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my 4th grade teacher was the babadook and he sucked me off in the remedial classroom
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Sep 24, 2019 18:20
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Oh, we once caught an English teacher trying to discreetly sniff markers during class. Seems illicit at first, turns out he was colorblind and got scented markers to tell them apart.
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Sep 24, 2019 18:22
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Smiling Mandrill posted:Our school was in the middle of the ghetto so seeing passed out people on or around our playground was pretty common. Usually they didn't call the cops, a teacher would just go out and tell the person to gently caress off school property. Sometimes I really regret not having grown up in a city.
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Sep 24, 2019 18:28
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My parents moved to some backwater town. First day of 1st grade I walk in and the first thing I hear is a kid yelling "DANIEL POOPED HIS PANTS!" Daniel was extremely upset and threw a pair of scissors at the girl and knocked over his desk before he was hauled out Nothing else too crazy, well apart from an 8th grade teacher getting outed for lewd conduct with a minor, but I was out of school already a few years when that went down
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Sep 24, 2019 18:30
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When I was a sophmore one of the senior boys got caught having sexual relations with a freshman girl in the school bathroom. He was expelled (after a a few months of deliberation), and she ended up dropping out due to be harassed by her peers. I still think about them sometimes. I hope he's in jail, and I hope she made it out alright.
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Sep 24, 2019 18:34
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There was a contest of sorts when I was in 2nd grade where we could win a bunch of candy if we could choose a topic and give a specific in that topic for every letter of the alphabet (ie. Dogs: airedale, beagle, etc.). My chosen topic (in 1987) was video games. I just made up a bunch of titles, secure on the knowledge that none of my teachers would know the difference. I was right and won a bunch of candy. 
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Sep 24, 2019 18:39
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I can't remember any particularly hosed-up elementary school stories. I did have a high school English teacher who had a reputation for being an alcoholic. Rampant rumors about either a bottle of booze hidden in her desk, or just chugging NyQuil from the bottle. Whatever, kids say dumb poo poo all the time. One day I stuck around class to talk about something, and out of nowhere she said "i know i have a bit of a reputation as something of a lush, and i just wanted you to know that it's not true, although i do enjoy a nip at the bottle now and again" at which point I immediately excused myself from the conversation saying I needed to get to my next class. teen witch posted:Well that is until I mysteriously got placed into her math class. This makes no sense considering I should be in Trig/Algebra 2 and instead was placed into her Pre-Cal class. Part of my father's job is organizing student's classes, so I believe he put me in her class intentionally and on her request. lol what the hell kind of clownshoe school district has their computer janitors doing class assignments Also I remember at the school district I used to work at, the director of curriculum and now assistant superintendent started dating the high school principal. I have no idea how that gets approved as not a massive conflict of interest.
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Sep 24, 2019 18:40
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The only other one I have is that in fourth grade we learned about the Trail of Tears, the violent and brutal forced migration of native Americans that left thousands dead and a magnitude more displaced in a near uninhabitable wasteland. We were put into groups and told to creat something that represented that period of American history. My group made a board game. We all got an A+, and got to present our board game to the principal of the school.
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Sep 24, 2019 18:45
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KillerJunglist posted:There was a contest of sorts when I was in 2nd grade where we could win a bunch of candy if we could choose a topic and give a specific in that topic for every letter of the alphabet (ie. Dogs: airedale, beagle, etc.). Why didn’t you just choose letters of the alphabet as your topic Or if that wasn’t allowed, words that are in the dictionary as your topic Also it seems like video games is easy mode to do it legit anyway. Q-bert, Xenophobe, and Zelda already have your hardest letters covered. In conclusion, you were a horrible and lazy child.
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Sep 24, 2019 18:50
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My high schools cheerleading team had a big scandal when they went off to some competition and had an orgy of sorts in their hotel room, the cheer coach already had a few strikes against her for tacitly letting them party at away games, plus she was loving our admittedly hunky basketball coach. It all seemed like a sleezy Fox primetime drama tbhFarmer Crack-rear end posted:I can't remember any particularly hosed-up elementary school stories. That teacher sounds cool and you missed a good opportunity
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Sep 24, 2019 18:53
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bird with big dick posted:Why didn’t you just choose letters of the alphabet as your topic bird with big dick posted:In conclusion, you were a horrible and lazy child. The candy was delicious
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Sep 24, 2019 18:56
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i had a like third or fourth grade math teacher whos teaching method was basically just making us do one a couple pages out of a math workbook every day and nothing else, being a natural born goon i completed said workbook in a day or two and started reading a book in class, which brought her to frothing screeching rage, and was made only worse when i was like "yeah look i did all the work already" and then i stopped bringing pencils to class after she checked all my work and i refused to continue filling out the workbooks at the same pace as everyone else and she gave me multiple disciplinary detentions what the school system and my parents took very seriously eventually resulting in her heatedly calling my mother in front of the entire class and demanding that i not be allowed to have a birthday (????) because i once again didn't bring a pencil to a class i didn't need one for it was like another brick in the wall but dumber on all sides
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Sep 24, 2019 18:56
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The Cockler posted:i had a like third or fourth grade math teacher whos teaching method was basically just making us do one a couple pages out of a math workbook every day and nothing else, being a natural born goon i completed said workbook in a day or two and started reading a book in class, which brought her to frothing screeching rage, and was made only worse when i was like "yeah look i did all the work already" and then i stopped bringing pencils to class after she checked all my work and i refused to continue filling out the workbooks at the same pace as everyone else and she gave me multiple disciplinary detentions what the school system and my parents took very seriously eventually resulting in her heatedly calling my mother in front of the entire class and demanding that i not be allowed to have a birthday (????) because i once again didn't bring a pencil to a class i didn't need one for Had the same thing in 7th grade but for whatever reason out was literally months on end of just quadratics. Page after page of "here's two of the variables do the math to find the missing one." So I programmed the graphing calculator we barely used any of the advanced functions of to do it for me. I even made it "show is work" step by step for me to copy down. Once she saw me use it I had to take every test with no calculator.
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Sep 24, 2019 19:05
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My sister was born with a heart defect when I was in third grade, and I was out for a few weeks while my family went a few hours away to a hospital better equipped to operate on her little baby heart. It was all very uncertain and exhausting, but the operation was a success, albeit requiring monthly checkups and the lingering fear that her new heart valve could fail at any moment. I returned to class drained and very emotional, and when my awful teacher Mrs Wren saw me back at my desk she said "I'm glad you're doing better. Actually, I guess you're fine, it's your sister who was in the hospital.", at which point I put my head down on my desk and quietly cried inside my arms.
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Sep 24, 2019 19:05
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I got made fun of. Like really badly. To the point that I'm somewhat lucky to be alive. At times I get calls from former bullies from over 20 years ago apologizing for how they treated me. I also had a bad relationship with my older brother and my parents were very distant. 
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Sep 24, 2019 19:07
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SeXReX posted:Had the same thing in 7th grade but for whatever reason out was literally months on end of just quadratics. Page after page of "here's two of the variables do the math to find the missing one." they took the phone out of her classroom because i wasn't the only kid she'd try to publicly humiliate by making the entire class watch as she angrily whined about them on the phone to their parents, most of which were disciplinarian and would side with her no matter what, as she had such broad reaching authority. it wasn't until she basically hysterically demanded that i not be allowed to have a birthday that was weeks away that anyone was like "okay no seriously what the gently caress is wrong with you"
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Sep 24, 2019 19:09
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In 4th(?) grade the couple computers we had in the library had those keyboards with the removable key caps. Not the whole key, just the plastic cover cap that had the letter on it. Being the dork I was, I already knew touch typing and thought it was hilarious to take them all off and mix them up. Even the faculty couldn't use them after that. I remember overhearing my parents talk about my prank a few days later, and my dad saying something about how he thought it was actually pretty funny. He was right. Never got caught and to this day don't know if the folks know it was me. Edit: I know this isn't a hosed up story, but this thread reminded me of it
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Sep 24, 2019 19:10
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I had a Spanish teacher in highschool who already didn't have much control over his classes who, for a reason I can't understand or comprehend to this day, admitted to my class he was still a virgin. He had no control over any of his classes for the rest of the year. He didn't come back next year.
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Sep 24, 2019 19:13
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After I graduated, my high school went through some changes being way stricter with allowing anyone who wasn’t a student on campus. Two years later I biked over to give my younger brother some extra credit work he forgot on the last day and one of the deans (who didn’t recognize me) initially thought I was a truant student, then began threatening to have me arrested for trespassing. I just kept refusing to tell him my name and eventually biked away because he wouldn’t do anything. A few years later it made the news when he got arrested for domestic violence and was caught on the 911 call trying to stop his wife from calling the cops.
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Sep 24, 2019 19:15
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the opposite story of this was in middle school i had this science teacher who was just doing her best and as far as i know was always on my side but there was like some minor thing in one of the textbooks she had been teaching out of that had been recently proven wrong or a newer more accurate theory had emerged (i have no idea what it was) and i spent the entire class arguing with her and then bawling because i knew i was in the right and she was like "okay but that's not what you're being tested on" and then after the class ended she obliged me enough to look at the article i had read and be like "oh. i guess i was wrong."
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Sep 24, 2019 19:15
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Roundup Ready posted:In 4th(?) grade the couple computers we had in the library had those keyboards with the removable key caps. Not the whole key, just the plastic cover cap that had the letter on it. Being the dork I was, I already knew touch typing and thought it was hilarious to take them all off and mix them up. Even the faculty couldn't use them after that. My friend Todd and I rearranged the keys on our middle school Spanish teacher's computer. She apparently saw us because she pulled us out of math class later that day and marched us to the principal who said we were stupid to deny it because this was a "touchdown" for how much evidence was stacked against us
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Sep 24, 2019 19:17
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One of my highschool's Spanish teachers had a PhD and got really mad if students didn't address her as Dr. I think it was my junior year that she left under mysterious circumstances that turned out to be that her husband had died at home and she was just living with the body and continuing to teach for a while
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Sep 24, 2019 19:20
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Well, some of you have posted HS related stories, so I may as well drop this one. Didn't happen at my school, but I did know the teacher in question. My dad taught with this one guy, Mike, who was a history teacher. He was pretty chill, though had a bit of a reputation as a ladies' man, despite being married with kids. Hadn't really given him much thought in a decade. Last month, my brother texted me out of the blue saying 'Masecchia is fuuuuuuuuuuuucked', and sent me a link to a news story. Cops raided his home, seized $28,000 in cash as well as:  He'd apparently been trafficking marijuana and more for the past twenty years.
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Sep 24, 2019 19:25
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Back in 7th grade, we had 3 bomb threats within a two week period. For each one, we were marched outside to wait until they gave us the all clear to go back inside. All of these happened during the last period of the day. One of these bomb threats seemed to last longer than usual. All of a sudden, all of the school buses showed up in the parking lot. The administration told us to immediately get on the bus and go hom, leave all of your things behind. So we all left. The school was still standing the next day. The administration never gave us any information about what the supposed bomb was, if there was actually any explosive material. Also that same year, we had the DC sniper scare (we were nowhere near any of the attacks, but we did go under lockdown because of him one day), as well a teen threatening to attack the school with a stockpile of weapons filling up his house.
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Sep 24, 2019 19:28
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Coach cut his thumb off with a circular saw and from there on everyone would ask for a high-four and a half.
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Sep 24, 2019 19:30
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coronatae posted:One of my highschool's Spanish teachers had a PhD and got really mad if students didn't address her as Dr. My high school AP Psychology professor had a doctorate. He was funny but really cruel and bullying to people he disliked or thought he could rib, which included me. He issued giant reams of homework that required you to read every chapter in advance, which obviously didn’t sit well with having homework from other classes, and denigrated anyone who couldn’t finish it. His son was in his class as well and they walked to school together every day. I found out a year or two ago that he had suddenly taken an “unexpected retirement.” His son had attempted to rape a drunk girl at a college party and he got the call from the police at his birthday party. I was linked to a Tumblr post calling him out and posting his texts admitting to it.
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Sep 24, 2019 19:32
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There was a kid in my grade school named Pat who was a psycho rear end in a top hat bully. The kind of kid who had a military buzz cut in 2nd grade, wore full camo to school, liked the phrase “whut are you lookin’ at”, would punch other kids in the stomach unprovoked, bring a toy machine gun to school (1980s, nobody cared lol) and pretend to rob you with it, and he used to follow me home from the bus stop and throw rocks at me and my sister. I hated Pat but I regrettably never tried to fight back. One school year began and I noticed Pat was gone. Moved away or something and I was thrilled. gently caress You, Pat. Fast forward to senior year of high school. I was on my way to becoming a full time stoner and was hanging out with druggies and dropouts and going to parties. I began hearing tales of a brain damaged acid head hippie dude nicknamed Itchy Scratchy. From the stories I heard, this guy was considered an idiot even by high school druggy standards. But he always had weed and acid and people used to let him hang out and watch him trip out and say crazy poo poo about talking to spirit deer. When I finally crossed paths with Itchy Scratchy, I realized he was Pat. In his long absence from my school, Pat had transformed into the crunchiest hippy-pants nitrous huffing Grateful Dead following clown I ever saw. He did not seem to remember me. He had become chill and funny and harmless but part of me was wary he still had some psycho inside and it would be best to avoid him. Fast forward a few more years and Pat Itchy Scratchy was in the news, found shot in the back of the head in the desert after what police concluded was a bad drug deal since he had just withdrawn several thousand from his bank account before disappearing.
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Sep 24, 2019 19:34
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LadyPictureShow posted:Well, some of you have posted HS related stories, so I may as well drop this one. Didn't happen at my school, but I did know the teacher in question. I think "grade school" stories works better with a HS cutoff, when stuff's still referred to by grade. Just avoiding the "yeah we got totally stoned in college" stuff.
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Sep 24, 2019 19:35
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The 7th grade social studies teacher at my school was ...well, let's call him Mr. Harrison since I don't really remember his name. Mr. Harrison was approaching 70 and the type of person where if you looked at his face on any given day, you could tell if you were in for one of his good days or one of his bad days. On a good day, he might make a few jokes or even smile during class. During a (much more frequent) bad day, expect him stomping around his room, occasionally turning to us and mumbling out something that sounded like part of a lesson interspersed with passive-aggressive remarks. And then once in a blue moon, there was a really bad day. This particular really bad day came after us shithead middle schoolers had spent the past week or so spreading rumors that he ate potting soil and was banging the 8th grade English teacher in the teacher's lounge, which he undoubtedly caught wind of. At the end of the day at that school, everyone went back to their homerooms to wait for their bus numbers to be called over the intercom. My class had done just that, and as we were sitting at our desks, suddenly from the end of the hall where his classroom was: BANG! ...Immediately followed by every kid in his class screaming and running down the hallway like Godzilla was attacking. As it turns out during that really bad day, one of the kids in his class had taken a seat and kicked his feet up on a desk while he waited for his bus. Mr. Harrison ordered him to put his feet down, and the kid refused. This was the last straw that day, leading to Mr. Harrison grabbed the kid's desk, yanking it out from under him, and throwing it past the kid and at the nearest wall as hard as he could, hence the BANG and everyone in his class running for their lives. To this day, it amuses me to picture a wiry, bespectacled man in his late 60s picking up and hurling this behemoth at painted cinder block out of sheer rage:  According to my younger sister, he was still teaching there several years later before he retired. And no one spread rumors about him ever again.
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Sep 24, 2019 19:37
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Percelus posted:be honest, did you intentionally make your fart loud af? it was an accident because I was laughing loudly at something unrelated at the moment and I temporarily lost control of my butthole
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Sep 24, 2019 19:40
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I learned how to jack off from 9/11
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Sep 24, 2019 19:43
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New Title hosed up stories from grade school: I temporarily lost control of my butthole
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Sep 24, 2019 20:00
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Fiddler on the Reef posted:I got made fun of. Like really badly. To the point that I'm somewhat lucky to be alive. At times I get calls from former bullies from over 20 years ago apologizing for how they treated me. 
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Sep 24, 2019 20:04
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idgi?
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Sep 24, 2019 20:15
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I could have sworn I read a school story from these forums where someone witnessed a kid do a Razor's Edge on another kid from like the bleachers onto the floor in gym class while waiting for the gym teacher. As for me, it was rumored that our 6th grade science teacher was a mega pedo and would drop pencils on the floor by the girls only to pick it up and run it along their legs.
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Sep 24, 2019 20:19
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Sep 24, 2019 20:26
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I had undiagnosed ADHD and autism as a kid, and teachers either hated me or loved me. We did those workbooks in 2nd grade, and I would get bored as hell and just not do them because I already was past that level. My teacher tried to give my mom a talking to about it at parent teacher night, and my mom gave her poo poo about how it wasn't my fault I was bored, and it was her job to teach me, not keep my busy. Teacher ended up crying. In third grade I had another teacher who hated me. Gave me poo poo about my handwriting. Told me it would never improve once I got any older and just was on me all the time. Involving my mom constantly about that and me missing school (I was legit sick a lot). Ended up with the principal involved telling her to leave me the gently caress alone. Fifth grade teacher just randomly hated me. Literally every other kid in the class got student of the week, and then she skipped me to start over again. Looking back, I probably had problems from undiagnosed dyspraxia for the handwriting, and the boredom was obviously ADHD. I guess because I was smart I couldn't possibly have learning/developmental disabilities. I also got bullied a lot, but since my mom told me to just physically fight back and would tell the school to go gently caress itself when they tried to punish me for it, most kids stopped getting physical at least. One kid was always getting in fights and obviously had problems at home. He was sent home from school on Halloween for showing up in blackface. This was the early-mid 90s. He also broke his middle finger and wore his finger splint for the rest of the school year just to "accidentally" flip people off. In high school, this girl a bunch of my friends were friends with ended up transferring schools after moving, and the next year hung herself. I didn't know her, but was with my friends the next day who spent the day in the school counselor's office. I actually called one to tell them the news the night before when I found out from others. The kids who knew her spent the day in the counselor's office, and I did too because all my best friends were friends with her. (Some of her bullies were there too, which pissed my friends off until I pointed out they weren't just trying to skip class, but probably felt guilty as hell). But around noonish the counselor said "Oh good news, she isn't dead, I just talked to the hospital, and she's about to go into surgery now" which seemed weird, but we knew she had been taken to the hospital, so thought maybe it was one of those cases where they declared her brain dead and then realized she wasn't. Nope, she was brain dead and she was going in to have her organs harvested. We found that out from the counselor about an hour later. As far as I know, the counselor faced no repercussions for that.
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Sep 24, 2019 20:31
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KillerJunglist posted:There was a contest of sorts when I was in 2nd grade where we could win a bunch of candy if we could choose a topic and give a specific in that topic for every letter of the alphabet (ie. Dogs: airedale, beagle, etc.). I once read a first person account of Gavrillo Princip's incarceration to my class in grade 8, it was not my work, it might have actually been Gavrillo's own, I don't remember. In any case it was extremely florid and went on an extremely long time, and was extremely obviously not written by an eighth grader, even once that was percieved to be smarter than average. I got an A+, still have no idea what the hell happened there.
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Sep 24, 2019 20:32
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haha yeah. chuckled about that scene with the last phone call. "guess I gotta cross you off the list!" fortunately things got a lot better for me in college after getting out of my hometown and I'm somewhat well adjusted now as a married adult with two kids whom I adore.
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Sep 24, 2019 20:35
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In 3rd grade I had to stop calling teachers "comrade" for some reason, it was very weird.
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Sep 24, 2019 20:45
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