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One that's always stuck out for me was A Boy and his Blob. My dad rented it for a week along with a NES because I didn't own a game machine and they were leaving me latchkey during the days in the summer while they worked. Boy and his Blob was the only game I had and try as I might I never got out of the sewers. I managed to figure out what the jellybeans did but never made it far at all. The music still bothers me to this day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyjEVKwOn7g
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Jan 19, 2020 04:01
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Ah, A Boy and His Blob... the first game that forced me to call the Nintendo Game Counselors so they could explain it to me. I know exactly where you're coming from. I keep meaning to get around to playing the modern version (I can't remember if it's PS3 or PS4). I wonder if it's any good.
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Jan 19, 2020 04:47
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...! posted:I keep meaning to get around to playing the modern version (I can't remember if it's PS3 or PS4). I wonder if it's any good. The Wii version, which I assume is what you mean, was ported to both PS3 and PS4 (and also Xbox One, Vita, mobile, and PC).
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Jan 19, 2020 04:51
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All mine were on NES: I'm pretty sure I rented Faxanadu a few times and never managed to leave the starting screen, like I couldn't figure out how to go through a door? I think that was Faxanadu Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom baffled me but I kept trying anyway, with no idea what I was doing, only figuring puzzles out by accident or brute force. I was really young and didn't entirely understand the whole... style? I understood games like Super Mario and Dragon Warrior where you go around and kill things and go further and kill things, but RPG puzzle stuff was an entirely foreign concept to my little brain and I couldn't comprehend the point of anything I was doing at first Bard's Tale I played after knowing what RPGs were but I still never figured out how to get anywhere in that, just wandered the town in circles until a wandering mob killed me in one hit also I rented Ouija once, thinking it was a game, and continued to think it was a game I just couldn't figure out how to play, like Faxanadu....
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Jan 21, 2020 01:53
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InediblePenguin posted:All mine were on NES: Bard's Tale's main city is about 99% streets lined with empty houses, gates blocking off the major dungeons of the game, and a couple useful buildings like the review board, where you have to go to level up, and temples, where you get fixed when your poo poo is broke. If memory serves, at some point somewhere in the process of the early game, you get advised to ask about the wine at the nearby tavern. I don't at all remember how you're given this information, whether it's in the manual or in some npc dialogue or what. What I do know is that when you ask for wine at the only tavern where you can order it, you're directed to the wine cellar, which is the start of the first dungeon in the game, as you descend from there into the sewers. That game is seriously from the hardcore era.
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Jan 21, 2020 03:58
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InediblePenguin posted:also I rented Ouija once, thinking it was a game, and continued to think it was a game I just couldn't figure out how to play, like Faxanadu.... I’m guessing you meant Taboo: The Sixth Sense?
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Jan 21, 2020 04:45
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Wise Fwom Yo Gwave posted:I’m guessing you meant Taboo: The Sixth Sense? yup my bad also wow that definitely explains why i never got anywhere in the Bard's Tale
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Jan 21, 2020 11:12
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Fargin Icehole posted:Back to the Future 2&3 on NES. Bought Oh man Mission Impossible was a bad one. There’s an awful mission on the roof of the CIA where you can’t use real guns that was a slog, and the controls were terrible.
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Jan 23, 2020 05:07
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As a kid I would drive around the city in Police Quest. At first I'd have to ask my dad to get through the beginning for me, but eventually I could do the first part by heart just to get to the car driving (What's a savegame, precious?). Much later I decided to try to play the game for real, I could get to some crash scene where you had to do some stuff but I could never figure out what. English not being my first language probably didn't help. Actually, the same goes for Leisure Suit Larry, Space Quest, King's Quest. But at that point I had learned to load savegames and I'd load my dad's savegames to dick around in all the areas of the game without making much progress. Only in the era of LucasArts and their SCUMM engine did I start to actually play adventure games with any kind of success myself. By the time Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis came around the tables had turned and my dad would ask me for help. Not on the puzzle solving, but on the nazi punching sections; he enjoyed adventure games but not the action style minigames inside them.
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Jan 28, 2020 17:02
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Golden Axe Warrior. I still have no idea. I started this up last night for a bit and did nothing but loving die constantly.
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Jan 28, 2020 17:10
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I still have very little idea of what's going on in Romancing SaGa: Minstrel Song.
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Jan 28, 2020 17:19
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ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:Golden Axe Warrior. I still have no idea. isn't that the terrible zelda clone
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Jan 28, 2020 17:20
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Randaconda posted:isn't that the terrible zelda clone That's what I'd describe it as too but apparently it was a well-received title (for some mysterious reason).
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Jan 28, 2020 17:22
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Golden Axe Warrior isn't terrible once you get going, but it's a little rough starting off. The sword has a really small hitbox. Once you get the axe (bigger hitbox) and more than three hearts, it's a little easier to breathe. It's not as good as an actual Zelda game, but it's as close as you were going to get on the Master System.
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Jan 28, 2020 18:32
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I used to play Ancient Art of War as a little kid, had no idea what I was doing and barely could read English but I stayed on it for months until I understood every aspect of it. I actually miss that commitment I used to have to figure out games. Nowadays it's so exhausting to learn new relatively complex strategy games.
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Jan 29, 2020 14:47
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This isn't so much a case of having no idea what was going on, but as a kid playing Dick Tracy on the Genesis (a good game, I think) I remember trying to earn that end-of-round "No Break" bonus and it only occurred to me as an adult that there's no way that wasn't a troll from the game developers.
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Jan 29, 2020 14:48
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...! posted:Ah, A Boy and His Blob... the first game that forced me to call the Nintendo Game Counselors so they could explain it to me. I know exactly where you're coming from. The WayForward remake was a fun puzzle game, not too difficult, but extremely charming. I mean it has a dedicated "hug blob" button. That has to count for something.
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Jun 1, 2020 02:30
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Grimthwacker posted:The WayForward remake was a fun puzzle game, not too difficult, but extremely charming. I mean it has a dedicated "hug blob" button. That has to count for something. It was really good.
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Jun 1, 2020 02:51
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I have a generally bad experience with WayForward games, where I'm happy playing them for about half an hour and then get gradually more and more annoyed at them as the game progresses. A Boy and his Blob I loved all the way through.
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Jun 1, 2020 05:21
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I was the kid that would obsessively read the game manual before playing the game, or even if I had no intention of playing the game and I just wanted something to read. (I would also read all my brother's pen-and-paper RPG books despite having absolutely no one around to play with, and not really understanding the concept of a pen-and-paper RPG in the first place) So I definitely read the manual before playing Jaguar mech game Iron Soldier. Unfortunately, a complex, janky, abstract robot game is not the best match for an eight-year-old, no matter how much they read beforehand. It's the kind of game where you have to pick which weapons you want for your robot and then pick a place to mount them, and every one of the nine buttons on the numpad controls a different aspect of your mech. Most Jag games realised that no one really wanted to play while constantly glancing down at a tiny little plastic overlay, but Iron Soldier considered it an advantage. I have a very vivid memory of completely failing at playing it in every way and just being completely miserable but refusing to give up because my brother liked it so clearly it had to be a good game. Maybe I'd do better at it now I'm an adult, but uh... https://youtu.be/vgn-wairgBQ?t=188 ...maybe not.
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Jun 3, 2020 07:23
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Klaaz posted:I used to play Ancient Art of War as a little kid, had no idea what I was doing and barely could read English but I stayed on it for months until I understood every aspect of it. I actually miss that commitment I used to have to figure out games. Nowadays it's so exhausting to learn new relatively complex strategy games. That brings back memories, I loved that game. Little 6 year old me was thrilled by the concept of the campaign editor and I spent hours in it, convinced I was “making my own games” as I drew maps and made up elaborate fantasy stories around them. Never actually played the game properly though, I didn’t have a clue what you were really supposed to do. Around the same time, one of my mom’s colleagues gifted me a box of 5 1/4” floppies with pirated DOS games. One of those had a game on it called Flightmare, where you had to shoot bikes and trucks from a plane you controlled in 3 dimensions, in a split-screen view that showed the game world both from the top and from the side. I found it extremely hard and had no idea how to progress the game in the rare cases where I accidentally did manage to clear a stage.
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Jun 21, 2020 00:10
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I suppose I might be half-cheating here in the sense I knew what was happening (or at least recognised what was happening on screen), but I had no idea how to make it happen or change things to happen in my favour: 1) Hammerlock Wrestling (SNES) The controls are just completely beyond comprehension. I would say to look at the manual but that didn't help me one iota. Stumble around like a loving drunkard and eat the canvas. Next! 2) Guardians of the 'Hood Good LORD what is going on here. A beat-em-up where the controls are completely and utterly unintutive and feel entirely unresponsive to boot. You know how you can generally go from Streets of Rage to Final Fight and have a rough idea how to transfer certain gameplay skills across? Well gently caress all that. This handles like Pit Fighter, but (somehow) so much loving worse. Just mash buttons. Utter poo poo.
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Jun 21, 2020 02:44
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ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:2) Guardians of the 'Hood Iron Soldier reminded me of when I got the MekTek release of Mechwarrior 4 Mercs and I couldn't figure out how anything worked. Weapon grouping? What's that???
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Jun 28, 2020 14:42
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We were playing the Arcade version. I never want to touch it or any port thereof again for as long as I live. Miserably incomprehensible, and incomprehensibly miserable. Truly one of a kind for all the wrong god drat reasons. Anyway, another quick scan through my archive dredges up Shadow of the Beast on MD. What the gently caress in Christ's name was going on in this pile of poo poo?
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Jun 29, 2020 05:15
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ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:
It was a conversion of the iconic amiga game that mostly was style over substance. The style was amazing though and sold a lot of amiga units. Graphics, soundtrack and atmosphere was incredible. I never played the megadrive/genesis conversion but i can imagine this got lost in the translation more or less.
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Jun 29, 2020 07:29
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Shadow of the Beast on Genesis/MD is one that really, really depends on region. At 50fps, it's tough, but fair. At 60fps, it's bugfuck impossible. As a result of this, it's a game that PAL players tend to have a soft spot for and Americans generally hate.
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Jul 4, 2020 17:35
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Anyone who says they knew what was happening in X-Men on the NES is full of lies.
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Jul 6, 2020 15:02
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I still can't beat Ghouls n Ghosts for the NES 
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Jul 6, 2020 15:32
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Timby posted:Anyone who says they knew what was happening in X-Men on the NES is full of lies. I knew 
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Jul 6, 2020 16:39
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Timby posted:Anyone who says they knew what was happening in X-Men on the NES is full of lies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeQhz54V2Fk 
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Jul 7, 2020 02:32
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ManxomeBromide posted:Holy poo poo I had that PC game (Stained Glass), and I think I registered it because I seem to also have the source code. It's about 1,800 lines of QuickBASIC code, including the following immortal comment: I know this is from a while back but  Here’s all the variables that represent everything my game could need. Every part is free to modify every other part. Structure is for sissies. Bugs? I don’t write bugs! 
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Jul 9, 2020 22:26
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Altered Beast (arcade). gently caress me what a giant lump of poo poo. I know the MD version gets all the flak nowadays but holy hell the original version is so cheap and unfun. gently caress that.
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Jul 10, 2020 01:14
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ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:Altered Beast (arcade). I'm pretty sure this isn't the "Bad Opinions About Retro Games" thread. 
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Jul 10, 2020 04:39
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altered beast is just so grotesque and unpleasant looking
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Jul 10, 2020 07:15
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Altered Beast I had fun playing for the first time last year (the Genesis version), but mostly because a lot of things are fun in co-op and the intense cheesy energy of it and the voice clips especially.
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Jul 10, 2020 14:31
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I got a copy of Unlimited SaGa because it looked gorgeous and proceeded to get absolutely irrevocably wrecked in each story path I selected. Basic things dont work like any other RPG from using a weird room movement system to roulette wheels for everything from opening chests to shopping, and you combine that with SaGa weirdness like random chance to learn moves under arcane conditions and multiple health pools to track. After much frustration and feeling dead man walking in every one of my game saves I went on gamefaqs and iirc the guide explaining just how the games mechanics actually work is like 180 pages long.
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Jul 12, 2020 02:34
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Barudak posted:I got a copy of Unlimited SaGa because it looked gorgeous and proceeded to get absolutely irrevocably wrecked in each story path I selected. Basic things dont work like any other RPG from using a weird room movement system to roulette wheels for everything from opening chests to shopping, and you combine that with SaGa weirdness like random chance to learn moves under arcane conditions and multiple health pools to track. After much frustration and feeling dead man walking in every one of my game saves I went on gamefaqs and iirc the guide explaining just how the games mechanics actually work is like 180 pages long. I gave this game multiple chances because starting from the game's very packaging it can't be overstated how gorgeous it is and I was convinced there had to be a wortwhile game underneath all that. So I actually read through that guide a couple of times, went to give it one last solid honest try on stream, and after 30 minutes of killing bandits in a circular area in a quest that could only end when all the bandits were dead, I found out that I had managed to move in exactly such a way that the bandits would keep spawning forever, making progress impossible. This was just a thing that was tacked on without warning at the end of an already lengthy and challenging map and I just could not bear to go on. 
Tonfa fucked around with this message at 07:21 on Jul 12, 2020 |
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Jul 12, 2020 07:17
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ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:Golden Axe Warrior. I still have no idea.
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Jul 12, 2020 12:39
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Barudak posted:I got a copy of Unlimited SaGa because it looked gorgeous and proceeded to get absolutely irrevocably wrecked in each story path I selected. Basic things dont work like any other RPG from using a weird room movement system to roulette wheels for everything from opening chests to shopping, and you combine that with SaGa weirdness like random chance to learn moves under arcane conditions and multiple health pools to track. After much frustration and feeling dead man walking in every one of my game saves I went on gamefaqs and iirc the guide explaining just how the games mechanics actually work is like 180 pages long. https://thumbs.gfycat.com/WildSparklingBluejay-mobile.mp4 Sure why not
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Jul 13, 2020 09:30
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I don't think I'll ever actually enjoy a Saga game but I respect Kawazu immensely for making a whole series of games that actively fights you trying to play it at every turn EDIT: And some of the games have absolutely gorgeous graphics and music. Saga Frontier 2 is one of the best looking games on the PSX
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Jul 13, 2020 19:36
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