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Back in the mid-1990s they introduced a recurring character to Saturday Night Live called Mary Katherine Gallagher. She was a Catholic schoolgirl who was a spaz and that's basically the whole joke. Typical SNL writing where they just make someone as obnoxious as possible and expect you to laugh. The thing was, all of her habits were sexy as gently caress. One thing she would do was spontaneously show off her underwear like she's doing here.  I guess they thought it would be funny instead of arousing because she's making a silly face and the underwear is big. But it's still material that's been directly touching her pussy, and she's giving you a naughty peek.  Not to mention Molly Shannon has a nice rear end and you can clearly see the outlines of the cheeks.  On top of that, when she was nervous she would stick her hands into her armpits and then smell them.  I always imagined what that rich feminine scent was like. I wanted to be the one to smell them. In fact I wanted to suck each finger right after she did it. Not to mention the whole Catholic schoolgirl thing. You could just tell how horny all the repression made her. She was also so insecure and desperate that she would do anything. She would have been such an eager little slut for my cock.  So goons, what was the first thing you ever jacked off to?
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Oct 25, 2019 07:25
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That's real sad, OP.
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Oct 25, 2019 07:27
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The OP, OP nah im gay lol
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Oct 25, 2019 07:31
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Private Cumshoe posted:The OP, OP Yes thank you for this OP you loving monster
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Oct 25, 2019 07:36
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Oct 25, 2019 07:36
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Imagine if Pat said they wanted you to put it in their rear end, and they only pulled their pants down enough to show you their rear end crack and little puckering hole, and you had sex with them and still never found out their gender.
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Oct 25, 2019 07:39
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lol
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Oct 25, 2019 07:39
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Oct 25, 2019 07:41
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When I show Pat my dick I try asking whether it's bigger than theirs to suss out their gender, but they just roll their eyes and say "good one."
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Oct 25, 2019 07:44
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I clicked expecting goatse and somehow the truth was worse. Mazel tov.
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Oct 25, 2019 07:47
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A Real Fucker posted:Imagine if Pat said they wanted you to put it in their rear end, and they only pulled their pants down enough to show you their rear end crack and little puckering hole, and you had sex with them and still never found out their gender. What if they had a dick and you still weren't sure of their gender because it's 2019?
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Oct 25, 2019 07:47
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No one asked, OP
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Oct 25, 2019 07:50
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A Real Fucker posted:Back in the mid-1990s they introduced a recurring character to Saturday Night Live called Mary Katherine Gallagher. She was a Catholic schoolgirl who was a spaz and that's basically the whole joke. Typical SNL writing where they just make someone as obnoxious as possible and expect you to laugh. The thing was, all of her habits were sexy as gently caress.  
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Oct 25, 2019 07:50
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When my Hermit crab molted.
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Oct 25, 2019 07:55
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I have never jacked off in my life! but im considering it. if anyone has a good suggestion id appreciate it. tia, but again, im only considering it
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Oct 25, 2019 08:02
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Vim Fuego posted:I have never jacked off in my life! but im considering it. if anyone has a good suggestion id appreciate it. tia, but again, im only considering it Don't even start, it makes dinner parties really awkward.
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Oct 25, 2019 08:05
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Alyssa Milano on The Outer Limits
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Oct 25, 2019 08:08
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Probably porn adware popups
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Oct 25, 2019 08:14
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A toy Hess truck. I wasn't entirely clear on the whole concept at the time. You think this is a joke, but it's not. I don't make jokes.
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Oct 25, 2019 08:27
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Private Cumshoe posted:The OP, OP OP's mom
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Oct 25, 2019 08:57
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hell yea lets get molly shannon in here and goonkake her rear end.
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Oct 25, 2019 10:42
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we had a similar character turning our cranks in the UK op
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Oct 25, 2019 10:59
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Saint Drogo posted:we had a similar character turning our cranks in the UK op You cant fool me, that's a dude
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Oct 25, 2019 11:05
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My first was in the shower with a soapy washcloth in hand, thinking about the super easy girl at church who prior touched my stiff dick through my jeans in the van during a youth group mission trip What's her name? Chasity
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Oct 25, 2019 11:23
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A Real Fucker posted:Imagine if Pat said they wanted you to put it in their rear end, and they only pulled their pants down enough to show you their rear end crack and little puckering hole, and you had sex with them and still never found out their gender. oh, i think i would know
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Oct 25, 2019 11:26
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Traxis posted:Alyssa Milano on The Outer Limits Probably  but on Charmed.Also, god drat, that OP sure was something.
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Oct 25, 2019 11:37
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"porn-as-comedy" is strange when growing up. When I was a kid I watched "Married With Children" and for a long time I thought sex was a punchline
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Oct 25, 2019 11:45
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I have a friend who is a girl, and she says "Jill off" instead of Jack off.
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Oct 25, 2019 11:50
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I was brought up in a pretty strict religious household and truth be told, I was pretty ignorant. I wasn't really "in" with the cooler kids, obviously, but I did hear them talk about the Eaton's catalogue when I eavesdropped on the school bus. I never really understood it until I got a little older. I managed to snag a catalogue from the neighbor's porch and I still remember to this day flipping through it and finding the picture that did it for me. 
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Oct 25, 2019 12:26
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I can tell you that the most recent thing I've jacked off to is this thread op.
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Oct 25, 2019 12:28
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Seems like a lot of words to say you jacked off op
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Oct 25, 2019 12:33
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I think I was like 12 or 13. Someone sprayed a .gif of a girl bouncing her double-Ds in a tf2 server. i was overcum with primal desire and i just about put rug burn on the lil sucker. i had butterflies in my stomach all afternoon so i tried to nap it off, but i woke up around 11:00 PM and hit up the same server for round 2. the spray was gone, so i played runescape for like 7 hrs straight then got in bed before my parents got up. in retrospect the funniest part was that people saw my decked out scout staring at a 240x240 gif for like a solid 3 minutes, and definitely knowing what was going on behind the monitor
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Oct 25, 2019 12:42
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Good honeypot thread imo. Buncha people going to start talking about girls they sat next to in grade school, then the cat will be out of the bag.
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Oct 25, 2019 12:43
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Saint Drogo posted:we had a similar character turning our cranks in the UK op Is this that hairless guy who tried to pull that Pompidou bullshit? I'd look it up but will just end up ruining my day before it even starts
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Oct 25, 2019 12:46
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Traxis posted:Alyssa Milano on The Outer Limits Enhance. 
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Oct 25, 2019 12:56
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I just yanked it to some porn, myself
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Oct 25, 2019 13:18
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Traxis posted:Alyssa Milano on The Outer Limits See also: Every episode of (the original) Charmed
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Oct 25, 2019 13:20
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autism ZX spectrum posted:I was brought up in a pretty strict religious household and truth be told, I was pretty ignorant. I wasn't really "in" with the cooler kids, obviously, but I did hear them talk about the Eaton's catalogue when I eavesdropped on the school bus. I never really understood it until I got a little older. I managed to snag a catalogue from the neighbor's porch and I still remember to this day flipping through it and finding the picture that did it for me.  this poo poo!!
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Oct 25, 2019 13:27
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Of course its not work safe it's a household appliance
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Oct 25, 2019 13:36
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What if you work from home?
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Oct 25, 2019 13:37
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