participation trophy husband

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canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

he is self employed in the finance industry. he makes money with these really extravagant financial instruments he says i wouldn't understand called bitcoin.

# ? Oct 28, 2019 21:59

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 03:18

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

i was worried he might be cheating on me when he was spending hours every day "going to the gym" but it turns out it was a pokemon gym.�

# ? Oct 28, 2019 21:59

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

he knows exactly what women our age need, because when i met him he had been taking care of his mother while living in the basement of her home

# ? Oct 28, 2019 22:00

Trying

he's a really sensitive lover, he always cries after

# ? Oct 28, 2019 22:02

nut

canyoneer posted:

he knows exactly what women our age need, because when i met him he had been taking care of his mother while living in the basement of her home

oh but seriously I posted:

he's a really sensitive lover, he always cries after

# ? Oct 28, 2019 23:26

nut

he said he's extremely familiar with Musk, but it turned out he meant the bodily scent

# ? Oct 28, 2019 23:35

Heather Papps: hello friend

changed a diaper,

once.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 28, 2019 23:38

google THIS

Takes you out to a nice fast casual dinner every payroll advance day.

# ? Oct 29, 2019 00:10

Mr. Dick: by Cyrano4747

*no longer loves you, but stays because he has forgotten how to operate a washing machine

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Oct 29, 2019 04:02

vanisher

google THIS posted:

Takes you out to a nice fast casual dinner every payroll advance day.

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Oct 29, 2019 04:55

vanisher

Mr. Dick posted:

*no longer loves you, but stays because he has forgotten how to operate a washing machine

no longer knows how to use a washing machine, but stays because he loves you

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Oct 29, 2019 04:56

vanisher

made burgers and fries for dinner and got every ingredient out of the freezer

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Oct 29, 2019 04:57

Escape From Noise

Really cares about the environment, so he pees into a large juice bottle which he empties once it's brimming. That way he gets rid of several whizzes with one flush!

# ? Oct 29, 2019 07:06

Spanish Manlove: HAILGAYSATAN

Everything he knows how to cook was learned from gifs on Reddit

# ? Oct 29, 2019 15:44

Escape From Noise

Spanish Manlove posted:

Everything he knows how to cook was learned from gifs on Reddit

And he knows ALL of them

# ? Oct 29, 2019 15:48

Heather Papps: hello friend

remembers your birthday MOST years

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 29, 2019 16:06

Manifisto

has a knack for remembering lyrics almost correctly coupled with a willingness to sing the almost-correct versions out loud whenever possible

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Oct 29, 2019 16:29

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

impressing your friends as a man of culture by peppering his speech with a few japanese phrases he learned from manga

# ? Oct 29, 2019 17:00

Escape From Noise

canyoneer posted:

impressing your friends as a man of culture by peppering his speech with a few japanese phrases he learned from manga

No, they're not "comics".

# ? Oct 29, 2019 17:12

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

every christmas he gives coupons as gifts, but he wraps them in a much large box to give the illusion of an actual present

# ? Oct 29, 2019 17:12

Escape From Noise

Luvcow posted:

every christmas he gives coupons as gifts, but he wraps them in a much large box to give the illusion of an actual present

"not the backrub coupon tonight, honey. Sorry. Long day at work."

# ? Oct 29, 2019 17:17

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Perfect Record for Coming Back Home After Running Out to Grab a Pack of Smokes

# ? Oct 29, 2019 17:40

Spanish Manlove: HAILGAYSATAN

canyoneer posted:

impressing your friends as a man of culture by peppering his speech with a few japanese phrases he learned from manga

No officer I'm not resisting arrest, I'm just being tsundere

# ? Oct 29, 2019 17:48

nut

wife to her friends: I guess it's pretty nice that daniel was there for me when my father died

friends of wife: awww that's so sweet to have a husband who is willing to support you emotionally in your time of need

wife: oh..no, he was just there like present

# ? Oct 29, 2019 17:51

nut

delivery room doctor: *catching ur child* he's beautiful *looks up to husband* would you like to cut the cord?

PTH: *playing candy crush on his iphone 5s* haha cool

# ? Oct 29, 2019 17:54

Heather Papps: hello friend

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

Perfect Record for Coming Back Home After Running Out to Grab a Pack of Smokes

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 29, 2019 18:44

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

joining a doomsday cult and it's like buying a ticket on a budget airline.

didn't pay extra to choose your spouse so you just had one assigned to you instead

# ? Oct 29, 2019 19:10

Manifisto

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

Perfect Record for Coming Back Home After Running Out to Grab a Pack of Smokes

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Oct 29, 2019 19:35

Escape From Noise

Always gets that undercoating.

# ? Oct 30, 2019 07:56

Heather Papps: hello friend

will change the tires and oil on your car, but won't let you forget it, ever.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 30, 2019 12:54

nut

always offers to pay for his meal at the restaurant but never eats it just lets it sit there while he watch me eat each bite no words no facial expressions just watch when the bill comes he already has cash and tip out for his half and insists on a doggie bag he bring the food home and never eat

# ? Oct 30, 2019 13:50

Heather Papps: hello friend

only expressed disappointment over his birthday gift the one time

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 30, 2019 13:51

Heather Papps: hello friend

remembers to pick the kids up from karate, MOST OF THE TIME

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 30, 2019 20:18

Heather Papps: hello friend

cut his video game time down to only 4 hours an evening after the baby was born

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 30, 2019 20:19

Heather Papps: hello friend

is too busy too pick up his family at the airport, but will for sure find someone else to do it!

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 30, 2019 20:19

Finger Prince

Several cars on the property, none of them running, slowly being reclaimed by nature.
They're project cars. He'll get them running one day, then they'll be worth something. So he says.
You're not even sure he knows which end of a hammer is the hitting end.

# ? Oct 30, 2019 23:19

Heather Papps: hello friend

when you are on your period get's all skeezed out, but not like "super" skeezed out

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 30, 2019 23:20

Heather Papps: hello friend

"i made the loving drinks for your god damned book club, what more do you want!!!???"

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 30, 2019 23:21

Heather Papps: hello friend

okay, fine.... i guess, if you are going to have your c section that day i guess.... fine... i'll cancel poker nite. fine. no big deal. nothing. nevermind.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 30, 2019 23:22

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 03:18

Finger Prince

Hey could you pick up pads for me at the drugstore? I ran out.
Ewww gross, no way!

# ? Oct 30, 2019 23:22

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