hn thread: sed 's/entertaining/hilarious/g'

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > hn thread: sed 's/entertaining/hilarious/g'

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FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

dads friend steve posted:

I bet aj7 has a dope mating dance

# ¿ Jan 15, 2020 07:36

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# ¿ Dec 2, 2023 09:15

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

lancemantis posted:

this incorrecting nuclear take just flew past DC and hit Indianapolis

good

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 22:57

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

my bosses arent terribly interested in my long term health and well being, which is in a lot of ways worse than being raped and beaten and having my child taken from me and sold away

# ¿ Jan 23, 2020 03:40

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Oneiros posted:

I certainly don't support fascism but

lol there it is, the ultimate hn post opener

# ¿ Jan 23, 2020 22:01

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Suspicious Dish posted:

We're well paid but besides that, I'd be hard-pressed to think of a way we could collectively be treated with any more contempt than we already are.

i can think of a thousand ways your job could treat you with more contempt

just from basic retail: dress codes, bag searches, clock in and out, hours changing from week to week, strict limits on bathroom breaks, and on and on

# ¿ Feb 18, 2020 19:53

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

junior bankers make relatively little money. lots more than the janitor, but probably a lot less than their boss's secretary.

like if you have the credentials to be a junior banker, you could make 2x as much money doing pretty much anything else in the world

it's all a giant loving competition to get one of the cherry senior jobs where the pay is outrageous, and very few of them will actually get that

like almost all will wipe out, quit, and get a normal job that pays better. for most of the junior bankers, the years of sacrifice and suffering will be for nothing. and sometimes that pressure is enough to drive them to suicide. it's an extremely lovely game

biglaw is the same way - grind 100-hour weeks throughout your mid-late 20s for a chance at a partnership (that is actually no chance because that slot has already been set aside for someone who went to the same prep school as the senrior partner), get burned out and tossed aside, replaced by the latest young graduate from a top10 law school

# ¿ Feb 19, 2020 21:30

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

AFashionableHat posted:

I have a terminal case of computer touchery and I just got a library card this week because I can borrow books from anywhere in the state and get access to a bunch of academic journals from the comfort of my home.

One book I'm picking up Monday is $55 on Amazon. I make good money but I'm not stupid.

ive heard of a browser plugin that every time you view an amazon page it shows you if the book/dvd/whatever you are looking at is available in your local library system

libraries kick rear end. hoopla, kanopy, overdrive, free lynda subscription - youve already paid for it, might as well use it

# ¿ Feb 23, 2020 00:47

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Vomik posted:

is it true he�s a vegetable now? I can�t find anything about it except on like Fox News and stuff where it�s painted like a liberal conspiracy

he went off to a russian medical clinic for a procedure that had him in a prolonged medically-induced coma and although he is supposedly recovering at home he has made no statements, uploaded no videos of himself, and not commented on any current events. the only proof of life his daughter has offered is a ten-second clip of him controlling an rc car as it zooms around a patio while he wordlessly stands stock still

the preponderance of evidence points to his brain being 90% applesauce

# ¿ May 4, 2020 20:04

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

makes sense - you only get so many character points and you have to decide if family or success will be your dump stat

# ¿ May 19, 2020 07:10

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Cold on a Cob posted:

lmao he had to be a big strong man and go cold turkey and it almost killed him

even funnier - he couldn't get off the meds or go cold turkey, so he arranged to be put in a medical coma in order to cleverly avoid going through the hell of withdrawal

the fact that he had to trek all the way to russia to find a place willing to attempt this should tell you everything you need to know about how inadvisable a move that is

and now all evidence is that his brain is mostly tapioca

# ¿ May 24, 2020 22:00

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Plorkyeran posted:

danville's an awful place

it really is

# ¿ Jun 29, 2020 18:36

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

im the "authoritative" government ama

# ¿ Oct 17, 2020 22:28

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

kitten emergency posted:

what if we just remade dreamweaver but figma

figma balls

# ¿ Dec 7, 2020 21:18

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

apples basic business model is making consumer electronics that run ios and selling those at a nice margin, and also selling subscription services to run on those devices (at an even nicer margin)

# ¿ Jan 5, 2021 06:18

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

LastInLine posted:

every study in the real world has shown that the "market rate" vs normal billing is always higher since theres usually a minimum rate and connection service charges

its almost like it was designed to be that way as a scam

correct

(taken from here: https://jabberwocking.com/chart-of-the-day-the-great-texas-power-rip-off/ )

# ¿ Feb 24, 2021 17:01

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

the baffler is a good mag

# ¿ Mar 12, 2021 01:27

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Jabor posted:

yeah you need to make a bunch of worthless junk-tier fabs to grind up enough fab-building xp before the game lets you make the good ones

as the home of intel, america has a lot of experience with building worthless junk-tier fabs so we should be able to level up to making the good ones in no time

# ¿ Jun 20, 2021 03:26

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

DaTroof posted:

now i gotta try to track down a funny rear end article i read a while ago. it listed a bunch of academics who were into anti-aging and said something like, "they all have one other thing in common besides their preoccupation with immortality: they're all dead"

i remember an article looking at people predicting anti-aging breakthroughs and the one commonality they all had was that the breakthroughs would happen when the person making the confident predictions was in their mid-late 50s

# ¿ Aug 13, 2021 04:33

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Chris Knight posted:

hey marge, remember the time I took that wine making course and forgot how to drive!

thats because you were drunk!

# ¿ Oct 6, 2021 22:56

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Progressive JPEG posted:

yeah i was mostly thinking of its long community decline over a few years where the sane or interesting people were quietly but steadily falling off, leaving behind a bunch of loud libertarians with the effect accelerating and feeding on itself over time until there wasn't anything left

the classic Grognard Death Spiral: when a community begins to decline, the least intensely committed fall away first, leaving the conversation dominated increasingly by loud cranks, which drives away more non-cranks, and so on until all thats left is a dozen total assholes screaming at each other for all eternity

# ¿ Oct 16, 2021 02:44

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Achmed Jones posted:

but enough about yospos

weirdly, no. the sa system of escalating probations and bans tends to drive off the most annoying and aggressive posters (as opposed to the typical laissez-faire approach to moderation leading to the loudest and most belligerent posters overwhelming all discussion)

# ¿ Oct 16, 2021 03:42

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

im the "just leave me alone" libertarian who demands that everyone must conform to my extremely narrow and rigid social attitudes

# ¿ Oct 18, 2021 15:58

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Plorkyeran posted:

love a brag of "i had a lot of opportunities to be someone you'd know about"

strong esr "i was tangentially involved (if you squint) in a series of somewhat-important old computer things, who want to touch the hem of my robe" energy

# ¿ Nov 11, 2021 18:41

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Plorkyeran posted:

a generic stand-in clown name

dont sign your posts!

# ¿ Dec 2, 2021 17:56

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

also, since when are workplaces supposed to be places for expressing your True Self? they are places for getting work done and behaving in a professional manner. if you feel the overpowering need to express your True Self, well, thats what all the hours and spaces outside of work are for

# ¿ Dec 10, 2021 18:02

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Jabor posted:

A lot of the time you don't sit down at your desk and immediately jump into coding poo poo up.

You catch up on email, reacquaint yourself with what you were working on, figure out what you're gonna do today. That's work. But it's stuff you can do on the train just fine.

yeah its for your morning administrative tasks - update tickets, add notes to stories, read the cafeteria menu, ping people you need responses from, etc.

i cant image what kind of sicko actually gets work done on their commute home, though. thats for napping or staring blankly out the train/subway/bus window

# ¿ Jan 7, 2022 01:40

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

"I'm all for labor engaging in politics, but" - an archetypically HN way to start a sentence

# ¿ Jan 12, 2022 17:32

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

hobbesmaster posted:

my dad is an astronomer and said these guys would up in person in the 90s. email only is probably a godsend

a friend of mine went to cornell in the 1980s and got a work-study job in carl sagans office. his main task was to sorting all the cranks and kooks out of the daily mail. it kept him pretty busy

# ¿ Jan 13, 2022 08:29

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Zamujasa posted:

who gives a poo poo. why do they care that the game is free. what is wrong with these people

at one apple press event in the mid 2000s, stebe jorbs actually took questions from the assembled journalists (presumably one of the things to be announced was scratched at the last moment leaving a hole in the schedule to fill)

one of the tech journos kept badgering stebe as to why apple didnt cover its computers with promotional stickets. he absolutely could not understand why apple was leaving money on the table by refusing to poo poo up its products with "intel inside" and "powered by nvidia" logos. why is apple turning up its nose at free money?!?

# ¿ Jan 14, 2022 07:37

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Chris Knight posted:

it's so the OEM can profit off of Intel's marketing budget in a space with razor thin margins

yeah. for lots of laptops, those stickers (and the fees for pre-installing all that trial software junk) ARE the margin.

apples margins are high enough that they dont need to cover their products like nascar racers to break even, and apple is trying to appeal to an audience composed of people who are willing to pay a little extra to avoid having their gear gunked up with a bunch of stickers

# ¿ Jan 14, 2022 19:56

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Jose Valasquez posted:

wtf is a ring buffer

a tool used to clean and polish rings (and other forms of jewellery)

# ¿ Jan 23, 2022 18:13

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Achmed Jones posted:

they're doing other poo poo for 90 minutes with the water on

# ¿ Jan 28, 2022 22:05

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

fritz posted:

Surrealist Artist, Rapper & Fashion Designer with synesthesia Also Forbes writer

translated: "unemployable rich kid"

# ¿ Feb 8, 2022 18:35

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

some people enjoy the "coming up with an idea / getting the idea off the ground / building a team / working to make it a success" part of business a lot more than the "manage a large company" part of business

those people often leave a company once it reaches a certain size (or they sell it off) and then start again with another new idea. thats the platonic ideal of a "serial entrepreneur". such people exist but their numbers are drowned out by the people who call themselves serial entrepreneurs (by which they mean repeated failures)

serial entrepreneur should be slotted in with its etymological stablemates, the serial killer and the serial rapist

# ¿ Feb 8, 2022 21:13

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

the amount of effort people put in to trying to deny that the only way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more is just astonishing

next up: drinking nothing but ice cold water so your body has to burn calories to heat it up to 98.6 degrees. the more cold water you drink, the more calories your body expends, and the more weight you lose!

# ¿ Mar 10, 2022 17:13

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

jesus WEP posted:

at the start of the pandemic i watched that dude�s videos now and again, he analysed case numbers and compared patterns from country to country etc and it was fine. then he got a bee in his bonnet about vitamin d and it kind of broke his brain and he started talking like a conspiracy nut. sad!

engagement metrics are literally poison

# ¿ Mar 18, 2022 19:06

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

dating site profile

likes: walking on the beach, fresh cut flowers, traversing tree-like file systems (copying, deleting, things of that nature)

dislikes: mean people

# ¿ Mar 22, 2022 02:48

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Internet Janitor posted:

v will remain a language by and for clowns

this is all computer languages

# ¿ Jul 1, 2022 18:27

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

im not reading that and you cant make me :colbert:

# ¿ Oct 7, 2022 23:54

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# ¿ Dec 2, 2023 09:15

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

also "I'm a product of my upbringing and, frankly, a bunch of poo poo marketed directly at me" is about a thousand times better as an approach to explaining your tastes than the usual "beep boop my tastes are the result of a perfectly rational decision matrix and are objectively correct, people with different tastes or interests are just stupid" HN attitude

# ¿ Nov 28, 2022 02:49

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > hn thread: sed 's/entertaining/hilarious/g'

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