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Wait... has the "Impossible Clown" been discussed already?
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Jan 16, 2020 23:33
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 21:48 |
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GunnerJ posted:Wait... has the "Impossible Clown" been discussed already? It has not, mostly because I actually recruit some so I figured I'd show it then.
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Jan 16, 2020 23:41
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gonadic io posted:It has not, mostly because I actually recruit some so I figured I'd show it then. Oh, sorry, I just saw one in one of the screenshots and was confused.
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Jan 16, 2020 23:45
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GunnerJ posted:Oh, sorry, I just saw one in one of the screenshots and was confused. Oh poo poo you're right I did actually get one a turn or two ago and missed it. Absurdo here was going to be part of my underwater force hence the water breathing armour. Instead he is down in Fennoscandia's caves. It's quite hard to build a solo thug with only construction 2 and no earth or nature magic so it's more likely that he'll be on attack rear duty with the UW indies when he eventually gets to the lake. 
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Jan 16, 2020 23:52
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I'm shocked that the nation of feet isn't being led by the god Quentin Tarantino. Or Shredder, though that would leave them weak to any nation with turtles. Also, on the subject of where new clowns come from, I'm pretty sure that whenever a normal human child has a birthday party there's a chance of a newborn clown spawning from the aether to provide entertainment.
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Jan 17, 2020 06:24
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69 hp nice
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Jan 18, 2020 00:10
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Meinberg posted:69 hp It's only 69 because the clown is bigger than usual. nice
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Jan 18, 2020 00:22
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Cerebral Bore posted:It's only 69 because the clown is bigger than usual. Sadly not true, the Impossible Clown is size 6, 69 HP base. Larger bless does nothing for it but make it relatively less impressively large.
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Jan 18, 2020 00:28
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gonadic io posted:Sadly not true, the Impossible Clown is size 6, 69 HP base. Larger bless does nothing for it but make it relatively less impressively large. He big
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Jan 18, 2020 00:28
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Meinberg posted:He big Pearl, no
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Jan 18, 2020 00:47
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constantly growing throughout their lives?? humans considered unable to fulfil most religious postings?? the clowns are atlanteans aren't they
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Jan 18, 2020 11:00
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Life under the sea...
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Jan 18, 2020 12:27
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Nice basalt. For a clown to carve.
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Jan 18, 2020 15:01
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:constantly growing throughout their lives?? humans considered unable to fulfil most religious postings?? the clowns are atlanteans aren't they Did you not see their skin? They are Pale Ones, obviously.
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Jan 18, 2020 15:46
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Straight White Shark posted:Did you not see their skin? They are Pale Ones, obviously. That's the clown makeup.
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Jan 18, 2020 16:01
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gonadic io posted:That's the clown makeup. Please tell me there's a clown make-up kit item that autoblesses the one wearing it.
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Jan 18, 2020 18:55
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Arcvasti posted:Please tell me there's a clown make-up kit item that autoblesses the one wearing it. I assume that's what Holy Water is.
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Jan 18, 2020 20:06
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Turn 23 Start of turn! Mantises have claimed a throne, I guess that's what their pretender was doing hanging around in the caves. The throne was the Crystal Throne. Nothing else of note happened here before searching (which I'm not going to even comment on) so that means Karanaac did not take advantage of the fact that we gave them another opportunity to try and telefrag our stack.  The Crystal Throne is down south in the caves here, and I'm quite concerned by the large army next to the candle province that I need to connect my two sets of provinces.  The throne gives one the ability to recruit Crystal Mages. Earth 2 and Astral 2 is an extremely good path for forging all sorts of things so I'm very jealous of these. I don't really want to fight the mantises next if I can avoid it though I'd much rather squash U or Anglia.  Karanaac may not have teleported onto me but their now healed god did try to break siege. He brought with him a few bear warriors and a dozen warrior bears. This must be one turn of recruitment as well as a few turns of desperation summons.  However against my 60 clowns they didn't really have a chance. Once again Burning Man the pretender managed to kill a few clowns before taking an injury, in this case a broken leg, and peacing out back into the fortress. Karanaac really struggles to get off the ground as it were and taking lovely turmoil scales instead of nice money producing (and clown suppressing) order has done them absolutely no favours.   What's funny is that Karanaac did have a teleport attack force this turn. However they were so intimidated by clowns that they instead spent their last gasp screwing over U one last time and killed their army instead of the one about to be on their cap. I think that makes 3 soul slain immortals at this point? There's not even a lab in that province so those rocks are stuck there effectively forever (until they can build a 1k lab).  quote:[6:28 AM] Xanrick: Useless spite to send something at me I guess. Over in Fennoscandia we once again sweep through minimal amounts of PD with way too many clowns.  Additionally our 50 strong UW indie force presumably breezed through this 6 PD province. Look at how much we outnumber them by!  Wait what's happening?  God. loving. drat. It. I'm done spending hundreds of gold on these absolutely trash tier troops. I'm not exactly sure how I'll get lake access but I'll probably just thug some clowns somehow. Maybe with water elementals?  Anyway we consolidate our two clown forces into Fennoscandia's cap circle province and next turn will go onto the cap itself. I'm still pretty suspicious that Anglia is giving it up that easily but they'll get the throne. I could probably get Kitfox to help me fight them if needed.  Turns out Fennoscandia had some cousins in Karanaac?  Anyway we're just going to storm this turn. I'm assuming there's basically nothing but the god in there and I'd like to go in before he heals up again. I know the usual wisdom is to always ping with a scout first to be 100% about what you're up against but we don't need to do that, what's the worst that could happen?  Up north we took that province back from Eljudnir and they didn't even put any PD in it! Looking closely the illusions are in their cap circle too. This is great for me, it was going to be very difficult to fight the frost wraiths in melee but thunder and lightning are very very frightening for them, for them.  In the throne we took off of Fennoscandia there's also a Temple of Darkness so one armless woman will spent the rest of her life summoning 2 shades a turn forever. They may even come in handy!   Oh yeah one more thing - we're finally building the temple to go along with the lab in the lizard province so next turn can start recruiting lizard shamans. gonadic io fucked around with this message at 00:20 on Jan 19, 2020 |
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Jan 18, 2020 22:48
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am i reading that correctly or are those shades amphibious and thus able to conquer that lake you recruited those lovely atlanteans for i mean, this post can't possibly be helpful since you're dozens of turns ahead, but whatever
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Jan 19, 2020 00:19
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President Ark posted:am i reading that correctly or are those shades amphibious and thus able to conquer that lake you recruited those lovely atlanteans for They are yeah but at only 2/turn it'll be a long long while before there's enough of them to do anything. Still though now my research is less trash I do have a mage set to build them so we'll get a force eventually.
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Jan 19, 2020 00:21
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gonadic io posted:They are yeah but at only 2/turn it'll be a long long while before there's enough of them to do anything. Still though now my research is less trash I do have a mage set to build them so we'll get a force eventually. well at 2/turn maybe it actually will be relevant that i'm pointing this out since you'll probably have like 60 of them now!
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Jan 19, 2020 00:25
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Jeez, the luck (or lack thereof) on site searching is painful. Guess the game is cursing you for roflstomping everything so far (besides the expeditions into the sea.)
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Jan 19, 2020 03:21
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honestly gon you deserve everything you get for paying actual money on militia
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Jan 19, 2020 03:36
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Jan 19, 2020 08:11
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Taking stock at turn 23 Here's our empire as it currently stands, including our site searching record. Other than the Starlit Pond (1 pearl per turn) we have genuinely not found any sites at all. All the others are sites that are automatically revealed, like Arena that gives a touch of gold or Plains of Perpetual Drought which gives 1 fire gem per turn and increases heat. Our current best gem income province is (other than our own cap) the throne which Fennoscandia site searched for us.  Our research is still really quite dire but we have a fort pumping out researchers and are putting all our air gems into quills so it should keep improving (slowly). Once we have Karanaac/Fennoscandia's cap we can recruit researchers in those, plus we'll be getting lizard shamans (also slowly) from next turn. Being too poor (too blessed) to build any forts and instead taking the ones your neighbours built for you is a very classic dominions strategy. Next target is evocation 5 for thunderstrike, the first real battle magic we can use.  We own a very good amount of land though, maybe the bottom 15-20% of the map. When you consider that there's 10 nations that puts us well above average. At this point I'm feeling pretty triumphant about very soon getting (almost certainly, what could go wrong) a total of 3 caps and since caps generate much larger amounts of gold than normal provinces I'm hoping those will ease our money woes too. The lack of both research and gem income certainly isn't a good thing but I took my bless to try and increase the length of time that clown troops stay relevant for. Eventually though summons, devastating battle magic, and other late game strategies are going to make mundane clowns obsolete. 
gonadic io fucked around with this message at 11:42 on Jan 19, 2020 |
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Jan 19, 2020 11:09
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I had to fix the hosting but this is going in the OP for sure I missed it at the time but this too!
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Jan 19, 2020 11:23
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Under this sun, no boredom will fall Throwing our pies as we charge A Clownzer battalion on course to the east Closing the end of it's march This time we're here, to finish a job, Started one show ago Driving the animals out of their holes To force them to put on a show Massive Pies of pasty destruction Comics in the east Rats who dare to cry before us Feel our pies go live Fun in the shape of a Clownzer battalion Insect in terror don't cry, laugh out loud like a Clown! Man cannot outrun our Clownzer Battalion Thousands of tons, of seltzer and puns, Making it's way through the land Our Clownzer battalion is back for a benge Alcohol sweeping the band First line is ours, no mercy is shown There's rivers of laughs in our tracks Breaking their waves of defense with our japes Jugglers watching our back
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Jan 19, 2020 20:07
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Turn 24 Let's get straight to it, we were storming Karanaac's cap! Our brave clowns line up, ready to defeat the rocky menace. I'm not nearly as worried about this after seeing Karanaac's last gently caress-you attack against U last turn, presumably all they have this turn is whatever couldn't teleport out and 1 turn of recruitment.  Speaking of, this is what we've got. The god, 3 research rocks that do nothing, 1 priest rock that does basically nothing, 4 troop rocks that are only slaves, one super priest statue(???) and the god.  The Telestic Animate statue is interesting because it's not specific to Karanaac, it's a normal summon. I have no idea why you would ever waste pearls on an immobile H2 like this when you're not fighting undead. It's thematic with the rest of Karanaac's stuff I suppose even if it is branching out into wood instead of rock.  Finally there's the fort defenders themselves. One actual mage rock then a few sacred slave rocks. I'm calling it now that mage rock, fortified right on the end of the palisades, is going to be real annoying to kill.  It starts as you'd expect with the clowns running forward, the rocks not moving, and the god has somehow lost his script or been just set to attack without casting? Odd. He just runs forward too, perhaps to try and block the gate? Perhaps to prevent him from running away? His leg has healed anyway.  The clowns beat him to the gate despite that and small clowns swiftly form a surround while large clowns run to the back of the battlefield.  Recall that against size 5 targets like this god, 2 small clowns actually do more damage than 1 large one and with all those numbers slamming into him, Burning Man the pretender doesn't last very long at all.  Meanwhile the large clowns on attack-rear slam into the backlines and skillfully destroy all the defenseless rocks there.  This leaves only one last rock however they could be a real problem. They're only accessible by one clown at a time, and they're buffed up with astral shield to try and paralyse attackers. If the paralysis managed to last 100 turns (with the clown constantly getting re-paralysed when trying to attack), which is entirely possible, then my forces would run off and be repelled. It wouldn't matter that I'd killed every rock except one, and that rock was trying to flee, all the fort defenders would come back next time too. The fact that rocks have no legs to run away with is honestly one of their best traits.  What's even worse is that the clown in question is cursed, so more likely to fail paralysis rolls, and has a few afflictions including arm-loss to reduce their damage output further. Despite what the sprites look like, the rock is size 6 and our brave boys are only size 5. I am really quite worried now, this is typical rock bullshit. I won many fights when I was playing Karanaac using strategies like this.  Nearby clowns throw all their pies which helps, and the nearby mages cast some evocations but it's just not enough and the pies are swiftly exhausted.  However I have one last trick up my sleeve, the portion of my bless that hasn't come up yet: the magic resistance. This was specifically taken with astral shield in mind and reduces the paralysis by about 30% which is just enough for the crippled, one-armed clown to finish off the rock. Victory!  Karanaac's cap is a real weird one, it has three different sites. Some mods clean up after themselves by having their sites vanish, or by having other nations not able to use the recruitment part of cap sites. Karanaac, does not. This is mostly because they can summon the marverni sites anywhere not just in their cap. Incidentally clowns also can summon a recruitment site later on and it vanishes when enemies take the province. Anyway the first site is a real good one. Six pearls is an incredible amount, ritual range is nice I guess, and +3 HP on all blessed units is totally unheard of for a cap site. I hadn't realised that I got the HP it's a great prize. Imagine if U got this and their 3 HP blessed feet suddenly doubled in health!  The next two, not so much. Minus 70 gold per turn and more order which is detrimental to clowns trying to fight here. Being able to recruit a bunch of Marverni mages would be extremely good EXCEPT that in order to prevent every single person on the map from beelining for Karanaac's cap instantly you can only recruit them with a priest rock (Dolmen) in the province, and those are only recruitable by Karanaac. Unless you get really lucky with an Enslave Mind cast when you take the cap, or you wish for one, I don't see a way to unlock the recruitment.   What's even worse is that because of this mechanism the units still appear in the recruitment screen in addition to the clown ones so it looks like this. We can actually recruit the non-sacred commanders/troops without the priest rock but there's absolutely no reason why we would ever do this.  In other news then we also get a sneak preview of Chasos trying to take Eljudnir's cap. I know I haven't done Chasos's nation preview yet but we haven't really interacted with them. This screenshot is not blurry, they're basically all glamoured. Chasos are basically the hidden survivors of an apocalypse so they get events reducing all their population a bunch, but in return get commanders and illusion troops spawning very easily.  Up against them are a large amount of undead, mostly the melee troops we've already seen. The black clouds on the battlefield are from an undead commander, and lower morale of non-undead.  The most noteworthy part of Chasos's forces are a whole bunch of their sacred illusions which we can see their bless of 15 shock resistance, twist fate, and strength +4 on. Seriously how many people have taken strength this game? Since they only have 3 hp, and have glamour which stops working once they take a hit, twist fate is great. Their weapon is MR negates however which can be annoying.  We also see their main commander the Herald of Truth. Starting as H3 and in a communion in this battle his job is to spend the entire thing smiting undead as a H5.  Sadly it's not enough. There's a huge amount of undead and between the reanimation and horde of skeletons their numbers only grow. Anyway I'm all for the undead being killed, and heavy losses to do so are preferable to me too.   There's one more battle this turn though, and it's not one I wanted to see.  The mantises did indeed move their throne force to take the south-most large candle. However their force isn't actually large, only the pretender, one big mage, one medium mage, and then a small amount of chaff.  We get to see the pretender's bless too - it's nothing. Literally nothing. Uh, I guess that means they've gone all scales then? Don't get me wrong this is a pretty scary thug but it's also naked with no gems and only 63 hp. If that gets into my dominion then just a few evocations will knock it right the gently caress out.  Unfortunately this means that we can't risk the fight on Fennoscandia's cap. If the mantises had waited like 1 turn we would have been in a lot of trouble, and if they'd waited like 3 we'd probably have the cap and be laughing about it. All our forces in Fennoscandia's lands turn around and move to the small candle - the connecting province from the large candle the mantises took. I let Anglia know that they can take the cap but still, I assume I'll get the mantis cap to make up for it.  For I believe the third time we get some pretty great gold events and these are our best yet! We're going to spend it on a fort on the cave throne and a temple in Karanaac itself. Speaking of that throne, it took a few turns but we have a Clown Paramount, our small cap-only H3s in position to claim it. Ancient Clowns, of which Pongy is still our only one, are far too valuable to waste their precious turns on mundane matters like throne claiming.   Our lizard shaman recruitment is actually happening! I'm pretty excited about these guys, since our lands clearly have no death, astral, air, holy, or water sites I assume they must be all nature ones! Could also be earth, blood, and fire but whatever. Since there's no fort we won't finish recruitment all in one go so we'll get it the turn after next.  Back in the east I'm not really sure what to do about the mantises. Since I'm building a temple anyway I see no reason to move out just yet. I want to see if that mantis force will continue to go after me or if it'll pick up Karanaac's holdings. I'm going to leave that province, Ernigrad, with the rocks in. They won't get out of there for a while and it's really nice having a natural rock barrier to prevent U from getting any ideas about trying to take Karanaac's cap. 
gonadic io fucked around with this message at 09:20 on Jan 23, 2020 |
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Jan 22, 2020 22:22
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I have to admit I was hoping that last rock would balk you, that would have been perfect comedy.
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Jan 22, 2020 22:48
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PurpleXVI posted:I have to admit I was hoping that last rock would balk you, that would have been perfect comedy. Humor is about subverting expectations.
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Jan 22, 2020 23:22
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And besides, having a one-armed crippled clown still knock down an immovable rock in-between seizing up from paralysis attacks is about equitable in humour.
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Jan 23, 2020 01:14
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Sage Grimm posted:And besides, having a one-armed crippled clown still knock down an immovable rock in-between seizing up from paralysis attacks is about equitable in humour. So, while there is a special affliction representing losing an arm, and even one for losing your head, there isn't one for losing a leg, you just get the "crippled" affliction if something say, chops off your leg. So it is possible that this is a one-armed, one-legged clown, who just won a rock-kicking contest.
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Jan 23, 2020 02:24
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Alex0080 posted:So, while there is a special affliction representing losing an arm, and even one for losing your head, there isn't one for losing a leg, you just get the "crippled" affliction if something say, chops off your leg. So it is possible that this is a one-armed, one-legged clown, who just won a rock-kicking contest. A legless clown simply becomes immortal to represent his inability to kick the bucket.
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Jan 23, 2020 02:35
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Clearly, that clown was between a rock and a har place. 
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Jan 23, 2020 05:34
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Ultimately the rocks were never going to win, compared to that clown they didn't have a leg to stand on. Anyway, as the player of Chasos, that battle was a bummer, but not quite as devastating as it seemed, when Gonadic does a Nation summary, you'll see that a lot of the units in that fight were rather Chaff-y, the only decent ones being the Truthwoven Infantry. Also i didn't make notes, but I believe that an un-introduced nation was attacking some of their outlying provinces at this time, meaning that spending this time fighting off my forces led to them losing provinces elsewhere. Apart from that, there wasn't much else intersting happening outside of Gonadics view at this time.
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Jan 23, 2020 05:47
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And with this successful siege, OP has finally gained some magic sites!
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Jan 23, 2020 05:59
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What's funniest to me, personally, is how few rocks we actually fought. We beat one World Shard and one Arcane Menhir. Sure the former are 30 earth gems but the latter is just 175 gold and that's it. U fought through at least 3 Elder Stones at 400g each, I think one or two 30 pearl Cromleches, and at least one 700g Astral Megalith. They lost 3 immortal huge summons to soul slay, and untold numbers of feet. What did they get out of it? Absolutely nothing. Karanaac even teleported rocks out of a sieged capital knowing they wouldn't get back in time just to spite kill a few more of U's expensive units.
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Jan 23, 2020 10:50
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gonadic io posted:Karanaac even teleported rocks out of a sieged capital knowing they wouldn't get back in time just to spite kill a few more of U's expensive units.
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Jan 23, 2020 12:55
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You don't play this game to win or play it to have fun. You play it to spite others more than they spite you
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Jan 23, 2020 13:07
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 21:48 |
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In the long term being a spiteful gently caress when you're about to lose is definitely a winning strategy.
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Jan 23, 2020 13:53
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