ITT we're 65 and our peepees don't work

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ITT we're 65 and our peepees don't work

buglord: Jul 31, 2010; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!; Buglord

heh i guess this is how ol Gene must've felt god bless him soul.

lemme dial up the doc and see if he can make little bug work again

*gets in toyota pickup*

# ? Oct 9, 2019 08:06

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 18:06

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

living to 65 probably isnt gonna be something most people have to worry about anymore

# ? Oct 9, 2019 08:16

its all nice on rice: Nov 12, 2006; Sweet, Salty Goodness.; Buglord

Remember when Zoolander's agent couldn't peepee?! HAH! OLD PEOPLE PROBLEMS!! :xd:

# ? Oct 9, 2019 08:18

Good Ol Filbert: Jun 10, 2019

I took the Cialis too early, it started working at the store, but now that I'm home it's gone

# ? Oct 9, 2019 08:19

Good Ol Filbert: Jun 10, 2019

*puts on Gunsmoke* Hah, there we go, Miss Kitty will cure what ails ya

# ? Oct 9, 2019 08:20

dee eight: Dec 18, 2002; The Spirit
of Maynard

here's your pity reply: your thread sucks and you're uninvited from my birthday party

# ? Oct 9, 2019 08:22

DickParasite: Dec 2, 2004; Slippery Tilde

*runs hose from exhaust pipe to car window*
*closes garage door*
*gets in car, rolls up window*
*turns on car, starts Led Zeppelin 4 on Spotify*
*downs whole bottle of viagra with whisky chasers*
*punches cock until blackout*

# ? Oct 9, 2019 08:37

Grevling: Dec 18, 2016

*mobile phone rights, puts it up to ear without picking up*

Hello? My peepee don't work!

# ? Oct 9, 2019 08:40

Good Ol Filbert: Jun 10, 2019

Grevling posted:

*mobile phone rights, puts it up to ear without picking up*

Hello? My peepee don't work!

# ? Oct 9, 2019 08:43

AstroWhale: Mar 28, 2009

"oh no my peepee"

# ? Oct 9, 2019 09:05

immortalyawn: May 28, 2013; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

pissin all over the seat but hey its not my fault im blind

# ? Oct 9, 2019 09:13

Torquemada: Oct 21, 2010; Drei GlÃ¤ser

Good Ol Filbert posted:

I took the Cialis too early, it started working at the store, but now that I'm home it's gone

It has a half life of seventeen hours*, how far away is your store jfc

* or so I hear

# ? Oct 9, 2019 11:51

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

*supports the controversial "Nobody gets to have sex anymore" bill*

# ? Oct 9, 2019 11:54

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Retires just in time to not be able to have sex.

Twighlight Zone: "There was so much TIME now!"

# ? Oct 9, 2019 12:20

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

nobody wants to be the last person to die before they invent robot penises

# ? Oct 9, 2019 12:41

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

*writes new york times op ed titled "are millennials killing my dick?"*

# ? Oct 9, 2019 12:46

The Cockler: Mar 31, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

isn't the peepee an alt right thing?

# ? Oct 9, 2019 12:47

oh dope: Nov 2, 2006; No guilt, it feeds in plain sight

*plays guitar on the beach while the sun sets*

# ? Oct 9, 2019 12:59

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

The Cockler posted:

isn't the peepee an alt right thing?

See your urologist.

# ? Oct 9, 2019 13:01

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

*sticks increasingly large dildos in butt*

# ? Oct 9, 2019 13:38

Pickwick High: Aug 4, 2019; They call me Nutse

Hey who has the biggest prostate round here? Mine is just under 2 lbs

# ? Oct 9, 2019 13:52

milkingmycow: Mar 28, 2008; by Cyrano4747

Mail order wife files nails down to stubs. fingers bleeding. scowl on face.

# ? Oct 9, 2019 15:37

Tato: Jun 19, 2001; DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values

*shuffles up to pee at urinal. Takes an uncomfortable amount of time just standing there getting dick out*

*GRUNT*

*pees a little bit*

*HRRRRGH*

*continues to just get out little droplets of strained piss*

*COUGH*

*at last a pathetic stream establishes itself*

*MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAN*

*HRRRRGH*

# ? Oct 9, 2019 15:55

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

*refuses to get a prostate exam because "it's gay"*

# ? Oct 9, 2019 15:58

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

*can't get the doctor to examine prostate anymore, instead gets lecured about boys and wolves wtf*

# ? Oct 9, 2019 16:05

Derpies: Mar 11, 2014; by sebmojo

my little shrimpy boy cant get to the cocktail sauce anymore

# ? Oct 9, 2019 16:12

Loky11: Dec 12, 2006; Pull on the new flesh like borrowed gloves and burn your fingers once again

hold on, i'm sure i have the dr's number stored here in my jitterbug phone

# ? Oct 9, 2019 16:16

AstroWhale: Mar 28, 2009

The Cockler posted:

isn't the peepee an alt right thing?

the left cant piss

# ? Oct 9, 2019 17:08

20 Blunts: Jan 21, 2017

no matter the thread topic in gee b s today... i have the same post : can't wait until im dead

# ? Oct 9, 2019 18:28

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

*probes poster for outdated slur from the 70s*

# ? Oct 9, 2019 18:44

Good Ol Filbert: Jun 10, 2019

Torquemada posted:

It has a half life of seventeen hours*, how far away is your store jfc

* or so I hear

18 hours

# ? Oct 9, 2019 18:49

Oscar Wild: Apr 11, 2006; It's good to be a G

Ah well guess I dont have to go after all.

*zips up pants*

*pisses self*

# ? Oct 9, 2019 18:50

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

*stands at the urinal trying to force the piss out*
* Shits pants instead*

# ? Oct 9, 2019 18:55

Good Ol Filbert: Jun 10, 2019

*tucks balls into socks*

# ? Oct 9, 2019 18:56

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnahhh

hhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAHhhhhhh

HND

hnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's better

# ? Oct 9, 2019 19:02

milkingmycow: Mar 28, 2008; by Cyrano4747

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# ? Oct 9, 2019 19:09

Devils Affricate: Jan 22, 2010

We are probably like 20 years away from having fully functional robotic dong replacements so at my current age of 35 I'm not worried about the future

# ? Oct 9, 2019 19:10

Good Ol Filbert: Jun 10, 2019

The future can be now if you volunteer your body to dick science for research. RoboPenis, gently caress like you're in the future!

# ? Oct 9, 2019 19:16

EvilJoven: Mar 18, 2005; NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?; Fun Shoe

Good thing the medical industry spends as much developing hard on pills as it does curing disease.

# ? Oct 9, 2019 19:19

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 18:06

EvilJoven: Mar 18, 2005; NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?; Fun Shoe

Oh no I've been erect for more than 4 hours curse you hard on pills!

# ? Oct 9, 2019 19:19

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ITT we're 65 and our peepees don't work

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