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Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Check the whole thread:
https://twitter.com/BradFHenderson/status/1364266468909678596

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Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Simplex posted:

So what you're saying is that Mortal Kombat is he most 80s video game series ever in that it contains a bunch of stuff that everybody associates with the 80s that was actually really popular in the early 90s.

The 80s didn't end until Doom (1993) was released. The early 90s is absolutely the 80s held over, just like the early 80s is the 70s.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


wdarkk posted:

Sorta like how the 90s end on 9/11/2001 exactly.

I mean you can make a strong case that the 80s ended with the fall of the Berlin Wall and that works too, but then you have to classify 1990 - 1993 as a sort of liminal state where "the 90s" hadn't quite started and "the 80s" hadn't quite ended. 1993 was the year of the 3DO, CD-ROM pc games, Doom, Magic the Gathering, AOL online, the grunge wave hit its peak, the Reganite Republican President left office, etc. etc.

Megaman's Jockstrap fucked around with this message at 18:46 on Apr 7, 2021

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Uncle Boogeyman posted:

opening scene footage is cool, Joe Taslim is a badass

I was worried about him pulling off a mean mug because I've only seen him as a good guy but he was doing a great job!

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


This movie kost 95 million and looks like it kost in the mid 60s. The lack of kharacter in the setting and the studio mandating a dull kardboard kutout of a leading man really hurt this film. The fight kinemotography was also uneven.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


AccountSupervisor posted:

Every single thing from the casting, writing to the production and costume design was absolutely abysmal.

While I agree with you that this movie was extremely frustrating, I found the casting to be very good with the exception of Cole Young. But I honestly think that was a garbage character that Lewis Tan had almost nothing to work with.

The more I've thought about the film the less charitable I feel about it. We didn't get Johnny Cage, the fights were in mostly very dull locations, the superhero angle was silly and unnecessary. Hmmmph. I really hope they do better next time.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


It bears repeating that Cole Young was 100% a studio mandated character and that Lewis Tam drew the short straw with him.

I'm super frustrated with this film in part because it's 95 million dollar but looks cheap as hell and also the script is just full of bonkers concepts that barely work like "what if you had to earn your magic Kombat superpowers?" and "what if Jax has tiny little baby arms that don't matter?" and "what if we spend a bunch of time with a character that has never appeared in a single MK game and has no defining attributes beyond loving his family?" Stuff that you would have to go insanely mega on tone or glow up with beautiful cinematography to distract the audience from. Honestly a great counterpoint to this film is Godzilla vs Kong which is just as silly and sloppy a lot of the time but has a ton of money put into it and knows that the audience wants to see monsterfights, so it works a lot better as a lazy pander with a gazillion dollars thrown behind it.

I still can't believe I watched a nearly 100-million dollar MK movie where the fights took place in: a gym (regular/brrrr version), a sandy canyon, a trailer, and a very obvious green screen pit that nobody got upper-cutted into. That right there is a big problem with the film straight off the jump. Meanwhile Mortal Kombat 95 cost 18 million (roughly 31 million in today's money) and, of course, every dollar of that is on the screen.

Megaman's Jockstrap fucked around with this message at 14:59 on Apr 26, 2021

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


I really do not understand why they didn't get CHT back, honestly. Maybe because it was a poo poo nothing role that amounted to a little more than a cameo?

Every time I think about this movie I just get more frustrated with it. I'm not mad at it but it didn't sell the big moments, wasted lots of time on poo poo that didn't matter at all, and looked cheap. It starts out really well and then the goodness starts dribbling out of it and doesn't stop for the whole movie.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Neurolimal posted:

Was it a 95 million dollar budget or 55 million? The latter is the number I keep seeing elsewhere. If 55 is the correct one then I'd say it looks exactly as cheap as a director's first action feature film at that budget would look.

Last week when I looked it was 95, now it's 55. I checked a couple of different places, but not Wikipedia (which has apparently been correct since forever, and nobody has edited that section that I can see). The links I clicked last week are now 55, so I'm wondering if I just mis-saw. Well, I'm wrong and won't be quoting that number anymore.

The 55 million budget makes a lot more sense, but it still looks substantially worse than 1995's MK (which had a budget of 32 million, adjusted for inflation).

Megaman's Jockstrap fucked around with this message at 19:04 on Apr 26, 2021

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.



This is like a stop-motion creature in an old movie. It's very obviously fake but it's also cool as a barometer for CGI at the time, and it's also visually striking.

Yeah the new Reptile looks more real. So what? It's Mortal Kombat!

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Uncle Boogeyman posted:

The new one just looked like the Lizard from the lame Andrew Garfield Spider Man movie. Boring.

Agreed. looks like what somebody with no creativity but a lot of skill would produce if I said "lizard man". He's a loving kung-fu ninja lizard. Let's get with the program here.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.



Just a couple of points of clarification:

I don't think anyone thinks that MK 95 looks like an expensive movie. It's clearly not. But putting the the boat set forward as representative is doing a disservice. The scenes where they arrive on the island are very clearly real and look great. The feast hall, the temple, even the busted-up Cage vs Scorpion jungle gym (which, as real MK heads know, was made out of the torn up remains of the other sets) were exciting and interesting environments to have a brawl. The environments in MK 21 are just so bad compared to them, I can't believe the two biggest fights take place in a sand pit and a gym with ice. That's barely a step up from a quarry and an empty warehouse from DTV poo poo.

Secondly, the problem with Cole Young is not that he's a new kharacter. I don't have any problem with that personally. The problem is the black hole of disinterest that he creates in the script. Since we're comparing the movie to the video game, tell me: what do you think the general reaction would be if MK 12 introduced a new good guy whose backstory is "MMA washup who loves his family" and whose kostume design is "has an intricate bronze shirt for upper body armor and wields two tonfas" and then spent an enormous amount of screen time and story beats on this character? Because I assure you after years of awesome kharacters with stories like "deadly bug lady assassin who is a living insect hive" and "indestructible sand golem that controls time" and "special forces Muay Thai expert that also has gun-hands and rocket-boots" that is not going to cut it. There is no need for a straight man in a Mortal Kombat movie anymoreso than there needs to be a "regular beat cop" in a John Woo movie. It just brings the whole thing down.

"The new guy gets a yellow Black Panther suit because of course he does" well what do you mean here? This movie's script is lazy as poo poo and rip-offs the MCEU? That's not a point in its favor, and it's not cute or funny to me. By god there's enough money here and an R-rating to make something good. I want to see something good, not some weird cheap poo poo that can't even get me excited when they play the music sting from MK 95! I am not going to give them a pass or look at them with low standards, this needs to be a real-rear end movie that doesn't waste the considerable physical talents of the actors. I really hope they can get the sequel right because there's enough here for me to like a lot, but the script is just lousy and the spectacle largely falls short. Embrace the weirdness you cowards.

AzureSkys posted:

I just want Enter the Dragon, but with supernatural stuff like magic ninjas. I guess that's too much to ask for, though.

It's absolutely not. Enter the Dragon with the kooky weirdness dialed up to 11 (a la Big Trouble In Little China) is literally Mortal Kombat.

Megaman's Jockstrap fucked around with this message at 20:58 on Apr 26, 2021

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


BTW since I have been relentlessly making GBS threads on the movie here I want to talk about some of the things I like:

All the actors were well cast and it was only the script that let them down (Kano, btw, was improvised a whole bunch - which supports my point that the script is the problem, not the actors)
Making Sub Zero a horror movie slasher was great
The beginning fight was really good and managed to transcend how lovely it was shot and cut
Bringing in jobbers like Reiko to be murdered was fun
I basically already said this but I can't say enough good things about Joe Taslim, although his physicality probably would have made him a better Reptile than Sub-Zero. But he's gonna rip it as Noob!

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


JT Smiley posted:

I'm not sure how Cole's family survived the freeze attack that instantly killed Scorpion's family.

I believe Sub-Zero also put a icicle through their hearts. They're frozen in place with it sticking out of their chest.

Why didn't he do that the second time? Ah well, you see...

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


"I have returned from Hell to slay you" from a ghost fire ninja to an ancient ice ninja is a boss line from a boss kharacter that only bonkers-rear end Mortal Kombat could deliver.

It was said in a frozen gym while a dork in a bronze shirt speed-punched a corpsesicle.

This is why the movie frustrated me so much!

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Perestroika posted:

Congratulations, your mystical supernatural arkana is getting the same abilities as a mall cop with a pocket knife and some duct tape.

Ok, now I want to see the movie about a mall cop with improvised tonfas.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


The idea that somebody would be watching a movie about magic elemental ninjas + kung fu fighters + special forces warriors competing in a tournament that's actually a thinly-veiled pretext for dimensional war and say "hold on a second? the kung fu guy can shoot fire and the other has a death hat? And this guy has robot arms? I'm not buying that without an explanation - this movie sucks!" is ludicrous. That person does not exist.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Neurolimal posted:

For what it's worth, I think you could write some fun stories explaining the MK character powers. This arkana nonsense is not that; it's too vague and generalized to be of any interest, it's just going from "because magic" to "because they unlocked their magic".

Oh absolutely, you could have all kinds of intense flashback scenes and such. It worked for the X-Men and it could work here.

Halloween Jack posted:

The only interesting thing about the arkana is that you can get them from murder.

Same with the X-Men, just ask Rogue.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


The_Rob posted:

Yeah it could be cool if it was a the one situation where like you kill everyone with the powers you become the most powerful or something.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Honestly they should make Cole the new Sub-Zero. Have him redeem the Lin Kuei, get rid of the stupid armor (very easy to come up with a plot device where some entity/effect is taking away people's Arcanas - and just never mention them again) and then also his flat acting doesn't matter anymore, because he's a masked ninja with ice powers. Being a bit reserved is a perfect fit. Plus you can have ~drama~ where Great Great Great Great Grandpa Scorpion isn't happy that he's redeeming sworn enemies, so you can have them fight (before teaming up, of course, and Cole switching to the famous Shredder Sub Zero look).

Yeah I'm writing fan fiction. So what?

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


I actually want Lewis Tan to come back tho. Just not as "Cole Young". He really likes MK and I'm sure he could do a good job if he wasn't saddled with a garbage character.

Megaman's Jockstrap fucked around with this message at 22:21 on Apr 27, 2021

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Mechafunkzilla posted:

which ninja clan is the one that turns themselves into robots, make him one of those

That's actually the Lin Kuei! There's quite a bit of lore around them being manipulated and corrupted by Shang Tsung, they are quite a fertile ground for story beats.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


I really don't think the director was the problem other than being a first timer who was pushed around. It seems like he was forced to make an MK movie with some pretty serious studio mandates and I will wager the soundtrack was one of them.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


LadyPictureShow posted:

I take it back, that's actually pretty savvy on Triborg's part. His opponent isn't going to expect a fourth power.

Kind of like the joke of "If I were an action hero I would take the name 'The Masterful Swordsman' and then carry a huge gently caress-off gun. My enemies wouldn't expect it!"

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


bushisms.txt posted:

People keep saying this, but how graphic is scorpion's revenge?

Very graphic. Noggins get split, there are X-Ray moves, organs spill out, the whole deal.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Grimdude posted:

To be fair, it was a lovely movie back then as well. A lot of people were just like, 7 years old when it came out.

My friends and I were all in our late teens/early twenties and we liked it just fine. It has a handful of memorable setpieces and a bangin' main theme and, most importantly, an extremely goofy good-natured vibe that sort of permutates the entire movie and makes even the uneven/less successful stuff tolerable.

If you think it's truly lovely, then to me all that it reveals is it pushes some button you have or you haven't seen a lot of genuinely lovely action movies.

Megaman's Jockstrap fucked around with this message at 18:47 on Apr 29, 2021

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


I think Lucha Underground should be considered an honorary Mortal Kombat work.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.



Goddamn! Gavok you are the MVP of this thread.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Sheeva is incredibly cool. Now that they got rid of that dumb bikini and made her a literal Queen Grappler I like her.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


boop the snoot posted:

Goro did not deserve the disrespect this movie gave him.

Goro also goes back to his home planet and dies between MK10 and MK11. He starts the game as a mummified corpse in the Krypt.

I don't understand how people got bore-o'd for Goro but I don't like it.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


davidspackage posted:

Yeah, only Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa could get away with that. He could've started reading out game menu options and still make them sound cool.

"Mmm... vertical sync... ON."

drat I actually heard that in CHT's Shang Tsung's voice.

And it was GREAT

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Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


OutlawVern has his review. He's not a video game guy but he IS a martial arts movie guy and he thought it was pretty good. He actually like the Arcana hook, which surprised me, although he also admitted he didn't quite understand how they worked. Ah well.

https://outlawvern.com/2021/04/27/mortal-kombat-2021/

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