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Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug
Hmm, never had one of these orange things before, but the store said they taste like a mix between plums and dates. How bad could they be?

*bites*

Well that's, oh geez that's astringent ugh my teeth are all fuzzy, oh god it's getting worse what's going on :gonk:

Is it supposed to be like this? Oh gosh I can't hardly swallow my mouth is so dry, can't move my tongue, water does nothing. Am I having an allergic reaction?

Am I gonna die? Is this how it ends? Epitaph: "Bested by a store bought fruit" :gonk:

gently caress gently caress gently caress.

Okay I think it's getting better now. Maybe you're just not supposed to eat the skin? Let's lick the flesh in the bite a little and see.

Oh god oh no nope nope nope not again!!! :gonk: :gonk: :gonk:



Goones, please post in this thread about times you have been owned by fruits or vegetables.

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Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

i have literally no frame of reference for this

big trivia FAIL
May 9, 2003

"Jorge wants to be hardcore,
but his mom won't let him"

if you crack open the seed it will have a fork a spoon or a knife in it

Peg Sliderskew
Jan 4, 2010
I was owned by a Waldorf salad masquerading as potato salad at a 'friend''s wedding 15 years ago. It still makes me sick to think of. What kind of person decides to serve Waldorf salad with a roast beef meal anyway? The only person more sociopathic than someone who serves potato salad with a roast beef meal.

Hammerite
Mar 9, 2007

And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.
Jade Ear Joe
Ah, I know exactly what this tastes like! This is a very familiar experience to me, a person who has done what it says in the op, many a time.

Phy
Jun 27, 2008



Fun Shoe
In the words of Daffy Duck, "Thanksthsths for the sour persimmonsth, cousin"

Kak
Sep 27, 2002
i drank out of a beer can that someone used as an ashtray once

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

i have literally no frame of reference for this

Beefed Owl
Sep 13, 2007

Come at me scrub-lord I'm ripped!

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

i have literally no frame of reference for this

Persimmons have a tougher skin and thus don't squish when you shove them up your rear end

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

i have literally no frame of reference for this

Have you ever had a glass of wine that made your mouth kind of "dry"? Imagine getting that feeling times one million from taking a tiny bite out of an orange tomato.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Kak posted:

i drank out of a beer can that someone used as an ashtray once

Nah that was just an IPA

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

"ayyy that's not a spicy meat-a-ball" - person who bit into an unripe persimmon fruit, I guess

ELI PORTER
Sep 16, 2007

I posted on Something Awful and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
Aggh I just bite into an unripe persimmon fruit! I hate when I bite into an unripe persimmon fruit! Agh my mouth feel like I bite into an unripe persimmon fruit!!

Ichabod Tane
Oct 30, 2005

A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.


https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4
Persimmons are delicious and very sweet. If they are unripe and you don't want to wait, stick them in the fridge to speed up the process.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
*Bites a fruit*



"Dang, this fruit isn't ripe yet"

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
That's all I got OP. King of a boring prompt tbh.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018
Well this was an unfortunate waste of produce

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
I've never even had a ripe persimmon

Cerebral Mayhem
Jul 18, 2000

Very useful on the planet Delphon, where they communicate with their eyebrows
We have a persimmon tree in our back yard and I know the feeling like the op of tasting an unripe one. They're ok when fully ripe, which means waiting until they are soft and squishy to the point that you would think they were overripe.

We have opossums that come into our yard during persimmon season, which drives the dogs crazy. One dog absolutely hates them and has actually killed a couple, but they still keep coming.

Plant MONSTER.
Mar 16, 2018



I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop
the dry, rough/gritty sensation you get from eating unripe persimmons is your saliva proteins being forced to cluster together.

Grudgerm
May 4, 2012

by Reene
Uh oh there goes my shirt!

Pickwick High
Aug 4, 2019

They call me Nutse
Please show a graphic representation of your face after eating the persimmon OP

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
Imagine getting owned by a fruit. Such a low bar.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018

Burt Sexual posted:

Imagine getting owned by a fruit. Such a low bar.

GBS: such a low bar

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

The only "fruit ownage" I have experienced is biting into an apple/pear looking down and seeing half a worm all wrigglin' where I took my bite and I'm sitting there still chewing and like grinding the worm, at this point, goo around in my mouth.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
I like apples and bananas.

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


Chomp8645 posted:

I like apples and bananas.

pleb, only real fruitsters enjoy starfruit and durians

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Chomp8645 posted:

I like apples and bananas.

I like to eat eat eat eeples and beneenees.

Telephones
Apr 28, 2013
i was denied persimmon permissions

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000

I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress
Ultra Carp

Phy posted:

Thanksthsths for the sour persimmonsth, cousin

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

No thank you. I'm really more of a tomato boy.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

The_Continental posted:

more of a tomato boy.

She said see ya later boy

He wasn't ripe enough for her

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Resting Lich Face posted:

She said see ya later boy

He wasn't ripe enough for her

NOW HES A SUPERSTAR, KING OF THE SALAD BAR

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug

Pickwick High posted:

Please show a graphic representation of your face after eating the persimmon OP

Good Ol Filbert
Jun 10, 2019

This one time, I bit into what I thought was a potato in my stew, but it was just a chayote, and it wasn't cooked well which made it hard. The whole experience was terrible and now I am suspicious of all cubed potatoes in stew. :mad:

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug

Good Ol Filbert posted:

This one time, I bit into what I thought was a potato in my stew, but it was just a chayote, and it wasn't cooked well which made it hard. The whole experience was terrible and now I am suspicious of all cubed potatoes in stew. :mad:

I think that's wise. These things are what memory is for.
It reminds me of the time I bought a sandwich that looked like it had some slices of juicy cucumber in it, but after a few bites it turned out they were in fact jalapeņos.
Just one of many times I have been savagely owned by vegetables :arghfist::saddowns:

Good Ol Filbert
Jun 10, 2019

Mooey Cow posted:

I think that's wise. These things are what memory is for.
It reminds me of the time I bought a sandwich that looked like it had some slices of juicy cucumber in it, but after a few bites it turned out they were in fact jalapeņos.
Just one of many times I have been savagely owned by vegetables :arghfist::saddowns:

Hecking hell, man! :arghfist:

This other time, I picked some oranges from the tree in the back. I thought they were ripe and ready, but I peeled one and it was so effing tart. Then I felt bad throwing it away because it's still a small tree and it probably tried it's hardest... so I sat there and ate the rest of that tart, sour mess. OMG.. out of guilt for the little tree lol it's kinda funny now that I think about it.

Dravs
Mar 8, 2011

You've done well, kiddo.

Resting Lich Face posted:

I like to eat eat eat eeples and beneenees.

I like to oat oat oat opples and bononos

:hfive:

Good Ol Filbert
Jun 10, 2019

:mad: I just remembered something.

This one time we made ceviche, but they weren't careful with the lime seeds and some seeds scattered throughtout. All of the ingredients blended them in and every now and then I would bite into a gross seed who's juices were repugnant as all hell and made me put the ceviche down so I can panhandle the seeds out with a spoon. 2/10 stars for that ceviche

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Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I whip and brutally tame ALL fruits and vegetables to do my bidding and I assure you I leave NO produce unpunished

e: ooh ceviche owns one time I was in Puerto Vallarta and had the best ceviche from this little place but they also had the BEST saltwater cracker things to scoop it up with, and I've never been able to find something comparable state-side, even in the 'Mexican' section of grocery stores. They were like fluffy saltines, sorta? Hard to describe. Good poo poo if the cracker gets as much attention as the ceviche, which flippin owned.

Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 11:32 on Oct 16, 2019

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