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Nebakenezzer posted:I rented the snes Godzilla game which is like a really crappy fighting game set in a tiny city where you rip orbs out of your opponant That game had wasted potential all over the place, but at least the Game Center CX episode was good.
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Oct 24, 2020 17:26
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Knightmare was a pretty cool show fantasy adventure/gameshow I used to watch as a kid, where a young contestant would be put in a blue-screen studio with a massive helmet obscuring their vision, and off-screen advisors would have to shout instructions at them so they didn't fall into a pit or get blown up by a massive bomb. There was inevitably a tie-in game for all the home computers of the time, and while it was unlikely that any of those systems could reproduce the graphics of the show(which were a mixture of hand-painted backdrops and video toaster-type overlays), the programmers at Activision didn't even try. Basically, Knightmare The Game was a non-descript dungeon/maze game where all the rooms looked mostly the same except for colour palette swaps and the puzzles were just baffling illogical nonsense and nothing bore any resemblance to the series at all. This is how the game starts: you're immediately dumped in the first room which contains a couple of items lying on the floor and an old man. You can open the door and go into the next room which is empty and the door is locked. I'm convinced 90% of players never got further than this(youtube comments back this up), because the sequence of things you were supposed to do was basically un-guessable. Most people tried giving the old man either food or water which didn't seem to produce any result. It turns out you were supposed to give him food AND water, and then use the ASK command(you probably wouldn't know to do this as the instructions didn't bother to include a list of key commands) which causes him to drop a spade which you can use to DIG the floor in the next room which makes your Dungeoneer fall through the floor. To add insult to injury if you went through the wrong door from here, you ended up back in the room you just escaped from, except now you couldn't go anywhere because the door was still locked and your spade was a one use item. What a lovely game.
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Oct 25, 2020 11:26
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Some weird thing on DOS that I can't remember anything useful/helpful about, not even the name, had me utterly confused for the 10 minutes I tried playing it back in the early 90's at about 5.y.o., in no small part thanks to the presentation (the graphics were entirely ASCII but with text panels all over the place too). At some point there was a maze or some poo poo and making the wrong move resulted in a deafening descendng tone blaring from the PC speaker followed by the word -SPLAT!- at the bottom of the screen. Absolutely baffling nonsense. Then there was Captain Comic at around the same time, and the only reason this confused me was because my mate was a loving dummy who'd confused Comic's Mario-esque jumping sprite (arm raised with clenched fist) as a 'punch' attack, so we'd go around 'punching' bird enemies (they'd explode on contact, which only tricked the pair of us some more) only to suddenly loving die for apparently no reason. I tried it again about a decade later out of morbid curiostiy and immediately discovered that there was a button that let you shoot poo poo. Moral of the story? Read the manual, because kids are idiots. Maelstache posted:Knightmare was a pretty cool show fantasy adventure/gameshow I used to watch as a kid, where a young contestant would be put in a blue-screen studio with a massive helmet obscuring their vision, and off-screen advisors would have to shout instructions at them so they didn't fall into a pit or get blown up by a massive bomb. While that does sound like a shockingly poo poo excuse for a videogame, it's not entirely inaccurate to the source material; the TV show itself wasn't exactly one to shy away from suddenly bullshitting and/or dead-ending a team because they didn't do something correct several rooms back either. It could be exceptionally cruel at times with nonsense item guesswork in one room often causing a team's demise only a few minutes later: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRvBOrVKzYs&t=1041s How the *gently caress* was anyone going to know what rooms and obstacles were coming up next?
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Oct 26, 2020 16:46
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ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:Some weird thing on DOS that I can't remember anything useful/helpful about, not even the name, had me utterly confused for the 10 minutes I tried playing it back in the early 90's at about 5.y.o., in no small part thanks to the presentation (the graphics were entirely ASCII but with text panels all over the place too). At some point there was a maze or some poo poo and making the wrong move resulted in a deafening descendng tone blaring from the PC speaker followed by the word -SPLAT!- at the bottom of the screen. ZZT or one of its descendants, maybe?
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Oct 26, 2020 16:59
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ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:While that does sound like a shockingly poo poo excuse for a videogame, it's not entirely inaccurate to the source material; the TV show itself wasn't exactly one to shy away from suddenly bullshitting and/or dead-ending a team because they didn't do something correct several rooms back either. It could be exceptionally cruel at times with nonsense item guesswork in one room often causing a team's demise only a few minutes later: Ha, yeah, no argument there. The early seasons had some hilariously cruel Sierra puzzle bullshit where teams would frequently fail because they picked up the wrong item five rooms back. Although the team in the clip hosed up because it's pretty much a given that weapons were always useless. I think they had to tone down the cruelty down later on as it got to a point where a whole season went by with no winners. In hindsight I'm sure certain rooms were deliberately inserted by the production team to weed out crappy teams, like if one lot is particularly irritating they'll suddenly wind up in a bomb room with a really short fuse. That definitely happened at least once that I remember.
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Oct 26, 2020 17:33
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WeedlordGoku69 posted:ZZT or one of its descendants, maybe? Holy poo poo. I think this might actually be the game! Maelstache posted:Ha, yeah, no argument there. The early seasons had some hilariously cruel Sierra puzzle bullshit where teams would frequently fail because they picked up the wrong item five rooms back. Although the team in the clip hosed up because it's pretty much a given that weapons were always useless. I think they had to tone down the cruelty down later on as it got to a point where a whole season went by with no winners. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtQJm92vIu0
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Oct 26, 2020 20:39
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ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:Holy poo poo. I think this might actually be the game! ZZT was huge back in the day; it had a really sophisticated development system and basically half a generation learned to program by modding poo poo into ZZT or making their own from-scratch scenarios.
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Oct 26, 2020 21:28
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ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:Some weird thing on DOS that I can't remember anything useful/helpful about, not even the name, had me utterly confused for the 10 minutes I tried playing it back in the early 90's at about 5.y.o., in no small part thanks to the presentation (the graphics were entirely ASCII but with text panels all over the place too). At some point there was a maze or some poo poo and making the wrong move resulted in a deafening descendng tone blaring from the PC speaker followed by the word -SPLAT!- at the bottom of the screen. That sounds like the bottomless pit from the Kroz games.
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Oct 27, 2020 08:08
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Ages approximately eight years old, the first computer I ever owned was a hand-me-down Acorn Electron. Most of the games I were pretty basic and easy to understand, usually knock-offs of arcade titles like Pac-Man, Popeye, Galaxians, etc. There was just one game though I could never fathom, which was obtuse to the point of ridiculousness. It was called Spycat In this game you were for some reason a cat that is also a spy (the in-game sprite made the character more like some kind of rodent) and the game is an arcade adventure where you have to run around collecting items in order to do...something. Problem is, the instructions given are drat near useless. It just gives you a list of goals that are so opaque and vague that no-one, least of all an eight year old kid, is gonna be able to figure out what to do. There are no clues on screen to tell you where to go or how to do anything, so every time I would boot up this game and just wander from screen to screen until I died from running into a thing that looked like a pair of underpants going up and down a pipe, or another thing that could be some kind of...mobile chainsaw? It also has this maddeningly annoying beating heart sound effect which gets more rapid and irritating the more damage you take. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVz7D3uQxZo Years later I finally found a walkthrough, and from that was able to discover you had to stand on certain specific floor tiles in order to be able to "use" objects you were carrying. But without this one vital bit of information, you had no chance of getting anywhere in the game. Something else I just figured out is the title is a play on Spycatcher, which was a pretty notorious autobiography of an ex-MI5 intelligence officer that came out the year before the game. What kid would ever have picked up on that reference?
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Oct 28, 2020 14:26
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXdfsFYX-XU F-29 Retaliator! best intro music I've ever heard. I never could figure out how to land though 
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Oct 29, 2020 19:11
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Pattonesque posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXdfsFYX-XU I played a bunch of fighter jet games as a kid and I could usually figure out how to take off and fire my missiles at stuff, but landing was never a necessity to figure out.
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Oct 30, 2020 13:59
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wrong thread
Shibawanko fucked around with this message at 14:15 on Oct 30, 2020 |
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Oct 30, 2020 14:06
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Komojo posted:That sounds like the bottomless pit from the Kroz games. On checking, it was definitely "Lost Adventures of Kroz"; this room was what I recognised:  For anyone curious (and/or for those who hate having functional hearing), this is the ear-splitting sound in action. Thanks all, you've solved a videogame mystery that was plaguing me for almost thirty loving years!
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Oct 30, 2020 14:56
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pH1nPRtjykI Every fuckin time this kills me  Also to be on topic weird Dreams on Amiga, had no clue wtf and still don't now really Here it is being played by someone who does know wtf, at least at first https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNjmIxkh1gA&t=47s peter gabriel fucked around with this message at 03:53 on Oct 31, 2020 |
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Oct 31, 2020 03:50
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peter gabriel posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pH1nPRtjykI loving beautiful! I remember seeing that as a kid and it's always stuck with me!
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Oct 31, 2020 04:41
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peter gabriel posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pH1nPRtjykI Man I haven't thought of Weird Dreams in like 30 goddamn years, we had that and I also had no idea wtf
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Oct 31, 2020 18:12
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peter gabriel posted:Also to be on topic weird Dreams on Amiga, had no clue wtf and still don't now really  WTFThe game that dares to ask "can you not die during surgery?" Right, use the hungry soccer ball to eat the knife-wielding little girl e2: "how many times should the player have to hit the bee?" "How about 30 times?" Also, and I rarely ask this, should I be impressed by the dick monsters Nebakenezzer fucked around with this message at 22:00 on Oct 31, 2020 |
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Oct 31, 2020 21:48
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We never got past the wasp, we only got out of the candy floss machine by pure chance, we had no idea you had to jump and grab hold of the stick, no one did!
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Oct 31, 2020 23:00
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peter gabriel posted:We never got past the wasp, we only got out of the candy floss machine by pure chance, we had no idea you had to jump and grab hold of the stick, no one did! yeah same here, our entire family tried for years and never got past the wasp. I think my brother eventually figured out you had to jump and grab the stick but that was as far as anyone got
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Nov 1, 2020 01:05
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I want a game mashing together bad dreams and dragon's lair: just problem solving via endless death and rote memorization as the game mechanics And I know bad dreams is already random, can we make it more nonsensical? Like can we make an essential part of the game knowledge of decay chains in nuclear chemistry for all inventory items?
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Nov 1, 2020 19:11
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Nebakenezzer posted:I want a game mashing together bad dreams and dragon's lair: just problem solving via endless death and rote memorization as the game mechanics One of the UK Saturday morning 90's TV shows let kids play Weird Dreams over the telephone, shouting directions. It never lasted more than 30 seconds. It might have been Get Fresh or Motormouth.
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Nov 4, 2020 23:26
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Boody posted:One of the UK Saturday morning 90's TV shows let kids play Weird Dreams over the telephone, shouting directions. It never lasted more than 30 seconds. It might have been Get Fresh or Motormouth. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP6fJEMGrGw https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TV_Powww
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Nov 4, 2020 23:40
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I hope I'm not the only one who spent a few agonizing hours trying to figure out how to leave the players house in pokemon blue
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Nov 5, 2020 04:13
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Boody posted:UK Saturday morning 90's TV shows let kids play ... over the telephone.
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Nov 5, 2020 14:55
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When we first got our Genesis in the early 90s, one of the games we had was the M1 Abrams Tank simulator. I never had any loving clue what was going on but my dad who is a former marine could own that game straight out of the box and knew what all of the HUD information was telling him. It was the most bizarre thing that ever happened because he never played games at all with us but that was his drat title.
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Nov 14, 2020 06:29
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Culdecept Saga was like, conceptually simple, but it turned into madness really fast and the whole game often feeling like a 45-1 hour match hinged on the last few dice rolls so nothing else mattered at all did nothing to increase my feeling of control. Im pretty sure my friend lost in the tutorial when he tried playing it.
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Nov 15, 2020 00:35
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Pattonesque posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXdfsFYX-XU You've just made me remember F(something): Interceptor on the Amstrad, all green on black and inscrutable. That GUI is so similar, except more than one colour. I think after waiting the 10 mins or however long for the tape to load I managed to take off maybe twice. Then crash. On the other hand, that's then just made me remember Silkworm, also Amstrad, which was a  sidescroller where you'd swap between a heli and a tank and was pure chaos.
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Nov 25, 2020 22:59
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I don't get it. Silkworm is a pretty good side scrolling shooter in which you either play in a heli or a jeep. You shoot stuff to oblivion and meet a sort of boss at the end of a stage. What was so confusing about it? Or did they completely mess up the Amstrad conversion, the Amiga one is really excellent!
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Nov 30, 2020 11:36
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It was the fighter plane game I didn't get; I just had a pleasant memory of silkworm I thought I'd share as I'd completely forgotten about the Amstrad til that point
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Dec 1, 2020 09:09
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ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:This has reminded me of the various games these shows would have where some poor bastard had to shout and/or use the number pad on the phone (good luck if you were lumbered with rotary dial!), usually consisting of three stages. The only one I really remember was about this guy stuck in dinosaur land or some poo poo, and the third stage involved running away from -- what else -- a Tyrannosaurus. Nobody ever loving finished it! The Joe Razz / Hugo Apreciaton Station ITT, 
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Dec 15, 2020 12:05
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ConanThe3rd posted:Hugo Apreciaton Station ITT, Holy poo poo, I completely forget about the Hugo Show! Around the same time there was a game show on Swiss TV, where players had to use the phone numpad to control a ladybug on a simple grid, trying to avoid enemies. It looked simple enough, but I never saw anybody survive longer than a couple of seconds. The input lag on such a setup must be horrendous.
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Dec 15, 2020 15:04
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ConanThe3rd posted:The Joe Razz / Hugo Apreciaton Station ITT, Jesus fuckin' Christ, so that was the name of it! Well I gotta say that (unsurprisingly) the Joe Razz game looks infinitely worse to """play""" than I remembered. The delay must have been absolutely horrendous. I completely forgot about the Hugo phone-in game (though I certainly remembered the character and that utterly poo poo excuse for a PlayStation game), but now that I've been reminded I can safely say it also was a bastard to watch as contestants failed endlessly!
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Dec 16, 2020 03:40
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Milon's Secret Castle. I think I made it to the second level of the castle once? And for the years, I thought it was "Milo's Secret Castle" because my brain apparently decided to blind me to the 'n' in the his name.
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Dec 26, 2020 12:30
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That’s okay, my brain insists it’s Milton’s secret castle. Because who names their kid Milon?
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Dec 27, 2020 05:47
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I'm interested in replaying Sierra games. Dos or Amiga, which would be the better version of the classic point n click death simulators?
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Jan 4, 2021 22:35
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This is less 'a game' and more 'an ending' I stumbled over. So Japan made a shooter game, Gynoug. It got ported to the West on the Genesis as Wings of Wor. Here are the various text endings of Wor, based on the difficulty level and whether you're playing the first and second loop. http://www.vgmuseum.com/end/genesis/b/wwor.htm In the day, that would be that, but nowadays getting Japanese versions of games is just a matter of some knowledge and some clicks. So here's the endings of Gynoug, which are also inexplicably in English. http://www.vgmuseum.com/end/genesis/a/gynoug.htm Perhaps you can see why I double taked. Also, what the hell is a "dekasita"? --- Actual games where I couldn't even make sense of playing it: Impossible Mission 2 and X-Men for the NES. ESPECIALLY X-Men, which was completely unplayable to me entirely. Cornwind Evil fucked around with this message at 20:06 on Jan 6, 2021 |
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Jan 5, 2021 05:35
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Dekashita (which would be dekasita under the Nihon-shiki and Kunrei-shiki romanization systems) is something like "Well done!" (like a job well done, not a steak).That's all I can really think of. Omigoto is roughly the same meaning.
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Jan 5, 2021 06:06
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Cornwind Evil posted:This is less 'a game' and more 'an ending' I stumbled over. That was a great game, known as Gynoug in the UK. Beautiful artwork and atmosphere
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Jan 5, 2021 14:16
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I guess 13 years is retro enough: I really liked the premise of Holy Invasion of Privacy, Badman! What Did I Do To Deserve This? but I will be god damned if I could figure out how to actually play it.
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Jan 12, 2021 01:26
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I have no idea how you revive knocked out characters in Rhapsody a Musical Adventure so if one gets knocked out I just reset the game. I also can't figure out for the life of me what ascending your puppets souls out of samsara does other than play a short cutscene
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Jan 12, 2021 01:29
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