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I ask the waiter for extra lemon slices and make lemonade in my water glass. My “Tupperware” all came from a Chinese restaurant down the block. My kitchen drawers are filled with theirs and other takeout condiments and cutlery. I “rent” clothes from online stores by taking advantage of liberal return policies. I make more money than I probably should given my actual abilities, but loudly complain about the price of everything to anyone near me. Not only do I bring my own candy to the movies, I bring my own meals to bars. A flask, too. “Another tonic water, please.” I reuse my tea bags. My home looks like an advertisement for CostCo. I haven’t been to a doctor in years and am seriously considering forgoing health insurance next year to cut costs. I work out at home and cook for myself almost every night though, so I should be fine. My political identity is “no taxes.” My tipping standards: Literally a perfect meal - 20% and “outstanding” written on the bill. Almost anything else - 5-10% depending on how it rounds out. If there is no chance I will ever see you again (e.g. vacation, etc) - 0% and a Jesus tract. I also furiously check my credit card web portal and ping any and all charges that don’t match my own hazy recollection. “Put on another sweater if you’re that cold.” I never bring cash with me and owe a lot of people money from dinners, etc. I never bring up the money I owe people, hoping they’ll just forget about it. If they bring it up, I haggle over the debt. I fill up on supermarket samples, looping back multiple times and making contrived conversation. My shampoo, conditioner, and lotion all comes from hotels (pro tip: you can just take them off the housekeeping cart). My toilet paper and soap comes from my work bathroom. Coat check fee? I’d rather wear it. You reuse plastic sandwich bags? I reuse condoms  I never offer to drive when we carpool. If I have to drive, I ask for gas money. I bum cigarettes from people constantly. I charge people $1 if they ask to bum one from me. I bring plain steamed rice to potlucks. I take other people’s leftovers home with me. The bachelorchat threads have become a way of life to me. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Oct 27, 2019 20:15
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I’ve lived the lifestyle of a “struggling recent college grad” for several years now despite earning a not terrible middle class income- first accidentally just out of habit, then in order to save up money- and it’s worked. I don’t know how to stop now
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Oct 27, 2019 20:20
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shalom
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Oct 27, 2019 20:20
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OP if you're bumming cigs from people you should probably keep the health insurance. I'm probably the opposite of cheap. My spending habits expand to fit my income. When I'm a billionaire I'll be the guy who goes full Oprah buying Ferraris for people at random.
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Oct 27, 2019 20:27
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still tipping like a goddamn mug though.
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Oct 27, 2019 20:32
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lil' lifehack here just go through people's birdfeeders and pick out all the sunflower seeds and eat those for sustenance
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Oct 27, 2019 20:33
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Tom Gorman posted:lil' lifehack here just go through people's birdfeeders and pick out all the sunflower seeds and eat those for sustenance This guy gets it. Careful of those black boxes you find around tho; last one gave me wicked indigestion.
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Oct 27, 2019 20:38
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1redflag posted:I ask the waiter for extra lemon slices and make lemonade in my water glass. Then I became ill. DON'T GAMBLE ON YOUR HEALTH Anything else, fine, but holy poo poo nothing is worse than pain, nothing. I beseech you to reconsider not paying for even just the shittiest of health insurance. n case
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Oct 27, 2019 20:39
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If you're so cheap why even smoke
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Oct 27, 2019 20:40
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Supreme Allah posted:shalom something something username
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Oct 27, 2019 20:40
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you broke my grill posted:If you're so cheap why even smoke I also own a refrigerator
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Oct 27, 2019 20:43
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buy some stuff you joyless mooch
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Oct 27, 2019 20:48
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taxes r good hth you'd think that would click since you also pilfer basic supplies from work, that's basically your own little tax system
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Oct 27, 2019 20:48
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I'm halfway convinced that OP is my dad. My dad would go to restaurants and order hot water, then use the ketchup at the table to make "free tomato soup", even better at restaurants that have saltine packets at the table. Oftentimes when I visited him on the weekend he'd say to me and my sisters, "Ok, what do you guys wanna do this weekend? I have $10 to cover everything, food and entertainment." One day he decided that the cost of using a dryer wasn't worth it, and he started just hanging his wet clothing up in his closet to dry. He constantly smelled like mildew. My dad took me to an all day concert, but before we went he told me that we weren't going to buy any of that overpriced concert food. I had to duct tape plastic bags of fried chicken all over my legs and wear large pants.
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Oct 27, 2019 20:51
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Tip posted:I'm halfway convinced that OP is my dad. That last one is hysterical, my grandfather used to do poo poo like that
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Oct 27, 2019 21:01
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I don’t get hbo. It’s cheaper to rent movies and memorize them.
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Oct 27, 2019 21:06
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you can watch most movies now by watching 4-minute clips on youtube and patching the whole thing together
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Oct 27, 2019 21:12
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Ya ever wash tin foil, op? My mom did. Depression era kids never lose their lessons.
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Oct 27, 2019 21:14
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Wait until I tell you about petty shoplifting, OP. You can save thousands per year by just stuffing poo poo in your pockets!
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Oct 27, 2019 21:16
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Burt Sexual posted:Ya ever wash tin foil, op? My mom did. Depression era kids never lose their lessons. My millionaire mother washes ziplock bags every day. 
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Oct 27, 2019 21:23
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1redflag posted:My tipping standards: Literally a perfect meal - 20% and “outstanding” written on the bill. Almost anything else - 5-10% depending on how it rounds out. If there is no chance I will ever see you again (e.g. vacation, etc) - 0% and a Jesus tract. I also furiously check my credit card web portal and ping any and all charges that don’t match my own hazy recollection. gently caress off
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Oct 27, 2019 21:23
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Who What Now posted:gently caress off ^^^^^^^
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Oct 27, 2019 21:24
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I agree entirely (specially about the tipping) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Oct 27, 2019 21:26
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One time I shoveled my neighbor's snowed-in driveway through about 3 inches of crusty ice and snow 8 AM on a January saturday after promising she would give me fifty dollars. The whole thing took at least an hour assuming maximum shoveling efficiency. Several hours later when she came to the driveway she demanded I shovel an extra pathway from the edge of the driveway where I already piled some of the snow for an extra ten minutes, then she gave me an envelope, thanked me for the work, then left the driveway later that day and never returned. Inside the envelope was twenty-five dollars. Not fifty as said. I do not shovel snow for her any more.
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Oct 27, 2019 21:27
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Should have shoveled $25 worth of snow back on her driveway lololol
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Oct 27, 2019 21:28
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The Real Amethyst posted:Wait until I tell you about petty shoplifting, OP. You can save thousands per year by just stuffing poo poo in your pockets! I just use self checkout and don't scan half of the stuff. I don't think I'd ever go full shoplift, but gently caress any retailers trying to save a buck by cutting workforce and making me do their jobs.
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Oct 27, 2019 21:31
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1redflag posted:I ask the waiter for extra lemon slices and make lemonade in my water glass. Looks more like 20redflags, OP
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Oct 27, 2019 21:32
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Looks more like 20redflags, OP  
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Oct 27, 2019 21:35
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Tip posted:My dad took me to an all day concert, but before we went he told me that we weren't going to buy any of that overpriced concert food. I had to duct tape plastic bags of fried chicken all over my legs and wear large pants. 
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Oct 27, 2019 21:41
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Also, lotta high falutin fat cats itt
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Oct 27, 2019 21:45
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When I was a kid, going out to eat often meant Burger King: we'd be ready for the 99-cent Whopper sales they used to have, roll on in with our little cooler of American cheese slices to put on the burgers since cheese wasn't free, and shamefully slap 'em on right there in the restaurant. Ice water to drink, of course. The weird thing is, my dad made decent money, it was just spending it on eating out that was somehow a problem. It took me a while to get over the idea that a meal costing more than a dollar was somehow "too expensive", and I still occasionally have to force myself to not cringe when I want to order something other than water to drink.
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Oct 27, 2019 21:49
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FormaldehydeSon posted:I agree entirely (specially about the tipping) Finger hovers over buttons for two posters....
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Oct 27, 2019 21:49
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Captain Hygiene posted:I cringe when I want to order something other than water to drink.
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Oct 27, 2019 21:52
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It should be legal for servers to kick anyone who tips below 15% right in the genitals.
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Oct 27, 2019 22:08
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It should be legal for anyone that wants to to kick OP in the genitals
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Oct 27, 2019 22:14
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Rad-daddio posted:I just use self checkout and don't scan half of the stuff. I'm guilty of this. You can't give someone like me the opportunity to scan steaks and salmon as onions and potatoes. It helps that 99% of the employees utterly don't care what you do on the self-check as long as they don't have to fix it. If I had money I'd pay properly but the man has kept me down and I don't have money
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Oct 27, 2019 22:31
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I'm too poor to go to restaurants. e: Actual restaurants that would expect tips. Fast food places that sell cheap garbage is within my price range.
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Oct 27, 2019 22:35
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OP, the word for what you are is "miser". You are a miser, engaging in miserly behaviour. You, to verb a noun, mise. In a couple of months, enjoy your fucken history ghosts.
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Oct 27, 2019 22:38
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this place has the right idea
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Oct 27, 2019 23:05
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I feel like that would encourage people to tip shittily just to get on the board but idk
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Oct 27, 2019 23:08
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