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you broke my grill posted:it was an accident because I was laughing loudly at something unrelated at the moment and I temporarily lost control of my butthole if you laughed so hard you farted that is innocent i'd say and the teacher ruled badly 
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Sep 24, 2019 20:58
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In 8th grade, a classmate made a facebook group about our gym teacher being a pedophile, and added a bunch of people, including me, to it. I didn't really think much of it. But one day, the principal calls me, several of my friends who also were uninvolved aside from being added to the group, and the kid who made the group (the only one who should've gotten in trouble.) We proceeded to be sent to a room with said gym teacher who proceeds to go apeshit on all of us, which is fair given the circumstances he was in, but I just wish we didn't all get blamed for this thing that one kid did. Also, at the end of my 8th grade year, me and some friends were hanging out at the school playground celebrating the end of the school year. We noticed that the door to the gym was wide open and unattended, so we decide to go in. Two people from our group went upstairs where the trophies are kept and started smashing a bunch of them, which freaked me the gently caress out and I got out of there because I was not about to be associated and blamed for that poo poo.
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Sep 24, 2019 21:28
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ihatechesspieces posted:8th grade wtf I feel so old now
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Sep 24, 2019 22:12
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Percelus posted:when i went to see my first r rated movie in theaters it was diehard 3. my brother and i kept asking what a n word was because of that one notable scene and my parents keep nervously avoiding it especially because as my brother remembers a black family was sitting just in front of us the gently caress your parents doing taking a child young enough to not know what the n word is to loving a Die Hard movie lol
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Sep 24, 2019 22:24
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I had a wonderful teacher named Mr.McGrath just before he retired. Among the following: - 9/11 happened the second week of 5th grade, and a ton of our parents worked in the city. He told us point blank everything that went down as it went down, answered the questions we had, and told us that we’d remember this day for the rest of our lives. - he was a Vietnam vet from Cypress Hill and told us how goddamn brutal the war was in intense detail but also managed to weave it in with comedic or thoughtful stories he called Tall Tales. - our bathroom pass was a heavy hunk of lumber that, when dropped, would make the loudest KLUNK that echoed through half the school. He would rib on whatever kid came back from the bathroom that dropped it. - he is an avid fisherman, and cleaned up some bluefish and flounder in the middle of day out of nowhere. Explained what organs were what (while some kids were puking), the basics of the fish’s anatomy and then fried the fish for all of us to eat. - frequently joked about having maxi and mini cleavers hidden throughout the classroom. - he had a bunch of known randos as former students, and Adam Conover apparently. He was easily one of my favorite teachers but lol if he’d ever be allowed to teach today.
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Sep 24, 2019 22:44
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Actual hosed up story: my grade was known for having girls suck dick for lunch money in 9th grade. We had the bathrooms randomly locked after that.
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Sep 24, 2019 22:47
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there was a kid in highschool who killed stray cats and left them on girls' cars. he looked like the farmer cockroach guy from men in black.
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Sep 24, 2019 22:47
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Oh hey I do remember some idiot kid would hide in the coaches office in the girls locker room and watch them change. (High school) You could jimmy every lock in our school with a thin steel ruler so it was only a matter of time. The idiot was caught because he bragged about to his friends, and in this circle of friends was the brother to one of the girls he was creeping on Ugh.
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Sep 24, 2019 23:02
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I don't remember how this came up but in the 1st grade this kid announces in front of the whole class that he and his cousin had been pulling his other cousin's pants down over the weekend. Can't imagine what our teacher thought of this being the only one who could grasp the depth of the problem here. She replied with something about how they should never have done that, and he said it was ok because they pulled them back up when cars went by. Don't remember where it went from there. Anyway, he's a heroin addict now.
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Sep 24, 2019 23:10
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In fifth grade there was a kid named Shane who moved in from out of town. He seemed normal at first, but then one day we just stopped associating with him. We were sitting in class and our work was finished. He was making noise and he was stroking his upper leg and then making these spurting sounds. A handful of us asked what he was doing and he was more than happy to explain. That's when he explained that he was jacking off his leg. He explained in detail about how he could cut a slit in his inner leg where he would insert his dick and cut a hole in his knee and shoot his load from his knee. Then he went back to furiously jacking his upper leg.
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Sep 25, 2019 00:07
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Mammal Sauce posted:In fifth grade there was a kid named Shane who moved in from out of town. He seemed normal at first, but then one day we just stopped associating with him. We were sitting in class and our work was finished. He was making noise and he was stroking his upper leg and then making these spurting sounds. A handful of us asked what he was doing and he was more than happy to explain. you're just jealous you didn't think of it first
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Sep 25, 2019 00:44
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Mammal Sauce posted:In fifth grade there was a kid named Shane who moved in from out of town. He seemed normal at first, but then one day we just stopped associating with him. We were sitting in class and our work was finished. He was making noise and he was stroking his upper leg and then making these spurting sounds. A handful of us asked what he was doing and he was more than happy to explain. Are you talking about his pants leg or his flesh leg?
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Sep 25, 2019 01:06
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Not grade school, but high school. Still hosed up. My biology teacher was openly pounding cough syrup, and describing all the kung fu moves he'd pull out if the was an active shooter or terrorist attack at the school. Finally he decides he needs an assistant to demonstrate, and he picks me. He hands me a dry erase marker and tells me to come at him like it's a knife. I half heartily attack him, while he grapples the marker out of my hand. Plenty of people got stabbed at my school, and he was never there to stop it. It must have eaten into him or something. It was pretty surreal.
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Sep 25, 2019 01:50
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Johnny-on-the-Spot posted:Not grade school, but high school. Still hosed up. My biology teacher was openly pounding cough syrup, and describing all the kung fu moves he'd pull out if the was an active shooter or terrorist attack at the school. Finally he decides he needs an assistant to demonstrate, and he picks me. He hands me a dry erase marker and tells me to come at him like it's a knife. I half heartily attack him, while he grapples the marker out of my hand. Perfect opportunity to punch out a teacher and you didn't take it? Tsk tsk.
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Sep 25, 2019 02:03
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Smiling Mandrill posted:Are you talking about his pants leg or his flesh leg? He would stroke his upper leg while wearing pants but he wanted to cut his flesh leg, insert dick into the wound and cum out his cut flesh knee.
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Sep 25, 2019 02:30
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phasmid posted:Perfect opportunity to punch out a teacher and you didn't take it? Tsk tsk. You just reminded me of the time the choir teacher interrupted his class and told me to punch one of the students in the face. I honesty think the teacher thought I wouldnt do it.
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Sep 25, 2019 02:38
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Mammal Sauce posted:He would stroke his upper leg while wearing pants but he wanted to cut his flesh leg, insert dick into the wound and cum out his cut flesh knee. Ya gotta be careful with this method or you can get an emboljism which can be fatal
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Sep 25, 2019 02:40
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Y'all went to very different schools from me. Aside from my brother's violent reactions to being bullied (I'd break down, he'd explode, and we're near-identical twins. It was bully roulette) my stories are things like a strict substitute teacher got on everyone's nerves so we slipped out the window when her back was turned.
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Sep 25, 2019 03:32
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Bruceski posted:Y'all went to very different schools from me. Aside from my brother's violent reactions to being bullied (I'd break down, he'd explode, and we're near-identical twins. It was bully roulette) my stories are things like a strict substitute teacher got on everyone's nerves so we slipped out the window when her back was turned. We had a substitute in middle school who would rest his junk on girls' desks and lean over to look down their shirts. But back then it was like "haha this guy is weird and gross" instead of "oh this person's an actual pedophile" We also had a sub who was really into Japan and wore karate clothes to school and he took away my GamePro magazine when he saw an advertisement with a bikini babe in it
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Sep 25, 2019 03:56
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teen witch posted:
I had a similar English teacher in 8th grade, Mr Schmitt, who taught us the intricacies of poker, the inherent despair of All Quiet on the Western Front, and described on multiple occasions how he alleviated his nicotine cravings by sucking on an unlit cig in the parking lot after school
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Sep 25, 2019 04:09
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Mammal Sauce posted:He would stroke his upper leg while wearing pants but he wanted to cut his flesh leg, insert dick into the wound and cum out his cut flesh knee. I'm getting just old enough that I forget just how crazy and stupid horny that time in life can be. Thanks for reminding me lol.
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Sep 25, 2019 04:19
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there was an administrator at my school who got fired for something to do with a substitute teacher but no one ever knew the details. one of the other teachers told me "lets just say he had a wandering eye and then lets just say it was more than his eyes that wandered". im assuming some form of sexual harassment . the guy who got fired was american but looked like a 19th century british colonial administrator my 9th grade french teacher was the first woman and the first american to be a member of the french fencing federation. not really hosed up i just thought that was cool. also her name was "mrs splatt" which is a pretty drat perfect teacher name if ive ever heard one in 6th grade basically my whole class bullied the teacher with various pranks like crazy gluing her coffee cup to her desk (she was a major coffee fiend). i dont remember what finally made her flip out but whatever it was, she picked up one of those desk/chair combos and just threw it across the room in a rage. pretty sure a teacher would get fired for that poo poo today but we were all just "drat i guess we went too far" and nothing happened i had a high school english teacher who loved to physically demonstrate the meaning of "defenestration" by tossing kids out of the (ground floor) window, they were always willing of course and it was just a funny thing but that seems like something that would lead to a lawsuit today Earwicker fucked around with this message at 04:34 on Sep 25, 2019 |
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Sep 25, 2019 04:26
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teen witch posted:- he is an avid fisherman, and cleaned up some bluefish and flounder in the middle of day out of nowhere. Explained what organs were what (while some kids were puking), the basics of the fish’s anatomy and then fried the fish for all of us to eat. this should be like mandatory basic education
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Sep 25, 2019 04:38
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symbolic posted:The 7th grade social studies teacher at my school was ...well, let's call him Mr. Harrison since I don't really remember his name. Mr. Harrison was approaching 70 and the type of person where if you looked at his face on any given day, you could tell if you were in for one of his good days or one of his bad days. On a good day, he might make a few jokes or even smile during class. During a (much more frequent) bad day, expect him stomping around his room, occasionally turning to us and mumbling out something that sounded like part of a lesson interspersed with passive-aggressive remarks. And then once in a blue moon, there was a really bad day. This reminds me of the 8th grade teacher we had when I was in seventh grade who, after being pushed to the absolute edge by an extremely assholish 8th grader somehow got it in his head to pick up his podium (yes there were podiums) and throw it at the young man. The big difference? He was fired the next day.
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Sep 25, 2019 05:09
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Earwicker posted:this should be like mandatory basic education About 50% of the plastic rubbish in the ocean is due to fishing. Gutting someone who eats fish is a lot more ethical.
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Sep 25, 2019 05:23
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We "gifted" kids got a crotchety old lady teacher in a 5th/6th Grade mixed class who seemed to hate fun. The teacher next door had an all 6th Grade class and let them do cool and dangerous science experiments, and had a ton of snakes and spiders in terrariums. Cool teacher's kids gifted her a ball python for their class gift, and she came over to show it to our teacher on our last day of school. . Our teacher immediately reached her hand out to the snake and it clamped down on her knuckles. She was in hysterics while the other teacher tried to pry it off her, we all just kind of laughed.
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Sep 25, 2019 05:28
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In primary school so about age 8 or so one of our teachers brought in a WWII grenade. Many years later I still remember that clear as gently caress because  He also showed us how liquid mercury was really cool and pretty fun to let it slide around your fingers but you sure as poo poo got in a lot of trouble if you tried to touch it yourself because apparently it was bad. He's dead now from alcohol abuse.
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Sep 25, 2019 05:34
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In high school, there was an overachieving girl named Marla. She was on every sport and usually the captain of the teams, was in every extracurricular club possible, was smart and pretty and popular. She even got accepted into UCLA in her senior year! One night it was raining pretty hard and she was running late to mock trial. There is a little highway kind of road that led towards the school, and somehow she or the driver behind her clipped each other and sent her car into the oncoming lane where it was hit again. The rumor was her head flung forward and her teeth caught the steering wheel and snapped her neck. I dont even know if thats possible. The funeral was open casket and the people who went said they put heavy amounts of makeup on her face. At the little memorial during lunch, one of the more evangelist kids was doing the eulogy and brought it around in a way to say 'we should all die for Christ' or something. I thought that was a pretty poor choice of wording. Our high school was next to a cemetery, and she was buried right there next to the fence overlooking the campus. In my head, she never got to leave that school and do things with her life after all that hard work towards getting into a super awesome college. Never even try, kids, cause death surrounds us all.
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Sep 25, 2019 05:41
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My first grade teacher read us that book "Miss Nelson Is Missing!" it's about a teacher who is tired of her class misbehaving and decides to show up to class one day dressed up as an evil strict teacher. Moral of the story is the students have a new found respect for their old teacher and behave in her class. OKAY! so the next day. Our teacher shows up wearing all black and a wig, and a big yard stick. She would smack it on the desk if we made a peep. She skipped all the fun subjects we had planned for the day, and only made us focus on Math, History, and Science. She even made Recess shorter. We were all scared as poo poo. Our classroom had a bathroom in it, so around 11:50am when she went to use it, we locked her inside there. she was pissed. we had to bargain for our old teacher back. not how she wanted the day to go. but we didn't want her to remain in character any longer Lauroon Kyanka fucked around with this message at 05:59 on Sep 25, 2019 |
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Sep 25, 2019 05:55
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cinni posted:Our high school was next to a cemetery, and she was buried right there next to the fence overlooking the campus. In my head, she never got to leave that school and do things with her life after all that hard work towards getting into a super awesome college. Never even try, kids, cause death surrounds us all.
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Sep 25, 2019 06:08
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Oh hey, this is kinda hosed up and awesome at the same time. Back in my senior year of high school my home town burned when the winds shifted on a prescribed forest fire (we're one of the reasons they're not called "controlled burns" any more). Probably took out somewhere between 1/5 and 1/4 of the main town, so we were all directly affected or friends with folks who had lost their homes. A lot of us seniors were particularly conflicted because we had to get right back into AP tests and prepping for college and it felt like we were abandoning the town when it needed folks to help rebuild. Anyway, skip forward to graduation, and our guest speaker, some state senator or something without a clue of the local sentiment, proudly declared us "the Class of <fire>". The whole class booed. I have never been prouder of a boo in my life.
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Sep 25, 2019 06:19
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My school had a cool young teacher that got arrested part way through his first year because it turned out he was a bank robber that the FBI had finally tracked down.
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Sep 25, 2019 09:17
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Inceltown posted:About 50% of the plastic rubbish in the ocean is due to fishing. Gutting someone who eats fish is a lot more ethical. That's from netting, presumably this guy line fished. At least it would be highly irregular for a hobbyist to use plastic nets.
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Sep 25, 2019 09:42
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rodbeard posted:My school had a cool young teacher that got arrested part way through his first year because it turned out he was a bank robber that the FBI had finally tracked down. Awesome.
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Sep 25, 2019 10:22
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when i was in fifth grade our school had a musical number where we all dressed up as "african savages" in grass skirts and beads and cooked the leads (three middle-aged white men) in a big cauldron. this was in the year 2001
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Sep 25, 2019 11:02
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fauna posted:when i was in fifth grade our school had a musical number where we all dressed up as "african savages" in grass skirts and beads and cooked the leads (three middle-aged white men) in a big cauldron. this was in the year 2001  We did Pinocchio and I was a French can can dancer for the “I’ve got no strings” part and yeah, it was sanitized to avoid the whole “children as underage can can dancers” thing. I was really bitter about it because everyone had to participate, as I knew I hated the idea being in a musical immediately. I tried to make the best of it, so I signed up to do stage crew and didn’t get it because they needed more girls. Needless to say this did not endear me to the performing arts as a participant.
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Sep 25, 2019 11:34
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lmao i'm so sorry  if it's any consolation my beads snapped mid-dance and flew everywhere and i got in trouble afterward, even though i was at the back due to fatness and the audience didn't notice. an early introduction to cosmic justice
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Sep 25, 2019 12:33
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I went to school in Alaska, and my fifth-grade teacher taught us a bunch about first aid and winter survival skills. One of the projects we did as a class was to build winter survival shelters out in a woody area on the edge of the playground -- just basic lean-tos and A-frames out of branches, that kind of thing. Not long afterwards, one of my classmates who had a ton of behavior problems stopped showing up to school. He'd run away from home and was camping out in our survival shelters; he'd brought a ton of water and supplies with him and had just set up shop. It was a crazy, weird scandal at the time, although these days I feel pretty sorry for him; between all the behavioral stuff, and the fact that he loving ran away from home to live on the playground in the middle of winter, it must have been pretty wretched for him at home. He got found and ended up back at home, iirc. Hope he's okay now. Two years later, in middle school, the other major behavioral-problems case in my grade got the school bus pulled over. Apparently he'd decided to chuck some rocks through windows on his walk to the bus stop, and the cops picked up on it quickly enough to follow the school bus and pull it over to arrest him. The whole thing was extremely strange, and there's a part of me that's still skeptical of this story even though I personally experienced it -- how the hell does a middle-school bus get pulled over? And yet.
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Sep 25, 2019 12:35
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Our grade school teacher was very religious and would occasionally stop classes to play the piano and sing hymns. He'd also talk about his ex mother-in-law being abducted by aliens. Other than being kinda weird and very uptight with rules he wasn't that bad, and nothing too crazy happened with him during my school years. What is curious though is that after he retired(or possibly was fired) from teaching, he tried to get into politics. The christian democrats party(you can probably guess what they're about) kicked him out for being too much into Jesus. These days he collects various prophecies of apocalypse while unsuccessfully trying to get his own extra nutty christian political party started.
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Sep 25, 2019 12:55
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yogizh posted:In 3rd grade I had to stop calling teachers "comrade" for some reason, it was very weird. When I was a senior in high school, there was this freshman kid in my gym class who wore a hammer & sickle t-shirt so I was like, haha real cool shirt, because I thought it was funny in an edgy, high school sort of way. This kid ended up latching on to me because I was the only person who was nice to him and he failed to make any friends. After a bit I realized he was way too serious about those whole communism thing, was incredibly weird, and made me super uncomfortable. I tried my best to distance myself but he just would not go away. He got expelled 2 years after I graduated for spray painting a swastika in the bathroom. We had a teacher that was a giant drunk and I suspect would routinely drink on the job. One day when I was in the bathroom, I saw a fellow student walk in with a bottle of wine and dump the contents into the sink. He only said "don't worry about it, I'm doing him a favor." It was weird at the time, but in hindsight it's just incredibly sad. That teacher's dead now.
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