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Drank a giant coffee this morning and then dropped the missus off at her mall job. Ended up having to take a poo poo at the mall before I left and walked into the bathroom to find the cleaner just finishing up. I took the last stall and start to do my business. Seconds after a I pass a loose morning coffee poo poo the cleaner starts VIOLENTLY plunging the toilet in the next stall. This causes a fountain of lovely poop water to erupt all over my rear end and legs. I yelled "HOLY loving poo poo MAN TAKE IT EASY OVER THERE". He apologized and I told him no worries but there was no way to get properly cleaned up using cheap rear end public toilet paper. Had to drive home with itchy poo-butt and the lady is at work for another few hours so had to tell someone.
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Oct 20, 2019 02:19
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Shoulda called in us SA Goons.... we would have licked that toilet bowl clean....
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Oct 20, 2019 02:20
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thanks op I'm stealing this anecdote for the opening of my screenplay
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Oct 20, 2019 02:36
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I was really hoping he would still be cleaning when I emerged, changed, from the stall. Was really hoping for long awkward eye contact but the dude had ghosted.
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Oct 20, 2019 02:50
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Wake me up when something awful happens
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Oct 20, 2019 02:51
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Pics or it didn’t happen
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Oct 20, 2019 02:57
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Should have dunked his head in there like 'how do you like it mother fucker, you son of a bitch'
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Oct 20, 2019 03:00
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Putty posted:Shoulda called in us SA Goons.... we would have licked that toilet bowl clean.... Why does no one let me in on this
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Oct 20, 2019 03:00
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jokers trick.
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Oct 20, 2019 05:34
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something horrible just happened its this thread
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Oct 20, 2019 05:35
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Was the poop.. lovely? 
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Oct 20, 2019 05:37
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better you than me
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Oct 20, 2019 05:42
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somethinghorrible.com
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Oct 20, 2019 06:40
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If that’s the worst thing that happens to you this week, you’ll be just fine, op.
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Oct 20, 2019 06:48
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Laslow posted:If that’s the worst thing that happens to you this week, you’ll be just fine, op. drat. what happened to you this week?
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Oct 20, 2019 06:51
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Tane posted:thanks op I'm stealing this anecdote for the opening of my screenplay My cousin was a weird guy.
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Oct 20, 2019 07:02
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My Shoes posted:drat. what happened to you this week? Of course I had a entire staff of people qualified to deal with it. I was entirely clean in a matter of a couple minutes. I made those RN’s and assistants earn their paycheck though, and I felt bad for them.
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Oct 20, 2019 07:07
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op this is the third time this has "coincidentally" happened this week. One more and you're fired
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Oct 20, 2019 07:10
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that's ugly. i don't want to hear an ugly thing like this. what the hell op? are you some kind of freak who goes around telling everyone stories about how you got poo poo on yourself?
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Oct 20, 2019 07:26
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didn't read but ur in my prayers
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Oct 20, 2019 07:32
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There's no way he did it intentionally because you barged in and forced out a violent diarreah while he was still cleaning.
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Oct 20, 2019 07:32
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So, uh, What were you wearing?
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Oct 20, 2019 07:35
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Pneub posted:There's no way he did it intentionally because you barged in and forced out a violent diarreah while he was still cleaning. Yeah this guy cleans these cans on the reg, he knows all the tricks.
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Oct 20, 2019 08:06
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As the diarreah water spills over my ankles I cant help but let a small grin creep upon my face. Oh yeah, the boys in GBS are gonna love this one
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Oct 20, 2019 09:34
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DB Pooper posted:As the diarreah water spills over my ankles I cant help but let a small grin creep upon my face. Dat username/av/post combo, though. 
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Oct 20, 2019 10:20
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At least it was your own poo poo you got covered in OP look on the bright side
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Oct 20, 2019 11:37
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*in broad new yorker* "hey!! i'm poopin' here!"
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Oct 20, 2019 12:11
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Pneub posted:There's no way he did it intentionally because you barged in and forced out a violent diarreah while he was still cleaning. so the reason he attacked the stall next to me with the plunger was because someone left a floater in there, which is why i moved to the next stall. it was a tiny poop like a kid would do but he went at it like it owed him money.
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Oct 20, 2019 13:10
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I read this thread last night in a haze and now this morning I keep imagining the scene but with progressively funnier and more pronounced accents like a thick Brooklyn “HEY I’M POOPIN’ HEAR!” or a “WHAT IN TARNATION” and they’re all just gold, Jerry!
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Oct 20, 2019 13:13
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It's 7am and I'm still wasted and angry that you stupid hivemind cliquesh poltroons never let me in on loving toil-bowl tongue slopping action. It's greedy and frankly - extremely poo poo behavior.
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Oct 20, 2019 13:15
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Toilets don't work like that. I think you might be pulling a fast one on us, op. However, WHY you'd want to lie about your poo poo fetish feels weird to me, but you do you.
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Oct 20, 2019 13:16
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:It's 7am and I'm still wasted and angry that you stupid hivemind cliquesh poltroons never let me in on loving toil-bowl tongue slopping action. It's greedy and frankly - extremely poo poo behavior. I'm open 24 hours.
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Oct 20, 2019 13:17
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I'm mad as hell and compelled by peer pressure to take it some more!!
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Oct 20, 2019 13:17
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You should've fired your pistol wildly through the stall walls in every direction op
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Oct 20, 2019 13:31
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This is why we need the wall
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Oct 20, 2019 13:33
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From butts all poo poo comes from, and to butts it will return. Asses to asses, poop to poop. 
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Oct 20, 2019 13:36
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The world is a hardened double-ended poop dildo of love. 
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Oct 20, 2019 14:06
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Mall bathrooms are a great place to jerk off, so I've heard
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Oct 20, 2019 15:34
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In this crazy interconnected toilet system it might be theoretically possible to poo poo so hard that the poo poo shoots out the adjacent toilet and goes into someone elses rear end 
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Oct 20, 2019 15:41
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 13:51 |
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man goons just are looking for any reason to make their wives laugh at them
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Oct 20, 2019 16:00
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