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My brother has spent the last 20 years in the US prison system. Today is the day, after many long years, they he is finally out on good behavior. My mother picked him up at 7:30 AM across the state border and is driving him to his probation office then coming home. My little brother and his wife, and myself all took half days at work and in few hours we’ll all be sitting down together for lunch for the first time since we were little kids. So GBS: how do I catch my brother up to speed? He’s been in jail since before cell phones and email were things everyone had. He’s never seen an electric car, never seen a non-Tobey Macguire Spider-Man movie, basically the entire planet has radically changed in the last 20 years and we basically have no idea what to do. So the next few days are gonna be wild, and emotional, but mostly lots of love and happiness now that my mom finally has her last big ‘ol baby back. My brother has expressed interest in starting a podcast about reintegrating into society and getting caught up on things, and so we’re gonna start working on a script for that this weekend, but mostly it’s gonna be a lot of eating and hanging out on the beach. GBS: what important updates to Earth and society would you like me to teach my brother about? He’s a 43 year old man whose missed the last 20 years of his life. If you were in my position what would you consider “must-have” information? Any pinnacle movies/TV/music/books you think he should absorb? Please let this thread be a place to discuss any related topics, such as your own prison stories, things you’d like me to ask him, suggestions for things we should catch him up on, whatever. Finally if anyone has interest in the potential podcast, please let me know here or in PMs. My brother hasn’t really been doing a lot for 20 years besides reading and lifting weights and studying to be a Meineke technician and a welder, so he has a very unique insight into lots of things, and I’m excited to explore the lens of 2019 and beyond through the eyes of someone whose view of the world was frozen in 1999. (To head off a potential derail, he was in prison for a murder that he did commit and was convicted for, but it was self-defense and gang-related. He isn’t that kind of person anymore and we’re giving him a loving and safe environment without any of that negativity, and he’s absolutely stoked to come home and live a nice normal life.)
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Oct 25, 2019 14:06
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 17:05 |
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Buy him an account, it'll be just like 1999
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Oct 25, 2019 14:08
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9/11 happened and it fundamentally destroyed the brains of every American over the age of 55. The pro wrestling company WCW died. I think that's about it? Make sure he knows about airport security I guess?
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Oct 25, 2019 14:08
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School shootings were invented, also vapes. The car ( ) is on fire and there is noone at the wheel.
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Oct 25, 2019 14:11
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Lol I bet you could hit him with a legit ligma joke and he wouldn't see it coming.
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Oct 25, 2019 14:12
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Harvey Mantaco posted:Lol I bet you could hit him with a legit ligma joke and he wouldn't see it coming. Holy poo poo I’ve never considered how easy it will be to pretend I’m a total comedic genius around him! Brilliant!
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Oct 25, 2019 14:21
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Facebook Meme's being our current way to communicate politically, tell him about Yeezy's, and express that the Simpson Sisters did not take over teh world as was thought in the late 90's
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Oct 25, 2019 14:22
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get him a myspace, OP
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Oct 25, 2019 14:24
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Im thinking he might want to go back.
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Oct 25, 2019 14:28
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Congrats on your brother getting out, for the podcast (or if he wants to answer these questions):
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Oct 25, 2019 14:28
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assure him that yes, The Simpsons is still on the air
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Oct 25, 2019 14:31
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I am Communist posted:Congrats on your brother getting out, for the podcast (or if he wants to answer these questions): Absolutely awesome list I will be sure to go over this with him once we’re all settled!
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Oct 25, 2019 14:32
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1. Everyone has little pocket computers that have cameras. Sometimes, you can use them to make phone calls. 2. There's this online service called Twitter, where racist celebrities can commit career sepukku with a minimum of effort. You can also do this from your pocket computer. 3. Don't make phone calls with your pocket computer unless totally necessary. Most people use the integrated telegraph function on their pocket computers to talk to each other. You can also send pictures of your dick and or vagina to other pocket counter users. This will likely result in you sending said pic to a random family member. 4. That Trump guy from Home Alone 2 runs the country now. We're still all laugh/crying about it. 5. We sort of have self driving cars, but they're better known for catching fire and falling apart in hillarious ways. Also the same guy who is responsible for them is making space rockets. 6. People take way too many pictures of themselves with their pocket computers. Sometimes you can make money as an "influencer" with you pocket computer. 7. We still don't have flying cars. We did get a hoverboard, but it's just a stupid motorized set of wheels that are mainly used to injure friends and family. They also are known to randomly catch fire. This makes for funny videos that are recorded via pocket computer. 8. You can play video games with anyone in the world, as long as they aren't in the same room as you. 9. The internet is basically a public utility, but it's usually delivered by the same lovely infrastructure that existed before world war 2. You'll probably have the same bandwidth that you did back in the late 90's if you don't live in LA or NY. 10. The government is probably tracking your every move. Not because you're an ex con, they just track all of us. For our safety, you see. 11. Private companies also track what we do with our pocket computers. This information is then used to sell us other pocket computers and pocket computer-related goods and services.
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Oct 25, 2019 14:44
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the pocket computers are called Pokécom
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Oct 25, 2019 14:53
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ask him how hard he is, what's the hardest he ever was in prison, how do you get really hard in prison, was everyone else as hard as he was, and did everyone talk about how hard they were all the time?
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Oct 25, 2019 14:54
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The safest pocket computers available on the market are made by a little company called Huawei
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Oct 25, 2019 14:59
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Have him watch Interstellar on a big TV with a nice surround sound system.
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Oct 25, 2019 15:01
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Lol you’re brother didn’t miss poo poo actually. Fuckin prison planet shame parade for most of that time in America at least. 
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Oct 25, 2019 15:04
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How realistic is the game "Hard Time"?
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Oct 25, 2019 15:14
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drat your bro killed someone Tell him to blame it on video games and start raking in that insane alt right money
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Oct 25, 2019 15:15
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He's lucky to have you  The biggest shock, and ongoing, is bound to be tech. The world DID fundamentally change in last 20 years. Knowing how to use computers and smartphones and apps is essential and thank god he has you. Do NOT discount the profound frustration this will cause him though. I struggle with it most days still. It used to be that brains, knowledge, or experience mattered-now that all has to be channeled through technology in some way to be of any real value. It's an enormous change.
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Oct 25, 2019 15:15
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I hope your brother gets his stuff together and is able to enjoy life. Also, not being able to re-integrate in this diseased hell-circus we call normal society is also fine.
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Oct 25, 2019 15:18
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can you even imagine going from pornography as it was in 1999, having no access to pornography for 20 years, and popping out to the world of porn in 2019?
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Oct 25, 2019 15:18
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bewbies posted:can you even imagine going from pornography as it was in 1999, having no access to pornography for 20 years, and popping out to the world of porn in 2019?  my god... it's full of incest
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Oct 25, 2019 15:19
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Ask him why he's so interested in muscling in on Big Herc's hustle via podcasting prison life. I mean I'd listen the gently caress out of it, but man if that's not a crowded market. Maybe he could start as a guest?
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Oct 25, 2019 15:32
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Show him how good the graphics have gotten
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Oct 25, 2019 15:39
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Harvey Mantaco posted:Im thinking he might want to go back. Yeah, make sure you keep him away from Youtube comments and Twitter, else he'll want to go back inside where there are fewer Nazis.
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Oct 25, 2019 15:45
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Planking, op. Plank the night away
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Oct 25, 2019 16:07
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I think you should create a sham news broadcast and make sure your brother only watches that, so that he will believe that absolutely nothing bad has happened since 1999, the 90s are still going, Al Gore won the election and fixed global warming, and 9/11 was prevented by not ignoring the CIA warnings. Has he not suffered enough? But perhaps he was the lucky one.
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Oct 25, 2019 16:08
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Bonaventure posted:assure him that yes, The Simpsons is still on the air And it's better than ever!
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Oct 25, 2019 16:09
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Just a heads up bro: when you get a blowjob a finger goes up the butt every time now
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Oct 25, 2019 16:11
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Turn him on to Cum Town, OP.
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Oct 25, 2019 16:13
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Mordja posted:Turn him on to Cum Town, OP. but he just left
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Oct 25, 2019 16:16
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A Fancy Hat posted:9/11 happened and it fundamentally destroyed the brains of every American over the age of 55. yeah i'd start with this
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Oct 25, 2019 16:17
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Must Have TV - The entire series of Relic Hunter (started airing in 1999) - The entire series of Beastmaster (started airing in 1999) Misc. - Tell him they changed the green Skittle from Lime to Sour Apple
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Oct 25, 2019 16:19
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Cat Army
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Tell him about how stebe jorbs tried to cure his cancer with fruit juice and died, lmao
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Oct 25, 2019 16:22
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Which prison gang did he join?
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Oct 25, 2019 16:23
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Tell him Buffy the Vampire Slayer died, but it's okay because they resurrected her in the next episode, which caused a lot of problems for the writers because after that every time someone died they had to give increasingly convoluted explanations for why they couldn't just resurrect them too.
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Oct 25, 2019 16:26
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I'd love to know what exactly he plans to do with himself having a murder conviction on his record and basically zero skills necessary for the modern world. Like who employs people like that? Goodwill?
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Oct 25, 2019 16:29
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to give you this shitty icon and give Lowtax his cyborg spine parts
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Smackdillion posted:I'd love to know what exactly he plans to do with himself having a murder conviction on his record and basically zero skills necessary for the modern world. roofers, tree trimmers and landscapers. hope hes got some decent strength and work ethic. poo poo he could make better money than certain college grads in a couple years
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Oct 25, 2019 16:35
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