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credburn posted:And to add more chaos into the mix, I understand that men generally "present" autistic traits much more visibly than women? But then I wonder if that has more to do with societal expectations of different genders. I'm a gay dude just coming to the realization that there might be something more to all of that social awkwardness, issues with running the gently caress away from relationships and not understanding why, reading constantly in class while acing the classwork but also never doing any homework, and literally a million other tiny symptoms I had no idea were symptoms... and, anecdotally, I'm inclined to think that yes, it's more to do with the construction of gender roles than anything actually biological. I fall closer to the stereotypical "female" pattern of behaviors than the stereotypical "male" one, which I attribute to the fact that I'm queer and, although I'm definitely a cis man, I never much cared about being "masculine" and got along much better with girls as a kid for the most part.
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Jan 28, 2020 19:19
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e: quote is not edit, my actual post is below
Quorum fucked around with this message at 01:36 on Jan 29, 2020 |
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Jan 29, 2020 00:08
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Dance Officer posted:Being good at school does not an autist make. I'm really struggling to respond to your post because it feels like you're dismissing my experience out of hand because I said I was good at aspects of schoolwork. If so, a) autistic people can absolutely be good at (parts of) school, b) I was both lucky and privileged in a whole lot of ways, not least involving access to specialized programs and motivated teachers, and c) I absolutely would not describe my school experience as a triumphant success. I made it, despite struggling in ways I couldn't describe or even really conceive, and at a psychological cost I'm still reckoning with.
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Jan 29, 2020 01:19
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Dance Officer posted:No, it was just weirding me out because how good at school you are has nothing to do with autism, it read like you were bragging. No, sorry-- that definitely wasn't my intention. I'm still coming to terms with the whole thing and getting all my thoughts in one place is hard, so I apologise for coming off that way. In my case, I think doing well in school early on is why my symptoms were missed, or dismissed as just being an awkward loner. You know, all those normal awkward loners who never look anyone in the eyes or who explain to their teachers in fourth grade that they don't understand the point of making friends. 
Quorum fucked around with this message at 12:32 on Jan 29, 2020 |
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Jan 29, 2020 12:25
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Gantolandon posted:It's usually pointless to try to figure out if a fictional character is autistic. They are created by their writers, many of whom don't know much about autism. If the author intended their character to be autistic, usually it's either clearly specified or the character displays plenty of telltale signs. Otherwise the answer is no. I'd say that depends-- death of the author and all that. Characters can display hallmarks of autism in ways that lead autistic people to identify with them while not being intended to be An Autistic Person by their author, largely because autism is so poorly understood by most. Sometimes authors aim for "quirky, interesting, slightly odd duck" and land firmly in "ambiguously autistic" territory, and sometimes it's hard to say exactly what the writers intended. Amelie is like that, it's not clear that the protagonist was explicitly supposed to be on the spectrum but her mannerisms and social sensitivities are really suggestive (and I definitely read her as autistic right away). I think it's safe to say Elle Woods wasn't intended to be autistic But if some autistic people read in her the kind of all consuming masking they've experienced in their own lives, more power to them!
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Sep 17, 2020 11:41
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pandy fackler posted:Have you ever taken psychedelics and if so, how did it go? That's interesting! I wonder if it has to do with the way psychedelics dampen the parts of the brain that regulate attention, focus, and sensory input, which autistic people are extremely used to dealing with. I also think I saw something about how both ASD and therapeutic use of psychedelics are associated with high levels of neuroplasticity. e: to actually answer the question no, but I'm intrigued-- I've talked to enough people with similar brains to mine who noticed a distinct decrease in their perpetual ambient anxiety levels. If they ever get it sorted out so I can go to a shop and get something with regulated ingredients and a drug facts label, I'd definitely be inclined to see if it helps. Quorum fucked around with this message at 03:51 on Jun 18, 2021 |
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Jun 18, 2021 03:48
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Fuschia tude posted:What exactly does this mean? There's a different brain structure than in other people? It's not a super well-studied area yet but probably. One of the theories which has some support is that autistic people maintain high levels of neuroplasticity, the ability of the brain to react to new stimulus or circumstances by changing its structure. Typically this drops off as people age, because it's cognitively pretty expensive. This is why people can learn languages quickly as children, but it takes a lot more effort as adults. Some research has demonstrated that autistic people keep more neuroplasticity into adulthood, which has benefits (it's great for creative problem solving and learning about new things), but also costs (reacting to new stimulus is exhausting, which may help explain why we often get overwhelmed by sensory input and why routine and structure are so helpful). There's another branch of research purporting to show the opposite thing, that after a "critical period" in childhood our brains stop growing as much as those of our peers, but this tends to come from the thriving industry of "selling diets, supplements, and therapies to moms who are deathly afraid of their kid being autistic."
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Jul 6, 2021 11:39
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MarsellusWallace posted:Thank you all. This thread has been wonderful. Like Organza Quiz noted, ASD isn't like other conditions (like ADHD, for instance) for which effective, well-studied pharmaceutical treatment exists that requires a diagnosis to access. As an adult, unless you're planning to request official accomodations through an institutional process at your job or the government, the only reason to seek a diagnosis is if you personally want one for educational or peace of mind reasons. Unfortunately, autism in adults is extremely poorly studied, and even more poorly studied from the perspective of autistic people themselves, so it can be hard to find useful resources. I like The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome, by Tony Attwood. It's older, as the name suggests, but covers things pretty well.
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Jul 15, 2021 15:21
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signalnoise posted:I am interested to know the thread's thoughts on that. I could see explaining the difficulty with communication as just being this constantly shifting set of rules, and once I know the rules, it's not hard to follow them, but the problem is just in never being told the rules. Explaining it to people as "everyone else got to learn the game before we started, but I have to learn the game as we're playing it" feels somewhat accurate to me. How about you? I think my experience mostly agrees with yours. I get the sense that the "very literal, doesn't understand metaphors or figures of speech" thing is based on the behaviors of a limited subset of autistic people. Like a lot of late-diagnosed folks, I was a very early and eager reader, and fascinated with words and language. In addition to being a great, mostly-socially-acceptable supply of stimulation for my also-undiagnosed ADHD, I think reading everything on the same library shelf as Diana Wynne Jones also taught me a lot about social interactions and sarcasm and stuff. At least, enough to pass as "just" awkward and quiet. But I know there's still stuff I miss, and so literalism is a safe backup option if I'm not sure what someone means, if I'm sufficiently stressed that I start having trouble with language, or if it's a sensitive topic where I don't want to risk any misunderstanding. The real joy is that metaphor and sarcasm and whatnot aren't really a single communication skill, they're more like a set of tools that are used slightly differently depending on the context and the cultural environment, and each new group of people requires time to adjust before you can be confident about how literal they're being about something.
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Nov 30, 2021 15:31
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Pththya-lyi posted:Masking is exhausting! I like going to social events and talking to people, but I crash afterwards. the Amtrak quiet car is now about half of the train, and violators are punished by being thrown off the caboose, Western movie style 
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Dec 6, 2021 23:13
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Pillowpants posted:There’s a good Facebook group called autism inclusivity run by by autistic adults. It’s certainly been a helpful learning experience. Yep, autism is highly heritable! Not everybody will necessarily have the same experience, but it's very common for traits to show up throughout entire families. I know that my dad and all of my siblings show some autistic traits, I'm just the only one who ever pursued a diagnosis.
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Mar 19, 2022 01:18
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Cloacamazing! posted:One thing I'm not sure about is telling my family. I'm worried especially that my mom and sister won't believe me, they have a past history of downplaying things I say and telling me I misremember something or that it couldn't have been that bad. I worry that they might just decide I'm being melodramatic and tell me everybody is a bit like that. Wouldn't be the first time. The bad thing is, I told my husband about those worries to see if maybe I'd misunderstood things, but he's worried about that as well. This is unfortunately super common with heritable brain stuff like ASD and ADHD. Because it runs so strongly in families, odds are that your family members genuinely think that the challenges they experience are completely "normal," particularly if the traits in question manifest less strongly in them or if they've managed to build reliable coping mechanisms. For a lot of people in that situation, to hear that they may actually have a condition threatens their self-image, leading them to shut down the idea or lash out.
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Apr 27, 2022 13:16
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credburn posted:I was hoping to poll you folks, to ask, if you were to go to a place where a bunch of autistic adults were meeting up, what sort of thing would help you feel most comfortable there, and what kind of location do you think would be best for you, and might help encourage interaction between the members of the group? If you liked the general direction of meeting up at a bar for trivia, but there were too many sensory issues, you could try a brewery instead. Plenty of those tend towards the quieter end of the spectrum and you might be able to find one with a side room you could use. Otherwise, maybe try a park! Grab a few picnic tables and have folks bring along whatever snacks and drinks they prefer, with enough to share if they're willing. Blankets and folding chairs make seating more comfortable for those who need it.
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May 5, 2022 23:02
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Cloacamazing! posted:-snip- Yes, you sound a lot like me to be honest! What you're describing is "masking," the learned practice of hiding or compensating for neurodivergent traits or behaviors in order to get through life. Often, kids start picking up the basics of masking so early that it becomes subconscious and second nature, and it becomes hard to realize they're doing it at all. The only sign might be a deep exhaustion after social events, because masking is cognitively very taxing; you're using active brain resources to do things other folks do nearly automatically. Unfortunately, the ASD diagnostic criteria were written for children, and pretty crudely at that. They fail to fully consider the internal experience of autistic folks, and they tend to miss people who made it to adulthood without a diagnosis simply because they necessarily built up an array of coping skills and masking strategies along the way. That sounds like you, to me, although IANAD.
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Jun 14, 2022 12:13
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DiHK posted:-snip- Welcome to the sideways brain crew! If it's any comfort, you're far from alone. Late diagnoses triggered by diagnosis of a child are very very common and it just goes to show how much we've learned about autism in just the last decade or two. Regarding a formal diagnosis, there's really no medication or therapy that's broadly useful but requires a diagnosis to access (unlike, say, stimulant medications for ADHD). You may find value in seeking a professional evaluation for other reasons, such as personal satisfaction or to access legal supports and accommodations under the ADA, but if not, there's no real reason to go spend the money. Here's a PDF from the University of Washington Autism Center that's aimed at folks in your situation, although some of the resources it lists are Seattle-specific. As it notes: UWAC posted:Often people seek an autism evaluation in hopes that it will open the door to the support that they need. Unfortunately, many find that the official diagnosis did little to change their practical circumstances. Autism-specific services for adults are severely limited. And if people around you are intolerant of your differences and difficulties, they will not necessarily become more accommodating after an official diagnosis. For many, the best part of learning they’re autistic is understanding themselves better and finding a like-minded community. This can be pursued without a formal diagnosis. As an adult-diagnosed autistic, the best things for me have been a) giving myself a lot more compassion and trying not to shame myself for needing space or time, b) being open about my specific needs with close friends and loved ones, and to a lesser degree at work, and c) finding a therapist who understands ADHD and ASD and the trauma of growing up in a world that constantly rejects you in a thousand little ways, so as to start unwinding some of that mountain of shame. That last one is an extremely ongoing project.
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Jul 8, 2022 15:28
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impossiboobs posted:I thought that the RAADS-R was vague and that it would be easy to get a high score even if you were neurotypical because a lot of the questions seemed like normal things to me. I generally score around 150-160. I had my boyfriend take the test to see if he'd also score high. He got like a 30. I've also seen a lot of criticism of the questions on those types of autism diagnosis tools as they are weirdly worded for people with autism, or the answers don't really cover everything. Basically the same gripes you mentioned. There are also questions like "do you take everything literally?", which I've seen comments were people are saying "They don't mean this question literally. Autistic people tend to understand the question as 'I always think everything is literal. I don't understand sarcasm.', but what the writers mean is a more subtle 'I take everyone at face value. (Meaning things like if someone says they're having a good day, you believe them instead of thinking that they're just saying that because they are supposed to.)'" Which is really dumb of the question writers if true. Secretly, the actual score you get on the RAADS-R is totally meaningless. They actually evaluate you based on the amount of time you spend agonizing over the ambiguous phrasing of a question. Not really, but this experience seems so universal it might as well be a diagnostic criterion.
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Jul 8, 2022 16:42
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I also have fewer texture sensitivities with food than a lot of other folks (my siblings got most of that), but God forbid someone try to mix fruity and savory. Fruity glazes on meat, or apple on a sandwich, or mango salsa can gently caress right off. I've even tasted all of those and they're not bad, they're just wrong! 
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Aug 1, 2022 04:35
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Camrath posted:Oh god yes- hard chewy semi dried gummies are the best. Ugh. Styrofoam rubbing on Styrofoam, nails on a chalkboard, or the sound of filing their nails are the big ones for me. Still can't handle it. The sound/sensation of sandpaper on wood can be pretty rough too depending on the coarseness of the sandpaper and the wood involved.
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Aug 1, 2022 14:08
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When I had my formal assessment, the psychologist I was working with noted in advance that the testing instruments might be a little clunky, and asked me to note any confusion I had, so I definitely monologued hesitantly about weird question wording more than once (presumably incrementing a counter just off camera ). I also noted a bunch of really lovely assumptions in a few of them, like one that asked about relationships with "the opposite sex," which didn't make a lot of sense for A Gay like myself. Thankfully she seemed glad to get the feedback, and hopefully as more adults are seeking diagnoses and support we'll see improvements in the assessment tools as well.
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Aug 12, 2022 21:59
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Nolgthorn posted:Also turns out if you ask first you can gleam a lot of information about what kind of day they are having. Sets a tone for any conversations you'll have with that person for the rest of the day. It's not that interesting but that's part of what's happening too. Yep, even though you're not really supposed to literally answer the question, the range of ritual answers does offer some nuance. "I'm great!" with a cheerful expression is a pretty far cry from "I'm here" with a bit of an ironic grimace. (I like that one myself because it expresses mild discontent without being a downer, so even if people are feeling bubbly they can sort of chuckle and respond "well, at least there's that!" or something stupid.)
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Aug 29, 2022 11:29
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e.pilot posted:given my job I’m glad I’ve never had any mental health diagnoses beyond depression, and even having that in my medical history made getting a medical clearance a chore Hello friend, you're not alone! Also lol at an agency overseeing an intricate, highly orchestrated infrastructure system where laser focus and deep subject matter knowledge are major assets deciding it needs fewer autistic folks.
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Aug 30, 2022 01:01
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Mamkute posted:https://youtu.be/EZ7cStxqgFE?t=628 Aw Christ that's loving dire. Here, I'll pull the relevant image out (although the video is good):  Thank goodness for Superflex or I might fall to the dark side of imagining that my feelings and desires have validity!  Also I'm Worry Wall but mostly because my limbic system was utterly broken by being Glassman as a kid, yay.
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Dec 9, 2022 16:41
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Cross posting from the ADHD thread: for anybody else living in the US, I recently learned that Interagency Access Pass offered by the NPS, USFS, and a bunch of other outdoor recreation agencies for folks with permanent disabilities requires only documentation that you have a disability and that it's permanent-- it doesn't have to be a 100% disability. Anything covered by the ADA qualifies. If you've got anything lying around with that information already or the ability to ask a doctor to write up a quick note to that effect, you can send it in online or take it physically to a National Park or whatnot and they'll issue you a lifetime pass to go be in the woods for free! Which is neat. I'm told you can also do it without the documentation if you go physically to an issuing site and sign an affidavit, but I can't arrest to that ( ) myself.
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Jan 27, 2023 18:45
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Soylent Pudding posted:Sup thread. I started ADHD meds last year, noticed some unexpected mental and behavioral side effects and sure enough I'm likely also autistic. I'm self diagnosed but have talked it through with my therapist a fair bit. So far I haven't found a place on my insurance that screens adults. Which really makes it sting when I told my grandmother about this and I found out my elementary school teachers wanted me screened but my mom refused because "I'm too smart to be autistic". Welcome!  If it helps at all, a formal diagnosis is probably only necessary if you really want one for informative purposes at this point. Most autistic communities welcome self-diagnosed adults, given the sheer difficulty of accessing the diagnostic process for most people who aren't kids. I had the same diagnostic path as you and I did it anyway, but I was lucky and scraped in at the very top end of the clinic's age limit (the diagnostician was very apologetic about all of the screeners that were clearly meant for parents of six year olds to answer ).
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Feb 18, 2023 01:01
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DrNewton posted:Then why does this happen every day, and more than once? I am trying very hard to think of nice memories ... it's like ... was there ever a moment I didn't upset someone or did not do something stupid? I guess the days I didn't talk much. This has been going on for years and years. Well, there's a lot of reasons why these kind of thoughts tend to be sticky-- among them that trying to suppress or push them away can sometimes lead your brain to keep bringing them back up again-- but it also seems like maybe you've spent a lot of time hearing about your perceived failings from other people, and maybe have internalized some of those narratives on some level. That poo poo is really hard to shake, and you don't deserve that kind of shame regardless of the emotional responses people had to your actions years ago.
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Feb 26, 2023 17:38
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It seems unfortunately pretty common for someone who has developed a lot of expertise in working with, for instance, autistic kids with very high support needs to build up a blind spot about folks who don't match their mental picture of autism. Part of it is just normal monkey brained cognitive distortion-- after all, I know so much about autism and you don't fit in this box I've labeled autism. I think part of it is also a side effect of the medicalized, deficit-focused treatment of autistic folks in most institutional settings making it hard to conceive of autistic adults living normal-rear end lives. And then on the third hand, it's also not uncommon for close relatives of an autistic person to display a certain level of inflexibility, whether or not they themselves would necessarily meet the clinical criteria for ASD. Yay genes! 
Quorum fucked around with this message at 15:17 on Apr 3, 2023 |
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Apr 3, 2023 15:15
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In reality, of course, an autism scare is when someone drops by your house unannounced 
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Apr 7, 2023 23:24
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Depending on the situation, it may be easier and/or less complicated to describe yourself as neurodivergent, and politely demur from going into further (medical) detail. That covers a pretty wide range of brain flavors, many of them very common, and it's a big HR buzzword right now that can give you a segue--if it's something you want--to discuss your specific strengths and talents, both brain-flavor-related and otherwise, and how they would be an asset to the program. Of course, you absolutely don't need to disclose even that if you're not comfortable; employers generally aren't allowed to inquire about a prospective employee's medical history, so anything you share should be your choice to disclose.
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Apr 12, 2023 18:16
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So, most assessments beyond schooling age are done by private clinics, and the actual diagnostic would need to be done by an appropriate professional (generally a psychologist of some description). I'd first ask your insurance about referring you to a clinic-- not all insurance covers ASD diagnostics, and those that do don't always cover them for adults, but there's a chance yours does and if so you'll want to work through them. Even if you're going out of pocket, the list they give you is a good steering point. Go down that list, checking to see if they work with adults who are requesting a diagnostic for themselves. If you don't see that information, call or email them to ask. Unfortunately, a lot of places don't evaluate adults, because a) awareness of adult autism is very young and b) the autism industrial complex is hyper focused on diagnosing and treating school aged children. That said, you're in a major metro area, so you've got a good chance of finding a practitioner willing to work with you. If you strike out, try contacting psychology departments at major research universities with associated hospitals. If you have to put yourself on a wait list, do it -- the worst outcome is you find someone sooner and have to call to cancel. All that said, the marginal benefit of an evaluation isn't that high. You won't gain access to any medication or particular therapies you couldn't access otherwise, so the only reasons to go for a formal diagnosis are for your own self understanding or to access disability accommodations under the ADA. That's not to dissuade you-- if you want to seek evaluation you should totally do so. But at least it's a good thing to keep in the back of your mind if your process takes longer than you expect.
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Apr 22, 2023 20:26
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The old Simon Baron Cohen-style belief was that autistic folks have deficits in empathy, but it turns out both autistic folks and empathy are way more complicated than that! For one thing, empathy manifests in (at least) two broad systems: cognitive and affective. Cognitive empathy is roughly the ability to recognize someone else's emotions or take their perspective. Affective empathy is the ability to share or mirror those emotions. Sometimes you'll also see "empathetic concern" or "compassionate empathy" as a third type, the motivation to help others in distress. When you break it down like this, the one autistic people generally struggle with is cognitive empathy: that is, we have a harder time figuring out what's going on in someone else's head, but once we do find out, we're much better at sharing those emotions or taking action to help as needed. But even that isn't quite so clear, because of the double empathy problem. Basically, it's not just that we struggle to identify the emotions of allistic people, but also that allistic people struggle to identify our emotions. Among others whose thoughts and behaviors make more sense to us, we experience fewer obstacles to understanding-- which I personally think helps explain why we gravitate towards autistic and other neurodivergent folks, sometimes even without realizing it.
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Jun 6, 2023 13:21
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Like some others who've posted, I do great with children in general, and I think my husband and I would be great parents. We're Advanced Gay, and unlikely to ever be able or willing to pay for surrogacy, so it'll be adoption for us and the weird genes won't be an issue. We've agreed we're not planning on it for at least another few years, though. I am mindful of the incredible strain that a new kid represents, but my husband does a very good job of buffering my struggles and vice versa.
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Jun 20, 2023 02:12
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TIP posted:not a fan of referring to self diagnosis as more controversial than ABA I agree. The University of Washington Autism Center's publication on the subject hits pretty close to the mark.
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Jul 3, 2023 00:06
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It's something I doubt we'll understand for some decades yet, but I'm fascinated by the neurodivergence-gut issues correlation and interested to see what ultimately explains it. It's been well known enough that grifters have been trying to convince autism moms that the correct enemas would cure their kids' autism for decades. I sincerely doubt there's anything like as direct a causative link as that, and it's not even clear that causation would run in that direction, but there is something there.
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Jan 14, 2024 02:42
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