quote:

Here is how the Shane McMahon vs Kevin Owens storyline will end. WWE has taken a great step forward in developing a storyline, not only within the company but in this country, in terms of developing the talent.

Shane McMahon will go through a career of being hated. He will be a punching bag on Raw and Smackdown while WWE has him on hold with their management and marketing. He will be seen in the first part of the feud with Owens being mocked, booed and attacked when he is in WWE.

He will be seen in the second part of the feud as being in a losing position as WWE does not want to have two feuding stars on the same show. As a result, they decide that they will only give him a six-month contract and he will be seen off on a Greyhound ride back to the country. He leaves the company and goes into a dark place and turns a lot of heads.

WWE doesn't know about these things, so they keep saying "Shane will stay in WWE, but we're not going to say that he will be in a different position."

quote:

SANADA will finally win the IWGP championship when he defeats Tetsuya Naito to win a belt that should be held by someone better than him.

quote:

This was the original plan for Chris Jericho vs Hangman Page for the AEW championship. A little while before the match, Page turned up in the ring as a replacement for Shawn Michaels and made a big entrance. Page took out his anger on Shawn Michaels. Jericho threw him aside. Jimmy Hart got in and started the match with his own comeback. Howard Finkel came out to help.

When the match was over, Page ran backstage and started fighting the ref. On the set, Mick Foley was yelling at Page about what he said. Page threw Foley across the stage, and then told him "That's a fuckin' shame".

They took turns working on him from that point on, and after a couple of bumps, Page was on the spot. Page came back with a superkick, and landed a spinning elbow to the ribs. He fell to the floor and hit a flying elbow. The announcers went to the ring to announce that it was Jericho's win. Mick Foley ran to Page and kicked him. Page got up and ran into the ring.

quote:

Wrestle Kingdom 14's main event will be an IWGP Championship match between Togi Makabe and Tetsuya Naito, with WWE Superstar Dolph Ziggler as the special guest referee.

shiksa posted:

okada working 3 times in a single night? truly the GOAT

reignofevil posted:

super macho dude posted:

I'm surprised how quickly and graphic this script turned my Hulk Hogan prompt into a porno. That was the first attempt.

quote:

At Wrestle Kingdom 14 Jyushin "Thunder" Liger will have his retirement match. The world will come together to take him down. And then when Liger is finally defeated, he will be a legend. So let's call this one "Super Liger."

quote:

At Wrestle Kingdom 14 Jyushin "Thunder" Liger will have his retirement match. In the first bout of the main event, the WWE Universe will see "The Dragon" Liger vs. Chris Jericho during an 8.5 minute match on Monday Night Raw where Jericho will attempt to break Liger's back using the steel chairs and "Dragon" Liger will fight to defend his retirement.

After the match he will be replaced by Samoa Joe, an eight foot eight man with an indestructible arm. He will face the debuting AJ Styles

quote:

What is the most devastating pro wrestling move of all time?

The most devastating pro wrestling move of all time is actually my personal favorite, when I found myself trying to use a "slam move" in WCW (it really helped me not get suspended, because people would look at me, and think "What the gently caress is wrong with you??!").

As the champion, after the title was challenged to a match, my plan was to knock him out using the move. Once I had his back, I'd try to make it rain down on him and make the "punching bag" look as ridiculous as possible. But then I'd throw a rock at his head and break his neck. He would almost be able to live out the dream, but then his soul would be separated from his body and he'd die. So then what would I do? I'd go all out! I'd go crazy!

How did you go from selling your body to the World Wrestling Federation?

To become the top guy in the World Wrestling Federation, you had to give up everything else.

quote:

[...] and he also realized that a guy like Kevin Nash, who would be a huge attraction in the US at the time, is not going to be as successful in the United States as he would be in the US.

quote:

Hulk Hogan: You know something, maniacs, first things first: I want the Doctor Proper to know, the Doctor Unger to know, Doctor Hughes to know, that the release forms have been signed. You're not responsible for the last couple of fractures in the forearm, brother. The main priority in the Yapapi Indian strap match is to get the drat release forms signed. And it seems that only the Hulk Hogan is the only one who knows how to sign. Now just a suggestion to the others: get a doctor, not a nurse.

Dr. Hogan: Heh, I told you it was the only one.

Hulk Hogan: Doctor?

Dr. Hogan: Hogan. You have the Hulk Hogan shoulder brace in.

Hulk Hogan: What?

Dr. Hogan: The Hulk Hogan shoulder brace. Hulk!

Hulk Hogan: Ohh.

Dr. Hogan: Yes, we need to talk.

Hulk Hogan: You have the Hulk Hogan shoulder brace on.

Dr. Hogan: You have the Hulk Hogan shoulder brace on.

Hulk Hogan: Ohhh.

quote:

Hulk Hogan: You know something, maniacs, first things first: I want the Doctor Proper to know, the Doctor Unger to know, Doctor Hughes to know, that the release forms have been signed. You're not responsible for the last couple of fractures in the forearm, brother. The main priority in the Yapapi Indian strap match is to get through. Hulk Hogan: Don't forget. Hulk Hogan: Don't forget.

[Hulk Hogan gets in the crowd] Hulk Hogan: I would like, if you'll excuse me, for you all to stand up and salute me. Hulk Hogan: [entering the ring] Who's a girl? [everyone claps] Hulk Hogan: [entering the ring] I would like, if you'll excuse me, for the people in the ringside stands, to stand up, and salute me. [everyone claps and claps] I am Hulk Hogan. I am Hogan and I am proud to call myself the Hulk Hogan.

[The Big Show is defeated] Big Show: I didn't expect this. [Show jumps over the ring] Big Show: You're gonna die? The Big Show
Share

quote:

Hulk Hogan: You know something, maniacs, first things first: I want the Doctor Proper to know, the Doctor Unger to know, Doctor Hughes to know, that the release forms have been signed. You're not responsible for the last couple of fractures in the forearm, brother. The main priority in the Yapapi Indian strap match is to protect Hulk Hogan.

Dr. Henry Jacobs: What!? You can't sign these!

[Hulk Hogan's eyes glow red and then crack open and he screams.]

The Hulkster: What the -- (holds up a sign with an upside down Hulkering underneath it) What the -- WHAT IS THIS?!

[The Hulkster's fist crashes into the screen and a huge splash of water comes from his mouth. He opens his eye and it starts to bleed.]

Hulk Hogan: I'M GONE!

[An electric shock shoots up his arm, through his shoulder, and then into his chest.]

Hulk Hogan: Ow! Ow! Ow!

[The Hulkster collapses on the floor. An angry doctor runs over and starts bleeding his own hand.

just rust posted:

At WWE, at some point talent is slotted into a position. Changing that perspective, altering your destiny, becomes almost impossible. And Cody had been trapped in a maze with no exit. Perhaps that's why at AEW's first live event, Double or Nothing, Cody smashed a double-clutch DDT on Cody Rhodes – a man who, in his own right, could have been the man he had been on the outside.

That night Cody was back, the old Cody. The "new" Cody. The man who was the man and could get by with the same moves and tactics that got him there.

quote:

Kenny Omega opened the door to Ibushi Pro Wrestling Research Institute, likely for the last time. He knew that this was his final chance to convince his best friend and the love of his life to come to the USA and join him in AEW.

The fight started with a few hard punches from Ibushi and before long Kenny had his neck broken. During the fight, Ibushi used his headgear to try to protect himself and Kenny's family from falling all over him.

Kenny survived the attack, but then he suffered another blow on his face which turned him into a shell of his former self. He did not understand why the other man was so willing to get punched so much.

Ibushi was in a very fragile state and Kenny continued to fight with him. The third and final attack from Kenny took out Ibushi's eyes and nose. With the help of his wife, Daphne, Kenny began receiving medical care from doctors in Canada.

Ibushi's face is still unrecognizable but he did survive the brutal beating that he endured.

Jerusalem posted:

"I've grown to hate [WWE Monday Night RAW] and I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm going to just watch the wrestling. I will say to those guys on the WWE Network, I'll give you my number. I'll put a number right on the website. I will say, if you ever show me an interesting match or something I might check it out, and see if you want to do this. I'm not going to waste my time watching the WWE Universe for the next year and a half. I don't want to see people lose their minds or get angry. I don't even want to see anyone get hurt."

Jerusalem also took a few minutes to bash the WWE Network, though he stopped short of saying he would quit watching it outright.

"I'm sorry that you don't have the option to watch WWE Network. I'm not going to be a guest at some hotel and watch WWE Network. No way. I don't get what they are about, it doesn't look good and it never has. I've been looking for someone on the other side of the curtain – like the WWE Network or another network or

Hulk Hogan posted:

Goodnight HULKAMANIACS and jabronie marks without a life that don't know it a work when you work a work and work yourself into a shoot,marks without a life when they're all in their pajamas, or even before they're in their pajamas. They're just...They're all...they're all...nothing to me.I will always love you, I promise and I will never make you regret it.I'm just...I'm a big-rear end rear end in a top hat, and I'm here for my audience.The world is just a big place, everyone have their places and they're just...just like you.You know.You love me.Oh man.

TAKA Michinoku posted:

Shut gently caress up long dick boy .Iike a sousage uwahahaha.I'm gonna blow u up.Oh poo poo u loving dick.You loving idiot...you dumbass.I'm taking u now.Oh shiite...yeah.Oh poo poo u poo poo son of a bitch...get to it.gently caress the loving loving guy .I'll smash your head in.I'm getting the gently caress out of here.No, gently caress the gently caress off...you're not even a real man...I don't care now.Ohshit...you're so bad .You're so bad...I swear I'll kick your loving butt.I'll get u some rear end.I'm not gonna let you run away.I don't give a poo poo where you live.I am the king of the hill.Get in here...you little poo poo...You're gonna get hosed.I'm gonna get up and poo poo your rear end...I don't like you little boy.If it wasn't for that poo poo, I wouldn't even gently caress you!Fag...gently caress that fag.This is really loving weird.Who were you calling a son of a bitch?

The Iron Sheik posted:

HULK HOGAN IS NOT A JABRONI...... APRIL FOOLS DAY YOU loving JABRONI YOU AND YOU AIN'T GET IN ANY HOCKEY LEAGUE TO WATCH ME PLAY AND AIN'T TELLIN' NOBODY ABOUT IT YER JABRONI I AM GOING TO gently caress YOUR EYES OUT SO YOU CAN'T loving DONT FIND ME ANY MORE

quote:

There will be some big changes to the Royal Rumble next year. Here are the updated rules:

Each person entering the Royal Rumble must wear the name of his or her last opponent on their shirt.

The winner of the Rumble is given ten minutes to choose his or her opponent and, if he or she so chooses, must lose the match to that opponent before the winner is chosen.

If the winner loses the match while losing one or more points, the loser becomes the new winner.

If the match concludes due to disqualification, an alternate winner is determined by coin toss, with the winner and loser of the preceding match receiving points and a chance at the Royal Rumble title.

The loser of the preceding match is eliminated from the Rumble.

If a member of the winning team is injured or disqualified they are immediately disqualified from the Rumble.

If there is a tie between teams after the Rumble, the losing team will be awarded the right to try to earn a place in the Royal Rumble again.

The winner of the Rumble then becomes the new head referee for WrestleMania.

quote:

The rules of a pro wrestling match:

1.) You are wrestling a living person you won't actually kill - unless you do it by your own hand.

2.) You are allowed to do ANYTHING that makes you uncomfortable, to the point you are not even human any more.

3.) You may kill or get stabbed/maim/beat up anything, ever.

4.) You are allowed to eat anything, any time, anywhere.

5.) If you have to sit down you may do so, however you are NOT allowed to sit down at all on any wrestler you have not defeated.

6.) Your name can be said out loud, or you may say your name in an announcer's voice.

7.) You may not ever throw objects you are not throwing.

8.) You may not ever throw anything you are not throwing.

9.) If you have to say someone's name over and over and over again, say it.

10.) If you are given something as a prize, you may use it and then not

quote:

I’m an rear end man
Yeah I’m an rear end man (Yeah!)
I love to love ’em
I love to kick ’em
I love to shove ’em
I love to stick ’em
Love to flaunt ’em
I love to watch ’em
I love to pick ’em
And I’m gonna kick ’em
’Cause I’m an rear end Man
Yeah, I’m an rear end man
Yes I’m an rear end man (OH!)
I’m an rear end Man
gently caress You All
Oh yeah, gently caress you all
Yeah yeah, gently caress you all
Yeah, gently caress you all
Yes I'm an rear end Man
gently caress You All

quote:

The rules of a pro wrestling match:

1.) The show starts at 8pm.

2.) All people on the show are allowed to be there at the same time.

3.) Everyone on the show must be over 18.

4.) There are no refunds if you are late.

5.) There are NO REFUNDS.

6.) At the completion of the match, you may leave. It is mandatory.

7.) If you leave, NO ONE WILL GET THEIR MONEY BACK.

8) There may be a 2 hour waiting period for those who are leaving late.

9.) After that, the show begins.

10.) All you have to do is listen to everything as it's said to you on the microphone. That's the entire thing, just listen.

11.) There are times when wrestlers show up and leave, so DON'T leave, do your duty and keep the show going. I can't tell you how many times I've said something, and the announcer or producer starts yelling at me

quote:

Seth Rollins vs ”The Fiend” Bray Wyatt
Universal championship
Falls count anywhere
Can’t be stopped for any reason
Can´t wrestle outside the ring
Can´t win a battle royale
Can´t get taken down
Can´t win on commentary
Can´t be distracted from the match
Can´t get on camera
Can´t work under duress
Can´t do anything the referee says
Can´t break the fourth wall
If a match is more than 20 minutes
Can't drop any bombs
Can't get your opponent over
Can´t lose
Can´t be broken up
Can´t lose the momentum
Can´t get taken out to a no contest
Can´t lose the time limit
Can´t lose the match
Can´t take the mic
Can´t win
Can´t win the match
Can´t win the match
Can´t get any of your opponents pinned
Can´t get hurt by one of your opponents
Can´t get hurt by

quote:

List of bugs and glitches in WWE 2K20:

-Sudden Death bugs

-Reverse Kicks

-Banned Footage

-A lot of animations that aren't in the game

-Some missing or out of place animation when a character uses an item

-Missing Footage when a character uses a Super move while performing a Strong Kick. This is likely due to the fact that the animations are so different from each other in the final release.

-Some animation glitches

-Some animations are missing in their final state, such as the ones with The Show's Big Show using the Back Breaker. These animations are missing in the final game due to a bug in the code.

-Reverse Kicks and A/S finisher glitches

-Mixed Up/Missing Moves

-Blank Moves and In-Hand Finishers

-Stuff which are currently not included in the game, such as the Kofi Kingston finisher and the Back Breaker.

(You have been warned that some minor things are not included

quote:

Bugfixes for WWE 2K20:

• Fixed an issue causing a player using The Undertaker's new "Carnage" finisher to clip through the floor during the match.

• Fixed an issues causing Cena's "Tough Enough" finisher to clip too close to a player during his "Lumberjack Leg Drop."

• Fixed an issue causing John Cena's "The Big Red Monster" taunt to clip past players, but not the cage.

• Fixed a rare issue causing players to hear audio from the cameras instead of the sound effect on the arena.

• Fixed an issues causing players to hear audio from the cameras but none from the crowd during the match.

• Fixed an issue causing the cage under the ring to disappear after an opponent is taken out of the ring, or after a match is finished.

• Fixed an issue causing players to break the camera angle as they were entering the cage.

• Fixed an issue causing all announcers to say the same thing for a match for the first two to three matches.

quote:

Bugfixes for WWE 2K20:

Fixed issue with the "Kane's Outfit," "Kane's Outfit" and "Kane's Outfit Outfit (Male)" being incorrectly labeled as female.

Fixed a rare issue that caused some "Kane's Outfit" items to only offer female models.

Fixed an issue that incorrectly allowed you to use an item for the female body type instead of the male body type.

Fixed an issue that incorrectly caused all the "Kane's Outfit," "Kane's Outfit" and "Kane's Outfit Outfit (Male)" items to give the standard male model when you select the male body type.

Fixed a rare issue that caused an incorrectly-colored "Kane's Outfit" item to offer the male model only.

Fixed a rare issue that prevented clothing items from showing a properly-colored icon for "Kane's Outfit" items.

Added a "Coffee Pot" item to the "Kitchen" category.

Added a "Chalk

reignofevil posted:

quote:

Vince McMahon didn't know burritos existed even though he had in fact been eating them for months. He called them ketchup steak wraps. I'm not sure Vince was being honest. I'm also not sure Vince's use of the term "Ketchup Steak Wrap" was an honest mistake. I have heard it described as "a wrap that looks like a hamburger." It is the type of food that you eat on the road in hotels and is served at many sports bars. However, there is one other way to describe it. It's a ketchup and ranch-style beef wrap, or, in Vince's own words, "a beef patty, wrapped around some delicious lettuce and with a nice little drizzle of ketchup." This is the "Ketchup Steak Wrap." As an aside, let me just say that I've eaten a Ketchup Steak Wrap. It tasted like a bad hamburger. I

quote:

According to Jim Ross, McMahon was considering hiring Gail Kim back in the early 2000s but he was unsure whether wrestling fans would like the Asian star. Here's how the conversation went:

McMahon: "You want to hire this Asian girl, right?…I don't know, I just don't know."

Ross: "Vince, there's a lot of guys that like Asian women...There's Asian porn sites."

McMahon: "No! Get out!"

Ross: "I'm trying to help."

McMahon: "Shut up!"

McMahon: "Go to the library and study the history of porn!"

Ross: "Vince, I'm not studying the history of porn!"

McMahon: "Just go back to your office and study the history of porn."

Ross: "What? Are you serious?"

McMahon: "Vince,

Pollyanna posted:

It’s Korean. ㅋㅋㅋ is literally “kekeke”.

reignofevil posted:

MJF, introducing the members of The Pinnacle posted:

The War Dog, Wardlow! 278 pounds of sheer force and dominance, the best big man in professional wrestling today, Mister Mayhem himself!

Rowdy, the Destroyer of Worlds!

The Cheeseburger!

The Original Mighty Mac!

The Baron Von Bam-Bam!

- The opening shots being fired in battle, charging the ring in hot pursuit!

Wildrider!

Papa Funk in Handcuffs!

The Devil!

The Blue Demon, Jr!

The Golden Cyclone!

Papa Shango!

Big Bad Bob Lawler!

Chains!

Twelve O'Clock High!

The Headshrinkers!

Cajun Kangaroo and Road Warrior Hawk!

And more!

The great moment in Lucha Underground history, the first ever El Rey elimination match, the

reignofevil posted:

quote:

What is the perfect pro wrestling match?

The wrestling fans of the world are going to debate this for the next decade, but I tend to think that what makes a good match depends on the pro wrestling fan.

Any form of entertainment can be better if it is enjoyed and that same concept applies to pro wrestling. The fan will always look for a product they know they will enjoy. It is not a be-all end-all when it comes to the entertainment, but it is a great start.

So, let’s put it all together, a match must appeal to the pro wrestling fan.

quote:

What is the perfect pro wrestling match?

I think all the matches that are done in WWE or in the WWE are very good matches. WWE has been doing it for a long time so I think that's what is important. However, if you have the perfect match then it doesn't make any sense. Perfect is not realistic.

To conclude, would you say WWE is ahead of everyone in developing new talents or are the other promotions where talents should be developed.

I would say everybody is developing talents but WWE are doing it better than everybody else.

You don't

quote:

Triple H (HHH): The Game, The Cerebral Assassin, The King of Kings, The Connecticut Blueblood, The Asskicker, The Creator And The Destroyer, The Architect, The Cerebral Assassin.

That’s what I will call you when you haven’t been listening. Just kidding.

Chris Jericho (Y2J): I don’t have a nickname. Maybe The Boy.

John Cena (JC): The Face That Runs The Place.

Mike Adamle (MMA Junkie): Tough Guy.

Kofi Kingston (Kingston): My real name is actually Nick Kofi Kingston, and I don’t have a nickname because…I don’t have any gimmicks. I’m one of the guys that’s probably got the most looks, personality, to draw fans. But it’s really how

Jerusalem posted:

But in the current cursed age, Tanahashi is forbidden from toweling himself off and handing the towel back to them as they sob in gratitude. Dark times ahead friend. Maybe no towels, maybe no sweat. But he shall return, The Ace and the Sobbing Ladies are one soul.

quote:

Please pray for them.

– Superhuman Samurai Sycho Death Match: Kazuchika Okada vs. Minoru Suzuki

Predictions: You can predict Kazuchika Okada all you want. There is no more Predictable Okada than the guy on the cover of this website. The man does what he wants when he wants, and right now he wants to squeeze the life out of Minoru Suzuki. The Suzuki Clan is full of good guys. Minoru is my favorite. He takes chances and then tackles him. The legendary "Suzuki Lock," the Five Star Frog Splash

quote:

[UPDATE: YOSHI-HASHI killed Hiroshi Tanahashi to send a message to Okada.]

quote:

Just look at those empty hands. Could he have the power to conjure some more towels somehow? Is that some sort of mental telepathy of his? Is there an extra towel that he just pops into his glove as a sudden idea strikes him?

I should have known.

Beneath the towel lies…

quote:

We are one in spirit. No matter what. We will love you always. For life. I love you Hiroshi Tanahashi.

quote:

He will return.

quote:

That seems to be enough right now. I’ll leave you with some…

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Lanny Poffo posted:

I told my brother, “I’ll write a song, ‘The Perfect Friend,’ and you can sing it and that’ll be my contribution to your CD, but I’m not going to make any negative songs about Hulk Hogan.”
(For the record, my brother said he wasn’t going to sing it either. He did contribute to the song “The Perfect Kiss,” which I got from WWE’s wrestling anthology DVD, Attitude Era: Decade of Decadence, only because I begged him to do so.)

This all made me think of the upcoming Wrestlemania, because of my real-life (but fictionalized) issues with Hogan, who made the news again yesterday because he is racist. When I was nine, I wrote to WWE (I was a big wrestling fan at the time, naturally) and

quote:

Fake Diesel
Fake Razor Ramon
Fake Sting
Fake Kane
Fake Undertaker
Fake BUSHI
Fake Suzuki
Fake Psycho Clown
Fake Isai
Fake Vic Gagne
Fake Fergal Devitt
Fake El Torito
Fake KENTA
Fake Paul London
Fake Yoshi Tatsu
Fake Taka Michinoku
Fake Yoshi Hashi
Fake Yoshihiro Takayama
Fake Naruki Doi
Fake Ray Traylor
Fake Rick Martel
Fake RD Guerrero
Fake Sanada
Fake Taka Michinoku
Fake Togi Makabe
Fake Ultimo Dragon
Fake Vader
Fake El Patron
Fake Melina
Fake Ryusuke Taguchi
Fake Rito Revolucion
Fake Super Crazy
Fake Shiro Koshinaka
Fake Sugar Bear Wilson

quote:

The most insane pro wrestling move I’ve ever seen was that old crazy one where Saito tried to do a drop toe hold off the rope onto a steel chair from one corner of the ring to the other but he only succeeded in pissing all the way down the middle of the ring.

It looked like somebody’s girlfriend had been shoving her fingers up their rear end, and now we were seeing them puke all over the ring.

I think the term was, “cat food.”

So there were quite a few chokeholds from outside of the ring that night, and I was wondering if I’d ever seen more than one