Knuc U Kinte posted:

I've been playing CK3 and I had this dream that I was in a forest with my bodyguards who were trying to train me by having me scoop viscous oil out of a sinking boat in the middle of a pond. The bucket seemingly never filled, which was horrifying because I felt the threat of drowning was real. I had the bucket almost filled and my guards were cheering me like "well done sir" "you filled up the bucket sir" which felt really good to hear when this blood curdling scream destroyed the entire dream world and I woke up to my wife mumbling "snake attack me" over and over

Jenny Agutter posted:

italian attack me

Fungah! posted:

thank you for your service

EmmyOk posted:

Dreamt I lost my right arm in a freak buzzsaw accident when reading the latest chapter of One Piece. Posted on the Imp Zone asking if there were any good controllers for disabled gamers and everyone just kept responding "why not use the one you always use lol" for pages.

ol yeller posted:

Dreamed that I was trying to raise a Digimon in the old ps1 game but no matter what I did, he would always evolve into a really fat guy in a wife beater who drank soda and farted until he died. I eventually got so mad that I was going to take my game back for a refund and when I got to the store the clerk was the really fat guy from the game and he asked if I was coming back to buy more copies of the greatest game of the year. I didn't want things to get awkward so I bought 2 more copies "for friends and family"

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

I had a dream I was moving paintings from my parents' house and remembered that I had a life sized 7' painting of Drizzt from Baldur's Gate 2 from when I went through my Baldur's Gate obsessive phase (I did not have this phase). I was so embarassed for him my dad to see it that I hurriedly downloaded and printed out a photo of a big juicy rear end and pasted it over Drizzt's face, telling my dad that the painting was of "rear end man", a popular parody character from Discworld.

My dad was really annoyed and was like "I don't know who rear end man is, that looks terrible, you scraped it all down my car while gluing the rear end to his face, what is wrong with you" so I panicked and pasted the big rear end over Drizzt's crotch instead, saying proudly "actually it's backwards rear end man, the man with his rear end on backwards" so my dad ran me over with his car.

Sub-Actuality posted:

symbolic posted:

well this was bound to happen

Sub-Actuality posted:

see that bratwurst? you can climb it

absolutely anything posted:

had a dream that a clip got unearthed of jackie gleason on the set of the honeymooners saying “do you think alligators go ‘ONK’? just a big fat ‘ONK’ out of an alligator, that’s the noise they make?”. the onk was a pitch perfect replica of the noise kremlings make when they die in donkey kong country and there was a big controversy that rare stole it from him

Sub-Actuality posted:

dreamed I was taking a philosophy class & the professor said the final exam was going to be beating the shareware episode of Doom on nightmare difficulty without attacking anything or touching any powerups. The students started to protest that it was impossible, and he got really angry and yelled “this was how Immanuel Kant played Doom!!” and I woke up.

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Lol but also there were six mainline Keen games so I’m calling shenanigans on that dream.

Bicyclops posted:

"this is BULLSHIT! this is nintendo hard!"

Sub-Actuality posted:

dreamt I had been hired to drive Peter Molyneux around on a tour to give staged TED talk style speeches to huge crowds about games he was working on, where the "audience" was actually just a bunch of cardboard cutouts and some cassette players looping excited crowd noises and the occasional whoop/cheer that I had set up beforehand. After each speech I had to put on a disguise and "interview" him as a different game journalist, and pretend to be intrigued and take notes. it wasn't clear whether I had been hired to do this by an outside company or by Peter himself.

GorfZaplen posted:

I had a dream that Cliffy B announced a new game over a small zoom call called EXTREME RAPPELING, where you played as dudes with giant muscles rappelling up a building shooting at people coming down. When someone pointed out that you rappel down a building, not up, Cliffy B frowned for a second and ended the call.

Lobster Harmonica posted:

Dreamt a couple nights ago that they announced an origin story/prequel for the Hangover movie franchise called "The Hangover: Part 0" that had a more or less identical movie poster to the box art for Yakuza 0 and was similarly set in the 1980s etc. No one online was making the connection at all and anytime I'd try and point out the stuff it ripped off, everyone would just reply "how so?" and I got so frustrated it woke me up irl

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Last night I dreamed I was walking on the side of a highway and my walk cycle glitched out, I ended up sliding along the ground on my stomach with my arms and legs twisted in the air above me. The first thing I thought was “as a gamer, I accept this”

Bicyclops posted:

had a dream that shelley long and ted Danson joined my magic card group. shelley was very into the game and launched into Diane chambers-like monologues where she extolled the virtues of Group Hug decks and said that the name was unfairly belittling, that they should be called manipulative tactician decks. she seemed really nervous about Ted, who was pretty quiet and charming mostly.

suddenly ted clapped his hands really loudly and said "boy, is that a kamigawa card? boy, I love that set. Isn't it a great little block? it's based on japan, you ever been there? what I love about japan is that there are real artisans there, you know? they call them "arté," there, they make incredible crafts and stuff out of single ingredients." shelley started getting really nervous and doing the Diane laugh but ted kept going. "I met this one cookie chef, and he made the most incredible cookies out of a single ingredient."

then he slammed a bag of cocaine down on the table and said "the greatest cookies you have through your nose." shelley started crying and ted got this huge grin like michael from the good place and said "let's play some loving magic cards, kids."

one of my friends (he's one of the circus twins of bicyclops dream lore) went to town on the cocaine and ted was clapping his hands and laughing, like "alright!!! look at this guy, he knows a kamigawa commander when he sees one! real life vedalken orrery, am I right?"

shelley said "please, you have to stop this," and suddenly ted snarled and yelled "you should have stayed on cheers, bitch." then he looked right at me and said "you're next." I woke up before I could find out what I was next for.

albany academy posted:

dont really remember a whole lot of it but i was in a fallout: new vegas type map and at a quarry, accepted a quest from a mining company, opened my objectives and its just a huge list of fetch quests, "collect 10 small rocks", "collect 5 larger rocks" with little icons for each type of rock. i think i woke up right after scrolling through and seeing the list keep going and that the little scrollbar barely moved

Fungah! posted:

i dreamed i could see behind the scenes on the yakuza games and whnever you aren't playing as him kiryu is kind of a normal guy. he was part of a bowling league, he had kids that weren't haruka and was good friends with their teachers. whenever someone plays the games he's forced to act like a yakuza wherever he is. all his friends think he's acting like a huge spaz and he hates having to do it. after a while i could start to feel his animosity towards me for making him be a yakuza and i woke up covered in sweat and feeling like a jerk

Pablo Nergigante posted:

ol yeller posted:

Dreamed that I was working at digging ditches when a courier showed up with a letter for me. It was an invitation from Toadsworth summoning me to the castle in the Mushroom Kingdom. I was immediately rushed onto a plane where Brad Pitt and Kanye West were already sitting and smoking huge blunts. I took my seat and soon we were in the air. After a few minutes Kanye West went to the bathroom. He never came out. A few minutes later Brad Pitt said "Isn't this your stop?" and I looked out the window and there we were, right outside Peach's Castle. I didn't even notice us landing.

I stepped out the door and was hustled to my room. I was told that I had a roommate and it was none other than Bulma from DBZ. She told me that there was a mistake so we'd have to share a bed. I tried to play it cool, but she could tell I was flustered. She turned on the TV and it was a 9/11 retrospective, she got really sad thinking about all the lives lost on that fateful day. I comforted her as best I could but she said it was too distressing and she had to go home. Well, at least I'd have this bed to myself.

The next day I awoke to Toad telling me I was to meet Mario and Peach, and their kids. I went down to the front of the castle, across from the bridge. Mario and Peach came out, and then Mario blew a whistle and one by one, smaller and smaller mario's emerged. They would all line up, getting progressively smaller until there were 99 of them. Mario explained that this happened every time he got a 1UP. A new mario took the place of the old one. He also said not to worry too much, they're all basically braindead. I took his advice. He then told me he wanted to meet in his private chamber.

Marios chamber was as opulent as you could imagine, with busts of all the nintendo giants like miyamoto and iwata everywhere. He sat me down across from him at a huge desk, then he confided in me that he has a rare and fatal disease and that he needs a true heir to his throne. I began to say I wasn't worthy, but he cut me off to tell me that he wanted me to find his successor, and handed me a piece of paper with a picture of the entire smash roster. He pointed at a picture of Olimar and said "Start there" then I woke up.

GorfZaplen posted:

When I was a kid our family computer was taking like 25 minutes to boot up and this really upset me because obviously I wanted to play videogames. One night I apparently said very loudly in my sleep "there's not enough RAM" and the next morning my dad checked and sure enough some of the ram came loose somehow and that fixed it

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

It's very good, and congratulations - you now get to play the dungeon in real life.

Bicyclops posted:

had a dream that there was a live action ghostbusters tv show in between the first two movies that basically nobody had heard about. it was filmed with that soap opera quality film and was mostly extremely cringey jokes with an obvious, old timey laugh track, like a terrible episode of monty python. every episodes had a guest star who was hiring the boys to bust ghosts, and all of them were washed up one-shot wonders whose IMDB pages had like, one movie in the 80s and then this terrible show. bill murray was obviously drunk in every shot and improvising, and peter spent most of his time antagonizing egon, calling him a loser and squirting him with ketchup and stuff while egon tried to move along the plot. harold ramis seemed miserable, and dan ackroyd seemed oblivious to the whole thing. ernie hudson was only ever in like one scene an episode and the whole crowd cheered whenever he showed up, usually to solve the problem himself with a simple solution and leave the rest of the ghostbusters aghast at his wisdom.

because nobody had heard of it and i'd somehow gotten a copy of the whole thing from my parents house, i got e-famous for commenting on them on youtube, even though all i was saying were obvious things like "hoo boy, bill is three sheets to the wind here, huh?" i had no insight into how or why it was made or why everyone had forgotten it existed.

suddenly, i found myself in some kind of digital, cyberpunk-esque world, with bright billboards all over the sky. for my discovery of this obscure media, i had been inducted into some kind of elite counter-culture group called "the final fantasy hall of fame." the group had made some kind of a rom hack for final fantasy 6 that kept going after kefka's tower, in which you had to fight bosses with millions of hit points in battles that took hours or even days. nobody had beaten them all, and you could pick certain ones from "the hunt board" like in ff12. somehow, i had beaten almost all of them and only had a few left to go, but i was interrupted by getting assigned a task from the leader of the Final fantasy Hall of fame. the leader of the group was this middle aged trans woman named TerraGunn whose thing was painting her body pink and drawing spots on and walking around nude like esper terra. she explained that in order to induct people into the group, existing members were assigned to live in other people's heads for weeks to see if they were worthy.

i got assigned this guy who went to elementary school with me who has some kind of developmental disability, i never learned exactly what, and living in his head was absolutely miserable. he let everyone push him around without realizing it, worked at a whole foods where all his coworkers laughed at him without realizing it, and it was obvious his girlfriend was about to leave him, but i had no way of making him notice. i blame the weekend thread for making me think of Flowers for Algernon entirely for this portion of the dream, by the way. thakns a lot, fadam.

from there the dream got kind of dark and stopped being funny in any way so i'm going to leave it here, suffice to say that TerraGunn turned out to be quite a villain and the pain i felt in the dream was extremely visceral, enough that when i got up at 5 AM i was shaking for four hours. going to take some edibles tonight and try to forget the whole thing.

ol yeller posted:

Dreamed that I went on a date with Sofia Vergara. Everything was going really well until I had to give her a ride back to my place because driving in dreams always feels really hosed up to me. We ended up ordering a lyft together and things were heating up in the backseat until the driver, who was the Family Guy animated version of the pepperidge farm guy, made eye contact with me in the rear view mirror and I got uncomfortable.

Anyway, we arrived at my place and Sofia said she wanted to shower. I said okay and sat back on the couch, trying to play it cool. After watching a channel on TV that was literally nothing but commercials for what felt like an eternity, she walked out of the bathroom butt rear end naked and asked where I kept the towels. I tried to get an answer out but my eyes just kept focusing on a little tattoo she had in a pretty private area. I asked her what it was and she said it was something her ex made her get, and that he made all his gfs get it. I got closer to see what it was and realized it was Claptrap from Borderlands, and she said "That's right, Randy Pitchford used to date me. No big deal."

Woke up with one of those weird hallucination things where I kept seeing claptrap hovering around for like 30 seconds in my room and heard him in my head calling me A Little Bitch. Afterwards I went to the bathroom and took a poo poo.

heehee posted:

gonna be singing won't you rub my belly all day now

ArfJason posted:

Kinda tangentially about gaming

We were touring in a giant manufacturing plant. I commented on the enormity and complexity and a dude who i knew was inri despite having no indication of it agreed, which surprised me cause i was expecting a joke. There was a giant clear tube that carried balls of plasticine paper and someone asked why do they need paper like this and why couldnt they just get paper normally. The operator said they needed it like this because orherwise it gets wrinkled, took one out and unfolded it into a perfect smooth square. We then walked further into the plant and there was this video explaining that the rubbers for dpads (the ones that make contact with the board) always have a weak part in one of the directions, usually left, due to a bad mix of materials. Eventually we got further into the plant and there was tubes for the playstation buttons, for the xbox and somehow the dreamcast. We got to a part with no workers and the guide said "now its up to you" and we immediately got to different positions but before we could do anything the guide said that if we wanted to use a word we had to first find the book for it, as it means we possessed all knowledge related to it. We immediately set search to some forgotten part of the facility and found what we were looking for which was "the book of retard".

GorfZaplen posted:

I had a dream my gf and I moved into a new two bedroom apartment that was insanely nice and spacious. I was wondering why it was so affordable when suddenly the camera pulled back to reveal it existed on an age of empires 2 style map with medieval guys walking around. The medieval guys kept interrupting us whenever we tried to do anything; one time we were getting intimate when a voice declared "Our markets are under attack milord!" And the camera zoomed out and focused on a market district where red horsemen were attacking blue villagers. Time skipped to the evening where I was sauteeing some vegetables when I heard "The enemy has crossed over the river! To arms!" and it zoomed and focused on a bridge that foot soldiers were walking haphazardly across in 90s pathfinding ai. After sending some troops to stop them I returned to my vegetables to find them a caramelized mush.

Wormskull posted:

https://voca.ro/1fSVjI8IbZZb

Lobster Harmonica posted:

Dreamt that I'd somehow messed up the mouse drivers on my PC so badly that they had to be RMA'd (like I had to email the mouse driver files to Logitech and wait 3 weeks for them to repair the code) and my solution in the interim was to play Doom Eternal using my drawing tablet as a mouse.

It turned out there were special minigames throughout the campaign for players that happened to use a tablet, like to open slayer gates you would carve demon sigils into big stone runes etc, but one of them was just a game of pool that you played against Duke Nukem. Every single time it was his turn it would play audio of him going "yessssss" where he emphasized the "ssssss" part for like 10 solid seconds and I kept getting increasingly frustrated by it.

Finally just backed out of the campaign altogether but the audio clip of Duke going yessss had glitched and hung on the drawn out ssssss part forever, and I got so frustrated that I held down the power button on my PC to hard-shutdown but it wouldn't turn off.

Pablo Nergigante posted:

If the cheat you entered brought you to this, of what use was the cheat?

Sub-Actuality posted:

Last night I dreamt that I was watching an E3 Sega presentation for their new console called “Owlponics.” The guy presenting looked like Steve Ballmer and he was excitedly explaining that the name means “Owl Work” in Latin.

They put up an unlabeled bar graph that showed Owlponics compared to Blast Processing, and the performance was barely increased. The presenter was saying “this is because our new chip can rotate almost 360 degrees really fast. It’s like 200-something. It’s not 360 but it’s a lot of degrees; it’s most of the degrees.”

They showed off a tech demo where a model had to jerk her neck back and forth really fast to make a big 3D owl head on the screen rotate, but they had to stop after about 30 seconds because her neck hurt too much.

Then they held a Q&A and when someone pointed out that “Owlponics” rhymes with “Sonic” the Ballmer guy got so excited he almost started crying, and he shouted at someone offstage to bring him a notepad so he could write that down “for marketing.” and then I woke up