to 372M by the time I'm quoting your post. That's without external investments and tax rabates. I believe the investments totalled another 40M. The thread accountant probably knows exactly how much tax credits they received. So, the next milestone is half a billion. They may reach that within a year, which means they're on their way to Theranos levels.

Lord Stimperor
Jun 13, 2018

I'm a lovable meme.



Lammasu posted:

The entire Sandi situation is one of the weirdest things in a company dominated by weird things. She's MIA for a year then suddenly starts posting about Star Citizen again. Like the only thing that would make sense is that she had a baby but why keep quite about that?

Those posts have a serious buried-in-the-backyard vibe

skeletors_condom
Jul 21, 2017



The store citizens are going nuts over the new JPEG, who would have thought?



Although some citizens are not convinced:



Wife is going to have to pick another JPEG.



This is Star Citizen! We don't do no magic storage pods with non-physicalized cargo handwavium.

skeletors_condom fucked around with this message at 08:58 on Jun 11, 2021

Shazback
Jan 26, 2013


skeletors_condom posted:

This is Star Citizen! We don't do no magic storage pods with non-physicalized cargo handwavium.

... He said, balancing on one of the smaller hills of broken promises swept under the rug by CIG.

Dwesa
Jul 19, 2016

they hummed of mystery


Over 500k USD in the first day from just the whales, looks like we love the Railen!

lobsterminator
Oct 16, 2012






skeletors_condom posted:

The store citizen are going nuts over the new JPEG, who would have thought?



This is Star Citizen! We don't do no magic storage pods with non-physicalized cargo handwavium.

Having all cargo ships be rectangles with shields would also result in Star Citizens' worst nightmare: consistent visual style.

Each ship needs to look like they are from a different IP. And they need to punch above their weight class.

FishMcCool
Apr 9, 2021


Fallen Rib

quote:

I was so looking forward to this ship, it is even my b-day so the wife would have been like sure get one

I can hear the sigh and "Yes, sure, whatever..." from here.

shrach
Jan 9, 2004

daylight ssssaving time

Lord Stimperor posted:

Rose to 372M by the time I'm quoting your post. That's without external investments and tax rabates. I believe the investments totalled another 40M. The thread accountant probably knows exactly how much tax credits they received. So, the next milestone is half a billion. They may reach that within a year, which means they're on their way to Theranos levels.

Yeah, they crossed half a billion dollars funds raised in the last couple months. They wouldn't have actually received into their bank the most recent tax credits yet, but there's enough of a buffer to still say it with certainty.

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skeletors_condom
Jul 21, 2017



shrach posted:

Yeah, they crossed half a billion dollars funds raised in the last couple months. They wouldn't have actually received into their bank the most recent tax credits yet, but there's enough of a buffer to still say it with certainty.



Crobear got almost $55 M in "government pledges" and they didn't even have to give the authorities any JPEGs.

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