credburn posted:

Something like fifteen years ago someone on this forum made an ask/tell thing about autism. I can't remember much of it, only thinking it was kind of interesting, and I remember there was that fellow whose online handle was something like ullululuul and he having autism. I could relate in a lot of ways to these two, except I wasn't autistic.

Whoops fifteen years later actually turns out I have autism and it explains a LOT of my life. Since my diagnosis like two years ago (I'm 35 now) I've recontextualized my entire life, and I feel I have a somewhat handy perspective on life as a "high-functioning person with autism" (or Aspergers, but both that term and "high functioning" aren't really acceptable anymore. For the sake of helping anyone understand, though, I'll just use them. They do a better job of illustrating a person's capacity for autonomy and executive function than the more politically-correct replacement terms do. I think for a little while, we're going to be in a nomenclature limbo until we can find a fun way to say "low functioning." because I spent 33 years not knowing I was autistic and trying god drat loving hard to be "normal." I have at times, like a drunken chameleon, fit in around the normies around me, and other times now. But I've lived on both sides, and have two different perspectives on what an autistic person is. I say all that because I think that gives me a unique advantage in understanding how to convey some of the nuances of autism with someone who is neuro-typical and perhaps does not really "get" autism.

Soanyway. Ask me whatever. I'm happy to share what I can; it is therapeutic for me, too, as discussions like this I imagine can in turn help me better understand how I am perceived or how others might feel toward someone like me.

Oh, one more disclaimer: autism is a spectrum, right? On one side of it you have cool dudes like Anthony Hopkins and, I don't know, Beethoven probably, who can utilize autistic superpowers to propel them into greatness. But on the other side of the spectrum there are people who can't speak, who can't walk, who live in a wheelchair and drool and will never experience life beyond that. My own experiences are unique to me, but I suspect there are many facets that have a much wider application. One might suppose I fall somewhere around the middle - I'm certainly not what one would call "low functioning," but at the same time, I'm so awkward and anxious and puzzled by the world around me that a lot of the time it feels like I'm just two really big mistakes from ending up in a situation where I need someone to look after me. Anyway, it's kind of like asking a black guy what it's like being black. His experiences aren't going to be representative of all black people, but maybe a lot of them, and as a white guy I sure as poo poo don't know what it's like.