| at first it was just one historian who started making up Rome, but then all the other historians starting doing it, like the really cool good ones, and the stupider, less cool historians who were out of the loop started talking about Rome like they knew all about it too, which made the cool historians laugh. now all of the historians know about it, and it's kind of a joke that they pull on professors. some professors know that Rome is a joke too though, and they laugh about it when students are taking notes on this completely bullshit made up society that neverhappened at all. | |
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Sep 8, 2019 10:04
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 21:54 |
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personally i've been suspicious since i heard that it wasn't built ina day
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Sep 8, 2019 12:01
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the first historian: and that, my friends, is why they called it Home other historians: ...they called it "Home"? hmmmmm first h: *oh god think think they're not buying it*
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Sep 8, 2019 12:03
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me: okay, and what came after the second punic war? historian: bwheeh errmm.... the errrrr.. 3rd punic war... |
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Sep 8, 2019 12:39
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Honestly the whole thing sounds too stupid and corny not be made up |
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Sep 8, 2019 13:04
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[historian #1]: whatcha workin on? [historian #2]: I'm busy [historian #1]: I'll say, I've never seen you slave away like that. come on, spill. [historian #2]: I don't know how, I don't know why, but by god I'm going to work wolf titties into this origin story if it kills me
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Sep 8, 2019 13:09
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i have never seen it myself so i can't say if it is real or not?
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Sep 8, 2019 14:43
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hello my name is julio caeser and i am trusting my life to a guy named brutus. i am both real and not a total dumbass |
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Sep 8, 2019 14:47
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Heather Papps posted:i have never seen it myself so i can't say if it is real or not? Having been to Rome, walked its streets and viewed such wonders as the parthenon and the Coliseum I can assure you... IT ISN'T REAL. |
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Sep 8, 2019 15:03
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You see the inside joke is "Rome wasn't built in a day" because it was never actually built. |
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Sep 8, 2019 15:04
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Splatmaster posted:Having been to Rome, walked its streets and viewed such wonders as the parthenon and the Coliseum I can assure you... this is good second hand evidence... i don't believe in rome anymore okay someone do a dawkins edit i am tired this morning
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Sep 8, 2019 15:09
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treasure bear posted:me: okay, and what came after the second punic war? ---------------- |
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Sep 9, 2019 02:05
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yeahhhhhhhhhhhh sooooo this onnne guyyyy, duhhring the 2nd Punic Warrr, he rided an elelphannnntt, no, no! um, a whole army of elephaaaanntts, right into Rome. and there was elephants everywhere stomping on people! *pounding desk excitedly to simulate the stomping* and his nammme wasss, um, eerrmmmmggghh *looks at television and sees Silence of the Lambs* Hannibal!!! hahahahahahahaahahaa uhh i i mean it happened.
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Sep 9, 2019 02:08
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historian 1: when in rome! historian 2: when in rome what? h1: do...as...the romans
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Sep 9, 2019 02:14
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bee eater posted:historian 1: when in rome! ---------------- |
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Sep 9, 2019 02:16
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i wanna give them capes! the ones that fight! i want to give the ones that fight red superman capes! red superman capes and a red mohawk!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sep 9, 2019 02:21
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WetNightmare posted:i wanna give them capes! the ones that fight! i want to give the ones that fight red superman capes! red superman capes and a red mohawk!!!!!!!!!!!! this is good. real good stuff here. what about robes? big weird robes and dumbass sandals? *rifles through notes* poo poo harold, we already did that for the "greeks." Whatever, anyway let's give all their statues little penises |
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Sep 9, 2019 04:10
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Then where did pizza come from? Checkmate btch! 
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Sep 9, 2019 05:08
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historian: and sometimes romans would drop vaulable items at the bottom of deep lakes. In these cases they would put on iron boots, enabling them to walk on the seabed floor. "how could they breathe?" you ask. Well i'm going to have to tell you a little bit about pre-roman civilization, the zoras
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Sep 9, 2019 09:50
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Suetonius, panicking as he realizes he doesn't have enough room left to chronicle Caesar's long and happy life, writes:quote:And then all the senators got around Caesar and then they stabbed Caesar and then Caesar died. The End
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Sep 9, 2019 10:02
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Then where did pizza come from? *Checks notes* the freezer...uhhh.uuhhhh....i mean Napoli. |
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Sep 9, 2019 10:11
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Wait are we talking about Rome, Italy? Or Rome, New York? |
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Sep 9, 2019 12:02
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Finger Prince posted:Wait are we talking about Rome, Italy? Or Rome, New York? the guy who tours w sublime
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Sep 9, 2019 12:04
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some guy: I went to Rome last month. beautiful city! historian, doodling in notebook and not really paying attention: yeah and did you know it's been around since 1894bc? guy: bc!? you mean ad? historian: uh... no...? ---------------- |
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Sep 9, 2019 12:53
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Sep 9, 2019 13:05
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skeptic: and all of that was run by one man? Mhmmm, and what was his name historian: uhhh *looks around the food court* Orange Julius Chicken Caesar Melt. B-but that's just his full name
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Sep 9, 2019 13:10
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sorry i am not reading the thread titles properly again
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Sep 9, 2019 13:12
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historian, humming to self: roam, if you want to, roam, around the world some guy: ya thats a good song historian (thinking quickly): Im talking about rome, the ancient civilization that ruled the world. idiot.
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Sep 9, 2019 13:47
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WetNightmare posted:i wanna give them capes! the ones that fight! i want to give the ones that fight red superman capes! red superman capes and a red mohawk!!!!!!!!!!!! What if we put nipples on their armor lmao |
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Sep 9, 2019 13:51
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| Ridley Scott: I made a movie about an alien on a space ship. I made a movie about future robots. I made a movie about Tom Cruise fighting to stop goblins from killing unicorns. CGI is finally good enough that I'm ready to tackle my most implausible fantasy yet: Ancient Rome. | |
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Sep 9, 2019 14:11
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Historian: And that is why, to this very day, there is a religious headquarters in Rome guarded by a bunch guys dressed like clowns. Me: Uh, why, again? Historian: Uh, because (coughs several times), like I said. |
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Sep 9, 2019 17:22
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Nero Burning Rom(e)
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Sep 9, 2019 17:28
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which is proof that it did not exist, the country and most famous leader are named after CD burning software, CD burners did not exist anywhere near the time period that Rome was supposed to exist. Tell me how this happened smarty pants?
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Sep 9, 2019 17:29
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historian: so the romans fought - ethnologist : romans? sociologist: romans anthropologist: whats a roman lul ethnologist: u mean romanian ? dumbass historian: no.. roman.. its a real thing... anthropologist: ThE rOmAn EmPiRe https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png |
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Sep 9, 2019 17:38
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the byzantines constantly denied being romans and would insist at length that they were an original character
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Sep 9, 2019 17:41
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cda posted:Ridley Scott: I made a movie about an alien on a space ship. I made a movie about future robots. I made a movie about Tom Cruise fighting to stop goblins from killing unicorns. CGI is finally good enough that I'm ready to tackle my most implausible fantasy yet: Ancient Rome.
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Sep 9, 2019 23:17
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archaeologist: lol look at this pile of rocks. this is garbage. historian: haha no, it's "Roman" archaeologist: ahhhh, haha *winks* historian: *winks* |
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Sep 9, 2019 23:23
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i take roman style baths, which is to say, i don't take baths.
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Sep 9, 2019 23:25
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historian: ...a-alright now no one be too mean, this is just a kind of first draft at him and...voila!
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Sep 9, 2019 23:54
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if rome was real we would all know ceasar was pronounced with a hard "k" sound
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Sep 9, 2019 23:58
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