Russian guy is suing Apple for turning him gay.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Russian guy is suing Apple for turning him gay.

Lodin: Jul 31, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Don't you just hate it when some rear end in a top hat sends you a bunch of gaycoins so now you have to go out and find a male prostitute to spend it on. Hell, before you know it you end up with a boyfriend like the guy in this story.

quote:

A Russian man is seeking more than $15,000 in damages from Apple after claiming that the U.S. tech giant drove him to homosexuality, the Govorit Moskva radio station has reported.

The plaintiff, identified as D. Razumilov, alleges that he became �mired in same-sex relationships� this summer after receiving 69 GayCoins on a cryptocurrency payment app he downloaded onto his iPhone in 2017. The unknown sender was said to have included an English-language message that Razumilov interpreted as �don�t judge without trying.�

�I thought, indeed, how can I judge something without trying it? And decided to try same-sex relationships,� Razumilov wrote in a complaint published by Govorit Moskva on Wednesday.

�I can say after the passage of two months that I�m mired in intimacy with a member of my own sex and can�t get out,� his complaint continues. �I have a steady boyfriend and I don�t know how to explain it to my parents. After receiving the aforementioned message, my life has changed for the worse and will never be normal again.�

Razumilov accused Apple of �manipulatively pushing me toward homosexuality,� which caused him �moral suffering and harm to mental health,� in his 1 million ruble ($15,300) complaint.

Moscow�s Presnensky District Court registered Razumilov�s lawsuit last Wednesday, according to the court database, and has scheduled an interview for Oct. 17.

Now I miss my iPhone as much as the next guy but all the forced buttstuff just wasn't worth it. I'm much happier now that I have an android and only gently caress sheep.

https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2019/10/02/russian-iphone-user-sues-apple-for-turning-him-gay-a67564

Lodin fucked around with this message at 18:23 on Oct 2, 2019

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:03

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 15:17

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Lmfao

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:04

Mr. Creakle: Apr 27, 2007; Protecting your virginity

Where�s MY 69 GayCoins?

Sent from my iPhone

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:09

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

The value of GayCoins should continue to inflate as the market expands, but I'm still somewhat concerned it could turn into a bear market.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:11

Dr. Snuggles: Dec 3, 2012; Tbh some of us (Pick) use this website more than others and I feel that I am unfairly subsidizing picks posting. Unless some kind of fee by post usage is enabled were basically instituting a forced welfare state of posting.

Phone gay so what

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:14

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

I'm always afraid cryptocurrency apps will add a backdoor into my phone

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:15

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

If apple makes you gay what does android do?!?

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:16

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Does mean I can sue lowtax because: I'm gay

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:16

super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

Buttcoinsex

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:17

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Blyad gay so what

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:17

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Hasn't he ever heard? An apple a day keeps the hetero at bay.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:19

Dr. Gojo Shioji: Apr 22, 2004

The Moscow Times posted:

Razumilov accused Apple of “manipulatively pushing me toward homosexuality,”...

Imagine buying an Apple product without realizing this is the company's raison d'être.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:20

DICKLORD BONE: Aug 27, 2003

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Lmfao

69 gay coins

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:20

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

I wish i could afford to turn gay

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:22

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Icochet posted:

I wish i could afford to turn gay

Anal douching supplies are much cheaper than children.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:22

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

My old college buddy works at Apple. I'm contacting him right now to get to the bottom of this.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:23

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

Chomp8645 posted:

My old college buddy works at Apple. I'm contacting him right now to get to the bottom of this.

Good, Chomp has his top guy on it

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:25

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Chomp8645 posted:

I'm contacting him right now to get to the bottom

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:25

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

I asked him what they were doing over there to cause this and... he said if he told me he'd have to kill me!

I'm scared now. I think they got to him. They could be watching me now too!

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:28

Extra Large Marge: Jan 21, 2004; Fun Shoe

This seems like a scam to score more gaycoins

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:28

dsf: Jul 1, 2004

well hes right, no sense in wasting some perfectly good gaycoins

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:29

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

Icochet posted:

I wish i could afford to turn gay

The top 1% hordes 99% of the gay sex. Only Bernie Sanders has a solution for this.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:30

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Moon Atari posted:

The top 1% hordes

Mongols definitely.

Don't you be talking about no Huns.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:31

Lamebot: Sep 8, 2005; ロボ顔菌～♡

I think he has a slam dunk case if he submits YOSPOS as evidence.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:37

Stanky Bean: Dec 30, 2004

I dont get it do you have to like provide proof that youre doing guys to get the coins out of the exchange or what

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:37

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Stanky Bean posted:

I dont get it do you have to like provide proof that youre doing guys to get the coins out of the exchange or what

You have to provide at least a half dozen home videos of you loving your man to prove that you are consistently gay to the court and jury.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:38

i vomit kittens: Apr 25, 2019

Colonel Cancer posted:

If apple makes you gay what does android do?!?

you won't get laid at all

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:42

ASenileAnimal: Dec 21, 2017

lmao

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:44

Klyith: Aug 3, 2007; GBS Pledge Week

It's a normal crpyto ransom scheme. They send you the GayCoins for free, but then you have to buy the StraightCoins to get your heterosexuality back.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:44

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

я гей

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:45

Julius CSAR: Oct 3, 2007; by sebmojo

Haha, got �em

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:49

Kak: Sep 27, 2002

69 GayCoins go for 420 WeedCoins on the exchange. Coincidence?

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:52

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Kak posted:

69 GayCoins go for 420 WeedCoins on the exchange. Coincidence?

Legalize gay weed!

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:56

temple: Jul 29, 2006; I have actual skeletons in my closet

hell, same

# ? Oct 2, 2019 18:59

Schweinhund: Oct 23, 2004

They should settle the lawsuit in gaycoin

# ? Oct 2, 2019 19:00

Infidel Castro: Jun 8, 2010; Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice

Man, these Chuck Tingle books just keep getting weirder.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 19:02

taco season: Oct 10, 2014; College Slice

I really need to know how these GayCoins work.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 19:12

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

taco season posted:

I really need to know how these GayCoins work.

Well you see, every time you have gay sex, really go at it, a tiny fraction of a gaycoin is generated and added to your wallet.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 19:27

Klyith: Aug 3, 2007; GBS Pledge Week

taco season posted:

I really need to know how these GayCoins work.

"I have 69 GayCoins" is really just a pickup line, no GayCoins need to be exchanged to have gay sex

# ? Oct 2, 2019 19:33

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 23, 2024 15:17

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

So Apple turned a man into a fruit and he's sueing.

I'm waiting for the class lawsuit against Google by all the innocent victims who searched for "goatse" then turned gay.

# ? Oct 2, 2019 19:37

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Russian guy is suing Apple for turning him gay.

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