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ProperGanderPusher
Jan 13, 2012




I’ve always struggled with reading people unless their body language is super obvious. I’ve “compensated” for this by always assuming the worst in social situations. They crossed their arms across their chest? I must’ve said something cringe! Turns out they’re just cold. Dead air during a conversation? I must be boring them to death or I can’t communicate worth poo poo! Oh God, they must think I’m an idiot.

Took me years to relax and realize people aren’t this complicated.

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ProperGanderPusher
Jan 13, 2012




Does anyone else have a social life trajectory that goes something like this?

I was largely oblivious to social cues as a younger kid. Didn't know when jokes went too far, didn't know when people didn't give a poo poo about any given topic I was talking about, and other stuff that tends to happen when you're too focused on inward thoughts.

One day in like 6th grade or so one of my few friends told me offhand during a walk home (but with complete sincerity), "Dude, everyone thinks you're literally retarded."

I'd always had doubts about my intelligence, so this really sent me into a tailspin. I barely said poo poo to anyone outside my small circle of friends for the rest of middle school and I largely squandered my social life in high school and college because I was terrified of saying something awkward or dumb so making friends became even more difficult. I became *extremely* sensitive to any remark that came off as even slightly patronizing and would use those remarks as proof that everyone thought I was loving stupid. It took me until my mid 20's to regain my self confidence and stop giving a gently caress about impressing absolutely everyone.

Nowadays, I'm doing just fine. I have a family and a bigger circle of friends than ever. I just sometimes look back at all the wasted social opportunities and wish it all could have gone down differently.

ProperGanderPusher
Jan 13, 2012




Yeah, they suspected I had ADD as a kid, but I didn’t react well to any medication. All it did was kill my appetite. In retrospect I guess it may have just been autistic anxiety that caused me to have trouble focusing? Something like a mix of sensory overload, social anxiety, and plain old immaturity?

Most of my attention issues can be managed by diet, exercise, and coffee nowadays, so I doubt my adhd diagnosis was correct. I still have the tendency to struggle with subjects that bore me, and I have a habit of getting caught on a thought and shutting out the world while I ponder on it, causing me to miss whole chunks of an ongoing conversation.

ProperGanderPusher
Jan 13, 2012




“I’m on the sunny side of dirt! Haw haw haw.” seems to resonate well.

ProperGanderPusher
Jan 13, 2012




It’s frustrating when I’m critiqued on not reading body language very well then accused of being paranoid that I’m upsetting people when they roll their eyes or cross their arms.

ProperGanderPusher
Jan 13, 2012




I got my balls broken constantly over my handwriting in college. I’ve tried to learn Spencerian script in the last year but I keep getting distracted and not practicing.

ProperGanderPusher
Jan 13, 2012




Love Christmas personally, except for the fact it’s the time of year I tend to ruminate and remember passed loved ones the hardest. This year in particular was hard and I can’t really put my finger on why.

Having to entertain for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years this year wasn’t great either. I just want to crawl in a hole for a month.

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ProperGanderPusher
Jan 13, 2012




Dance Officer posted:

How do the people in this thread feel about having children?

I have one. I’ll probably have at least one more.

The chaos and noise and unpredictability is hard to deal with but at least my wife makes enough that I don’t have to go to work and can watch her full time. The noise and messes can be hard to deal with and communication with my wife about when I need breaks is essential.

My daughter is super social and, at least so far, has no sign of being ND besides being verbally delayed. She’s just two so it might be a nothingburger in the long run. We’re trying to find her speech therapy anyway which is difficult because all the therapists around here tend to be army wives and turnover is super high as their husbands get reassigned every two to three years.

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