|
 ...I swear, it's the same face as this.  Too Human is a game planned, produced, and designed by a collective of fuckwits, and published by Microsoft. PLANNING: Announced in 1999, Too Human started as a long and epic Action/RPG for the PS1, with Silicon Knights riding high on the previous success of Blood Omen: Legacy Of Kain. Then, SK signed up with Nintendo to make some games for the GameCube, and took Too Human with it. In 2005 it turned out that Too Human was coming for the Xbox 360 as a trilogy of epic Action/RPGs on the Unreal Engine. Only one of them was ever released, in 2008, because... PRODUCTION: SK sued Epic Games for bad tech support. Epic counter-sued and won because in their spare time the folks at SK were taking Unreal Engine sources, scrubbing out Epic copyright notices, and using the code as their own. In 2013 Epic won so hard, Silicon Knights was ordered to recall and destroy all unsold copies of all its UE games, incuding Too Human. It wasn't a big loss, because... DESIGN: Too Human is a flaming pile of garbage people only bought for the hype and (after all the reviews rolled out) the "gamerscore." Technically no one is allowed to sell Too Human, but in the summer of 2019 perverse wizards at Microsoft made the game compatible with (and "enhanced" by) Xbox One, and put it up online for free. They're not selling it, they are giving it away! It's still way overpriced, though, as we shall see together. Let's play this poo poo:           
SelenicMartian fucked around with this message at 22:57 on Dec 2, 2019 |
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 18:48
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 05:07 |
|
|
Oh man, I heard about this game. Looking forward to seeing how it crashes and burns.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 19:49
|
|
|
Ah, fantastic, I was hoping that someone would finally do an LP of this... thing! Haven't watched the video yet, but I assume you will be leaving in all the death animations, yes? 
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 19:49
|
|
|
Ah yes, this game. I remember this. Granted I've never owned an Xbox but I do remember everything surrounding this game when it came out and what happened afterwards. That is certainly a clunky walk animation, for a second I thought the video had frame rate issues or something. Edit: I counted four instances of canned screaming in the opening... fight. Also the animations are soooooo baaaaaaaad. Cooked Auto fucked around with this message at 20:25 on Sep 23, 2019 |
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 20:08
|
|
|
...what on earth did I just watch? 
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 20:24
|
|
|
This may just be the most high profile shite game youve played yet. The Game that killed Silicon Knights  .....Rather, the gun by which they blew their heads clean off.I remember the hype for this game. For people looking for janky games with scifi norse gods: Give Immortal:Unchained a try! Its a drat sight better than this crap Rigged Death Trap fucked around with this message at 20:47 on Sep 23, 2019 |
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 20:26
|
|
|
Also... isn't this the game where the main producer started engaging in flame wars on gaming forums to prove the people wrong after everybody hated the game?
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 20:30
|
|
|
I'm surprised that the valkyrie didn't stop to hit on you before taking that dead guy into the ceiling-warp.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 20:50
|
|
|
Really glad to see this; the combination of reviews and unobtainable status give this game quite the reputation and one just can't help but wonder how bad can it be.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 20:56
|
|
|
I am Bald... er. I kinda want to like the whole techno viking angle but the execution is just so utterly bland and boring it makes Space Wolves from 40k not look tacky. Also, Grendel? Really? 
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 21:07
|
|
|
As years had gone by, the only thing I ever remembered about Too Human was this gem of a video. The dumb poo poo flinging contests on forums and between journalists back in the day really does highlight just how unremarkable and mediocre the actual game was. Because no one would've talked about it otherwise.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 21:08
|
|
|
I have the dubious honor of having played this game all the way through and while i dont remember any of it. I do remember the animations being god awful and everything in it being atrocious. Also that opening cutscene is just bad in every way. Glad to see you rolling through this Selenic im sure you will give it the treatment it deserves.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 21:10
|
|
|
Okay, whose idea was it for the menus to include that high pitched whine?
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 21:34
|
|
|
It's been a while since I've seen something so uncool.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 21:40
|
|
|
I love how badly animated the longass opening cutscene is, its so awful. I may have totally played this festering shitpile of a game when it came out, it doesn't get any better as it goes on from what I remember. The combat controls are so bad it makes the entire experience even more terrible.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 21:44
|
|
|
Oh man, I remember all the hype surrounding this game. I also remember a full-page spread in the Toronto Star about Dyack and SK, and how St. Catherine's was going to be the hub of Canadian video game development for years to come, just before Too Human's release. I'll see if I can track that one down and post it in the thread. I'm really looking forward to this LP! EDIT: I found the article! https://www.thestar.com/entertainment/2008/08/10/too_human_waits_over_for_game_almost.html I don't know if this is readable outside of Canada, but just in case, here are some choice quotes: quote:The company says the game is a hybrid of action and role playing, which means that there's both plenty of button mashing fighting along with opportunities to build up and customize characters, by acquiring skills. quote:Whether it can move past the hardcore gamers will determine what kind of a hit it will be. No matter where the sales figures end up, Dyack believes that the unique mix of elements sets Too Human apart. and perhaps the quote that dates this article most of all - or rather, its source (emphasis mine): quote:"Clearly [Silicon Knights] are a high quality developer. Clearly it's an eagerly anticipated game, but I just don't know. It'll sell its million units, I just don't know if it's going to sell five," says Michael Pachter, analyst on the video game sector for L.A.-based Wedbush Morgan Securities. However, the Xbox's creators, Microsoft, could use a hit that's exclusive to their system, to blunt the PlayStation 3's appeal, and online game play is also valuable. "This game hits both of those." theenglishman fucked around with this message at 22:08 on Sep 23, 2019 |
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 22:00
|
|
|
quote:it me
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 22:27
|
|
|
Solitair posted:It's been a while since I've seen something so uncool. turn off your monitor more often or you'll get burn in!!
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 22:30
|
|
|
I remember playing the demo of this years ago. I thought it was ok until I died. Then it wasn't ok anymore.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 22:36
|
|
|
SelenicMartian posted:
After just the first episode you have me convinced. The only thing I'd ever seen of this game was the Unskippable episode from years ago. I didn't expect the gameplay to have more inane dialogue than the cutscene.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 23:06
|
|
|
Chokes McGee posted:turn off your monitor more often or you'll get burn in!! I was talking about the game, not this LP, in case there was any confusion.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 23:07
|
|
|
when asked about what his favorite class in too human is, known sexual predator and all around shitbird denis dyack said that it wasn't in the game yet e: sorry, just one n in Denis. like Penis
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 23:22
|
|
|
Cooked Auto posted:I am Bald... er. Seconded. The Norse god mainly known for being super beautiful, being invulnerable to everything but mistletoe, and whose death starts Ragnarok, reimagined as a generic bald chiseled action game protagonist? For gently caress's sake they even got Freya's hair color wrong. From a "Norse mythology reimagined as science fiction" standpoint, the only character I kind of like so far in visual design is Heimdall.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 23:32
|
|
|
God, that opening cutscene is a loving endurance test, and it's only 9 minutes. It fails on every front. It looks awful, sounds awful, makes the protagonist look like a dumbass. If there's a monster on the loose, why can't he, you know, TELL the citizens. Evacuation is a thing? Also, if his sword was so bullshit as to just cut an arm off like that, why didn't he open with that instead of using the incredibly ineffectual guns. That running animation too. Well, all the animation really, but that one sticks out to me.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 23:39
|
|
|
Even Heimdall looked kind of boring and generic as well. There's barely anything viking or nordic to any of their designs. I mean the waitresses in the sleazy bar from the intro looked more interesting than all the Aesir so far. Everything else about them has just been bland black and gold designs with no stand out motifs or anything. Same goes for the soldiers. The berserkers are interesting but they're just a grey blob with some more skin visible instead of just a grey blob. Also using Odin for everything is just lazy and boring as well.
|
|
#
?
Sep 23, 2019 23:39
|
|
|
loving love Fiona Apple posted:I remember playing the demo of this years ago. I thought it was ok until I died. Then it wasn't ok anymore. I very much dont remember the death thing BUT also remember it being stupid. So im looking forward to reopening that pandoras box
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 01:18
|
|
|
this game is such a trash fire. you are doing this forum a service by sharing it
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 02:49
|
|
|
That intro was one of the most 2000's intros I've ever seen.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 03:50
|
|
|
My goodness. I had hoped you'd do another trashy action 'rpg' but this is something else. So... ah... Aesir Corp?
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 03:56
|
|
|
ivantod posted:Ah, fantastic, I was hoping that someone would finally do an LP of this... thing! There was a pretty big thread on it when it came out.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 03:57
|
|
|
Too Human It's a video game (not a game spoiler) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nA7GK-48sR8 C-Euro fucked around with this message at 13:03 on Sep 24, 2019 |
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 04:03
|
|
|
I kinda liked the game when it came out, though it definitely had pain points (dying...hooboy). I sure can't tell why anymore, though. Saying it's aged badly is overkind.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 04:48
|
|
|
C-Euro posted:Too Human I don't see how this isn't related
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 04:57
|
|
|
ohhh, this is going to be a whole thing, isn't it?Non-Organic Rational Nanosystems posted:This honor roll incorporates all those who have fought in the name of Odin. These valiant souls will be long remembered in your world.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 05:21
|
|
|
Oh gently caress me this has durability?!
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 05:53
|
|
|
What the gently caress even was that video
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 06:03
|
|
|
My favorite thing about the combat animations is that the guns have no recoil.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 08:53
|
|
|
This game... THIS GAME... I am one of those rare people who played all the way through this dumpster fire of a game and actually enjoyed themselves. The complete and total jankiness of the entire thing for some reason really connected to my unmedicated depressed self. Funny enough I have almost no memories of the game though.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 15:40
|
|
|
I watched the video before sleeping last night and all I actually remember is "Oh, gently caress off." Thing is, I know I was awake the whole time I was watching it, I watched some other stuff afterwards. It just slides out of my memory.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 15:47
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 05:07 |
|
|
What really gets me (even more than from the durability system, which is a plague upon videogame existence) is how little game there seems to be; as far as I've seen, it's cutscene after cutscene after cutscene, interspersed with boring gameplay bits. I mean, take that second intro cutscene, right? It could've been so much better- not to mention shorter- if they'd just went began with the dudes complaining about Aesir, then the monster attacks, after which Baldur (clearly out of breath from pursuing the fucker) proves dudes wrong as he rushes in after the beast and caps its rear end. Cut most of the landing craft scene, smush meeting Freya and Heimdall into a single cutscene if it's so important, and cut most of Sexy Norn's dialogue to match the length of the other two. But hey, maybe they thought they needed all that wannabe-Star Wars guff and faffing about because they knew the gameplay sections couldn't make up for squat. And those character designs, fuuuuuck, it's like the dudes that brought us Eternal Darkness thought their audience was exclusively 12-year old boys.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2019 16:49
|
|