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"I feel abandoned. I feel abandoned by my family, I feel abandoned by my friends. I feel abandoned by God. It's not even that I'm afraid of getting close to something because I might get hurt again, I just don't even see the point in any of it. it's like there were things that gave life structure and I didn't even think to question them, and, it's not even that they're gone, it's that since I've been alone I thought to look closer and it turns out there was nothing really there to begin with. and I think about everyone that's gone and I wonder if they came back would I even be the same person anymore? what if what I've become is somebody that it's impossible to love? and I can't push that thought away. I can't get a grip. there's nothing to hold on to. I'm drifting away and it's like I don't even see the point in trying to find my way back," said Crash Bandicoot
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Oct 4, 2019 00:09
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 07:33 |
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Cubone posted:"I feel abandoned. I feel abandoned by my family, I feel abandoned by my friends. I feel abandoned by God. It's not even that I'm afraid of getting close to something because I might get hurt again, I just don't even see the point in any of it. it's like there were things that gave life structure and I didn't even think to question them, and, it's not even that they're gone, it's that since I've been alone I thought to look closer and it turns out there was nothing really there to begin with. and I think about everyone that's gone and I wonder if they came back would I even be the same person anymore? what if what I've become is somebody that it's impossible to love? and I can't push that thought away. I can't get a grip. there's nothing to hold on to. I'm drifting away and it's like I don't even see the point in trying to find my way back," said Crash Bandicoot ...to the school bus full of terrified children. "If God really loves you then he won't let me do this." Crash sets the timer on his bomb vest to 5 seconds. "We we're all born dead anyway."
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Oct 4, 2019 00:40
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Funky See Funky Do posted:...to the school bus full of terrified children. God sits on his chair in heaven reading a news paper and murmers: "meh"
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Oct 4, 2019 00:42
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Foul Ole Ron posted:God sits on his chair in heaven reading a news paper and murmers: "Any moment now kids and it's over! BLAMMO! This bomb will blow us all to hell and show the world that explosives are not a play thing. For too long now the world has ignored proper safety procedures. Last year alone over 50 people were injured in explosive related accidents! My own father lost a thumb! Do you know what that's like? He was a freak! He tried to turn to drink but he couldn't hold a bottle! The miserable bastard tried to take it out on us but he couldn't hold a stick to beat us with. It was hilarious! My sister and I were in stitches every day. The sound of laughter echoed from our burrow. Pretty soon all the bandicoots started to come around to see what the fun was. Each day was a party. We were so popular." 4..
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Oct 4, 2019 01:33
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Suddenly one of the kids jumps up and reveals himself to be a little person who was an undercover cop! "Freeze, dirtbag! Satan & Satan, we got a 2319!" He says into his radio. With one second left on the bomb's clock, Crash's body explodes, revealing the Satans in his place doing JoJo poses.
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Oct 4, 2019 01:35
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Who What Now posted:Suddenly one of the kids jumps up and reveals himself to be a little person who was an undercover cop! "Freeze, dirtbag! Satan & Satan, we got a 2319!" He says into his radio. With one second left on the bomb's clock, Crash's body explodes, revealing the Satans in his place doing JoJo poses. "What the hell is a JoJo pose?" Screamed the gore drenched children.
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Oct 4, 2019 02:42
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Several miles away, jostled by the recent seismic activity caused by a courtroom plunging deep into the earth, a colony of naked molerats who had been soaking up excess radiation from a Pornhub server farm for several years achieves sentience as a eusocial hivemind. Confused, uncertain, they are a blank slate of potential. They could be a formidable tool for one who could lead them with efficiency and direction, full of boundless opportunities. Then part of a tunnel wall collapses and one part of the molerat hivemind lays eyes on Ryan and the whole new being imprints on him instead. "ARE YOU GOD?" comes as though in a single voice from thousands of tiny throats.
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Oct 4, 2019 07:04
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CaptainSarcastic posted:Several miles away, jostled by the recent seismic activity caused by a courtroom plunging deep into the earth, a colony of naked molerats who had been soaking up excess radiation from a Pornhub server farm for several years achieves sentience as a eusocial hivemind. God shuffles his paper and murmurs while reading "he loving wishes".
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Oct 4, 2019 08:05
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Back on the bus one kid is holding up her phone and showing the screen to all the other children. "What?" says one incredulous little boy as he wipes the viscera from his face. "Really? Are you kidding me? That is the stupidest god damned thing I've ever seen and I just watched a cgi marsupial rant about its daddy issues." "Unbe-loving-lievable." he huffed as he stormed off the bus.
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Oct 4, 2019 08:36
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CaptainSarcastic posted:Several miles away, jostled by the recent seismic activity caused by a courtroom plunging deep into the earth, a colony of naked molerats who had been soaking up excess radiation from a Pornhub server farm for several years achieves sentience as a eusocial hivemind. Ryan thought back to Winston's advice in the first Ghostbusters film. "Yes," answered Ryan. "Also, the all-female Ghostbusters reboot is an example of why women aren't funny and furthermore..." Ryan proceeded to lecture the mole rats for several hours on his strong opinions regarding how so many of his favorite childhood franchises had been ruined by the forced inclusion of women and minorities.
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Oct 4, 2019 10:18
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Applewhite posted:Ryan thought back to Winston's advice in the first Ghostbusters film. Foebric, tumbling into the pit, grabs his magic fishing rod and summons Arboreus, who apparently is not dead anymore because of the multiverse rift. Arboreus catches him and they fly away to Wilderland to consult with Deer Queen Brigadoon and Mad Martigan
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Oct 4, 2019 12:14
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Back on the bus one kid is holding up her phone and showing the screen to all the other children. Buff Satan looked at Ripped Satan. "That kid" flex "was kind of" stretch "a little bitch" pose
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Oct 4, 2019 12:40
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Who What Now posted:Buff Satan looked at Ripped Satan. "That kid" flex "was kind of" stretch "a little bitch" pose Cue dramatic intro montage of Satan and Satan, crime fighting muscle men/daemons.
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Oct 4, 2019 14:31
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Foul Ole Ron posted:Cue dramatic intro montage of Satan and Satan, crime fighting muscle men/daemons. Black police chief: "Sataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" Meanwhile, at the Underlook Hotel: Ryan stands weeping over the bodies of the naked mole rat colony. All of them dead from mass suicide. "Why, Lloyd? Why?" cries Ryan. "I wasn't even finished explaining to them about ethics in games journalism!" Lloyd doesn't answer. He has also killed himself. Put a shotgun in his mouth and pulled the trigger with his toe. Blew his brains out all over the bar mirror.
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Oct 4, 2019 16:03
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Applewhite posted:Black police chief: "Sataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" Just to make sure Lloyd was dead, Ryan pulled out his chrome .45 and put two rounds into the base of Lloyd's remaining skull, execution style.
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Oct 4, 2019 16:57
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Who What Now posted:Buff Satan looked at Ripped Satan. "That kid" flex "was kind of" stretch "a little bitch" pose The kid turns around and squares up against Satans. "Man, gently caress you. I don't need this kind of grief from a couple of emotional eating motherfuckers. Yeah you're jacked now but where were you a week ago huh? Cwing in bed because you put on a widdy bit of weight? You go up and down more than Oprah. Cast enlarge Satan - cast of Game of Thrones sized bucket of chicken more likely." The kid makes a sudden move like he's going to punch Satans. They flinch. "Yeah that's what I thought. Now why don't you two gumshoes stop shaking for a moment and go figure out why the gently caress a bandicoot was threatening to blow up my school bus."
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Oct 4, 2019 23:35
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Funky See Funky Do posted:The kid turns around and squares up against Satans. And that little kid’s name was Albert Einstein.
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Oct 4, 2019 23:53
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Funky See Funky Do posted:The kid turns around and squares up against Satans. Applewhite posted:And that little kid’s name was Albert Einstein. "Hey little buddy, you okay?" Satan said to the small husky boy standing and staring off into space while trembling slightly, kneeling to get more on eye-level with the kid. "He looks a little shook up, but I'm sure he'll be fine," Satan replied. "Right kid?" The kid blinks, startled out of his STDH reverie. "Uh, yeah, yes sir, mister Satan-san" he said quietly, not making eye contact. "I, I'll be fine."
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Oct 5, 2019 03:50
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CaptainSarcastic posted:"Hey little buddy, you okay?" Satan said to the small husky boy standing and staring off into space while trembling slightly, kneeling to get more on eye-level with the kid. "Hootie hee, hootie hoo! You've forgotten about me but Boober hasn't forgotten you!" A mighty gust of wind blows leaves and debris as Boober lands between Satan and the autistic child. Satan's eyes slightly water at the stench. Everyone else had cleaned up, why is this owl still caked in feces? "This plot thread unraveled, let it rest in peace. Albert Einstein? Crash Bandicoot? This stupid bullshit must cease! Brave adventurer dwells in the sewers, capping all who oppose. Perhaps it's time we get this show on the road!"
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Oct 5, 2019 05:01
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935 posted:"Hootie hee, hootie hoo! You've forgotten about me but Boober hasn't forgotten you!" A bunch of people arrive bearing many satchels full of mail. “What’s this?” Asks Buff Satan. He reaches for a letter, then recoils hissing in pain as the letters burn him like acid! “They’re a hundred letters from the children of the world to Santa Claus!” Exclaims one of the mail carriers. “Honestly, I lost track; I thought we were still in court? Ah well.” She leaves as Satan and Satan yell and scream. “Letters to a Saint! Holy objects!” Cries Huge Satan. “Someone sent these blessed letters to harm us!” Screams Buff Satan while nursing his scarred claws, “But who?!? Who would have the stones to sabotage our law firm?!” As the Satans argue, the little husky boy sees an opportunity... “Yo, Boober!” He shouts. “I’m in the midst of a giant turd!” sings Boober merrily as he unleashes a veritable torrent of guano on some hobo muttering about fish and the Millennium, “I had to avenge a fellow bird!” “Whatever,” says Husky the Boy, “Are you a Carrier Owl?” “Deedily dee and fiddly foo! What sort of message shall I send for you?” “Take three of those letters to Santa and bring one to Adventurer Ryan, one to the hottest fairy in the enchanted forest, and one to the police chief. They’ll know what to do!” Says Husky. “Giddily fiddily...” “Just go. Ugh.”
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Oct 5, 2019 05:25
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While the Chunky Child talks to Boober the two Satans take the time to talk to one another. "So are we cops or lawyers? We really need to pick one or the other, because it's a serious breach of ethics to try and do both. What's Dick Wolf say? Something about separate but equal? Man, I can't wait for that fucker to die and come to hell so he can make CSI: Tartarus."
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Oct 6, 2019 15:37
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 07:33 |
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Who What Now posted:While the Chunky Child talks to Boober the two Satans take the time to talk to one another.
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Oct 7, 2019 07:50
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