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BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Anyone know how to get a hole-in-one on those windmill things? I've been thinking about taking the test and trying to go pro but the windmills are a huge Achilles heel of mine.

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ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Hit it as hard as you can. :hai:

barnold
Dec 16, 2011


what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot
Just jam your loving balls in that hole, OP. Really slam those things in there.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug
Minigolf is cool in theory but in practice you just get stuck at the third course and then you realize you have 300 more to go and it's just ugh. The problem is the balls don't go the way you want. So what they could do is raise up the courses and play it like pool instead, with a cue, so it's easier to send the ball in the desired direction and speed.

Frank Frank
Jun 13, 2001

Mirrored
When I was eight, I was playing mini golf with my dad and brother. I hit the ball too hard and as I ran to retrieve it, I tripped and landed on my arm hitting one of those metal railing-things that frames each hole.

I was crying and my dad kept telling me not to be a pussy and suck it up until he realized it was broken. It took too long to get the cast on me so a few weeks later, the doctor had to “re-break” my arm. It sucked.

So, what I’m saying is, don’t do that.

barnold
Dec 16, 2011


what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

Mooey Cow posted:

Minigolf is cool in theory but in practice you just get stuck at the third course and then you realize you have 300 more to go and it's just ugh. The problem is the balls don't go the way you want. So what they could do is raise up the courses and play it like pool instead, with a cue, so it's easier to send the ball in the desired direction and speed.

Actually I think you're just dogshit at mini golf and need to get better. Just use the little line on the putter to aim it's not that hard

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Giant_Pupils posted:

When I was eight, I was playing mini golf with my dad and brother. I hit the ball too hard and as I ran to retrieve it, I tripped and landed on my arm hitting one of those metal railing-things that frames each hole.

I was crying and my dad kept telling me not to be a pussy and suck it up until he realized it was broken. It took too long to get the cast on me so a few weeks later, the doctor had to “re-break” my arm. It sucked.

So, what I’m saying is, don’t do that.

This is actually the exact strategy "Mad Dog" McPherson used to win the 2005 Puzzles Funtime Open so you may have just done it wrong.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!
Bring a driver, they don't give you one

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Giant_Pupils posted:

the doctor had to “re-break” my arm.

Oh snap!

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

bank it off a nearby tree or sign or person.

redneck nazgul
Apr 25, 2013

use the edge of the putter and not the face

Pickwick High
Aug 4, 2019

They call me Nutse
I play flog it's like golf but you play really well and then lose graciously to the CEO of Sony

Jesustheastronaut!
Mar 9, 2014




Lipstick Apathy

Giant_Pupils posted:

When I was eight, I was playing mini golf with my dad and brother. I hit the ball too hard and as I ran to retrieve it, I tripped and landed on my arm hitting one of those metal railing-things that frames each hole.

I was crying and my dad kept telling me not to be a pussy and suck it up until he realized it was broken. It took too long to get the cast on me so a few weeks later, the doctor had to “re-break” my arm. It sucked.

So, what I’m saying is, don’t do that.

How does a doctor break an arm? Does he have a special arm breaking machine? Did he do a wing chun arm break

Fried Watermelon
Dec 29, 2008


Just like in real golf the real strategy to win is to crush a beer before every hole

duck monster
Dec 15, 2004

You basically have to hit ball with stick at direction of hole.

You should definately trust my expertise I beat my 11yo on wii u once

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

cut a hole in your pocket and carry the same color golfball you use then just drop it out of your pant leg next to the hole.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

big nipples big life posted:

cut a hole in your pocket and carry the same color golfball you use then just drop it out of your pant leg next to the hole.

Omg ppl who cheat at mini golf are literally the most vile scum of the earth. :smith:

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

remember to scope out the hole before you tee off, my favorite mini golf hole ever is this big P shape like 20 feet long where the tee is at the base of the leg of the P and the hole is in the middle of the loop part, everything to the right of the P's leg is a little creek flowing parallel to the direction of play, towards the hole

so most people just take a wild swing down this narrow 8" strip of land and hope to bank it off the far wall into the hole, but if you take thirty seconds to actually look at the layout you can see that the creek ends up running through a grate down by the hole that angles up back onto the putting green - so you can just tap your ball into the creek and the water will carry it all the way down and pop it back up right next to or into the hole

Gay Weed Dad
Jul 12, 2016

cool dude, flyin' high

big nipples big life posted:

cut a hole in your pocket and carry the same color golfball you use then just drop it out of your pant leg next to the hole.

Alternately: cut a hole in your pocket and jerk off (way cooler than minigolf)

Dell_Zincht
Nov 5, 2003



You need some strategically placed scaffolding and a car or two, OP.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug

Tiny Tubesteak Tom posted:

Actually I think you're just dogshit at mini golf and need to get better. Just use the little line on the putter to aim it's not that hard

The user interface is dog poo poo

Frank Frank
Jun 13, 2001

Mirrored

Jesustheastronaut! posted:

How does a doctor break an arm? Does he have a special arm breaking machine? Did he do a wing chun arm break

Funny you should ask! The doctor basically grabbed my arm and twisted where the break was.
I am not exaggerating. I was not given any sort of sedative or pain medication. My parents were somehow ok with this.
It sucked.

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

Giant_Pupils posted:

Funny you should ask! The doctor basically grabbed my arm and twisted where the break was.
I am not exaggerating. I was not given any sort of sedative or pain medication. My parents were somehow ok with this.
It sucked.

The doctor gave you an Indian burn so bad your arm broke?

The Human Cow
May 24, 2004

hurry up
There's some good stuff in here:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0LrlfMyHDo

Frank Frank
Jun 13, 2001

Mirrored

Arrhythmia posted:

The doctor gave you an Indian burn so bad your arm broke?

Yes. Exactly like that only with more bone twisting than usual.

Hazo
Dec 30, 2004

SCIENCE



The fuckin holes planted in the middle of steep downward slopes are such loving bullshit I hate them so loving much

zooted heh
Oct 16, 2005

str8 mercin burgers my nigga
be the one keeping score then cheat. nobody is counting how many shots you took so just take a stroke off each hole and you'll win every game.

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Tom Brady posted:

be the one keeping score then cheat. nobody is counting how many shots you took so just take a stroke off each hole and you'll win every game.

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

if you are stuck at a mini golf place with a bunch of children please be careful because inevitably some loving clownass kid is going to wind up and swing the club like he's at the loving driving range and brain another kid with it on the upswing

every

single

time

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

drink 4-8 beers during the round

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

You know how on the 18th hole the ball goes into the return and you never get it back? It's also a glory hole so if you put your dick in it a stranger on the other side gives you a blowie.

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Chief McHeath posted:

You know how on the 18th hole the ball goes into the return and you never get it back? It's also a glory hole so if you put your dick in it a stranger on the other side gives you a blowie.

Never play the 18th hole and you can play as long as you want.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


If you don't play the 18th hole you can get a free golf ball to take home with you.

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

if you don't use the neon pink ball you a bitch

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

food court bailiff posted:

if you don't use the neon pink ball you a bitch

Yeah it’s good for when you are always hitting the ball into water hazards and dark corners. :flipoff:

Frank Frank
Jun 13, 2001

Mirrored

food court bailiff posted:

if you don't use the neon pink ball you a bitch

Always bet on blue

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Push mid lane hard and if it doesn't work, scream one of the gamer words at anyone nearby

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
First goon to post very carefully gets 6.

My advice a 60 degree lob wedge. It’s like none of you have golfed.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018
I mean honestly you have to be pretty careful or else it bounces off the bricks and goes out of bounds. Very careful even

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bertolt rekt
Jul 30, 2007

very carefully

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

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