quote:

Kick down the cockpit door, Hulk Hogan. Shove the controls into a nosedive, Hulk Hogan. The Hulkster takes off, smashing into the steel framed cockpit window. Even though he has no control over the plane, Hulk Hogan is victorious.

Sources:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/show_an_obsolete_word?f=0

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/hulk-hogan-amusing-salmonella-case-article-1.3479771

http://www.teenvogue.com/story/hulk-hamana-banana-plant-snort-happiness

http://blogs.amoral.com/moldypundit/2012/11/13/hulk-hamann-look-alive-death-newborn-test-formula-underwear-p

reignofevil posted:

What a lot of people don't know about pro wrestlers is they have special secret names for moves they only tell eachother. WWE made them change all the secret names to really dumb secret names though and then they punish their roster for not knowing the "real" secret move names by putting them in embarrassing positions on TV when they don't do the moves right. They made Flair wear a goose suit and told him he had to eat poo poo off the floor. They made HHH go to the school to learn how to punch real people. They punished the Montreal Screwjob guys by making them wear a (fake) Harley Davidson jacket to have their shoot interview. They put Bret Hart in a big prosthetic body prosthetic that made him look like a cyborg. They made Shawn Michaels' cane shake while he tried to knock Bret Hart out. They made HHH get a job at a kitchen cabinet store, where he would periodically find poo poo and bring it in, such as knives, scalding pans, buckets of soapy water and toilet bowl scrubbers. They had Ric Flair come to the ring on a hoverboard. They had Eric Bischoff try to push Bret Hart out of the arena with a bear. Edge took some superhuman powers after a bunch of spears and tables and mounted the faces of the Hart Foundation onto a cannon. Oh, and John Cena was atop of the table that John "Bradshaw" Layfield shattered.

Match: Wrestle

quote:

Sting exclaimed, "All I have to say is, our partner is going to SHOCK the world, because he is none other than Green Lantern!

Yeah, 'member how when this great and beautiful man visited my partner at the station the other night, our minds played tricks on us and it was really Green Lantern?

Can you believe it? We have evidence to prove it!" Sting boasted. "We have his picture here. Did you see it?"

Green Lantern asked. He was known for his easygoing attitude, but it was difficult for him to hide his concern. Even the Commissioner chuckled to himself at the response of the interviewer.

quote:

Sting exclaimed, "All I have to say is, our partner is going to SHOCK the world, because he is none other than George Clooney!"

When Clooney heard this, he went absolutely berserk. He screamed "Stuff It, Trevor!"

"What are you going to do, Trevor?"

"I have an idea. I'm going to rip off the hat, and you can have the body, buddy!"

Stupid old Trevor always following what the Old Man said. It's how he lost his mind. Every morning he would start out by following the Old Man's orders. But as the day went on, he got weaker and weaker. What was the Old Man going to do?

quote:

Sting exclaimed, "All I have to say is, our partner is going to SHOCK the world, because he is none other than no-name who is reportedly being asked to be President of the United States!!!"

In the middle of a strong pitch, the Muppets looked out the window at the bus stop and saw Kermit standing in the rain.

Kermit said, "Jim, looks like you did make it through."

Sting replied, "Thank you, Kermit. I'm glad to see you. Do you know what it's like to go all day without eating?"

The bus stopped again and the Muppets found themselves in a full-blown marching band playing a local soccer stadium.

El Generico posted:

Fuckin WHAT?!

quote:

Meltzer rated Shingo Takagi vs Will Ospreay at Wrestling Dontaku a whopping six stars, joining a small and illustrious club of matches rated a full star beyond his former 5-star limit. Ospreay has a unique style that has been dubbed "escort wrestling", and his willingness to adapt it in order to stay
relevant and to have successful matches and angles with wrestlers he worked with over the years such as Eddie Guerrero, The Great Khali, The Great Khali, Rey Mysterio, Rey Mysterio, Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho and Drew Gulak, among others.

“The Mad King of Pancrase”, Takagi is known for his “hit and run” style that most wouldn’t want to even get near let alone to try to take him down. Standing at 6 foot 7 and weighing 200lbs, the former junior college All American wrestler stands tall above the crowd.

quote:

Rowdy Roddy Piper took one look at the debuting Saba Simba and said, "Wait a minute, hold the phone, that's Tony Atlas!"

- Waltman and the WWF had a bit of a falling out in 1991 and didn't speak for a long time after that, until a series of silly calls, court-ordered restraining orders and WWE paychecks got them talking again. The bad blood was evident when Waltman dragged down his shorts to reveal a Superfly snapback and pimp cane.

Waltman told Jesse Ventura that he'd waited over a year for a follow-up phone call. Waltman told Ventura that he'd been waiting a year for a phone call. The WWF countered with that

quote:

For his son-in-law HHH's birthday, Vince McMahon tweeted about some of the women he considers to be top female stars in WWE, and why they were so influential to the company.

"My personal favourite, one I thought we should have worked out in terms of the tease - you know, she comes out to a tease of 'let's go' and then she says 'no, no, no' and you're like, 'what the heck's she doing?' and then she comes out to 'I Am…' and you're like, 'She's still not going to say it, she's still not going to give it away,' and I'm like, 'Oh, I am!' and then she goes into, 'Dramatic pause, my name is Charlotte and I'm a three-time WWE champion," he said.

reignofevil posted:

"will will will will"

quote:

On the second episode of AEW Rampage, fans in a packed arena absolutely roared as "Cult of Personality" hit the speakers. However, in the biggest swerve in years, the person who emerged was not the hotly anticipated CM Punk. Instead, the person who walked out of the back was none other than the consummate pro wrestler, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake.

The crowd had been chanting for "CM Punk" to make his long-awaited return to the company ever since it was announced he was joining the roster. However, with over 20 years of experience under his belt, Beefcake was more than qualified to step in.

"Thank you to the people for that reaction," Beefcake told F4WOnline.com following the event. "You'll get to know me pretty quickly. I'm a pro wrestler. I've been doing this for many, many years and I feel very confident that I can back it up as much as anybody else and give them what they want. "I'm a professional and I'm good and I can wrestle. It's a good feeling."

Beefcake is currently in the middle of his second run with New Japan Pro Wrestling and is a fan favorite in that company. It was only a matter of time before he was able to reenter the American market, though, and his addition to the roster is sure to please those hoping Punk would get a chance to make a run with the promotion.

Some fans are skeptical of Beefcake as a viable option for AEW, though. He was forced to retire at the end of his last run with WWE in 2001 due to a contract dispute. He made a full recovery and returned to action with NJPW in 2012. However, his match with Adam Cole at NJPW's January 4th event at the Tokyo Dome was a blow to many AEW fans.

El Generico posted:

El Generico posted:

Sorry for double-posting

overmind2000 posted:

But Corbin interrupted Lashley and pointed out that it was yet another match where Balor is going to be on the losing end. He then asked him about the help of AEW, and he said that Lashley will fight Lashley in the ring alone.

Jerusalem posted:

Goddamn, Transformer has loving had enough

quote:

With Vince McMahon no longer interested in signing wrestlers from indie promotions or international promotions to WWE, NXT has been revamped specifically to push new homegrown stars. The new crop of NXT 2.0 is full of rookie wrestlers with such bizarre names as Ashfield Miranda, Spokko Turtle, Crowen Brickman, Clevva Christian, Hellcat Debra, and The Bensona Of The Wood and are all about the same size and weight (though Hellcat looks like a dude with tits) and are the quintessential little person wrestlers. While there have been some cute moments like the little person Sarah Bridges and Catawissa Finn from two years ago, these new little people are all serious hard working wrestlers. They’re really not that attractive though.

quote:

Good luck trying to get the devil to bring you anything if you're stuck sucking on a baby's poo poo.

quote:

A triumvirate of power in WWE now exists between Vince McMahon, Bruce Pritchard, and Nick Khan. The way they treat their roster of wrestling superstars can be gleaned from this leaked backstage conversation:

Vince: I agree that Roman Reigns should be the WWE champion forever.

Bruce: Yes, but what about Brock Lesnar?

Nick: He can be Universal champion forever. Really, they're the only two who matter anymore.

Vince: But if they're the only two who matter, how are they our world champions?

Bruce: Oh, yes. We'll just make it like the football championship. The champions will be chosen by voting. Vince, go out and talk to your fans about the best three guys to choose the new champion, then I'll let you decide.

Vince: Bruce, the fans would probably pick my son and son-in-law. Why don't we just let Roman Reigns keep the title until Brock comes back.

Bruce: Why don't we do something special, Vince? Have the fans vote on it, then when the next match is, if it's between Roman Reigns and Kevin Owens, I'll put the title on Roman Reigns. If it's Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins, I'll put the title on Seth Rollins.

Vince: Oh, you mean, "realistically." That sounds great, Bruce. But what if Roman Reigns wins instead?

Bruce: Is that a good thing, Vince? Why can't we just take the title and do something special with it?

Vince: There's no time for that, Bruce. The clock's running out. We're so close to WrestleMania. If we do something like that, we're gonna look like idiots, because we don't know how many superstars Brock Lesnar's going to lose to this year. If he loses a bunch of times, we're screwed. We'll have to have somebody else take his place. It's time for a new challenger. Roman Reigns is our champion.

[As the video runs, we see Paul Heyman backstage at Raw. He's working with Roman Reigns, and his theme song, the "Roman Sucks!" anthem plays.]

quote:

This week, AAA premiered the greatest sponsorship advertisement in the history of professional wrestling, Mayo Dip! Do. It makes you proud to be a Mayo man or woman!

Before I tell you the ridiculous backstory to the commercial, I must stress the importance of this word: Mayo Dip! Do! The Mayo Dip! Do has managed to transcend from a fresh, tangy commercial entity to an action figure. And I mean action figure! These Mayo Dip! Do’s have undergone a new wave of love and respect from toy collectors in the New York-New Jersey-New England area. Because I can find them at the local Best Buy.

This is all well and good, but this week’s cartoon goes beyond just a harmless jelly-covered Mayo dip ad. It has to do with Easter and my birthday! (Hence, the reason I am eating turkey leg and drinking ice cream.) But let’s get to the story of the rise and fall of the Mayo Dip! Do from the top!

First of all, I’ll just say this: Everyone deserves a Mayo Dip! Do! To be super honest, if I didn’t have allergies I’d consider adding dairy back into my diet. And my ice cream. And I’d eat a lot of Mayo Dip! Do!

quote:

Predicting the card for the newly added Night 4 of Wrestle Kingdom, in which NJPW takes on NOAH, AJPW, BJW, Dragon Gate, GLEAT, and DDT

: January 6, 2016 Time : 8:30pm
: 8:30pm Venue : Ryogoku Kokugikan (A traditional venue that opened in 1989)

For NJPW and NOAH, I see everyone’s favorite and current champ Minoru Suzuki reclaiming his title, but not with any overly complicated turn. I think Suzuki takes it with a decent overbooking showing off his wrestling and character. For NOAH, I see them going with another massive debut, and I think they’ll crown this guy this year and run him all the way through 2014. I expect it will be a long-term split with Suzuki on one side and Okada on the other, with Suzuki chucking shots and showboating to get a rise out of Okada, but ultimately agreeing to not give a chance to the other.

NEXT WEEK

Dean, Jeremy, & Ryan will analyze Rey Mysterio’s incredible performance at WrestleMania. Perhaps The Young Bucks will bring in Zeb Colter to help judge the match.

SIGNED TO APPEAR
Rey Mysterio
The Young Bucks
Eita
Naruki Doi
Bad Luck Fale
Jushin Thunder Liger
El Generico
BAMMA
Christopher Daniels
Daisuke Harada
Ken Hasegawa
KENTA
BAMMA
Daichi Hashimoto
BAMMA
Takuya Sugawara
Kai
Hiroshi Tanahashi
Michinoku Pro
Hiroshi Tanahashi
Tenryu
IRON MAIDEN

Matches & segments that aren’t listed will be added once they’re booked.

Mysterio’s theme song is “Just Say a Little Prayer.”

EXCLUSIVE

We received a sneak peek at Rey Mysterio’s wardrobe for the event.

http://drastapur1.deviantart.com/art/Trying-To-Recreate-4-Space-Monsters-a-Tuxedo-for-Rey-Mysterio-300003294215

Dean was quick to point out that he could fit into Mysterio’s tuxedo.

We can’t wait for Rey’s very own Halloween costume!