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teen witch
Oct 9, 2012
Title says it all, thanks to the r/relationships thread for this endless fount of :stonk: yet again.

Keep in mind that some of what could be mentioned veers hard into really upsetting poo poo so be smart for the love of god, goons, I’m begging you.

(These were posted in the aforementioned thread)


AITA for calling out my father's other woman in front of her son and class?
I (17F) caught my father cheating on my mother a few months ago. He left his iPad in the living room and it kept dinging. I went to turn it off because it was irritating, and saw tons of messages from a very familiar name, all extremely romantic in nature. Who is this person, you may ask? She's a math teacher at my school, Ms. L. My father works in the IT department for my school district, and as far as I had been aware they were just friendly coworkers. Clearly I was wrong.

I didn't waste time telling my mom. To be entirely honest it was partly out of spite due to how emotionally abusive my father is. My parents separated, he moved out to live with her. They're planning to get a divorce after my mother renews her American residency, she isn't a citizen and being married to one just makes it easier. This all happened in May and I've had almost zero contact with my father since then. I obviously also had no contact with Ms. L.

Well that is until I mysteriously got placed into her math class. This makes no sense considering I should be in Trig/Algebra 2 and instead was placed into her Pre-Cal class. Part of my father's job is organizing student's classes, so I believe he put me in her class intentionally and on her request.

As soon as the school year started, it became clear she was trying to earn brownie points. She was always especially nice to me, always offered me any help, always gave me weird out of place compliments. Stuff like "Did you do something new with your hair? It looks great!" when I didn't even properly brush it that morning. It annoyed me but I just let it go because I didn't want to cause any trouble, especially because her son is in the same class. Until today, I just snapped.

At the beginning of class we're supposed to walk up to her desk and give her finished homework. When I did this, she gave me some dumb little compliment. I just told her to stop. Ms. L looked confused and ask what I meant. I don't remember exactly what I said word for word, something like this: "Stop trying to win me over. You knew my dad was married and still got with him. You're nothing but the other woman to me. Honestly, you did us a favor, you can have him, but stop acting all buddy-buddy because I will never like you."

I wasn't loud or anything, but there were people around me who heard it. Of course because it's high school, everyone who heard started whispering to everyone else and soon enough my entire class knew. I personally don't care if people know, but I know it'll ruin her reputation with students. The only person who seemed more shocked than Ms. L was her son, who refused to look at her through the rest of the awkward class period. I don't think he knew that his mom's new boyfriend is a married man.

I kinda feel bad for her son, but to be honest I think she deserved to have people find out, even though that wasn't really my intention when I said it. AITA here?

teen witch posted:

I went to a HS like that. My principal was caught cheating on his wife with not ONLY the head of the English department, but also a parent of a student. The principal came to my district after something similar happened in his previous one, apparently.

This was all found out when the husband of the cheating wife hired a PI and it was quite messy.

What sucks is that he was actually a decent principal and the poor student who had to contend with the principal loving his mom was insanely nice.

Darkhold posted:

Ok I'm going to tell a story about my hometown but be warned there is murder/suicide in it. I swear all the details are true as far as I know them.

One night the cops get a call about a woman running half naked down the road. They pick her up and find her car down the road on fire. She claims to have been abducted by a man in her home who murdered her husband. They drive to the house find her children tied up and her husband on the floor murdered. They untie the kids and the kids are like 'holy poo poo mommy came in with a ski mask on and shot daddy and tied us up'. They confront the woman she runs upstairs grabs a gun and kills herself.

She was an english teacher at the school I used to go to. She was having an affair with the coach and tried to stage a murder of her husband (as far as anyone can tell the coach had nothing to do with her plan). She just did it very badly. Said coach somehow didn't get fired or quit but even later went on to become the princple. I don't remember the the woman teacher but he was my coach in PE class and my history teacher.

Another story:
BEFORE I went to school we had a teacher shoot another teacher in the leg because he walked in on his wife (yet a third teacher) having sex with him. He actually did quit and opened a photo studio where if a highschool student went to him he'd give them a T-Shirt saying 'I was shot by Mr Larson'. They were still popular when I went to Highschool a few years later but they were banned in the actual school. Edit: Just for detail Mr Larson fired one shot deliberately into the ceiling and one shot into the guys leg. I forget what he was charged with but he did dodge attempted murder because of where he aimed.

Another beloved coach was fired because he was getting drunk with his students. There were huge protests about it until he came in and did a big speech about knock it off. I bet he nearly dodged criminal charges there were vague rumors of him doing drugs with students as well.

In short my highschool was a constant cesspool of teachers having affairs and occasionally shooting people. There's actually quite a few more stories but I'm pretty sure people will just think I'm making poo poo up if I keep going. Plus not really the thread for it I guess.

Kite Pride Worldwide posted:

In Grade 3 through 4 we had TWO teachers named Ms. Seimen and Ms. Seimens respectively. The astounding part is that I never heard anyone make a crack about their names, even once :psyduck: They were pretty heartless bitches though, so maybe everyone was too scared to, at least in earshot.

tactlessbastard posted:

I had a Spanish teacher pull a chef's knife out of her drawer, stab it into her desk and declare 'I'm off my medication and could cut every one of you faggots' throats without the slightest regret'. She left the knife there and spent the rest of the period sipping on vodka in a Sonic cup and every time someone made a peep, she would gesture towards the knife.

Unfortunately that happened in 9th grade so that wouldn't qualify for the hosed up grade school thread.

HIJK posted:

the only hosed up thing that happened at my school was when the colorguard teacher would get drunk and go to his ex’s house begging for their attention. think he was arrested for a DUI.

I guess there was also the alcoholic pedo choir teacher.

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Darkhold
Feb 19, 2011

No Heart❤️
No Soul👻
No Service🙅
Alright well I might have to think a bit to come up with all of them but here's another two off the top of my head.

In highschool one kid owed some money to some local drug dealers. They found him shot in the head in a field the gun 20 yards from the body. The cops ruled it a suicide. We then had to sit through a few suicide prevention classes. That was a depressingly common thing for us. For a small highschool we had alot of 'suicides'. Most of them real I believe but that one goddamn. After shooting yourself you always throw the gun 20 yards from yourself. It's called the fencing response I believe.

One day I was driving to class and had a cop car scream past me on the road. I came in and the teachers were hustling all the kids up to the second floor instead of the commons area. Found out later this dorky kid that was horribly bullied shot himself in the bathroom (survived). There were alot of rumors about what happened but the one I believe is that he had started carrying a gun to murder either his bullies or some girls that mocked him in PE class the day before and when he went into the bathroom to adjust it the gun went off and shot him in the leg/possibly stomach. I had actually encountered that kid like two days before when he sort of crossed the hallway at an angle and kinda elbowed me in the stomach. I nearly shoved him back but didn't bother. To this day I wonder if he was packing that day. This story is also weird because it happened before school shootings were a thing. Can you imagine now adays having a kid shoot himself in the bathroom and they don't even evactuate the school but let us in and ten mins later sent us to class?

Thought of a two more typing those out.

More typical small town. The week before the big homecoming game two of the best football players got loaded and went apeshit in the downtown area destroying storefronts. They did something like 30k worth of damage before caught. Not only did they not get into any serious trouble but they were allowed to play the big game. Can't let crime get in the way of football. And it's not even like our highschool had some big national team or anything. We were lucky if we won state.

Final story shortly after the horrific dragging death of James Byrd (this will date me if anyone knows that story) our football team made a float for homecoming that had a black dummy drug behind the car with a noose around its neck with something written on it about how we're going to do that to the away team. Shortly before this thing went live someone with a brain got wind of it and forbid it. Of course nobody was punished and it was hushed up super quick.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
I don't think people go to grade school at 17 :shrug:

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

In 6th grade they tore up the field we had recess in and started planting new grass. There was a big pile of rocks that had been dug up and placed away from where most of the kids played. One recess we were playing football and a kid threw it extremely far out of bounds. A kid runs to grab it and keeps his eye on the ball the whole time. We all realize the ball is going to fly beyond the rock pile and start screaming at this kid to stop.

He doesn't. He runs right into the pile of rocks and just kind of crumples to the ground. A teacher realizes what happened and runs over to grab him. He pulls the kid up and the kid's entire face is covered in blood, his arm is hanging funny, and he's screaming. He came back to school a week later with a broken arm, multiple chipped teeth, and a broken rib.

In 4th grade there was a mentally handicapped kid named Paul(looking back I think it was autism but we were dumbfuck kids so we didn't even try and relate to this poor kid) that a few bullies picked on constantly. Called him every name in the book, insulted him constantly, and this kid just kind of took it. One day three bullies start picking on this kid and start calling him "Paul Fairy" (again, we were dumbfuck kids so this was the height of humor to these kids) and this sets Paul off. Paul just starts whooping rear end, throwing punches and kicks and knocking people to the ground and stomping on them.

He was a little guy but he absolutely destroyed three kids who were considerably bigger than him. Then a teacher, who was a huge rear end in a top hat, comes in and chokeslams the poor kid into a locker and starts screaming at him. The bully kids didn't get in trouble at all but Paul got placed into a different school for the rest of the year. He was back the next year and would wave at those three bullies really sarcastically every day, so that kinda ruled.

Glasses Optional
Apr 23, 2019

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

teen witch posted:

Title says it all, thanks to the r/relationships thread for this endless fount of :stonk: yet again.

Keep in mind that some of what could be mentioned veers hard into really upsetting poo poo so be smart for the love of god, goons, I’m begging you.

(These were posted in the aforementioned thread)


AITA for calling out my father's other woman in front of her son and class?
I (17F) caught my father cheating on my mother a few months ago. He left his iPad in the living room and it kept dinging. I went to turn it off because it was irritating, and saw tons of messages from a very familiar name, all extremely romantic in nature. Who is this person, you may ask? She's a math teacher at my school, Ms. L. My father works in the IT department for my school district, and as far as I had been aware they were just friendly coworkers. Clearly I was wrong.

I didn't waste time telling my mom. To be entirely honest it was partly out of spite due to how emotionally abusive my father is. My parents separated, he moved out to live with her. They're planning to get a divorce after my mother renews her American residency, she isn't a citizen and being married to one just makes it easier. This all happened in May and I've had almost zero contact with my father since then. I obviously also had no contact with Ms. L.

Well that is until I mysteriously got placed into her math class. This makes no sense considering I should be in Trig/Algebra 2 and instead was placed into her Pre-Cal class. Part of my father's job is organizing student's classes, so I believe he put me in her class intentionally and on her request.

As soon as the school year started, it became clear she was trying to earn brownie points. She was always especially nice to me, always offered me any help, always gave me weird out of place compliments. Stuff like "Did you do something new with your hair? It looks great!" when I didn't even properly brush it that morning. It annoyed me but I just let it go because I didn't want to cause any trouble, especially because her son is in the same class. Until today, I just snapped.

At the beginning of class we're supposed to walk up to her desk and give her finished homework. When I did this, she gave me some dumb little compliment. I just told her to stop. Ms. L looked confused and ask what I meant. I don't remember exactly what I said word for word, something like this: "Stop trying to win me over. You knew my dad was married and still got with him. You're nothing but the other woman to me. Honestly, you did us a favor, you can have him, but stop acting all buddy-buddy because I will never like you."

I wasn't loud or anything, but there were people around me who heard it. Of course because it's high school, everyone who heard started whispering to everyone else and soon enough my entire class knew. I personally don't care if people know, but I know it'll ruin her reputation with students. The only person who seemed more shocked than Ms. L was her son, who refused to look at her through the rest of the awkward class period. I don't think he knew that his mom's new boyfriend is a married man.

I kinda feel bad for her son, but to be honest I think she deserved to have people find out, even though that wasn't really my intention when I said it. AITA here?

Yes

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit
In 3rd grade I convinced a girl to throw a rock through the window of our classroom.

Good Ol Filbert
Jun 10, 2019

In 3rd grade, I wore my school pride shirt and got in line for my free eraser toy during lunch recess and they ran out right when they got to me. I still think about it to this day.

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012
I had a friend in middle and high school, Gabby.

She had a mother who deserves to post on RejectedParents until the day she croaks.

Gabby was a tough gal with a really good heart, and her mom, who was a someone or other for the District, was not keen on that. Gabby’s mom wanted a nice, docile girl, not some unholy terror who listened to rough bands like Good Charlotte.

Anyhow in 8th grade, Gabby wouldn’t do something or other in class, and her mom was called. Gabby was in her next period class when her mother was outside in the hallway, and busts in, grabs the 14 yr old girl by the hair and drags her outside of the classroom to berate her and in the middle of loving social studies.

What was kind of disgustingly comforting was that most of the other kids, especially that bore witness, felt super sympathetic and were like “uh no that’s hosed up”, and the adults did nothing, minus the teacher who was like trying to teach. He looked like Tony Hawk and was really nice.

Last I heard she has a kiddo now and adores them. I hope she’s doing well, she went through poo poo because of her terrible mom.

Kite Pride Worldwide
Apr 20, 2009


Good Ol Filbert posted:

In 3rd grade, I wore my school pride shirt and got in line for my free eraser toy during lunch recess and they ran out right when they got to me. I still think about it to this day.

We had some reward system in my G1-4 school where you'd go to the principal's office and get a prize for doing really well or somesuch, and one day, instead of a lovely book or eraser or whatever, a kid in my class came back with an entire boxed Game Boy game. I think it was Tamagotchi. I don't know why it was there as a prize or what he did to deserve it, but I don't think anyone else ever received something of such caliber before or after. I don't think the faculty understood what they were doing.

------

In Grade 5 or 6, we had a creative writing assignment, and a classmate and his friends decided to write a joke book. I looked over and saw that they had only managed to write one joke, under the subheading of "Easy" (why a joke book would have difficulty ratings is a warning in and of itself). I will never forget it as long as I live:

"Why did the elephant cross the road?
To have a ball."

:psyduck:

Kite Pride Worldwide fucked around with this message at 15:16 on Sep 24, 2019

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY
In fourth grade I got to live an Alfred Hitchcock movie for a whole afternoon.

It must have been near winter because it was the first day our school turned on it's heating system. This drove out a swarm - a swarm, I say - of birds that had apparently been nesting there. After a bit of research the staff concluded they were "chimney bats" which is the name for a swift, which is a small bird about the size, shape and color of a bat. They fly similarly to bats as well, in tight wheeling spirals. The better to catch small bugs.

Well, they must have had their babies in there because the birds did not wish to leave. They just made this sort of funnel cloud over our school and kept hovering there until recess. A pretty sight, but it didn't occur to any of us kids that they might be a bit distressed as their babies steadily got warmer and more parched.

So a couple of white-trash morons get the bright idea to pick up damp clods of earth and start hurling them at the birds. My friends and I see it from a distance and the response was pretty swift (:dadjoke:). The little guys started coming down on us like freaking stukas, attacking every kid in sight. Our bastard coward teachers went inside to figure out what to do. Also probably to laugh at us because what the gently caress, kid?

Most of us scrambled into whatever cover we could find, with the morons being joined by a couple other morons who figured no sweat, we can take on the Bird Force. They are promptly proven wrong as the little swifts have nothing to lose and are already full of rage since their young are in danger. They tried to beat a retreat to a sort of lincoln-log jungle gym where some of us had taken cover, but we pushed them out (with plenty of verbal abuse the stupid fuckers deserved). Finally the teachers brought us back inside and the school nurse had to treat several wounds from the dive-bombed. Fortunately for them, a swift's beak is really short and small.

I remember seeing several little dead birds with broken necks outside and feeling pretty angry at my fellow students who thought it was just another cool recess. By the end of the day the birds seemed to have given up and went on to seek another home. In the end, the school decided to just leave the drat heat on until spring so we didn't have a repeat of the incident. Good job, morons.

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!



We had an arts and crafts teacher who was rather... effete. Married to a woman but that didn't stop some of the students from referring to him as 'Chester the Molestor'.

It made the news that he was arrested at a nearby park for attempting to solicit sex from an undercover policeman.

He was back to teaching the next school year, but hoo boy did referring to him as 'Chester the Molestor' ramp up.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Man that lady sounds like a real biotch op, you should shove your dad’s tablet up her b-hole and page it a few times lol.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

One day in 3rd grade a kid looked out the window and said "There's a man outside!". And there was, a big fat guy walking towards the school with a rifle. There was a dense forest out there, so presumably the guy just walked out of the woods.

The teacher told us all to get down, then ran out into the hallway and started yelling at all the other teachers. A few minutes later we were curious enough to look out the window, and a cop car had pulled out into the field and was talking to the guy. The fat guy eventually gets in the back of the cop car and is driven away.

Of course a ton of rumors started up that day, but nobody knew for sure what happened and it was pretty quickly forgotten.

But then a few years later I'm talking with my parents about things that happened in elementary school and I remember that event. My dad goes "Oh you mean that girl's dad who wanted to commit suicide?". Turns out the fat guy was the dad of a girl in our school, he'd just gone through a divorce with her mother and lost all custody, and he planned to walk up to her classroom and either blow his brains out in front of her or have a cop kill him in front of her. It all hit the news, which I never watched as a kid. Wonderful stuff, great dad.

Roberto_Silencio
Mar 9, 2004

lets start advertising and make us some real money
The only thing hosed up that I remember in school was junior high where there was a gym teacher who was referred to as "Balzark the Man Lover", which was pretty creative for junior high. He'd make everyone shower after every gym class, even if we didn't do anything athletic, like picking teams or whatever. Eventually he was arrested for molesting a student.

you broke my grill
Jul 11, 2019

I got in trouble for farting in class which was totally not fair because it's an involuntary bodily function

Pickwick High
Aug 4, 2019

They call me Nutse
We had this strict rear end in a top hat teacher who everybody hated. One day we're taken to the gym where the principal tells us that this teacher had been driving his car in the snow and two boys threw snowballs at his car he had a heart attack and died. We felt pretty bad about hating him then

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017
I took my dick out in the middle of kindergarten and my teacher gestured to me and mouthed "put that away" so I did.

I also flunked and had to repeat kindergarten.

the two events may be related.

lurker2006
Jul 30, 2019
Bit of a cheat since it didn't technically happen at our school. We had a "science" teacher who was actually a glorified gym teacher that taught an intro to physical science class. She was one of those typical jock party girls, only ever had a couple actual lessons from her on the days our principal was observing. She got let go at the end of the year due to parental complaints. The big news on the first day of school the next year was her getting arrested for loving a mentally handicapped kid at a summer school program.

Another incident was a freshman fight club organized by upperclass men. It was a full on gambling ring, the freshmen were recruited by offering the winner a small cut of the winnings and a chance to settle grudges. Ashamed to say that I wasn't cool enough to ever get invited to the fights. Ultimately resulted in a few short inschool suspensions after a kid got a concussion, but I imagine the punishment and story would have been bigger in today's climate.

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


So when I was in 3rd grade we had two substitutes, Mrs. Straub and Mrs. Berry. No loving poo poo. Pretty sure we all made fun of their names, but definitely not in front of them because we were all convinced they were evil twins.

Anyway Mrs. Straub got fired after dragging one Sam Shoemaker down the hall by his ear.

We also had a kid bend down to get crayons in front of a school bus and get run over and paralyzed. I remember her riding around in her wheelchair after that. The old guy that ran her over lived on school property in a trailer with his wife, one of the other five or so bus drivers. Elementary school was super loving weird.

Empty Sandwich
Apr 22, 2008

goatse mugs
elementary school was pretty calm. all the horror stories come from middle and high school

Smiling Mandrill
Jan 19, 2015

Our school was in the middle of the ghetto so seeing passed out people on or around our playground was pretty common. Usually they didn't call the cops, a teacher would just go out and tell the person to gently caress off school property.

We had an old lady who lived on the hill above our play ground. Some days if we were really loud she would come down to the fence, and throw food at us while cussing. She was out of her mind crazy. Teachers just told us when it happened to get away from the fence, and play out of her throwing range lol. She either got sent to a mental institution or died over the summer because between my fourth and fifth grade years she vanished.

When I was in little league we had a old stinky guy who'd come and watch all of the games. He would ride his bike over, and hang out all day. Never talked to anyone, and kept too himself. Still, mom always told us kids to stay the hell away from him. Turned out that the reason he smelled so bad was because he had been sleeping in the same bed with his dead wife for a few years. Supposedly when they found her she had been mostly eaten by the hoard of cats living with the guy.

Another kid we'd always see driving around town on a riding lawn mower. He was around my age but he never went to school. He was always dirty as hell, and looked like a mechanic. Rumor was that his dad kept him out of school and forced him to work mowing peoples lawns during the summer, and repairing lawn mowers in the winter. Never did talk to him, or find out if it was true but it wouldn't surprise me if it was.

There were also tons of times recess was held indoors because a street gang, or some homeless teens took over our outdoor basketball court. I remember one time one of them was screaming and waving around a gun. Our principal actually went out and talked to them and convinced them to leave. Still one of the bravest things I think I've ever seen and the older I get the more impressed I am by his actions that day.

The_Franz
Aug 8, 2003

At some point we had a "fun" assembly in association with a local radio station and one of the gimmicks was that one kid won the chance to hit the principal with a pie. Now, this was obviously rigged as the principal was behind one of those wooden boards with a hole in it that only exposed her face, like those things used to take goofy photos, and the "pies" were whipped cream in those flimsy tin foil pans that had no chance of hitting anything at the distance the kid had to stand.

Naturally the first few throws landed on the floor nowhere near the target, and when he was down to his last throw he decided to rush her and hit her point blank. As he began his approach the principal naturally started to flee but was too slow. As his mashed the pan of whipped cream into her face she slipped on the floor and went down hard. That put an end to the day's festivities and got the kid suspended for several days, which was a fairly extreme punishment for a suburban catholic school where just the threat of sending a letter home was usually enough to bring kids to tears.

That principal was a huge bitch that everyone hated though, so it was pretty satisfying to watch her go down.

AreWeDrunkYet
Jul 8, 2006

Don't all "pie throwing" events devolve into mashing a plate of whipped cream directly into someone's face? That's all part of the fun.

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy
So, I went to a private Christian school. Super small. I will never forget being in about the fifth grade and our science teacher telling us that we were going to skip the next few pages of our science book. Why's that? Well, she was taking with the principal (my mother) about if they wanted to teach that or not. My science teacher was arguing heavily for it, but she never could get mom to agree.

Us being children read them on our own, because FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE! Wanna guess what it was?

Meiosis.

They were debating whether or not to teach us how reproduction happens between humans on a motherfucking cellular level. I am not kidding. I desperately wish I was kidding.

No, we didn't have anything that could remotely be construed as sex ed. You do that at home! (hey, mom, remember how you never had The Talk with me ever? You know drat well I got no sex ed. Do you think I still don't know where babies come from??)

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
During a middle school concert, a classmate's mother stepped out into the hall to go to the bathroom and witnessed a teacher kissing his boyfriend. She snitched and he got fired. Sounds pretty lovely, but typical for a little podunk conservative town school, right?

Nope! This was at an elite liberal school! But I guess there's always limits to tolerance and acceptance.

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

My command, your wish is

you broke my grill posted:

I got in trouble for farting in class which was totally not fair because it's an involuntary bodily function

be honest, did you intentionally make your fart loud af?

everyone with a butthole knows you can make rude farts to be disruptive

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

My command, your wish is

double post so i'll add something i guess

in 4th grade (i think) one kid got into serious trouble because he made a video for an assignment that featured him as blackface mlk

Percelus fucked around with this message at 17:43 on Sep 24, 2019

snergle
Aug 3, 2013

A kind little mouse!
my highschool english teacher went through a divorce and started day drinking and not showing up to school. he had a ta who was learning to be a teacher and before the divorce was teaching one period. he was forced to teach all the classes. Before his divorce he was an amazing teacher and i requested to go into his class because of how cool he was.

our principal was like 70 yrs old and played doom all day on his amazing gaming rig in his office delegating all his work to the three assistant principals we had. one was a petty tyrant who would measure your pants to see if they were to long and against dress code. and im pretty sure she was a pedo because she measured from the inseam down and rubbed her hand against my junk on the reg. the other was a lush. the third was an over worked hard rear end that eventually became principal of the elementry school down the street from my house. our school cop as in an on duty cop in uniform who has his own office in the school was drunk or high at all times so we had a weird dude in a hawaiian shirt ride his 10 speed around doing the cops actual job.

the guidance councilors were pretty sweet though. highly over worked but good at their job.

snergle fucked around with this message at 17:55 on Sep 24, 2019

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


Oh yeah! One of my best friends changed high schools because of a mean girl situation. A teacher at her new school got caught loving a 15yo student. Pretty sure teacher and student are still together and this was like fifteen years ago.

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

We had a PE teacher in elementary school who went through an apparently messy divorce, which led to her being all around angrier and grouchier. She also took her maiden name back, Furie. Miss Furie was a terryfingyly on-the-nose name for her for a while. I'm pretty sure she got better because I remember her being super nice again a few years later when my class was heading off to middle school

Ralph Hurley
Aug 3, 2009

:barf::sweep::zoid:



In 3rd grade one fine spring day there was a big dog with no visible owner running around the play field. All the kids got excited and looked out the window at the dog while the faculty discussed what to do about it in case it was a dangerous stray and not just a lost pet, because it was almost time for recess. The dog wasn’t leaving and the kids noticed it had an enormous set of balls that flopped around as it ran. Every third grader found this hysterically funny. The adults got the animal to run off and recess proceeded as planned. Some kids got the idea that the dog had rubbed its balls on all the playground equipment and according to kid logic if you touched the slide or whatever you might contract some strain of dogballs cooties.

The Klowner
Apr 20, 2019

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

teen witch posted:

I went to a HS like that. My principal was caught cheating on his wife with not ONLY the head of the English department, but also a parent of a student. The principal came to my district after something similar happened in his previous one, apparently.

This was all found out when the husband of the cheating wife hired a PI and it was quite messy.

What sucks is that he was actually a decent principal and the poor student who had to contend with the principal loving his mom was insanely nice.

We definitely went to the same high school

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Somewhere in middle school, I had a reading teacher named Mr. Egan. Every day, he would stand before the class and tuck his shirt into his pants and touch his genitals in the process. I'm talking his arm was halfway down the front of his pants which was a feat considering how fat he was. There were also rumors that he kept porn in his desk. During tests and the like, he'd like to prowl up and down the isles and let his bulk loom over us. During a parent-teacher conference it was revealed that I had not held back in my scowls of contempt because he told my parents that if looks could kill, he'd already be dead.

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

My command, your wish is

Percelus posted:

double post so i'll add something i guess

in 4th grade (i think) one kid got into serious trouble because he made a video for an assignment that featured him as blackface mlk

also i don't think he was doing it to be edgy or offensive, i think he honestly thought it was the best way to portray a black person on film

when i went to see my first r rated movie in theaters it was diehard 3. my brother and i kept asking what a n word was because of that one notable scene and my parents keep nervously avoiding it especially because as my brother remembers a black family was sitting just in front of us

while there definitely are racist sentiments among white middle class suburbanites they are aware enough to avoid any "vulgar" displays of racism to the point their children are completely ignorant of what slurs mean or the historical context of blackface until media teaches them

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


Dazerbeams posted:

During a parent-teacher conference it was revealed that I had not held back in my scowls of contempt because he told my parents that if looks could kill, he'd already be dead.


Ahahaha

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Kite Pride Worldwide posted:

"Why did the elephant cross the road?
To have a ball."

what the gently caress

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Geez, all I can think of that's even close to hosed up is when my brother clocked a bully in the nose just before a choir concert so we had to sing with blood all over our white shirts.

milkingmycow
Mar 28, 2008

by Cyrano4747
My 3rd grade teacher moonlighted as a prostitute. One morning she showed up extremely late and drunk in fishnet stockings and a leather miniskirt. That was her last day.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

My 12th grade English teacher was a weird, shifty guy in his 20s who nobody could figure out and disappeared by the end of the first week. Word quickly spread through the school and it eventually became a local news item that the administration found his personal blog filled with vitriol toward life and schools, including bragging about faking the drug test for the teaching job.

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Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

In my senior year of high school, my English teacher Mr. Larson once told us his road rage stories. This guy was pretty proud of it too, which is horrifying because the most memorable one was him detailing how he ended up reaching in through the other guy's driver window and ripping the turn signal right out.

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