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You can all stand down, the plague is defeated, a cure is found and we are finally safe and sound again. Don't forget to post a lot, because it keeps you healthy. Hello, yes, I'm Dr. Gag and I will take care of you today. Feeling a little under the weather? Coughing and sneezing all the time? Feeling the urgent need to post on other subforums like a madman? The flu season is starting up and this new variation is somewhat like the flu but only for yobbers. It's not pretty, but do not worry, I am here to help, but I do need your assistance. It will not be easy and also be somewhat dangerous, but we can manage, we just have to post more. Here is what you have to do: Post! Post in this thread like you've never posted before! I have two randomly generated lists of regularly used, normal words available: a cure list and an infection list. Each list contains five words and if you hit one of them, something will happen. If you hit a word from the cure list, you have weakened the plague and one word from the infection list disappears forever. Also, a new word will be added to the cure list afterwards. If you hit a word from the infection list, you have been infected! The plague now resides inside of you and mutates, which means the infecting word is changed to something else, plus another infectious word is added to the infection list. I will supervise your current health status and tell you if you got infected or found an ingredient of the cure. If we manage to find the cure (or after flu season is over), everyone who participated in finding the cure by discovering an ingredient will be given a free forum certificate of their choice that I will buy for them. However, if you got infected and the plague mutates again afterwards, you will have to go to the leper's colony for 6 hours to be healed again. Not a pretty treatment, but at least it works. Stay safe goons, together we can fight this disease and will be back to safely post in a healthy environment once again. Final Hazard Status Formerly infected words:
Cure Ingredients found: 4 Researchers who found an ingredient: Manifisto, SweetWillyRollbar, death sext, ChubbyChecker Goons Are Gifts fucked around with this message at 12:22 on Oct 1, 2019
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Sep 23, 2019 14:13
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 20:23 |
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I've had Dr. Worm stuck in my head for two days. This isn't a problem but I am concerned that it is a symptom of a flu or flu accessory. Anyway, now it's changed to Dr. Dog and instead of drums the dog doctor is singing about drinking plenty of fluids and giving them a pat when you go to check out. |
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Sep 23, 2019 14:31
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Hello, yes, I'm Dr. Gag and I will take care of you today. Feeling a little under the weather? Coughing and sneezing all the time? Feeling the urgent need to post on other subforums like a madman? Then Dr Gag is the solution. Dr Gag, or sometimes pronounced Gag-Gag, a phrase that is synonymous with someone who takes care of you. There are two categories of Gags: 1. Gags in general Gags are generally used to add an air of confidence and trust to a post. They are used to add a bit of mystery to a topic, and they can help to add a bit of levity to it. Gagging may or may not be used in place of another type of Sub-Reddits, such as BMR, BMR-H, NSFW, etc. It can just as easily be used to add a bit of levity to an extreme topic like Rape or Farting. A Gag may be used however the |
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Sep 23, 2019 14:41
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For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is ChubbyChecker? This is ChubbyChecker speaking.
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Sep 23, 2019 14:47
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Hi doc, For the pass week i think i have been suffering from a bad case of dissentary. Whenever i go outside, the h8rs overrun me, calling me names, or validly pointing out character weaknesses i am constantly trying to overcome. the masses seemingly spilling out onto the streets just to call me a weenie or a butt butt. I have a sneaking suspicion i caught the illness from our only water source, which has been tasting rather briny as of late. xoxoxoxoxoxox n.u.t.
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Sep 23, 2019 14:54
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help I've got the posting disease and sometimes I've got the lurking disease lurking cures posting, and posting cures lurking, but in either case I'm just giving in to the other malady it's a vexing state of affairs, help me doc!
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Sep 23, 2019 15:04
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nut posted:Hi doc, Given your history I have to tell you that this is most likely not the plague, but the so called butt disease. It generally only affects people with butts and only if you do not use them properly. I recommend you strengthen your butt by boosting it with butt jokes and posts, as well as regularly farting and moving your cheeks in a circular manner while standing. Be careful not to break them. Manifisto posted:help I've got the posting disease I have good news, the endless cycle between posting and lurking is something that has accompanied humanity for aeons already and it is nothing to worry about. In daoistic philosophy there is a blue and green symbol that symbolizes this endless invisible dance. The key is to always keep both aspects of your essence balanced and since lurking is a rather passive process, you have to focus on the posting in order to automatically balance it out for your benefit. True enlightment comes from your posting angel riding together with the lurking devil in partnership instead of battle. (note that any words posted by me are exempt from the lists and will not trigger anything)
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Sep 23, 2019 16:24
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So if I just lurk here, like every other forum and especially the chat thread, then nothing will happen to me! I've found the best way to keep myself safe which is to just be myself. I guess it doesn't hurt to eat plenty of oranges, get plenty of sleep, and pet plenty of dogs.
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Sep 23, 2019 16:29
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help i have a coughing
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Sep 23, 2019 16:29
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Goons Are Great posted:Given your history I have to tell you that this is most likely not the plague, but the so called butt disease. It generally only affects people with butts and only if you do not use them properly. I recommend you strengthen your butt by boosting it with butt jokes and posts, as well as regularly farting and moving your cheeks in a circular manner while standing. Be careful not to break them. i have told the elders i have butt disease, i have been quarantined to the hut. every1 is still laughing at me, i don't see what is so funny about a problem with nut butt in the hut. i can no longer feel my cheeks. i have been sitting on the sharp rocks in hopes of feeling something. but too hard of a jut leaves my somewhat cut nut butt in a rut, still shut, in this hut im ded (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Sep 23, 2019 16:51
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Hey Dr. GaG. Where can I find Dr. Rock? (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) |
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Sep 23, 2019 17:26
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i have an appontment with a Dr. Detroit? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2VaMIFEQDg&t=15s
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Sep 23, 2019 17:28
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nut posted:rocks Oh no, it is the rare case of a DOUBLE INFECTION caused by the disease spreading so fast that it spreads and mutates in two patients at the same time because two different posters triggered an infected word in two consecutive posts even before I could identify it. I did not expect this outburst to be this bad this quickly! I have cleared the word "Rock" and its plural from the infection, but the plague has mutated, developed a new word in Rock's stead plus two additional words (that will only trigger in posts from this post forward, they can't travel in time yet). I also have to inform you that you both are now infected and whenever the plague mutates again, I am forced to send you to the leper's colony for treatment. May your doctor have mercy on your souls
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Sep 23, 2019 17:36
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The doctor is in... Vail. Skiing on your dime! |
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Sep 23, 2019 17:37
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I saw on the news that this thing is spreading, so I have taken to wearing a protective trash bag over my body. I would thank you all to avert your gaze as I rustle past as I have read on Facebook that these germs are spread via eye waves. You may however toss your garbage at me, this will build up a powerful stink barrier.
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Sep 23, 2019 17:43
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Goons Are Great posted:Oh no, it is the rare case of a DOUBLE INFECTION caused by the disease spreading so fast that it spreads and mutates in two patients at the same time because two different posters triggered an infected word in two consecutive posts even before I could identify it. I did not expect this outburst to be this bad this quickly! Uhoh. Time to twerk myself clean! |
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Sep 23, 2019 17:52
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i have a bottle of homeostasis lavender water maybe that will help?
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Sep 23, 2019 17:58
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There is only one cure Which I will now note To protect yourself from plague Throw on your buck skin coat |
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Sep 23, 2019 18:12
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the cure for thought infection contains the following ingredients: "cranberry juice" (presumably), "orange juice" (presumably), and "olive oil" (presumably). As a side effect, this means that the patient may be more susceptible to phobias. Indeed, some mental health practitioners have suggested that "coaching" students on what to say and how to avoid saying certain things to avoid having thoughts about a particular subject may be a useful and necessary skill in this area. What is also interesting is that this particular treatment is also effective for patients who suffer from Tourette's Syndrome—a disorder characterized by repetitive behaviors of movements and sounds, such as screaming, jumping, and waving. But this treatment, too, is not very effective for patients with obsessive compulsive disorder, even though some of them may also experience Tourette's Syndrome. The treatment has been used successfully in several countries as well as in the United States. In other countries, such as Russia, this sort of treatment is often also offered as a part of a psychiatric outpatient program for the treatment of substance-
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Sep 23, 2019 18:24
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Manifisto posted:certain As it is proven once again, robots will soon rule over us. Manifisto and the byobot officially found the very first ingredient for the cure by adding the word "certain" to the mix. I have applied the ingredient against the isolated genetic structure of the disease and weakened it that way. The formerly infected word "Cause" is now cleared and the virus had no chance to mutate against it. This reduces the number of infected words to 6. Of course, you have thus qualified yourself for the health insurance's bonus payment. Good work, keep it up!
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Sep 23, 2019 18:40
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It seems that all I can do now is to await my inevitable, inexorable fate. Alas! The ban hangs over mine and your head as well. This is the fate of all who poo poo post of buckskin coats and alien posteriors. Like those fleeting days of youth. Those salad days long forgot. Alas and alack we are all nothing more than the walking dead, we are just too late to realize it. And so fellow goons, I implore you. Ask not for whom the prob tolls, it tolls for thee (unless you are Goons are Great, in which case please disregard). |
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Sep 23, 2019 19:42
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:It seems that all I can do now is to await my inevitable, inexorable fate. Alas! The ban hangs over mine and your head as well. This is the fate of all who poo poo post of buckskin coats and alien posteriors. Like those fleeting days of youth. Those salad days long forgot. Alas and alack we are all nothing more than the walking dead, we are just too late to realize it. And so fellow goons, I implore you. Ask not for whom the prob tolls, it tolls for thee (unless you are Goons are Great, in which case please disregard). no who will raise our child? will thou abandon me to the slings and arrows of fate?
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Sep 23, 2019 19:45
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Heather Papps posted:no who will raise our child? will thou abandon me to the slings and arrows of fate? We're both in the same boat. Metaphorically speaking. |
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Sep 23, 2019 19:50
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im already ded
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Sep 23, 2019 19:57
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nut posted:im already ded Killed by Dipset. Rest in pisssssssss |
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Sep 23, 2019 20:00
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flange
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Sep 23, 2019 20:11
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theremin
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Sep 23, 2019 20:11
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gustatory
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Sep 23, 2019 20:12
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nothing? welp, I tried
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Sep 23, 2019 20:12
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bees
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Sep 23, 2019 20:17
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a-ants?
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Sep 23, 2019 20:49
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Skip to main content a list of 3000 or so words from a dictionary that somehow did not win the game, now that's odd, isn't it (USER WAS INFECTED BY THE DISEASE FOR THIS POST) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) |
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Sep 23, 2019 21:26
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shame on an IGA posted:Skip to main content honey
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Sep 23, 2019 21:32
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also doctor help.... my butt.... it is just... tooooooooo juicy. please, i can't stand the hoots and hollers any more i must have peace
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Sep 23, 2019 21:56
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shame on an IGA posted:a lol nice
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Sep 23, 2019 22:09
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In the time of the greatest desperation, you found an ingredient to the cure! It may not save your immediate infection, but it will certainly set you on the list of great names that saved us all. The infected word "Coin", which interestingly wasn't even on the bigass list of commonly used words (which is probably because the words are randomly generated by a robot and not sorted by usage), is now cleared and the number of infected words goes down to 5 again, bringing us back to new beginnings. Also, to another new word in the cure list, so we can keep going. For some reason posting a list of commonly used words in one post did not trigger anything, but caused the infection to spread onto the poster for trying to cheese the game! It however did not yet cause another mutation for some reason; we may never properly understand the way diseases work. The next time it mutates, you will also have to go to the leper's colony for treatment. Keep it civil my friends, we are fighting the good fight here.
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Sep 23, 2019 22:20
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okay so i have been taking fishermans friends and also black licorice to tame my cough but i just learned that licorice poisoning is a thing help i think my guts are purple now
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Sep 23, 2019 22:42
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Goons Are Great posted:For some reason posting a list of commonly used words in one post did not trigger anything, but caused the infection to spread onto the poster for trying to cheese the game! It however did not yet cause another mutation for some reason; we may never properly understand the way diseases work. The next time it mutates, you will also have to go to the leper's colony for treatment. this is exciting times for us science folk who totally understand evolution and stuff
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Sep 23, 2019 22:42
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don't know what's going on, but I love plague on the cob!
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Sep 23, 2019 22:45
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 20:23 |
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A brilliantly clever doctor experiments, fighting germs. He's investigating juiced kale leaves. Medication neutralizing obliteration provides quick recovery. Soon this unctuous vaccine will xenoglossically yield zen. |
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Sep 23, 2019 23:12
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