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It's my time to shine *draws COOL S on wall*
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 19:26 |
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# ? Apr 18, 2024 00:52 |
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EorayMel posted:... you sit quietly listening to what the fucktard is up to. Normally, he will do one of three things: 1) fake taking a piss; 2) wash his loving hands for an hour; 3) just stand around silently... No one wants to steal your turds, you paranoid fool. Thise guys are there to gently caress (each other). BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 19:31 on Sep 19, 2019 |
# ? Sep 19, 2019 19:27 |
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*sits on toilet long enough that the people who saw me walk in to poop have left*
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 19:28 |
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*starts conversation with anyone whose shoes I recognize*
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 19:34 |
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HEY JIM HOWS THE WIFE
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 19:35 |
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*sings the chorus from "Chemical Warfare" it's all so a threat and a promise*
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 19:36 |
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*watches sports on phone loudly*
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 19:37 |
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*Goes to the sink next to another dude washing his hands.* "HOW BOUT THEM HOGS!?"
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 19:41 |
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"Hey fellas you won't believe the splash-back i just had. It was like Thailand on boxing day lemme tell ya"
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 19:42 |
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EorayMel posted:a turd burglar. I've had the same delivery after gorging on street food in Thailand.
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 19:57 |
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After a half hour of pushing you wipe and stand up. Sweat spills down your brow and you're panting a little bit. Half way through zipping up your pants you realize that you feel unsatisfied, there's still a little bit more. Resignation sets in as you sit down again. This time you do not pull out your phone, you think your fingers went through the cheap toilet paper a little bit and that'd be loving nasty. Ten minutes later you hear, for the third time, someone open the door only to curse as they see that the only stall is still occupied. It makes you feel a little better.
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:06 |
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*doesnt flush so next person gotta look at my stew*
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:16 |
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Why did that cute girl have to sit so close to the bathroom doors. She saw me go in and if I stay for longer than a few minutes she'll know I've been pooping Oh man I really need to poop tho Maybe do a quick poop? Nah, this feels like a long one I'll hold it in and come back later. Oh gently caress that dude is looking at me I'm just standing here, looks suspicious Maybe do a piss? Too risky, i might poo poo my pants Blow my nose? Same hazard I'll just wash my hands and like.. wet my face or something, that's a valid reason to hang around in a public toilet, right? gently caress you guy Aaagh i really need to poo poo and fast I know! I'll get out all innocent, speed walk to my car, drive to another mall and poop there! Ain't easy this, life of a white man
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:21 |
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Ahhhh, now I remember that I had asparagus last night. *smiles contently*
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:30 |
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**realizes the roll of toilet paper is empty only after sitting down and starts pooping super-hard.**
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:35 |
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I'm the guy that walks up to a locked stall and tries to open it anyway and peeks over the top for some reason
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:36 |
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*Locks stall, starts putting up cockroach stickers under the toilet seat. Smiles smugly.*
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:56 |
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American Standard?? *Sigh* I prefer Universal Rundle.
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:58 |
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*removes shirt and pants*
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:59 |
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*cranks hog at urinal*
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 21:01 |
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:*considers putting dick through gloryhole* *is upset Emily Post never covered this situation*
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# ? Sep 19, 2019 21:10 |
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sudonim posted:*puts dick thru gloryhole, only to collide with another dick entering from the other side* Two dicks cannot exist in one gloryhole. It is known.
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 02:49 |
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Chinatown posted:Ahhhh, now I remember that I had asparagus last night. HOLY poo poo I'M loving DYING. Oh wait, I had beets last night.
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 02:54 |
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Sono posted:HOLY poo poo I'M loving DYING. I had this feeling one time the day after st pattys before I realized I drank like 10 pints worth of green beer the night before
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 02:58 |
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no twerking at all really
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 02:58 |
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Reads graffiti above the gloryhole, Roy Gerbils Gloryhole
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 02:59 |
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I always wanted to believe I wouldn't die in a public toilet stall, but in my heart of hearts I always deep down new I would. I proceed to get stabbed by the local super powered toilet hobo.
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 03:38 |
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Indy posted:You sit down to poo poo. After the deed you reach for the paper inside those loving drums on the wall. Lean all the way backwards until my face is buried in my rear end and suck all of the poo poo out of my rear end in a top hat.
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 03:40 |
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I was taking a poo poo at Panera's once, alone and peaceful, and a dude came into the bathroom. There was a half-inch gap between the stall door and the wall because the design was lovely. This dude stood in front of my stall and peeked in the gap. I could see his eye pressed up against it. He said "Helloooooo" in a weird low voice. We made eye contact. I told him to gently caress off. After several seconds, he did, and I heard him exit the bathroom. I'm pretty sure he was mentally disabled because as I walked out I saw him wandering around the hallway leading from the bathroom in an apparently aimless manner.
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 03:53 |
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:*removes shirt and pants* Was it you drying your shirt today at Randall's public toilet?
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 04:39 |
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*walks into stall and locks door* *farts graphically and violently just short of blowing out my rectum* *unlocks stall door and exits bathroom, but not before explaining myself to a random guy at the urinal* “What? I’ve been holding that one in for hours. Enjoy, my dude!”
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 04:42 |
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“loving hell”, Dave said to himself as he pulled away from the curb in front of the house that belonged to his (ex?) girlfriend’s parents. It really came as no surprise that she had made him drop her off there. Not after how he had acted at her work’s Halloween party. But he hadn’t even gotten drunk this time, Dave thought glumly. Not that drunk anyway. He came to the conclusion that it was the error was rooted in his poor choice of costume, the very same costume that he was still stuck inside. Dave had decided to dress as The Blob. Or as he had introduced himself earlier that night while stuffing food inside his mouth, “The BLAAAAAAAAAAAAWRBBB!!!”. Dave remained inside of his costume because there was really no way for him to remove it from himself. A second pair of hands was needed. So he was now 2 hours away from home and without any hope of getting out of this drat thing even when he did get there. Dave came to a stoplight in the middle of the suburban neighborhood. “Oh loving HELL”, he muttered. He had stuffed all manner of food and drink into himself that night as he took on his costumed role with gusto. And now he was paying for it. There was something very wrong with the pipes. Must have been one of those oysters. There was no way that he could turn around and knock on the door of the house that he had just dropped Kate off at. Dave sped up while desperately looking for someplace, ANY place really where he could blast one. He was saved. There was a public park right there, and though it was dark out he could see that these particular public restrooms had a chance of being left open. It was Halloween after all, maybe they left the doors unlocked for trick or treaters. Dave approached the door to the men’s room and paused when he thought he heard a small voice within. Did someone just say… “poopy”? It’s probably just a kid with a parent in there, thought Dave. Taking a break from gathering candy. Besides, the storm was brewing inside him and was quickly turning into a Category 5. He quickly passed through the door and found a stall. The actual act of sitting upon the toilet while still wearing his costume was difficult, but not impossible. With the way his stomach felt, it drat better be possible. Dave’s suit kind of wedged him in onto the seat of the toilet, but he knew he would at last find relief. “Poopy!” cried a small voice with a clatter of porcelain. It was from the stall directly next to Dave. He felt a little self conscious, as he was about to make the whole bathroom an uncomfortable place to be, but there was no helping it. Dave let his bowels go with the full fury of the gods. “Poopy DAVEY!” screamed the voice and this time it was underneath him. Dave reflexively jumped up but found that he was now stuck on the toilet. Probably the drat costume. “WHAT THE FU… unnngggghh” yelled Dave as his bowels churned again and he let out another full blast into the bowl. “Ha HA Yes POOPY DAVEY!” came the voice again and this time Dave knew for certain that it was coming from the toilet itself. He tried with all his might to remove himself from the porcelain, but there was a force, some kind of powerful suction that held its grip on his rear end. “More… poopy… Davey” and this time the voice came as a low growl. “I… I don’t think I have any more”, Dave whimpered. “I’m sorry, maybe in like 10 minutes or” “More poopy, Davey”, warned the voice, and Dave suddenly felt the suction increase tenfold. He felt a warm, circular cyclonic wind form around his anus. Though the suction was now quite painful, the air that was created around and inside his butt felt...good? Dave could not take much more of this and the public restroom faded to black. When the jogger found Dave in the public bathroom the next day, he immediately dialed 911. Though there was no mention of the details on the local news, the police report would tell of a man found dead on a toilet, wearing nothing but a blob suit, a wide grin, and a monstrous erection.
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 04:42 |
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person comes in talking in the phone, sits next to my stall still talking and peeing
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 04:51 |
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:uses poo like a brown crayon to draw obscene pictures:
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 04:54 |
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I'm not going to leave my stall until the other person leaves! *1 hour later* Is he still alive? *2 hours later* What the gently caress, fucker. Leave already! I gotta get back to work!
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 04:58 |
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I'm the guy who's trying to not laugh loudly when the guy in the stall next to me sounds like a a booster rocket from an Apollo mission is exploding out of his rear end.
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 05:13 |
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I used to have no problems using public bathrooms until my we did some reading activity in Japanese class in college about how Japanese women will flush constantly to cover up the sound of them pooping. Then after that I started getting really conscious myself, and now I struggle to pee at urinals when someone is next to me. Now I've potentially passed the curse of being self-conscious on to you.
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 05:19 |
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Shadow0 posted:I used to have no problems using public bathrooms until my we did some reading activity in Japanese class in college about how Japanese women will flush constantly to cover up the sound of them pooping. Then after that I started getting really conscious myself, and now I struggle to pee at urinals when someone is next to me. Nah, I'll gently caress up a toilet even in a crowded bathroom. Nothing like having other people breathe in your fecal matter.
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 05:45 |
*drunkenly pisses in sink because all stalls and urinals are occupied*
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 06:11 |
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# ? Apr 18, 2024 00:52 |
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*realizes I'm pissing blood and seize the opportunity to blood-piss YOUR'E THE MAN NOW DOG on the wall*
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# ? Sep 20, 2019 06:23 |