quote:

The best promos would come out of Booker T though.

The five time, five time! FIVE TIME COVID-19 SURVIVOR! *breathes into an oxygen mask*

Arn Anderson is sitting at a table. They all wanna get back in the ring again. Arn is out of the ring. He makes his way to the back, and drops his mask and trench coat.

Arn Anderson makes his way to the back with Jeff Jarrett. They have some words. Anderson has "N-N-NO!" on his t-shirt and says it's the law.

The J-Jets appear!

Jim Cornette runs out with one of those two by four's. He starts spraying it with lube and makes the J-Jets bring him a barrel of the stuff.

Oxygen Overdose

Ric Fl

quote:

Everybody is more badass when they beat up a WWE referee.

BTW, it was reffing a high school football game.

And, according to both Brian and Jonny, the ref was having a bad day.

He was yelling and cussing at the kids and the coaches, basically telling them all they were a bunch of loving pussies.

So this bitch comes out and he calls her a pussy and storms off.

So, he's walking down the field and another kid is doing something he doesn't like and he comes up and knocks the kid down with a forearm.

They tacked on the extra points and he walked off

quote:

We all know what Vince McMahon said to John Cena backstage at SummerSlam 2005. When you watch the show on Peacock, however, Vince McMahon now says things that contradict his words years ago.

Vince is wrong on a lot of levels. Yes, Triple H “beat Cena” in that match. However, that was due to Vince having no faith in John Cena or his future in WWE. This allowed Triple H to use a move on Cena that no one in the WWE has ever thought to use before: He held him in a headlock while lying on his chest. Triple H’s move was so spectacular that the WWF/E renamed the move the King Cobra and it remains one of the most well known moves in the modern

quote:

Vince McMahon isn't passing the WWE to Shane or to Triple H or even Stephanie when he retires, he's actually going to give it to the fans. The idea is that he will become the WWE's Chairman of the Board, and then he'll get to play the part of the benevolent father who hands over the company to a committee of shareholders...all of which will be the WWE Universe.

It's not going to be a complete free-for-all, however. He's going to have representatives of the WWE Universe sign off on all major decisions, and the board will vote on new talent as well as the firing of current talent. The Chairman of the Board will still have the final word, but he'll also have a lot of help.

It's a very interesting concept, one that will certainly allow some fresh ideas into the company. It might even be a more effective way of running the company than the way he currently does.

Shane McMahon thinks this is the best way to handle the company, and he's even willing to take on some of the more administrative duties while the Chairman of the Board is still the guy in charge of the day-to-day operations.

That's right, he'll be the company's COO.

Shane McMahon is currently the WWE's Chief Strategist.

That's a title he gave himself, and it's a fancy way of saying that he's the guy who's in charge of strategy, marketing, and creative content.

However, he's not going to be doing any of those things for much longer, especially creative content.

Shane McMahon has always felt that he's been a better writer than a wrestler, and he's wanted to be more involved with WWE programming for some time. The problem with that was that Vince McMahon was his father, and he didn't want his son and heir apparent to ruin his legacy.

He's not afraid of that anymore, and that's where we come back to the Chairman of the Board angle.

Shane McMahon is going to be the WWE's COO, and he's going to be the one who oversees the creative process for all of the WWE's programming.

Remember, the WWE Universe will be in charge of the company, not Vince McMahon, so he's going to need someone who understands his vision to help get the creative process right.

Shane McMahon is the guy for that job.

Shane McMahon will also be the guy looking over the shoulders of all of the Superstars and Divas in the company.

As COO, he'll have to make sure that all of the talent is following the rules, and he'll also have to make sure that everyone is putting on good matches, engaging promos, and helping to grow the company's brand.

His role will be a lot like Stephanie McMahon's is now, except it'll be a lot more hands-on.

Shane McMahon is going to be the guy who's in charge of the Superstars and Divas, and he's going to make sure they're all on the right track.

He's going to be the one who decides who's being shipped to NXT, and he'll be the one who makes sure that the WWE Universe is getting the most out of its talent.

Yes, Shane McMahon is going to be the guy in charge of the WWE Universe.

quote:

Invent a fictional professional wrestling promotion.

The World Dingus Championship Wrestling Association is a federation based in the fictional country of Dingus.

quote:

The New York Knicks Wrestling Federation

The New York Knicks Wrestling Federation is a fictional professional wrestling promotion based in New York City. The promotion features WWE wrestlers, such as Daniel Bryan, Big E, and Kofi Kingston.

quote:

Mighty Mountain Wrestling (MMW) was founded in 2010 in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, United States. It is the largest professional wrestling promotion in the Rocky Mountains. MMW has a national television deal with the American Sports Network and has a dedicated YouTube channel.

In 2017, MMW was purchased by a conglomerate of media companies and the promotion was moved from Colorado to Atlanta, Georgia.

The MMW roster is made up of wrestlers from all over the world. The company is best known for the tag team of The Young Bucks, who won the MMW tag team titles in their first MMW match.

The MMW World Heavyweight Championship was established in 2006 and is currently held by the first champion, The Devil's Angel.

The MMW Television Championship is currently held by the first champion, The Dark X.

The MMW Cruiserweight Championship is currently held by the first champion, Crusher.

The MMW Divas Championship is currently held by the first champion, Eve.

The MMW Tag Team Championship is currently held by the first champion, The Young Bucks.

Mighty Mountain Wrestling presents the best professional wrestling in the Rockies.

quote:

Dowg-Womp-Oomp Wrestling (DWW) is a fast-paced, hard hitting, action-filled wrestling promotion that features the most elite wrestlers the world has to offer. Their wrestling style is based on power and aggression, as they try to out-maneuver and out-think their opponents. They never take the easy way out and always try to go for the win.

The company was founded in the late 1990s by the powerful wrestler "The Big Womp" who had been a wrestling superstar in the 1980s. After a 2 year hiatus, he returned to the ring for one match in the late 1990s and surprised the wrestling world by defeating "The Big Oomp" in a legendary battle.

In the early 2000s, "The Big Womp" retired from wrestling and handed the company over to "The Big Oomp" who had always dreamed of running the company. This was a blessing in disguise, as "The Big Womp" had never had a great head for business and "The Big Oomp" would be much better suited at running the show.

In 2006, "The Big Oomp" created the "Dowg-Womp-Oomp" battle royal, which quickly became a staple match at the company's shows.

In 2009, "The Big Oomp" retired from wrestling and handed the company over to "The Big Womp" who had never been happier to be back in the business.

He has since changed the company's name to Dowg-Womp-Oomp Wrestling and has been running things as successfully as ever.

The company is currently managed by "The Big Oomp" and "The Big Womp."

quote:

In honor of the United States Marine Corps, the United States Marine Corps Wrestling Federation (MCWF) is a professional wrestling federation that exists solely to support its members in their military service to the United States. Wrestling for the MCWF is a full-time job, and a wrestler is expected to live on base.

a cyborg mug posted:

I'm really amazed by Dowg-Womp-Oomp...Also, DOWG WOMP OOMP

quote:

as brain damaged as vince is, he can’t be the one writing this poo poo so who is?

both what I say and what you say are the same. the mental state of both vince and sam white are not great but they are not THAT bad to where either of them can’t defend themselves.

yep, no, Vince was not abused. 2 beatings? Yes. I’m not saying that it’s untrue but don’t take it seriously when you say he was abused.

-so um, what happened

-I said they were beatings. NOT tortured

-that DOES not mean they didn’t gently caress

-sho what about that statement?

-nothing happened to this channel

-does

quote:

Create a fictional professional wrestling faction.

The Neo-Dementians are a group of wrestling fans who refuse to leave their homes during the day. They have insomnia, and they find wrestling to be one of the few things that will keep them up late.

quote:

The Midnight Kartel is a group of mysterious and dangerously-skilled wrestlers that have been seen in matches with the likes of the Outcast Clan, the Dead Rabbits, and the Claw Wrestling Association. Their leader, a masked, hooded figure, is a master of the martial art of Pencak Silat, as his students have been known to demonstrate.

El Generico posted:

Fuckin WHAT?!

quote:

Bryan Alveraz is a puppet on firefly funhouse and the only thing he can say is "The Lore of the Fiend", Bray Wyatt sounds like he is getting his arms cut off, and there was a tornado (?)

that came through, or so the joke goes.

My only beef is that some characters just don't fit.

We have the female warriors with no one like them in the men's division.

No Scarlett!

No Chastity!

No Sarita!

No Daffney!

No Elizabeth!

No Ellie Mae!

No Jinx!

No Mudflap!

No Elia!

I think she said it best with one of the funniest moments, AJ is cheering on his lady Lita.

So AJ, ladies first.

Wouldn't that be awesome?

quote:

"Please" Aleister Black begged creative, "I've not been out of this mysterious black void in YEARS. I need to eat! Need to sleep! I'll do anything you ask!"

"Dude, that is ridiculous" Bobby Roode replied from the commentary booth.

"All right, if we can save any time, what kind of monster eats other people? Jack Frost, abomination of the season? Christmas tree, that's not bad, but no, the person I have in mind is one who tastes delightful… like a warm apple pie…"

"Oh god NO" Aleister Black yelled. He could feel his eyes bulging out of his skull and he couldn't get off the desk fast enough, he had to make a run for the stairwell.

"And then, when

quote:

Merch sales too. Not every company can subsist on selling $500 fiend-belts to 50 year old man-children. They need to have merch that sells, even if it’s 30-40 year old women with one leg. They’re trying to sell clothes for their games. That’s what all these companies do. Which is how we get stupid items like this very limited edition hand drawn Cthulhu finger puppet with real poop. Gird your loins, my good people. The Starving Pixel Unicorn Army is rising. I didn’t make this up. Go do some street casting. Yes, you, good looking person standing near me in line at Walmart. You’ll be at the top of

Edward Mass posted:

Unbelievably, "Starving Pixel Unicorn Army" is not in use by anyone.

quote:

Kenny Omega refused to let a man without a jacket enter the AEW Casino, and yet The Dark Order's John Silver was shirtless? The Best Bout Machine has a lot to answer for....

February 4, 2019

Tony Khan, son of Khan Family patriarch Malcolm, founded the new company and will serve as President. The Khan family has never held any interest in professional wrestling or had any involvement in professional wrestling outside of the Khan Family Entertainment Company, the parent company of TNA Wrestling. Tony Khan stated that this new promotion will be independent from the family, and that the family will not be involved in this company for the foreseeable future.

Jerusalem posted:

.....anybody got a link to the gpt-3 ai?

quote:

Meltzer rated Shingo Takagi vs Will Ospreay at Wrestling Dontaku a whopping six stars, joining a small and illustrious club of matches rated a full star beyond his former 5-star limit. Ospreay has a unique style that has been dubbed "escort wrestling", and his willingness to adapt it in order to stay
relevant and to have successful matches and angles with wrestlers he worked with over the years such as Eddie Guerrero, The Great Khali, The Great Khali, Rey Mysterio, Rey Mysterio, Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho and Drew Gulak, among others.

“The Mad King of Pancrase”, Takagi is known for his “hit and run” style that most wouldn’t want to even get near let alone to try to take him down. Standing at 6 foot 7 and weighing 200lbs, the former junior college All American wrestler stands tall above the crowd.

Lanny Poffo posted:

I told my brother, “I’ll write a song, ‘The Perfect Friend,’ and you can sing it and that’ll be my contribution to your CD, but I’m not going to make any negative songs about Hulk Hogan.”
(For the record, my brother said he wasn’t going to sing it either. He did contribute to the song “The Perfect Kiss,” which I got from WWE’s wrestling anthology DVD, Attitude Era: Decade of Decadence, only because I begged him to do so.)

This all made me think of the upcoming Wrestlemania, because of my real-life (but fictionalized) issues with Hogan, who made the news again yesterday because he is racist. When I was nine, I wrote to WWE (I was a big wrestling fan at the time, naturally) and

quote:

After defeating Cody Rhodes, Anthony Ogogo took an American flag from the crowd and raised it above his head in protest of Lance Storm in Glasgow.

Several years ago, Storm, the longest-tenured wrestler on the WWE roster and one of its most-liked, posted a humorous tweet complaining about fans stealing American flags at British shows. It was this incident that inspired Ogogo to take action.

"His tweet got a lot of people up in arms," he said. "I was completely on the fence and just wanted to do something."

As an Englishman, he was surprised that fans weren't more upset by

quote:

It was always a good time for firings in WWE! "Braun- You've done enough! Get out the door!" Vince McMahon hooted and hollered at him. Braun ripped off his tights and screamed as Vince ordered him to "Eat dirt!" "You don't understand what I'm going through," Braun screamed. "I can't take it! I can't stand it!" Vince screamed back. After a few minutes, Braun asked Vince what it would take to get him back in the WWF. "Give me what I want!" Vince screamed back, "Give me your dreams, and I'll give you my respect."

"You know what I want? I want you to rip your trunks off!" Vince ordered as Braun tossed off his trunks. "I want you

quote:

The Ultimate Warrior episode of Dark Side of the Ring sees the debut of “Sole Survivor,” Bruce Prichard, who comments that he left WCW in 1993 “head over heels” for his wife. Prichard worked in an open card match with Ted DiBiase. Despite a hard-fought victory, Prichard comments that the match was “embarrassing,” and by the end of the match DiBiase would say “so, does this mean we can have it real, or are we on television?”. During a roundtable discussion, the wrestlers discuss the fall of the WWF, with DiBiase acknowledging that the work schedule

quote:

The WWE announced today on The Bump that the newest member of the WWE Hall of Fame is legendary manager “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, who was inducted by Eric Bischoff, a former member of Piper’s Pit. The Hall of Fame ceremony will be held on Saturday, April 1 at the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans.

Piper, real name Roderick Toombs, made his in-ring debut in 1976 and in 1985 began managing The Undertaker. As Piper’s Pit began, his backstage antics made him a fan favorite. Piper’s involvement in the ring remained sporadic over the years, with appearances at the inaugural WrestleMania

quote:

In this week's issue of the Wrestling Observer, Dave Meltzer gave five stars to the recent match between Hulk Hogan and Kurt Angle. Hogan and Angle have been feuding for months, but this was the first time they had been in a match together.

You can check out his full review here:

Hulk Hogan is in the Hall of Fame because he was one of the best professional wrestlers ever. He was good in the ring and a good character, but more importantly he was a pro wrestler that didn't try to be a movie star or have a crossover appeal or just be a superstar that wrestled a bunch of matches. He was a single guy

quote:

We go backstage to Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner, who is conducting an interview while Petey Williams stands alongside him. Steiner says: "You know they say all men are created equal? All men are made equal. But Big Poppa Pump ain't made equal. I am absolutely the greatest, I make poo poo happen! Your entire line sucks, your whole gimmick is phony, your wrestling style is fake, your people suck and your match sucks. You couldn't beat Tony Schiavone, you couldn't beat Johnny Rodz, you couldn't beat… you couldn't beat me!" Petey storms off as Steiner tells him to never walk away from a man who has taken his hard-earned talent and given him nothing but a third of his stolen

quote:

After letting his contract run out earlier in 2021, wrestling's hottest free agent, Daniel Bryan, is expected to show up on television tonight and sign a contract with the WWE. His signature will end years of speculation that Bryan was destined to take his talents elsewhere.

That's usually the way it goes for these legendary free agents.

Just ask Kurt Angle.

Back in 2004, there were so many rumors that Angle was going to end up with WWE, with Angle himself rumored to have initially signed with WWE, only to change his mind a few weeks later and sign with TNA. Many fans went into a state of shock when Angle ended up signing with WWE three days later.

Later,

quote:

On June 3, 1994 at Budokan Hall, one of the greatest matches in pro wrestling history happened. The match, one of the few that was rated 6 stars by the Wrestling Observer was between the legendary Bret Hart and Diesel. The match came after Bret stepped away from the WWF and Diesel and Scott Hall took his spot in the WWF (laughing as we all know how that turned out). The match was voted match of the year by Pro Wrestling Illustrated in 1996.

On this day in history, more or less, they probably should have wrestled for free because it was one of the greatest matches ever. Let me give you some more reasons why you should appreciate this match.

#1. There was a tornado outside

quote:

Hulk Hogan stumbles into a mysterious cavern. Picking himself up off the floor, Hogan exclaims "Where am I? There's no Hulkamaniacs here!". Slowly making his way through the cavern, he says "I've never been here before!" Hogan sees running water. He reaches out to touch the water, and yanks his hand back "AAAH! I'M A HUMAN!" Just then, he hears a chuckle, so he looks around the room for the source. He sees... Hulkamaniac as a little girl holding a tape recorder. A third eye opens in Hulkamaniac's forehead. She says "Hi, Hulkamaniac!" Hulkamaniac is angered and goes back to his cave. Goliath (who can't stay mad) exclaims "That was some good lines, Hulkamaniac!" Hulkamaniac says "Hulkamaniacs don't use the famous double entendre that made "Hulkamania" a name!" Goliath responds "But you are a human, and

quote:

Seth Rollins was horrified to discover that yet again his coworkers were getting themselves fired rather than listen to his long rambling promos. "Well fine!" He said in a huff, "Who needs them anyway?" Now Seth Rollins was gonna be a one man show.

And he decided he would need something to get himself ready for his one man show. And that something was...

Glorious donuts.

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reignofevil posted:

quote:

Roman Reigns was going to be inducted into the hall of fame but not as Roman Reigns he was going to be inducted as a spoiled bitch.

I don't know what kind of complaints you have about Roman Reigns.

You don't have to be the loudest.

People do not change because they are famous, but that's not the point.

Roman Reigns was going to take the first step of entering into the hall of fame.

When you go into the hall of fame of the WWE, you have to take a piss in the dunny.

That's just the way it is.

The last person to take the first step into the hall of fame was John Cena.

We all know that was a disaster.

It took some time

quote:

Fake Diesel
Fake Razor Ramon
Fake Sting
Fake Kane
Fake Undertaker
Fake BUSHI
Fake Suzuki
Fake Psycho Clown
Fake Isai
Fake Vic Gagne
Fake Fergal Devitt
Fake El Torito
Fake KENTA
Fake Paul London
Fake Yoshi Tatsu
Fake Taka Michinoku
Fake Yoshi Hashi
Fake Yoshihiro Takayama
Fake Naruki Doi
Fake Ray Traylor
Fake Rick Martel
Fake RD Guerrero
Fake Sanada
Fake Taka Michinoku
Fake Togi Makabe
Fake Ultimo Dragon
Fake Vader
Fake El Patron
Fake Melina
Fake Ryusuke Taguchi
Fake Rito Revolucion
Fake Super Crazy
Fake Shiro Koshinaka
Fake Sugar Bear Wilson