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Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



im fed up with "ai" being added to everything by credulous idiots. someone yesterday literally said "oh my friend had written a programme in python and R that uses ai to analyse emails and decide if I have capacity for tasks!" and ok sure you entire department is basically disorganised and you don't know who is doing what but the solution to that is to capture wtf you are working on not some ml model poo poo


and is a job where you are allocated tasks based on an ML model and punished for failure through the pile up of tasks really a state to aim for?

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Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



gonadic io posted:

That's pretty yikes if that gets applied and enforced

there are already companies that will install tracking/monitoring sensors in desks to profile employees so it's the logical outcome, what CEO could possibly resist being able to reduce employees to interchangeable spheres of uniform density?

anyway what this teams needs is a shared calendar and some actual management, not an AI model of emails

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Soricidus posted:

I already have like 42069 unread emails in my inbox, there’s no way I have the capacity to do anything else on top of my mission critical shitposting

I'm sorry to tell you the AI says your poo poo posting is only at 75% of predicted capacity, you need to post more otherwise we're going to have to terminate you

you have to understand, we have to think of the shareholders....

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



attn: all posters

the posting profile for this thread (based on an advanced AI model*) shows there has been a marked decline in the number of posts itt over the last few days from the model baseline**, please rectify this situation*** or we will be forced to dock your pay****

yours,

management

* we average the number of posts per day

**we only look at 5 days data

***stymie got probed

****lol

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



infernal machines posted:

"properly trained AI"

what does this proper training look like? well, we don't know, but surely the results must indicate that it's true

i am willing to bet that for this use case it's one that just gives a normal distribution

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



car subscription/personal loan contract/etc. stuff is a massive balance sheet scam being used to mask poor sales imho

i can't wait for it to implode when all those massively depreciated assets come up for revaluation

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



rotor posted:

just let the dude chew a drat nut ok

If you chew it and hold it in your mouth behind your lip for hours then you're gonna get mouth cancer

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



don't worry, according to that article Facebook is gonna ban the hash tag #humansasproperty, that'll solve it.

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.




imagine the future burn when you try booking one and you get it through because the machine is like "c'mon dude you have no friends, you're clearly not going to throw a rager"

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



this place is hosed up

otoh I attribute my success at work at least partly to poo poo off this forum so maybe it's actually good?

Edit: I mean yospos here, THOSPOS.

Powerful Two-Hander fucked around with this message at 21:30 on Nov 8, 2019

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



like someone was talking about using twitter and news sources to do sentiment analysis and I said "oh yeah like how everyone started dunking on wework and the their results turned out to be trash and they imploded" and nobody knew what the gently caress I was talking about, I mean this is like related to our industry and they had no idea, and I probably wouldn't either if it wasn't for this dead gay forum

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Notorious b.s.d. posted:

wework was inescapable in the business news as well as some of the big national papers

maybe your coworkers just don't read any news at all

this is quite possible, I have an attention span of like 2 minutes or 3 hours and nothing in between so I'm either flipping between emails, IDE and news all day or wholly absorbed in adding some stupid feature nobody wants or cares about so as a result I read a lot of news

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Sagebrush posted:

Well the GBS OSHA thread has some spicy takes that you just sometimes have to kill innocent people in the name of science, you know, like in order to save pedestrians in the future some people are going to have to get run over by experimental cars today and that's just how this stuff is done

I saw an old film from the 1930s where they made similar points, but it was hard for me to understand because it was all in German

have you considered though that if the cars kill all the pedestrians, there'll be no more pedestrians to run over and therefore we have reached maximum safety

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



qirex posted:

imagine having multiple billions of dollars and choosing to go to a meeting, like in a dumb room with a speakerphone in it and watch some nervous idiot try to impress you with a powerpoint deck he spent all night tweaking instead of literally anything else it's possible for a human to do, like sure the room and catering will be way better than us schlubs get but still, you could be skydiving or exploring an ancient temple or drinking the best wine ever made by human hands or doing some weird sex thing you always wanted to try but you decided to go to a. loving. meeting.

what if its an actual loving meeting though? like the power points are all weird sex moves with slide transitions and stuff

me, a billionaire:*nods sagely* I appreciate your use of the star transition zooming in on the bung hole here Mason, I think I can get off on this. Good work.

visibly sweating junior in a suit: t-thank your sir, the team worked really hard on this.

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.




cyberpunk 2077 looking good

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



someone post that quote about George lucas being like "hmm the enemy is... Darth insanius" in a star wars meeting and everyone desperately trying to look elsewhere because of how bad that is, but it's Elon Musk and calling it the cybertruck

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.




lol our dms was granting read at root level to everybody added to it for years and it's only just being sorted out now. lower level permissions would trump inherited so maybe 50% of things were properly secured.

good news though: the search in the dms has been broken for 10 years so you couldn't find anything sensitive anyway!

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.




there was a moronic tory MP on the news reacting to the Labour "minimum rental standards" rules or whatever by saying "well these requirements and rent cap proposals are completely wrong because they will drive landlords to stop renting which will damage the market" and its like yeah no poo poo what a crying shame that would be if they have to sell some of their many properties or take less profit.

unless they literally burn the place down out of spite (possible) then a landlord exiting is either selling to someone who will comply or to an outright owner.

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



fart simpson posted:

idk a lot of american landlords just leave the property vacant rather than rent for less than “market rate”

true but only valid if they can eat the financing costs of it and seeing as buy to let landlords and generally mortgaged to the max that only works if prices are sky rocketing to offset it. or they really are that spiteful (again, possible)

then again there are loads of empty commercial properties in the UK because their owners are too short sighted to realise that jacking rents kills the businesses using them and this dominoes into a ghost town in no time

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



gonadic io posted:

Does anybody have the quote handy about the guy whose company was testing microdosing but also switched away from salesforce or whatever at the same time?

haha what???

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



infernal machines posted:

gonna halo drop to a merchant marine ship in order to suppress labour action.

why yes, this will cost more than the negotiated benefits in their proposed CBA, what of it?

deus ex 3 sounds like it's taking an odd turn

qirex posted:

I had this one econ professor who we all thought was also some sort of cia super badass, super square dude in his 50s with a grey crewcut in oddly good shape who'd not show up unexpectedly for a couple lectures because he was "consulting" overseas

was he named after a dog?

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.




Next Door is owned by them isn't it? Because that's 50%lost pets and 50% "I saw a youth in a hoodie everyone watch out"

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

It's pretty cool that the petty tribalism that helps us survive in our more primitive phases can be manipulated today to completely destroy us.

have you considered that perhaps we should be destroyed???

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



pseudorandom name posted:

realistically the accident was caused by somebody attempting to report something in the Waze app while driving

the future will have competing self driving cars false flagging each other to drive down their competitors success stats

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



from the r/relationships thread:


quote:

I ordered food(subway) from uber eats along with ice tea. The delivery guy gave me the order but instead of giving me the bottle with ice tea, he gave me a bottle with Petrol in it. I come home and without noticing, took a huge sip only to realize that I just drank petrol. I spit everything out, and report the incident to uber eats. Then about an hour later, the delivery guy calls, apologizes and asks to meet up and take my tea. I meet him, give his fuel back and take my drink. Throughout our interaction, he was very apologetic and said this has never happened to him. I come home and some senior executive from Uber's health and safety department informs me that they have launched a full on investigation into the incident. I am pretty sure they are gonna fire the guy and to be fair, I was careless to drink the fuel in the first place. He just made a mistake and thanks to me and my lack of paying attention to, will loose his job. I am really conflicted here. Am I the rear end in a top hat?

Edit: The reason he had fuel in front was as he discribed it was cause he ran out of fuel while coming and had two soda bottles with him which he filled with gas he borrowed from someone. He only used the first bottle and so switched out the bottles.

Soda Bottle with fuel Chat with uber https://imgur.com/a/y7utbLP

difficult to decide which is the worst decision here. I'm going to go with "paying someone a pittance to deliver food from, of all places, subway"

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.




had to watch it twice because I was convinced it was a fake of some kind.

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Jimmy Carter posted:

this loving poo poo unexpectedly showed up in my car this morning.

The only consolation is that the process for enabling it involves 2 apps and given BMW's history of Software QA, it probably doesn't work if you have your phone plugged in to charge.



Alexa, take the wheel!

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



just lmao at those people shouting about "this is real start up life! how dare they complain! they are part of something amazing!" about a direct mail luggage producer.

Like, this is a straight forward direct sales job that's been around forever but somehow it's an amazing SV startup because, idk, they're managed incompetently, are incapable of scaling properly, have a ~~lifestyle~~ ad campaign and took piles cash from idiots?

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



incredibly lol if you have to fly for work and they aren't sending you business class

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



"cya later plebs!" I shout as I walk through the business lane and customs and straight to the free bar

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Internet Janitor posted:

"when we started looking into the problem, we were surprised by what we found"

*slide with magnifying glass pointed at a book*

"as early as the late 1930s, scientists in germany and japan had begun research into techniques for dealing with many of these genetic disorders"

*slide with outline of japan and an unusually distended outline of germany*

"so why didn't those researchers succeed?"

*slide with question mark*
*dramatic pause*
*shots of the audience murmuring thoughtfully to one another*


*audio sting*
*photo of a punched hollerith card and a sliver of a tattooed human forearm just barely out of frame*


"at the time, computers were in their infancy. but today..."

*slide with exponential curve and the words "moore's law"*

"...all that has changed!"

*cut to ray kurzweil in the audience, nodding vigorously in agreement and visibly shedding a tear*

IBM execs playing the long game here I see

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



whenever we talk to cloud hosted software vendors we actively exclude them if they only use google cloud because come the gently caress on, nobody uses that

iirc HSBC signed some mega deal with Google to move to their cloud and the general response was "lol good luck with that"

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



I played a lot of alpha centauri when I was younger and I can confidently state that the solution is a solar shade






then you use the planet buster on your enemies

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



ground floor on the biggest yospos achievement since that one poster that worked for tesla got quotes on twitter and people lost their minds

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



President Beep posted:

thumbs blew the lid off that one too. they’re a regular woodward bernstein

a poster who doxx theyself? Shameful

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



just use a pi running kodi and it's really good when it works and has excellent library management hope you like rescanning everything every other time you use it cos it broke lol

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



https://twitter.com/GeorgiaKromrei/status/1212846345393971205

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.




this infuriates the shaggar

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Pinterest Mom posted:

https://twitter.com/Carnage4Life/status/1214972392671330304

At this time, I would like to announce that going forward, all my posts are to be understood to be Statements.

woah you can hellban yourself?

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Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



isn't that serfs as a service grocery thing basically the same as that startup that was putting ready meals into fridges in bodegas and imploded because they didn't bother to get licensed and the bodegas kept turning the fridges off to save power. and they lost money on every meal to "gain market"

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