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a cyborg mug
Mar 8, 2010








Who could have known Talk To Transformer does pitch-perfect mythical prose

edit: let me fix this bad page snype with some answers to a burning question presented in the Pro Wrestling Questions thread

quote:

What is the perfect pro wrestling match?

The wrestling fans of the world are going to debate this for the next decade, but I tend to think that what makes a good match depends on the pro wrestling fan.

Any form of entertainment can be better if it is enjoyed and that same concept applies to pro wrestling. The fan will always look for a product they know they will enjoy. It is not a be-all end-all when it comes to the entertainment, but it is a great start.

So, let’s put it all together, a match must appeal to the pro wrestling fan.

I mostly got only extremely sensible stuff, as surprising as that might be. However,

quote:

What is the perfect pro wrestling match?

I think all the matches that are done in WWE or in the WWE are very good matches. WWE has been doing it for a long time so I think that's what is important. However, if you have the perfect match then it doesn't make any sense. Perfect is not realistic.

To conclude, would you say WWE is ahead of everyone in developing new talents or are the other promotions where talents should be developed.

I would say everybody is developing talents but WWE are doing it better than everybody else.

You don't

source you are quotes, in the bad wrestling opinions thread

a cyborg mug fucked around with this message at 14:10 on Mar 22, 2021

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sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

TOO EASY

Big Boss Man said "Hey Paul Wight! You're a nasty bastard and your momma just said so!"

Paul Wight retorted "Momma said she's still running through the mall like the Hulk, Hulk punch! Hammer to the grind! UGH!"

Big Boss Man laughed, turned around and waved at a limo in the front of the shopping center. "What's going on here? 'Cause these 'special' guys are sitting here snoring away while a party was in full swing back at the estate!"

Paul Wight opened his eyes wide and exclaimed "THE gently caress ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

"Well we figured if you could pull it off, so can we. And don't think for a second that you'd be able to kill a spider the size of a medium dog. They are faster than the average human and can almost close the gap."

Angry_Ed
Mar 30, 2010




Grimey Drawer

Having more fun with 90s Meltzer quotes from twitter

quote:

Live Wire also introduced a new character Vic Venum (Vince Russo), who is basically doing a Mark Madden "I'm a real journalist" gimmick. He's on live TV. He wants to know how much and who Kelly's husband is.

VENUM: I see she has a man by the name of Van Dam.
ROWAN: He's not her husband. He's her boyfriend. But thank you for calling. What's your name, son?
VENUM: Vince Russo.
ROWAN: Thank you for calling Vince Russo.
VENUM: I think people should be focusing on the loving Cubs.

What's next? A Cole / Kelly WWE wedding special? Wedded Bliss? A WCW-MSG rivalry that turns into a Punk/Roode feud? Gedo thinks it will be good for the

***

quote:

Yoshihiro Tajiri quit Big Japan over money and will apparently return to Mexico.

He came back to Japan.

Kim Jong-Il ordered his fat to drink and balloon made him be airlifted to Pyongyang.

But as he was airlifted, the balloons exploded and caused his lung problem to explode.

Lionel Messi had his shoes stolen by his son during a football match.

French authorities found the thieves out, but the French midfielder N'Golo Kanté had disappeared.

Leo has been silent for a while now.

Kanye West made Kim Kardashian choose between him and Beyoncé.

Kim chose Beyoncé.

Amputee

***

quote:

Halloween (WCW former Ciclope) beat Super Parka in a hair vs. hair match. The deal is, both of these guys are masked men. In the early days of WCW, if you were a wrestler and you went by an unmasked man, they'd give you a stipulation of having to wrestle a guy under a mask with an unmasked man who's a known worker. I think Super Parka was one of those. He wasn't using his face then. And Halloween said no way was Super Parka going to be able to do that. Super Parka just went up there and started beating on the mask, not allowing Halloween to even get in the ring. [Super Parka] was able to bust the mask apart and I went for a heat-seeking missile. You can't stop the [King Kong Bundy] Machine with a [two-hand handshake].

***

quote:

WCW had Bischoff attempt to do a segment called NWO Late Night, with a Tonight show type set with a band. They also had Lanny Poffo create a wrestling character called The Black Prince for the show. To set up the segment, Kevin Sullivan captured John Tenta, John Kronus, and Killer Khan in an unrelated event in the Caribbean and brought them back to WCW. At The Great American Bash Bash, Bischoff introduced the NWO to WCW television with an angle where he made the four Horsemen face the NWO in a 4-on-4 Survivor Series-type match. Bischoff then announced a 4-on-4 Traditional Elimination match between Team Bischoff (Jeff Jarrett, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Sean Waltman) and Team Hogan (Randy Savage, Curt Hennig, Lex Luger, and Sting) for the WWF Championship at SummerSlam.

Just before the match, Bischoff's men failed to regain the WWF Championship from Savage, who retained after Nash shoved Savage off the top rope onto Hall, Waltman, and Nash, giving him the pin.

At SummerSlam, The Rock defeated HBK to retain the WWF Championship and win the 1993 King of the Ring tournament.

Gotta say the idea of Nash shoving Savage off the top rope onto himself and two others is an impressive feat of agility I'm not sure he could pull off

a cyborg mug
Mar 8, 2010







quote:

Triple H (HHH): The Game, The Cerebral Assassin, The King of Kings, The Connecticut Blueblood, The Asskicker, The Creator And The Destroyer, The Architect, The Cerebral Assassin.

That’s what I will call you when you haven’t been listening. Just kidding.

Chris Jericho (Y2J): I don’t have a nickname. Maybe The Boy.

John Cena (JC): The Face That Runs The Place.

Mike Adamle (MMA Junkie): Tough Guy.

Kofi Kingston (Kingston): My real name is actually Nick Kofi Kingston, and I don’t have a nickname because…I don’t have any gimmicks. I’m one of the guys that’s probably got the most looks, personality, to draw fans. But it’s really how

Nick Kofi Kingston

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Chris "The Boy" Jericho, the most unexpected of his many character evolutions.

a cyborg mug
Mar 8, 2010







Jerusalem posted:

But in the current cursed age, Tanahashi is forbidden from toweling himself off and handing the towel back to them as they sob in gratitude. Dark times ahead friend. Maybe no towels, maybe no sweat. But he shall return, The Ace and the Sobbing Ladies are one soul.

This produced a number of interesting results. Here's a selection of them (all with the same prompt above):

quote:

Please pray for them.

– Superhuman Samurai Sycho Death Match: Kazuchika Okada vs. Minoru Suzuki

Predictions: You can predict Kazuchika Okada all you want. There is no more Predictable Okada than the guy on the cover of this website. The man does what he wants when he wants, and right now he wants to squeeze the life out of Minoru Suzuki. The Suzuki Clan is full of good guys. Minoru is my favorite. He takes chances and then tackles him. The legendary "Suzuki Lock," the Five Star Frog Splash

The Suzuki Clan IS full of good guys

quote:

[UPDATE: YOSHI-HASHI killed Hiroshi Tanahashi to send a message to Okada.]



quote:

Just look at those empty hands. Could he have the power to conjure some more towels somehow? Is that some sort of mental telepathy of his? Is there an extra towel that he just pops into his glove as a sudden idea strikes him?

I should have known.

Beneath the towel lies…


the suspense

quote:

We are one in spirit. No matter what. We will love you always. For life. I love you Hiroshi Tanahashi.

quote:

He will return.



And finally

quote:

That seems to be enough right now. I’ll leave you with some…

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a cyborg mug fucked around with this message at 13:41 on Mar 29, 2021

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


a cyborg mug posted:

"That seems to be enough right now. I’ll leave you with some…

Advertisements"

Always get your poo poo in brother.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

Almanya önde!
Bir başka hedef!
Sonsuz şef Löw için zafer!




GO ACE!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


a cyborg mug posted:

I love you Hiroshi Tanahashi.

I'm pretty sure the Transformer just qualified as having a soul and being alive

Roman Reigns
Aug 23, 2007



I want to see Minoru Suzuki do a frog splash.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


quote:

Hey Hey Hop Hop was an unexpected hit for WWE and it quickly eclipsed Monday night Raw in demographic popularity. But things took a turn for the worse when Bad Bunny went into business for himself live on stage at wrestlemania! "You are just going to have to excuse the two of us, we are just hungry from eating too many nachos, I think we are going to hit it hard tonight," he told the WWE fans and a distraught crowd. That incident really opened up the floodgates, the following weeks of Raw saw house shows full of fans just hanging outside their TVs instead of coming into the arena to watch Raw.

Bad Bunny being flown to Dubai

The Big Boss took notice of the troubles and paid a surprise visit to the WWE star as his guest

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

TOO EASY

I would also rather hang outside my TV than watch Raw.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


quote:

Cody Rhodes said he would never hurt QT Marshall. He said he loved QT Marshall, and that QT Marshall was the biggest apple in AEW. QT smiled and wiped Dustin Rhode's blood onto the shirt of his new ally.

Finally, all four men in the ring stood face to face. They had a stare down. All of a sudden, everyone but Manik hit the floor. He was throwing down punches and not fighting back at all. The WWE guys were stunned.

Manik smiled, held his hands up and stood up. He hugged the injured Chad Gable. Everyone in the ring was on their feet in awe of Manik. This man had somehow saved everybody in the ring.

As he stood in the center of the ring, the injured Goldust yelled "he's the new Primus!"

*

Man

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



Transformer made a real hard heel turn

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

fuck the molice


TJPrimus

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

TOO EASY

My Name is Manik

(farty bass sounds)

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



Has.... has the Transformer actually been TJP all along....?

Angry_Ed
Mar 30, 2010




Grimey Drawer

Yeah there's been a disturbing amount of Transformer-related TJP shenanigans recently

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


quote:

Transformer... have you actually been TJ Perkins all along? Are you Manik, Transformer? Tell the truth. Are you Suicide, TJP? No. YOU are none of these! You are none of these! You are the man! Have you been by my side all along? Yes. Have you been living on a Prayer? Yes. Did you bring light to all I have hurt? Yes. Are you My Right Hand? Yes. For that, I am all that you have. Yes. TJ Perkins has been an NXT and 205 Live favorite for quite some time. In an era where many stars have come and gone, Perkins has been there for NXT, he was featured on both Smackdown and 205 Live, and he even competed in the Greatest Royal

Angry_Ed
Mar 30, 2010




Grimey Drawer

Vince starts prototyping the first form of NXT in the late 90s

quote:

Vince McMahon then pulled out a garbage can, put it on his desk, and ordered Drozdov to demonstrate his "talent."

Upon Drozdov's arrival to McMahon's office, he watched while McMahon ordered him to grab the garbage can and run with it to the entranceway.

In shock, Drozdov asked what the hell was going on.

"He only said get him to do this," Drozdov recalls McMahon saying, "He knows I've got your back."

Drozdov then sprinted across the building, climbed a catwalk, and wrestled back down to the floor of the Impact Zone.

From there, he made his way back to the ring and unleashed a series of VHS tapes on

The Who Ran over Austin saga goes full TNT/TNN Drama

quote:

Some of the leading suspects when it comes to who ran over Austin are--
1) Steve McMichael
2) Rena Mero--they did say the driver had blond hair
3) Carmen Electra.

4) Beyonce, she has been spotted here plenty of times.

"Listen we have a possible hit on the Cruz family which may be responsible.

This is also the family in Cali."

Detective Hammond

"The Cruz family who run of a gun shop?

Here?

That sounds like a bloodbath."

Dr. Conrad

"Exactly.

Somehow the Cruz family were tied to the Mafioso but the hit squad is missing one important person.

I believe it to be...

Carmen Electra."

David popped up from his desk.

"Looks like the FBI is onto us.

What

Angry_Ed fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Apr 2, 2021

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


quote:

Vince: gently caress it, I want to break up The Hurt Business. Lashley/MVP: Listen Vince that's bad here are reasons why. Vince: Well poo poo, now I really want to break up The Hurt Business!

Lashley/TJ: I want to dump the MVP.

Vince: Good here are reasons why.

MVP: Listen gently caress off, I don't want to break up MVP.

Lashley/TJ: I don't want to dump The MVP either, but I do want to break up The Hurt Business.

Vince: I feel the same way. I want to dump MVP too.

MVP/Lashley: I don't want to dump The MVP!

Vince: gently caress that's bad.

MVP/Lashley: Listen gently caress off, I don't want to break up MVP either.

Vince: Well poo poo, now I really want to break up The Hurt Business! Hurt Business is the

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

fuck the molice


TJP would be better as a Hurt Business member than King Corbin, I can tell you that.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


quote:

"I'm picturing it now. Ozzy does the music. William Shatner beams in to graciously accept his hall of fame induction using the most modern CGI. John Bradshaw Leyfield says he isn't sorry for sexually assaulting all of those people. We give a warrior award to a guy we call 'The Fixer'" - Vince McMahon, as per his podcast

"I've spent hours considering which bowl of chicken wings will rip the most muscles off the already ripped abs of myself. I've texted family, friends, co-workers and doctors for tips on my ideal birth date. I've called around to get an idea of the most stylish leggings I should wear for my maternity photos and have emailed a few companies to see what kind of maternity clothes I should purchase. I've even asked my doctor whether or not I can lift heavy objects for the first

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

fuck the molice


quote:

After winning the AEW World Championship from Kenny Omega, Rich Swann called out Pentagon Jr. to a Lumberjack Match, which was accepted.

Rich Swann Lumberjack Match

In the opening moments of the match, Swann used a chair on Pentagon Jr., before the match even started.

The two wrestlers continued to go at it, with both guys attempting various weapons and submissions. However, it was Swann who finally landed a beautiful shooting star press, which resulted in the Big Ish Corporation title changing hands to Swann.

Swann's title win was the main event of the show.

Not gonna lie, Transformer knows how to book.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



Transformer booked a two out of three falls match...

Kenny Omega kicked out of the kamegoye as Ibushi looked stunned. Red shoes held up two fingers and shook his head. The Tokyo Dome crowd roared in surprise. Omega finally kicked out, but Ibushi took his leg out with a sharp kick and picked up the win. The crowd exploded as Ibushi celebrated in the ring. Kenny Omega came back in, kicking out of one corner attack and countered the second. Omega went for another block, but Ibushi caught him in a surprise high cross. The pin was made and Omega rolled outside. Omega hit a back fist off the post, followed by a missile dropkick. Omega went up top, but Ibushi caught him and hit the kamegoye. Ibushi rolled

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Pinche Rudo posted:

Transformer booked a two out of three falls match...

And had Ibushi win the first two falls!

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