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thousands of years of failure just wear you down, you know? just inches away from freeing a dark god and the ol ennui gets you. you make some vague excuse and go home wondering what the point of it all is. just kidding that'd be something vaguely interesting. but i guess adding passive aggressiveness to his normal tantrum antics is something new. He can add that to his list of personality traits alongside "yells a lot", "is a dick to his subordinates", and "is just generally a dick".
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May 18, 2020 13:55
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regiment that is basically venture bros' The Monarch's Henchmen. Aka saturday morning cartoon villain henchmen, equipped with a vast array of gadgetry weapons and gimmick costumes, with awful morale and no training and mostly in it because working for some neurotic trust fund dorks crime org, risking death by horrible means, is still better then working in retail, and its easier to slack off in.
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May 18, 2020 16:56
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Night10194 posted:They spend 5 points on Covert Strike instantly thought of this https://youtu.be/tz4PdpfI7zY
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May 18, 2020 19:28
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Night10194 posted:Archaon is basically that character everyone hates, but GW is convinced that if they just give him some more powers, or make him the main character some more, someday everyone will start to love him. he's got the twin problems of where, firstly, he's just a tanturm spiral of a being. he's powerful, sure, but its like being hunted down by a kekistaner with a 50 cal; even in the face of destruction, there's a certain surreal quality to how genuinely embarrassing the whole thing is. And more offensively, he's a loving bore about the whole thing, somehow a bigger narcissist than the dude who stops in the midst of battle to make kissy faces at his reflection. He is positively the last guy in the old world you'd ever want to spend a night on the town with. I don't think he even has any hobbies. the second is that he's really a terrible leader. his great victories are him throwing the largest armies of the best infantry in the world backed by the most terrifying daemons into threshers and screaming at people when it doesn't work, and then really only winning due to the contrived incompetence of his foes and his own/his patron rear end in a top hat demiurges superman powers. It might be just a writer issue where they don't actually know what constitutes a "master strategist". Compare to how Mors/Gnawdwell was done in Children of the Horned Rat by FFG, where someone clearly noticed the pattern of great military pragmatists (absorb defeated foes after pruning their command, stealing others good ideas, merit based promotions, hard but equally enforced law, adaptation to defeats, brutally to resistance but rewards for quick surrenders, occasional use of genuine mercy but also acts of vaguely justified slaughter) seen with the Romans, the Mongols, Cao Cao, and others and applied them to the skaven of all things. But when it came to GW writing the settings primary antagonist the main thinking seemed to be "STRENGTH STRENGTH STRENGTH BIGGEST NUMBERS CAN'T LOSE ONLY STRONG BRUTAL LEADER MAN CAN RULE STRONG MURDER VIKINGS oh and he's basically a tv show atheist who read a book that shittalked him so its actually tragic" e: like, dude, i learned my god wasn't real and got to read poo poo predicting a bad fate for me, and learned the world was run by powerful douchebags and it just made me cynical, i didn't loving decide to murder people, like, who loving does that? ill tell you, terminally boring assholes. e2: i really just hate the trope of "oh this person was the Greatest, most Good and Heroic figure but then they read a bad book and got tentacles or purple skin or had a "LG" go to "CE" on their character sheet and now they're The Absolute Worst, isn't that traaaaagic? Maybe they can be redeeeeemed??? fucker, they were never good to begin with. Tiler Kiwi fucked around with this message at 20:14 on May 18, 2020 |
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May 18, 2020 20:04
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yeah i ate babies, like, literally consumed the flesh of newborns. did it for weeks. we had like, eigthy tv dinners so i didn't really have to. just was like, hey fjord watch me eat this baby! and i did, but he didn't watch so i did it again. kind of was this running joke, in between the blood wars and weekly genocides. good times. but anyways i got hit in the head with a big golden hammer so im in heaven now, its cool i was really actually good but i touched an evil rock too much. those, goddamn evil rocks. so, you're a saint of some kind? sounds cool i guess.
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May 18, 2020 20:29
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its just sort of a contrived thing, like, i don't think the hammering is probably necessary for someone to decide to be better; it sort of gets into the problem where a bad guy that was nominally good but got tortured or ~corrupted~ can be fixed but a dude that just, never actually had a chance in that they were just raised bad and hosed up is just "inherently bad" or something and thus can never be made good. its at least maybe more like that age old problem in criminal justice with determining what constitutes intent, or just certain theology where essentially being born in the wrong part of the world condemns you to hell, but ~corruption~ stuff falls into that kind of dumb morality-as-a-jersey thing you see in DnD and runs into the same sort of issue where you have to ask "hey, if corruption makes you evil, and they're all corrupt, isn't it super hosed up to treat them like poo poo since they literally had no choice in this?", among other issues. e: its something im sure the writing excuses like, "oh only evil people aren't corrupted so they're guilty but the good ones are just controlled by bad mutation magic or ~insanity~" or some other thing. im sure there's a term for that kind of writing, but its usually some tangled nash of things to ensure some contrived genre thing is maintained at all costs. Tiler Kiwi fucked around with this message at 20:46 on May 18, 2020 |
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May 18, 2020 20:40
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im more going at it since, imo, evil corruption as a convention is pretty silly and ends up being a way to make bad people good or good people bad without having to worry about issues like character motivation or moral relativism. its a really awkward way to try to thread the line between "they were forced to do x so its not their fault/they never really had a choice or had a choice that was stacked against them in a way the good guys never had to deal with" and "but its kind of their fault anyways so don't feel bad if you stab them" but its really just mind control wearing a silly moustache just let the bad guys be bad guys Tiler Kiwi fucked around with this message at 21:03 on May 18, 2020 |
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May 18, 2020 20:57
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I've always considered them petulant losers that sold themselves out for power, to a bunch of idiot rear end in a top hat dieties with rocks for brains, because they couldn't hack it. Theyre fantasy script kiddies, using hacks and calling themselves xXxslayermonger420xXx before taking a canonball to the face since no amount of ill conceived power can fix the simple incompetence that is the prerequisite for thinking a 0.00001% at daemonhood was a good bet to take. I think that, more than anything is the root of their uncoolness. They're intrinsically pathetic, the antithesis of cool. Even the lowest gobbos that decide to nut up, take shrooms, and charge at dudes with a long pointy sticks are bigger badasses than any chaos following wanker going off about how inevitable death is. All the pseudo-gnostic philosophy can't get them over that hump. The writers problem is that they try to emphasize their coolness, or power, or eeeeeevil, or corruption, and fail to capitalize on the fact that they're a faction of beaten down losers who only join up out of desperation or sheer damned idiocy, and then who just end up basically zombies due to evil chaos brain worms I guess. e: also that the faction is just an arbitrary powerful plot device. All the contrivences exist to allow a Good Guy faction that has to engage in blameless (or better yet, morally grey but _strictly necessary_) heroic militaristic struggle where Hard Men Make Hard Choices because chaos is designed to be singularly motivated to piss in everyone's cheerios and nothing else. it was less pronounced in whf but in 40k and aos its front and center stage. Tiler Kiwi fucked around with this message at 22:18 on May 18, 2020 |
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May 18, 2020 21:46
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is q a chaos god; a 532 page forum debate cut down by the inquisitors in its prime
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May 18, 2020 22:00
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Night10194 posted:Given what actually high grade dwarfen beer can do, I'd be terrified of what they'd call rotgut. presumably something like this.
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May 26, 2020 21:51
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Night10194 posted:I think it's A Ghost of a Tale. its this. kind of a rough game but cute
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May 27, 2020 03:36
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oh hey its the cacodemon. hello cacodemon!
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Jun 16, 2020 21:48
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instead of an army, just have a group of unliving wizards dedicated to producing a tide of prefect, immortal purple magic skulls
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Jun 21, 2020 21:58
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i do appreciate, at least, the joke behind having all your tanks named after big cats and then deciding to name your obscenely huge tank "mouse" i also appreciate that their tanks were poo poo because they were too
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Feb 13, 2021 06:41
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that reminds me of my favorite story i tell to people to get them to understand just how stupid the nazis actually were instead of being "cruel but efficient", which involves telling them how the postal service has their own nuclear program. oh yeah and the non-ss intel service being headed by a nazi disliker for most of the war.
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Feb 13, 2021 09:32
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Oh, it's basically as simple as it sounds. The wartime German bureaucracy was an insane and stupid mess and the german postal service had been taken over by the nazis, with the head being Wilhelm Ohnesorge who is so unimportant he dropped off the face of the planet after the war and nobody bothered to keep track of him until he died at 89. But he also had studied physics and was friendly enough with Hitler that he could get away with chasing after whatever caught his attention. He at least had the knack for going after things that were conceivably possible, like using the radio for "party propagation", but being the postmaster general he didn't exactly have access to the resources to do anything with it. He knew enough about physics to know that fission was a Big Deal, and knew enough about Nazi Germany to know that their inability to do basic coordination of their research programs and scientists (like the Americans were doing) was getting in the way of things. So he figured, hell, I'm the postmaster general, lets see if I can get things going despite it being absolutely not in the domain of the post office. He did not get things going. Nor manage to persuade anyone else to get things moving along despite maybe trying the hardest out of anyone; the physicists that remained in Germany didn't work together much and were more interested in chasing after cool sounding ideas than creating militarily useful technologies, and the german high command were distrustful of the "jewish science" of physics and adverse to the intra-branch efforts that would have been required to do something with fission since Hitler deliberately set them up with competing agendas for various reasons but mostly because he was a dorkwad idiot (and the known quality of Hitler being a dorkwad idiot ironically lead quite a few of his officials that understood the practical importance of fission to try to keep him away from nuclear fission projects since they knew he didn't really understand any of it and if got interested in it at all would insist on micromanaging it). Although Wilhem did manage to throw a lot of funding at whoever was doing things, like Manfred von Ardenne, a private researcher who was doing research on isotope separation and high-frequency technologies. That fellow got scooped up by the Soviets and (sort of) helped them get an actual nuclear bomb in the postwar, even. So basically the Nazis were so incompetent and mismanaged that the guy who showed the most enthusiasm about nuclear fission's practical applications was the postmaster, to the point where somehow funds meant for "getting letters from here to there" were being funneled into private research on how to make big explosions. And it was probably one of the more sane efforts of the war. Nazi efficiency, folks. Tiler Kiwi fucked around with this message at 11:23 on Feb 13, 2021 |
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Feb 13, 2021 10:20
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That and there was a general sympathy for the germans postwar, compared to the Brutish Slavic Hordes; racism and fear of communism played a part there, but there was also a sort of hopeful denial of reality at play too, since NATO really wanted to believe that it stood a chance against a soviet offensive and the myth of german "quality" nearly defeating the soviet "quantity", save for that oh so incompetent Hitler getting in the way of his generals, fed into the belief that they could make up for a lack of manpower and a questionable position with expensive technology and decisive tactical action to avoid an attritional war. And of course, they wanted to "rehabilitate" the germans as rapidly as possible so they could rearm them and employ them against the communist horde (including trying to start fascist resurgent movements in soviet territory). another, more straightforward problem, was that they often took the German officer's memoirs at face value instead of correctly realizing that the lot of them were just making up myths to excuse themselves from getting into an unwinnable war and getting their asses kicked all the way back to Germany. Like the notion that it was all Hitler's fault that they opened a second front in the first place; the German military was all in on Barbarossa, to the point that when the actual logistics crew came to them and said "we'll run out of supplies by six months", they flipped it around and proclaimed they'd win by six months. But if you read their memoirs, oh, they were all really against it! And the whole business with the jews, well, they hadn't even really paid any attention to it... scouts honor! likewise, postwar analysis on the german's nuclear program concluded that basically the germans were never, ever getting the bomb. Labeling entire fields of science as "degenerate" is not a helpful attitude to make actually useful wonder weapons, turns out. the nazi post office's program wasnt even the most incompetent attempt at it; the SS tried to get into the effort too, because of course the SS needed to have their own separate version of whatever someone else was doing. e: the US's obsession with wonder weapons and having their own """elite""" branches of the militaries that want to have a bunch of expensive dogshit toys is one legacy of all this, imo. The notion of a small crew of elite combatants armed with powerful rare weapons facing off against hordes of aggressive, collectivist orientalist villains is thankfully not at all impactful on the history of fantasy and sci fi fiction. Tiler Kiwi fucked around with this message at 08:24 on Feb 14, 2021 |
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Feb 14, 2021 08:14
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Night10194 posted:Turns out it's not a particularly good idea to ally with people who constantly talk about purging the weak and slaughtering the helpless. Same for the guy who kept screaming about how he'd render the entire world to death and bones so that he could control all existence. Turns out they all attack you eventually. Who knew? but what if the eugenicist faction has goth elf waifus. what then. e: just being willing to acknowledge that there are at least splinter factions in a setting thats supposed to have like, billions of lands in it or some poo poo is at least a nice thing to do Tiler Kiwi fucked around with this message at 11:48 on Feb 20, 2021 |
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Feb 20, 2021 11:45
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Mors Rattus posted:Gardus is a great dude and good character but I can’t stop laughing at him because his latest model gave him Vince McMahon hair. fuckin golden toilet bowl
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Feb 23, 2021 20:57
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dont have a cow, man
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Mar 13, 2021 06:59
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harry potter should have pulled a gun on voldemort
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Mar 20, 2023 18:30
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