Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«14 »
  • Post
  • Reply
FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011


Lunchmeat Larry posted:

had a dream they announced Darksiders 3 DLC and the pitch was "you've fought the 7 deadly sins... now face the 8th... the Goatse man!" and I remembered I was a consultant on this and was really proud of myself.

Unfortunately, everyone hated it, and I had to lock down my Twitter because the trolls and haters immediately started calling me a "2004 rear end honky" and "crude shock value that has destroyed the Darksiders lore forever".

I left the computer to calm down and there was a gang of bikers coming to kill me for turning Darksiders into a joke, because it's an extremely popular franchise with biker gangs and they take it extremely seriously. Thankfully the four riders of the apocalypse came and rescued me in their sick motorbikes and we escaped from the bikers while I hit them with a giant glowing scythe.

I've never played a Darksiders game.
Cool dream

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF FLOWER I'D BE A BIG ANGRY COCK

not as cool as Darksiders 3.

The Milkman
Jun 22, 2003

No one here is alone,
satellites in every home


Lipstick Apathy

trying to jack off posted:

after all these years we finally have the name of the man

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011


Lunchmeat Larry posted:

not as cool as Darksiders 3.
I dunno. The goatse DLC kinda ruined the series for me.

Wormskull
Aug 23, 2009



2004 rear end Honkey.

net cafe scandal
Mar 18, 2011



Lunchmeat Larry posted:

had a dream they announced Darksiders 3 DLC and the pitch was "you've fought the 7 deadly sins... now face the 8th... the Goatse man!" and I remembered I was a consultant on this and was really proud of myself.

Unfortunately, everyone hated it, and I had to lock down my Twitter because the trolls and haters immediately started calling me a "2004 rear end honky" and "crude shock value that has destroyed the Darksiders lore forever".

I left the computer to calm down and there was a gang of bikers coming to kill me for turning Darksiders into a joke, because it's an extremely popular franchise with biker gangs and they take it extremely seriously. Thankfully the four riders of the apocalypse came and rescued me in their sick motorbikes and we escaped from the bikers while I hit them with a giant glowing scythe.

I've never played a Darksiders game.

You have a beautiful mind dude

Knuc U Kinte
Aug 17, 2004



I had a dream that I was getting tired of how dead this forum is so I went looking for offsites and I found one like badgame, but it was a 3D world that you could walk around in and everyone looked like their avatar. Larry Parrish was there but his eggplant avatar had become 3D and from the front on it looked like a boar villager from animal crossing with his eggplant as a big tail.

Wormskull
Aug 23, 2009



Knuc U Kinte posted:

I had a dream that I was getting tired of how dead this forum is so I went looking for offsites and I found one like badgame, but it was a 3D world that you could walk around in and everyone looked like their avatar. Larry Parrish was there but his eggplant avatar had become 3D and from the front on it looked like a boar villager from animal crossing with his eggplant as a big tail.

You shoved the egg plant tail up your arse.

Knuc U Kinte
Aug 17, 2004



Wormskull posted:

You shoved the egg plant tail up your arse.

Oh wow. That would hurt.

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

You can't take it with you, you know.


net cafe scandal posted:

Slightly fearful chuckle at the notion of every Imps deranged gamer dreams originating from Bicyclops unending comatic nightmare, like a slumbering Old One.

wuh. wunnn. wunnnnnnnnn. one gayummmmm....

One game??

One........... game........... more.....??????

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

Keep on jammin'


Bicyclops posted:

wuh. wunnn. wunnnnnnnnn. one gayummmmm....

One game??

One........... game........... more.....??????

What the

American McGay
Feb 28, 2010



Bicyclops posted:

wuh. wunnn. wunnnnnnnnn. one gayummmmm....

One game??

One........... game........... more.....??????
oh my god

Regy Rusty
Apr 26, 2010



Grimey Drawer

What??!?

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009






Buglord

good god

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007



Bicyclops posted:

wuh. wunnn. wunnnnnnnnn. one gayummmmm....

One game??

One........... game........... more.....??????

In Training
Jun 28, 2008



Lmfao

Sex Tragedy
Jan 28, 2007

father of three with an extra large butt

glad to see you're alive

amenbrotep
Jul 31, 2013



no..

heeheex2
Sep 5, 2012

Go Cats

holy poo poo god is real

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

You can't take it with you, you know.


i'm sorry people thought i was dead. i honestly didn't know until like november and once i saw this thread, i realized i had to come back with Skyrimmiserables, but i had no experience with audio recording or video editing software and i don't have a lot of free time, so.

anyway, to ruin the mystery, i took a break from the forums because after my bad fever, a bunch of hosed up stuff happened that seems like too much of a downer to post about, and because of that i didn't have time for video games, which is what i mostly enjoy posting about, so i took a break from the forums. things worked out okay, life is pretty great for me right now. my wife is good, and she didnt even cut my balls off for drunkenly singing the words "godd howard" loudly into a headset mic like seven times in a row. my son is hitting all his milestones, we have another baby on the way, my job is good except for the coronavirus poo poo, everything is ocming up milhouse. i told myself i could download the FF7 demo if i came back to posting, so i'll probably do that tomorrow. things are really good.

i still have extremely weird, hosed up nightmares basically every night. i wrote down the two i remembered that had to with video games.

elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

It's not a dream, or a lie.
I know my sister is alive out there.


thank you for living

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

Keep on jammin'


*suddenly filled with the very real worry that maybe it's not exactly that Bicyclops is back, per se*

Hey, uh, good to see you again. Do you remember what happened to me after that accident I was in on the 401?

heeheex2
Sep 5, 2012

Go Cats

every time i read it as children of mortadella

Caithness
Nov 10, 2012

HEY!!!
YOU CAN SEE ME, CAN'T YOU? THEN WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME!?

Praise the lord

The Milkman
Jun 22, 2003

No one here is alone,
satellites in every home


Lipstick Apathy

Bicyclops posted:

wuh. wunnn. wunnnnnnnnn. one gayummmmm....

One game??

One........... game........... more.....??????

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

You can't take it with you, you know.


i can't sleep, so here's a dream for the road:

in the dream, my boss had a trip planned to travel to India to perform audits, but he wanted a big, serious staff meeting followed by a fun office outing before he left. we ended up booking this place that had mario kart like races and everyone was having a great time, but then he pulled me aside and said "i have to print my passport, but i can't do it on these computers. i really really need my passport." my boss is Irish but he's lived in the US for longer than i've been alive, so he has a light brogue, but in my dream, he sounded exactly like Sean Astin doing Samwise. i went to try to print his passport, but the computer terminal had three "gamer keyboards" that were all really hard to use. one of them was a tiny keyboard where all the keys were dice you had to spin and press one of the six sides, one of them was this huge mechanical keyboard that seemed to take minutes to respond to a keypress, and one, no matter which key you pressed, just seemed to make sound effects from the creatures from Spore.

i was frantically trying to print his passport from our company's share drive, but there was some kind of spyware on the computer that made it so every couple of minutes, a pop-up window with one of the old LucasArts games would interrupt, usually Monkey Island. my boss was frantic, and in his Samwise voice said "What am i supposed to do here, level myself up into business class on Emirates?" i was close to crying, trying to find a way to print the passport, when suddenly he winked at me and said "oh, that's alright then, let me have a go." then flipped up the dice keyboard like a pro, like a loving magician, fired up Starcraft, and suddenly started using a bunch of very specific Starcraft terms at me.

i've never actually played Starcraft, but in the dream, i recognized all the weird jargon enough to know that he was secretly a Starcraft pro. one of the other people at my company, who works in communications, was desperately trying to get me to make my boss understand that his trip to india was actually important, that we could lose two of our offices if he didn't conduct his audit, but i was totally enraptured by my Irish boss casually owning people at Starcraft and incidentally solving Lucasarts games puzzles on the side, with a weird dice keyboard. my co-workers were zipping by on go carts giving my boss the thumbs up and yelling dream-invented starcraft phrases at him, like "whoa, space perk 7, boss!" while the one responsible employee was finally crying and begging me to reason with my boss. "he'll listen to you," she said. "he heard your final fantasy story." (i don't know what this was, but in the dream, i did)

i had to talk my boss off of his gaming habit, and when i got through to him, he looked at me like i'd killed his dog. "fine," he said. "let's get that passport printed, then." i was frantically trying to work the keyboards to print his passport, and finally asked for his help, but he just shook his head, looking dejectedly at the go karts of his employees as they zinged past, and said "i just don't care. i just don't care anymore."

heeheex2
Sep 5, 2012

Go Cats

lmfao jesus christ

The Clowner
Apr 20, 2019

I see past the sham that is society, and I'm into some incredibly fucked up shit.

thanks for posting, bicyclops. I think I speak for everyone here when I say we're all very happy to see you're alive.

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007



Bicyclops posted:

i can't sleep, so here's a dream for the road:

in the dream, my boss had a trip planned to travel to India to perform audits, but he wanted a big, serious staff meeting followed by a fun office outing before he left. we ended up booking this place that had mario kart like races and everyone was having a great time, but then he pulled me aside and said "i have to print my passport, but i can't do it on these computers. i really really need my passport." my boss is Irish but he's lived in the US for longer than i've been alive, so he has a light brogue, but in my dream, he sounded exactly like Sean Astin doing Samwise. i went to try to print his passport, but the computer terminal had three "gamer keyboards" that were all really hard to use. one of them was a tiny keyboard where all the keys were dice you had to spin and press one of the six sides, one of them was this huge mechanical keyboard that seemed to take minutes to respond to a keypress, and one, no matter which key you pressed, just seemed to make sound effects from the creatures from Spore.

i was frantically trying to print his passport from our company's share drive, but there was some kind of spyware on the computer that made it so every couple of minutes, a pop-up window with one of the old LucasArts games would interrupt, usually Monkey Island. my boss was frantic, and in his Samwise voice said "What am i supposed to do here, level myself up into business class on Emirates?" i was close to crying, trying to find a way to print the passport, when suddenly he winked at me and said "oh, that's alright then, let me have a go." then flipped up the dice keyboard like a pro, like a loving magician, fired up Starcraft, and suddenly started using a bunch of very specific Starcraft terms at me.

i've never actually played Starcraft, but in the dream, i recognized all the weird jargon enough to know that he was secretly a Starcraft pro. one of the other people at my company, who works in communications, was desperately trying to get me to make my boss understand that his trip to india was actually important, that we could lose two of our offices if he didn't conduct his audit, but i was totally enraptured by my Irish boss casually owning people at Starcraft and incidentally solving Lucasarts games puzzles on the side, with a weird dice keyboard. my co-workers were zipping by on go carts giving my boss the thumbs up and yelling dream-invented starcraft phrases at him, like "whoa, space perk 7, boss!" while the one responsible employee was finally crying and begging me to reason with my boss. "he'll listen to you," she said. "he heard your final fantasy story." (i don't know what this was, but in the dream, i did)

i had to talk my boss off of his gaming habit, and when i got through to him, he looked at me like i'd killed his dog. "fine," he said. "let's get that passport printed, then." i was frantically trying to work the keyboards to print his passport, and finally asked for his help, but he just shook his head, looking dejectedly at the go karts of his employees as they zinged past, and said "i just don't care. i just don't care anymore."

thank you

American McGay
Feb 28, 2010



Bicyclops posted:

i was totally enraptured by my Irish boss casually owning people at Starcraft and incidentally solving Lucasarts games puzzles on the side, with a weird dice keyboard. my co-workers were zipping by on go carts giving my boss the thumbs up and yelling dream-invented starcraft phrases at him, like "whoa, space perk 7, boss!"
Welcome home.

Bolverkur
Aug 9, 2012



Bicyclops posted:

i can't sleep, so here's a dream for the road:

in the dream, my boss had a trip planned to travel to India to perform audits, but he wanted a big, serious staff meeting followed by a fun office outing before he left. we ended up booking this place that had mario kart like races and everyone was having a great time, but then he pulled me aside and said "i have to print my passport, but i can't do it on these computers. i really really need my passport." my boss is Irish but he's lived in the US for longer than i've been alive, so he has a light brogue, but in my dream, he sounded exactly like Sean Astin doing Samwise. i went to try to print his passport, but the computer terminal had three "gamer keyboards" that were all really hard to use. one of them was a tiny keyboard where all the keys were dice you had to spin and press one of the six sides, one of them was this huge mechanical keyboard that seemed to take minutes to respond to a keypress, and one, no matter which key you pressed, just seemed to make sound effects from the creatures from Spore.

i was frantically trying to print his passport from our company's share drive, but there was some kind of spyware on the computer that made it so every couple of minutes, a pop-up window with one of the old LucasArts games would interrupt, usually Monkey Island. my boss was frantic, and in his Samwise voice said "What am i supposed to do here, level myself up into business class on Emirates?" i was close to crying, trying to find a way to print the passport, when suddenly he winked at me and said "oh, that's alright then, let me have a go." then flipped up the dice keyboard like a pro, like a loving magician, fired up Starcraft, and suddenly started using a bunch of very specific Starcraft terms at me.

i've never actually played Starcraft, but in the dream, i recognized all the weird jargon enough to know that he was secretly a Starcraft pro. one of the other people at my company, who works in communications, was desperately trying to get me to make my boss understand that his trip to india was actually important, that we could lose two of our offices if he didn't conduct his audit, but i was totally enraptured by my Irish boss casually owning people at Starcraft and incidentally solving Lucasarts games puzzles on the side, with a weird dice keyboard. my co-workers were zipping by on go carts giving my boss the thumbs up and yelling dream-invented starcraft phrases at him, like "whoa, space perk 7, boss!" while the one responsible employee was finally crying and begging me to reason with my boss. "he'll listen to you," she said. "he heard your final fantasy story." (i don't know what this was, but in the dream, i did)

i had to talk my boss off of his gaming habit, and when i got through to him, he looked at me like i'd killed his dog. "fine," he said. "let's get that passport printed, then." i was frantically trying to work the keyboards to print his passport, and finally asked for his help, but he just shook his head, looking dejectedly at the go karts of his employees as they zinged past, and said "i just don't care. i just don't care anymore."

reading this listening to one more game crying like in interstellar

herculon
Sep 7, 2018



Order has been restored

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009






Buglord

herculon posted:

Order has been restored

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002



Oh my god.

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002



Welcome back king.

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

Keep on jammin'


Bicyclops posted:

i can't sleep, so here's a dream for the road:

in the dream, my boss had a trip planned to travel to India to perform audits, but he wanted a big, serious staff meeting followed by a fun office outing before he left. we ended up booking this place that had mario kart like races and everyone was having a great time, but then he pulled me aside and said "i have to print my passport, but i can't do it on these computers. i really really need my passport." my boss is Irish but he's lived in the US for longer than i've been alive, so he has a light brogue, but in my dream, he sounded exactly like Sean Astin doing Samwise. i went to try to print his passport, but the computer terminal had three "gamer keyboards" that were all really hard to use. one of them was a tiny keyboard where all the keys were dice you had to spin and press one of the six sides, one of them was this huge mechanical keyboard that seemed to take minutes to respond to a keypress, and one, no matter which key you pressed, just seemed to make sound effects from the creatures from Spore.

i was frantically trying to print his passport from our company's share drive, but there was some kind of spyware on the computer that made it so every couple of minutes, a pop-up window with one of the old LucasArts games would interrupt, usually Monkey Island. my boss was frantic, and in his Samwise voice said "What am i supposed to do here, level myself up into business class on Emirates?" i was close to crying, trying to find a way to print the passport, when suddenly he winked at me and said "oh, that's alright then, let me have a go." then flipped up the dice keyboard like a pro, like a loving magician, fired up Starcraft, and suddenly started using a bunch of very specific Starcraft terms at me.

i've never actually played Starcraft, but in the dream, i recognized all the weird jargon enough to know that he was secretly a Starcraft pro. one of the other people at my company, who works in communications, was desperately trying to get me to make my boss understand that his trip to india was actually important, that we could lose two of our offices if he didn't conduct his audit, but i was totally enraptured by my Irish boss casually owning people at Starcraft and incidentally solving Lucasarts games puzzles on the side, with a weird dice keyboard. my co-workers were zipping by on go carts giving my boss the thumbs up and yelling dream-invented starcraft phrases at him, like "whoa, space perk 7, boss!" while the one responsible employee was finally crying and begging me to reason with my boss. "he'll listen to you," she said. "he heard your final fantasy story." (i don't know what this was, but in the dream, i did)

i had to talk my boss off of his gaming habit, and when i got through to him, he looked at me like i'd killed his dog. "fine," he said. "let's get that passport printed, then." i was frantically trying to work the keyboards to print his passport, and finally asked for his help, but he just shook his head, looking dejectedly at the go karts of his employees as they zinged past, and said "i just don't care. i just don't care anymore."

In Training
Jun 28, 2008



Bolverkur posted:

reading this listening to one more game crying like in interstellar

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011


Bicyclops posted:

i can't sleep, so here's a dream for the road:

in the dream, my boss had a trip planned to travel to India to perform audits, but he wanted a big, serious staff meeting followed by a fun office outing before he left. we ended up booking this place that had mario kart like races and everyone was having a great time, but then he pulled me aside and said "i have to print my passport, but i can't do it on these computers. i really really need my passport." my boss is Irish but he's lived in the US for longer than i've been alive, so he has a light brogue, but in my dream, he sounded exactly like Sean Astin doing Samwise. i went to try to print his passport, but the computer terminal had three "gamer keyboards" that were all really hard to use. one of them was a tiny keyboard where all the keys were dice you had to spin and press one of the six sides, one of them was this huge mechanical keyboard that seemed to take minutes to respond to a keypress, and one, no matter which key you pressed, just seemed to make sound effects from the creatures from Spore.

i was frantically trying to print his passport from our company's share drive, but there was some kind of spyware on the computer that made it so every couple of minutes, a pop-up window with one of the old LucasArts games would interrupt, usually Monkey Island. my boss was frantic, and in his Samwise voice said "What am i supposed to do here, level myself up into business class on Emirates?" i was close to crying, trying to find a way to print the passport, when suddenly he winked at me and said "oh, that's alright then, let me have a go." then flipped up the dice keyboard like a pro, like a loving magician, fired up Starcraft, and suddenly started using a bunch of very specific Starcraft terms at me.

i've never actually played Starcraft, but in the dream, i recognized all the weird jargon enough to know that he was secretly a Starcraft pro. one of the other people at my company, who works in communications, was desperately trying to get me to make my boss understand that his trip to india was actually important, that we could lose two of our offices if he didn't conduct his audit, but i was totally enraptured by my Irish boss casually owning people at Starcraft and incidentally solving Lucasarts games puzzles on the side, with a weird dice keyboard. my co-workers were zipping by on go carts giving my boss the thumbs up and yelling dream-invented starcraft phrases at him, like "whoa, space perk 7, boss!" while the one responsible employee was finally crying and begging me to reason with my boss. "he'll listen to you," she said. "he heard your final fantasy story." (i don't know what this was, but in the dream, i did)

i had to talk my boss off of his gaming habit, and when i got through to him, he looked at me like i'd killed his dog. "fine," he said. "let's get that passport printed, then." i was frantically trying to work the keyboards to print his passport, and finally asked for his help, but he just shook his head, looking dejectedly at the go karts of his employees as they zinged past, and said "i just don't care. i just don't care anymore."

net cafe scandal
Mar 18, 2011



In awe

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

net cafe scandal
Mar 18, 2011



Pablo Nergigante posted:

Welcome back king.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«14 »