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Hello D&D, good morning, how are you? If you are like me you are probably feeling ground down by the existential stress we are experiencing right now because of the Trump Administration; so I thought it would be nice to have a calm little gathering place for our community to vent and find solace together. I spent several years homeless in San Antonio, and during that time I attended Manny and varied services for the homeless. One of the very best things I saw it was a prayer circle/support group run every Wednesday night in the basement of a church. This circle always open with everyone going around the room and taking a moment or five to just share a little bit about their day. So D&D, use this thread to just share a little bit about your day. It doesn't have to be good, doesn't have to be bad, it doesn't have to be inside. It doesn't even have to have a point, it just has to be a share. Something that's on your mind, something that you feel needs to get out of you at this moment. This is a place that isn't about judgement or arguing or any of the innumerable Grudge matches playing out in the various threads on this phone- this thread is about finding solace in community. I'll go first. I'm having a good morning so far. Last night was rough, I'll be honest it's really hard to keep finding hope and keep finding the will to fight. I woke up this morning feeling depressed and depleted. On my walk out to 7-Eleven to get my morning coffee though, I saw school kids all standing along the street waiting for the bus. It was a gorgeous golden sunlit morning with fresh crisp air and the birds singing. and I was struck by the huge gap between my frustrated mood and my idyllic surroundings. and I got to thinking Maybe it's too late for me to ever feel the kind of optimism and excitement for the future that used to define my existence, but it's not too late for these children. And that's a reason to keep going on, that's a reason to fill my lungs with the fresh Mountain Air and spend a moment enjoying the bird song. Maybe it's not enough to carry me all the way to the end of this, but it's enough to carry me to the end of the day- and for now that's a victory I can feel proud of. Prester Jane fucked around with this message at 18:03 on Oct 18, 2019 |
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Oct 18, 2019 17:54
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:52 |
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Prester Jane posted:Hello D&D, good morning, how are you? If you are like me you are probably feeling ground down by the existential stress we are experiencing right now because of the Trump Administration; so I thought it would be nice to have a calm little gathering place for our community to vent and find solace together. So this is the latest angle to smear me with eh? Can't be bothered to engage with my arguments so just insinuate that I am trying to incite violence (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Oct 21, 2019 07:31
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You know what, I'll give it a good faith showing. Things could be going better. Didn't get the job at my old rotation site, even though I have a good reputation and working relationship with everyone there. Really regretting my choice of career but I did the "right thing" and worked very hard for a long time so no one can berate me for "getting an art degree" or whatever the usual "gently caress thou, hast mine" condescension is these days. Grandfather died, so I drove the 300 miles home for the funeral. Missing the first shift I've had since July for it and I really don't mind, but the pharmacist that was originally working that day I took the shift from is up a creek because the scheduler WILL NOT help them find new coverage. What a great company. Life is pretty stressful right now and I have several things I need to do but cannot, because money, so I guess I'm going to keep pushing for work and hope something happens. At least Saturday was interesting. Right after I got the news that my grandfather died I had to go in and play for a East Meets West gala event for the local Flying Tigers museum. Several acts from a Chinese political mission went on; dragon dancers, singers, and a gentleman playing a sanxian. Our blues/Louisiana jazz group finished the night with an hour long set and the Sanxian player really wanted to play Oh Susannah with us, so... we had a short jam session with a sanxian player who didn't speak English but really knew the hell out of Oh Susannah. Was invited to another gig 45 minutes away and I had nothing else to do, so out we went and continued to play until 1:45. Full night.
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Oct 22, 2019 17:47
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Here goes: Yesterday during work hours was awful. I had this huge cloud of despair over me about hopelessness w/r/t global warming. The thought that the world ends as we know it in 20 years had me completely paralyzed. The primary thing that helped was actually talking about it (posting in USPol) and having a lot of people talk me through how the issue was depression and I needed therapy or to talk to a doctor immediately. Anybody who said anything kind there, thank you. Just the act of getting my words out was cathartic and seeing that I'm not alone and there might be a way out of the pit felt way better. I've also resolved not to go back into the climate change thread, since it feels to me like a bunch of people are just rolling around in the misery similar to the tech or economic crash threads. That's fine for them, but I can't handle that without it ruining my mental state. I also ended up calling the HELP hotline later, because I didn't know where to get started with finding the right doctor locally. I was worried that they'd be annoyed about wasting their time since I wasn't in 100% crisis at the moment-- poo poo gets better or worse for me in waves, so I often don't have the ability to call when it's overwhelming. The actual answer was that I was being dumb and the person on the other end was able to get me the right contact I needed. I have an appointment for early next week. I get that this is a baby step and the real work starts after this point, but just having something to reach for is a kind of hope I've been moving away from for years. That thing about happiness peaking when you make around $75K and then it declines again afterward is 100% true in my case, which is super frustrating because any hint of money problems vanished for me about two years ago but the constant calamitizing in mind has only increased radically. After work was way better. I hope this doesn't come off as too bougie, but I spent a bunch at my buddy's LGS. Lots of people are stoked about the new MtG format, which basically plays like the old "normal" eternal format but currently has a much lower entry point and top end cost. I get that going from $1000 to $300 still is out of reach of a lot of people, but it also puts it in a lot of people's range again. As silly as it is, just being able to watch stuff play out and just spitballing decks was incredibly enjoyable and makes me sort of hopeful for the immediate tomorrow. And being able to look forward to anything is more than the nothing I felt like I had before. Thanks for setting up this thread, PJ. I don't see eye to eye with you much, but you at least give a poo poo about people and I think D&D needs something positive in the sea of bleakness and nothing matters nihilism. Also there's some queer solidarity, because I don't think you would get half the poo poo you do if you weren't trans, and that fact is loving disgusting.
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Oct 25, 2019 15:24
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More like how was your GAY
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Oct 25, 2019 23:43
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Get out of here Senor Chang
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Oct 26, 2019 17:08
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i got a crappy retail job. feeling v alienated from the product of my labor and indeed the act of production
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Oct 28, 2019 08:09
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I have a government job where I feel like on balance I help people more than I act as a cog in the machine. There's a number of people who are not in my authority to help, but I'm very transparent with them about it when it happens and when they need to call back if they still want their case handled. There's a lot more who are plainly in my authority to assist or at least inform, and I do my utmost to get 'em informed enough to untangle whatever mess they're in as quickly as possible, even if the call takes a while to work through. Overall it's a good job and I feel good at the end of the day. 
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Oct 28, 2019 23:55
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I've been traveling for 3 years now. One person, one pack. Gift economy - I prefer not to even do trades. Almost zero cash monies, though I do accept donations from time to time over paypal, and I know how to fly a sign when I'm squatting some downtown area. Most of the past two years has been on a bus. There's two children on that bus; one's five, the other is approaching her second birthday. Sisters. They're so awesome. I'm at an anarchist community in Tennessee. The bus is still here, but they'll be leaving for Florida in a few weeks. I did florida last year. I wanna get off the road and rest for a bit. I'm stayin' here for winter. Already got the community consensus. Been cutting and quartering wood. Woke up this morning in the community cabin. Had some water, stepped outside, rolled up a cigarette (gambler, in top paper) and smoked. Horn blew - two horns, food. Made my way down. The two-year-old says 'hi!' and climbs me. Potatoes, lots of great vegan options. The dumpsters are kind to us. The neighbor just got back from his journeys out west, and he's got a poo poo-ton of bubble hash. We put some on the CBD bud we'd received after helping someone three towns over shuck their plants, and pass the bowl 'round the large wooden table in the middle of the outdoor covered dining area. We're out of coffee. Tragedy. After some play time with kids, a good satisfying poo poo in the outhouse, a few more bowls of hash, some food, and some tobacco (someone had Spirit!), went and got the chainsaw running to attack that wet birch tree (birch? a poplar, I think, anyway). But the chainsaw's running weird, it ain't screamin' like it used to. Someone made a run to get coffee with foodies. Got the coffee in me. Yay. Then I came up to the front office, plugged my computer-machine in (the sun was bright and the solar at 13.7, good time to charge up). Caught up on some threads, wrote this - and I hear two horns blow. I'mma got get fed. Love y'all. Two horns just blew, better go eat.
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Oct 29, 2019 23:21
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My day was okay thanks for asking 
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Oct 29, 2019 23:47
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I got my hand sliced while at work and this is the 3rd work injury I've had but the first time I've been working for a company that wasn't so shity as to have some jerk in a button-down concern troll me about not taking the work comp. The blade also bounced off my knuckle which saved my thumb extension tendon from being cut. So all in all Im feeling this turned out ok.
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Oct 30, 2019 05:33
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My days are perfectly fine, actually. In my country in this season, the sun sets early that it is already dark outside at 5pm. This means that it is dark when I wake up and dark when I go home from work. A lot of people get seasonal depression because of this, which is very understandable, but I've always found it incredibly soothing and romantic for some reason. It fucks with my brain in the mornings though because if I wake up a little earlier than the alarm, I always tend to believe it is the middle of the night rather than early morning. My job is also incredibly fun. The pay is in no ways good, but I work for one of my country's largest environmentalist organizations for youth. I know D&D has a habit of going into a spiral of depression and anxiety regarding the future of this planet, and I am in no way better. It is easy to fall into it when you know the consequences of climate change after all. However, working with these youth who have become so incredibly empowered lately to fight for climate justice and fight against climate change is incredibly inspiring. It fills me with happiness knowing that so many of our future leaders and politicians will fight so hard for our future. We've grown a lot just this year alone, and from what we can see of our network of other environmentalist youth organizations, so have they. I remember reading in this thread that the best way to fight this spiral of depression regarding climate change is to get engaged with the fight. And I certainly recommend you to do it in any way possible. Hanging out with sadsacks and doomsayers will only further perpetuate the cycle of anxiety and depression. Getting to know people, establish connections and join the fight will make you realize there is hope after all, no matter how bleak it may seem
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Oct 31, 2019 10:50
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Stalins Moustache posted:My days are perfectly fine, actually. In my country in this season, the sun sets early that it is already dark outside at 5pm. This means that it is dark when I wake up and dark when I go home from work. A lot of people get seasonal depression because of this, which is very understandable, but I've always found it incredibly soothing and romantic for some reason. It fucks with my brain in the mornings though because if I wake up a little earlier than the alarm, I always tend to believe it is the middle of the night rather than early morning. Thank you so much man. I am just about ready to call a crisis helpline after work for the second time in a week. Both were brought on by reading the climate change thread. Yes, I know I shouldn't as a mental health thing alone (it was broken out from standard USPOL because of how much it breaks some people, right?) but I was trying the "confront your fears" thing. Guess what, it doesn't work. I already have a mental health appointment, but it's not for a week, and it was the first one I could get into. I'm constantly careening between some of elation/hope and awful, nothing matters depression and have been for about a week now. I am so lucky that I was able to get an appointment this fast-- it only took breaking down on the phone and someone actually feeling sorry enough to me to help. I don't understand and honestly envy the people who are capable of wading into the issue and not have it ruin their entire life. Your thinking is legitimately helping me get through this, because I still feel incredibly alone in this. Also KM deserves a huge thanks, because I didn't even know there was a depression helpline until she put one up in GRS. I hate to say something small like that made all the difference, but just that and having something resembling a safe space here is enough of a lifeline that I can get through to a real therapist to start getting this stuff worked out.
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Oct 31, 2019 19:47
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rkajdi posted:Thank you so much man. I am just about ready to call a crisis helpline after work for the second time in a week. Both were brought on by reading the climate change thread. Yes, I know I shouldn't as a mental health thing alone (it was broken out from standard USPOL because of how much it breaks some people, right?) but I was trying the "confront your fears" thing. Guess what, it doesn't work. I already have a mental health appointment, but it's not for a week, and it was the first one I could get into. I'm constantly careening between some of elation/hope and awful, nothing matters depression and have been for about a week now. I am so lucky that I was able to get an appointment this fast-- it only took breaking down on the phone and someone actually feeling sorry enough to me to help. I don't understand and honestly envy the people who are capable of wading into the issue and not have it ruin their entire life. Hey man, I'm just happy to help. Confront your fears, but also know how to handle them. The environmentalist movement has grown significantly, and much of it has to do with the rise of organizations such as Extinction Rebellion, Greta Tunberg and simply because of youth that have grown real loving tired of our politicians and governments doing nothing. In my country, Norway, we organized a climate strike back in March. We expected perhaps up to a thousand attendees in the capital and a few houndreds / thousands scattered around in towns and cities across the country. We had approximately 25.000 youth and about 40-50.000 youth all across Norway on that single day in March. I remember walking from the office and making my way down to the parliament where they had staged the climate strike in Oslo, and seeing that ocean of youth standing in front of the parliament. It was one of the most awesome sights I had ever seen. And it is those things one should focus on and participate in. Those are the things that gives you hope for the future; knowing that someone actually gives a drat. No one gains anything from doom and gloom. You, the peoples around you and society gains from activism and political participance in whatever capacity one is able to give. Environmentalist activism in Norway has reached the point where even the state owned oil company Equinor is desperately trying to regain favor by spending millions upon millions on advertisements talking about how they are the biggest promoter of green and sustainable growth; all because thousands of kids stood up against them and continues to stand up against them. And this is not only in Norway. We have seen climate strikes and marches everywhere all across the world. Youth are suing their states, their federal governments all across the planet. Participation in environmentalist organizations has grown significantly lately. We are realizing that this is the most pressing issue of this century Sorry to hijack the thread like this, but I am tired of the doom and gloom in D&D. Get involved and do something, y'all. It feels good. You don't have to be a keynote speaker, you don't need to be the person that stands in front of the marches; as long as you're willing to send a few e-mails, hang up a few posters, hand out a few flyers, help organize a small meeting, you're doing your part. And that is what is most important.
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Nov 1, 2019 10:14
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Stalins Moustache posted:Hey man, I'm just happy to help. Confront your fears, but also know how to handle them. I'm not the OP, but if you're here and interacting with people trying to make them less afraid and more happy I think you're welcome here. And I'm not just saying it because it's me you're helping. I'm a nihilist by nature, so the nothing matters stuff really hits me hard. I see doom & gloom as the main mode for the subforum-- 2016 broke lots of people and got a lot of the better posters toxxed. I don't think 2020 creates a recovery here regardless of who wins. There's just too much pressure and projection on them. Here's some pay it forward for the thread, because I just realized I might have a way to help. Dr. Red Ranger, I know you mention before you were having an issue with getting a job with a Pharmacy doctorate. I've got a buddy from college who does pharmacy research, so he might be able to help you find a better job. Either post or send an email to (name)@gmail.com if you want me to go forward with this. I'd almost bet anything would involve you moving if that's a deal breaker.
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Nov 1, 2019 13:58
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Hey, thanks man. I might follow up with you in the next few weeks after I see how this next batch of applications go. I have 3 or so out with hospitals within an hour of my hometown, one with the Foreign Service, and one with the Naval Base pharmacy in Yokosuka, Japan. The Yokosuka base would be rad as hell because I've always wanted to visit Japan and it would be an opportunity to go see winter in Hokkaido before climate change kills it. The Japanese jazz and rock scenes are also super interesting, so opportunities there. The leader of one of my bands who runs a recording studio out of his house needs help too; the label that's sponsoring one of our groups just dumped beaucoup dollars on him for studio upgrades and he'll need an alternate to help run it when he's out. With some luck I can put something resembling a living together soon. Edit: I'm watching some friends of mine play at the local Irish Pub and the singer offered to sell me a refurbed Conn 8h trombone for ~half asking price which is nice. I needed a new tenor and I wouldn't mind the same horn Carl Fontana played. Dr. Red Ranger fucked around with this message at 05:01 on Nov 2, 2019 |
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Nov 2, 2019 04:04
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:52 |
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Its bad. Will try again tomorrow.
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Nov 2, 2019 04:47
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