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V. Illych L. posted:so how is the foot nation doing anyway Scary as they seem, they'll never get ahead
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Aug 3, 2020 03:27
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Big Mad Drongo posted:Scary as they seem, they'll never get ahead I think you're going out on a limb here, they might stop playing footsie and really punch above their weight soon
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Aug 3, 2020 05:08
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Enjoy posted:I think you're going out on a limb here, they might stop playing footsie and really punch above their weight soon Really? They seem 'armless enough to me.
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Aug 3, 2020 05:57
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V. Illych L. posted:so how is the foot nation doing anyway "Arm yourself, Watson, there is an evil hand afoot ahead."
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Aug 3, 2020 16:13
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you're not allowed to post on this many different accounts, esteban
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Aug 3, 2020 18:40
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I'm gonna be salty if the clowns lose the game.
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Aug 5, 2020 06:35
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The funniest outcome would be for the clowns to be about one turn away from victory only to lose at the last moment due to some hilarious Dominions bullshit, so that's what's going to happen.
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Aug 5, 2020 07:46
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Whatever happens to the previous victory of the god wars? Iirc its implied they keep getting baited/tricked away by the Horrors and then eaten right? Is the Dominions universe just a scam/God bits farm for extradimensional void Horrors?
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Aug 5, 2020 10:00
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Artificer posted:Whatever happens to the previous victory of the god wars? the fiction of each game is that the previous Pantokrator gets bored and leaves, and that's what allows the pretenders to pretend to the throne - an authority vacuum at the top. As to the actual fate of Pantokrators past - well, none of them have ever come back to say where they got to.
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Aug 5, 2020 10:29
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IIRC the victory message heavily implies that horrors eat you after some time
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Aug 5, 2020 14:00
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Xarn posted:IIRC the victory message heavily implies that horrors eat you after some time It mentions being pulled away/drawn towards some other place via boredom or what have you. Whether you become a horror, ascend to a higher plane, or just get eaten is left to interpretation.
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Aug 5, 2020 16:49
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The clown pantokrator would discover a new joke by slipping on a banana and not falling down, but rather tumble upwards into the void forever, chased by a duck.
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Aug 7, 2020 21:33
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Turn 58 As per usual let's check out mind hunts:  Yes! It only cost us 12 pearls or so, I call that a deal honestly. We're going to immediately break out with some clowns so we can get back to recruiting.  We successfully beat the mage-light Anglia force on the Fenno throne in the south east. When we actually try, and have mages casting the right buffs, clowns still absolutely demolish Anglian forces. The main issue is being able to marshal forces into these fights - 80% of the fighting so far has been massive forces beating token amounts of PD. That's just how it goes.  Joaquin Phoenix's Oscar sits on the adjacent fort to prevent any reinforcements. Since he didn't have to fight anybody I'm not entirely sure if there were any coming but there certainly aren't any more.  As I mentioned though he's completely stuck there so my force is going to take that fort and roll him into the lab where he can teleport again.  Jellybean continues to roam around Anglian lands and the force behind him continues to retake them.   Anglia are actually lagging a bit in terms of cleaning up after him, looks like there's been an indie attack too. Sucks to be them! It's not a lot but we're slowing army movement, Anglia's attention, and costing some gold and gems too.  Meanwhile our main battleforce is next door to Fennoscandia's cap, a major target due to its extra gems and income. Unfortunately some enormous clowns somehow found themselves without a leader? poo poo. Unlike how Anglia callously left the Ether Warriors to die, our whole force is stopping and turning around to pick them up. Leave no clown behind!   Over in Karanaac lands looks like we've successfully whittled down Anglia's raiding force with mind hunts such that they can only transport 40 men around at a time.  We're mind hunting that commander and breaking siege in the same turn, Roland the Ancient Clown should be able to beat them off easily enough.  Anglia's main force is still sitting on our cave throne-wait what they broke the walls last turn? This was pretty annoying because I had failed to notice this - while I wouldn't be able to have won the battle I certainly could have teleported most of those mages to safety if I had paid attention. We absolutely will have to take this throne back but while Anglia's force is over here it's not defending the capitals of Fennoscandia or Anglia itself.  There's not really much we can do about the throne down here just yet so we're going to clean up some more mantises but that's it for now.  Some noteworthy events this turn too: a free item is good I guess since we're forging them for mind hunting anyway, and poo poo an indie attack. Sucks to be us! It's nowhere important, just one of the western cave provinces that Anglia was probably about to take anyway.   U claimed another throne, putting them at 3 total. This makes them joint first with Chasos who also have 3 but me and Anglia would have more if we would just stop de-claiming each other's! The victory condition is at 7 thrones. Not yet concerning.  Hit conj 7 this turn! It's a big milestone, with the group elemental summons, the very funny Wild Hunt (not that we can cast it), and for us we get our next clown summon! It's a realll good one. Next research is evo 7, for the army-killing spells.  I don't actually have an S4A2 caster free right now so you'll have to wait a turn. Meanwhile here's the description: 
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Aug 10, 2020 20:09
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The clowns ought to have some national Evo spells like throwing titanic pies or seltzer water sprays around. also, it's funny how much mind hunting changes from being on the receiving or sending end. Sending: gently caress gently caress gently caress WHY DO THESE ASSHOLES KEEP RESISTING. Receiving: gently caress gently caress gently caress WHO'S DOING THIS WHY DO NONE OF THE TARGETS MANAGE TO RESIST. Because unless you know exactly who you're aiming for killing, as the launcher it can be real hard to tell if you're doing damage or just nuked a scout. As the receiver there's a constant sense of paranoia because any Mind Hunt could be the one where the DRN decides to annihilate your plans.
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Aug 11, 2020 08:55
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I am ready for Imaginary Clowns.
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Aug 11, 2020 18:52
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Ramc posted:I am ready for Imaginary Clowns. All the kids are going crazy for the hit new band, Imagine Clowns.
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Aug 11, 2020 19:16
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Are they imaginary comedians, or comedians of imaginary comedy? Is it comedy that people can only imagine, or the person that only imagines they are funny? Is it like imaginary numbers? Will we see the square root of the anti-joke? So many options. Such anticipation.
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Aug 11, 2020 19:20
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goatface posted:Are they imaginary comedians, or comedians of imaginary comedy? My personal speculation is that it's comedy where the implied but unstated punchline is funnier than any stated punchline could be.
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Aug 11, 2020 19:22
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I'm expecting the Imaginary Clown's description to be pure gold, like many of the others from this nation.
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Aug 11, 2020 19:29
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It turns out all the clowns were imaginary the whole time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSnFWVtH2yw
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Aug 11, 2020 21:20
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the turn the imaginary clown is summoned, the monitor turns off
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Aug 11, 2020 22:11
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do the clowns have a national knock-off of gifts from heaven called "pies from sky" and if not, why not
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Aug 11, 2020 22:23
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Arcanuse posted:the turn the imaginary clown is summoned, the monitor turns off no, that reveals the only clown that is truly real.
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Aug 11, 2020 23:18
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Ramc posted:no, that reveals the only clown that is truly real. Ah, but is that all it does? The one being reflected is indeed the realest of clowns, but is not the reflection of said clown an imaginary one? All the jokes their original never told, all the witty lines thought of after the fact, all the potential acts of Comedy passed up on, there is the imaginary clown.
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Aug 12, 2020 01:01
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Arcanuse posted:Ah, but is that all it does? Those things aren't actually funny though.
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Aug 12, 2020 01:08
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gonadic io posted:Those things aren't actually funny though. Ah, so transcendental comedy then.
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Aug 12, 2020 01:31
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That's the point, imaginary comedy is to work with complex humour; where the joke doesn't appear to be really funny because by all appearances its linear expression fails to meet the requirements and falls flat. But if you introduce an *imaginary* component to it, all of a sudden the punchline is found (sometimes two for double the punch!) and it hangs together satisfactorily. On this imaginary plane you can then manipulate the joke into spaces that would normally be unfunny and still be hilariously potent using a system called quatmirthions, though you may lose your audience in the process.
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Aug 12, 2020 05:43
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Sage Grimm posted:quatmirthions 
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Aug 12, 2020 06:33
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Arcanuse posted:the turn the imaginary clown is summoned, the monitor turns off lol Ramc posted:no, that reveals the only clown that is truly real. lol
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Aug 12, 2020 10:41
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Sage Grimm posted:That's the point, imaginary comedy is to work with complex humour; where the joke doesn't appear to be really funny because by all appearances its linear expression fails to meet the requirements and falls flat. But if you introduce an *imaginary* component to it, all of a sudden the punchline is found (sometimes two for double the punch!) and it hangs together satisfactorily. On this imaginary plane you can then manipulate the joke into spaces that would normally be unfunny and still be hilariously potent using a system called quatmirthions, though you may lose your audience in the process. The translation of Euler's identity to comedy theory, and the generalization of the required isomorphism to other domains, is left to the reader (not least because it involves at least one pie).
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Aug 12, 2020 16:50
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clowns are funny
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Aug 13, 2020 06:31
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Turn 59 Last turn I mentioned that A2S4 for Conjure Imaginary Comedian is quite hard to reach. The main problem is that while clowns have a LOT of A1S2 casters available, and boosting astral up by 2 is quite easy, boosting air is a lot harder. The most common air boosters require a minimum A4 which we simply don't have. My solution then, to summon a single 9 pearl troop, is to use an uncommon booster - the 80 pearl Ring of Wizardry.  It's absolutely worth it though. Imaginary Clowns (shown here in turmoil 3) are my favourite of Kirkostaculis' troops. With chaos power 2, and of course Larger, they are fantastically strong and this is without even the in-battle portion of my bless! They have the kick we all know and love, and share the Invisible Box magic weapon with the mime. By far their biggest strength, apart from their strength, is their teleportation. They can hit any province on the map at any time, and teleport in battle too. I love them so much. Of course since they're only a troop they would need a commander who can also teleport to take full advantage of the movement...advantage. It'd be nice if that commander also was a level 3 priest so that they can bless all the Imaginary Clowns while they were in battle. Now where would I find a teleporting H3 commander? It would be nice if they spread some dominion passively too actually. You'll have to wait and see!  Okay back to the normal turn. We hunt the mind of the Anglian raiding force commander, again.   Our breaking siege still encounters a force with commander, which must have been the backup recruited in desperation last turn next door. In retrospect I don't know why I bothered taking anybody else along with Roland the Ancient Clown here, although their deaths to mass gunfire did give Roland the time to buff up with all your favourite icons. He barely took a scratch, Mistform is really good especially when you've mindhunted all Anglia's priests so they can't even turn on their thunderweapons bless.   We also clean up the dregs that Karanaac's (mind hunted) god brought along.  Two more Mantis provinces cleaned up, whatever. Bye bye Helmut, no improved forts for me. This is probably Too Many Clowns doing this easy duty though. Whatever. This war is essentially over (and has been for at least 10 turns).   This leaves this area mostly free of threats now! The mantises have almost entirely gone, Karanaac is gone (for now) and the Anglian raiding force was successfully neutralised mostly without loss other than a few pearls. Worryingly it looks like U has summoned up enough Illearths (corrupted earth elementals) to take over the lake. Maybe they'll finish off Karanaac's province there for us though, that'd be nice.  The main problem on this side of the world is Anglia's main force who are content to sit here and claim the throne for now but I'm sure will soon be a problem.  Jellybean continues his nuisance-causing escapades, and the chase squad continues to stay 2-3 provinces behind him. This is working pretty well!    It's working so well, in fact, that while the rest of this force is "helping" our immobile god bring down these walls we have another Clown Paramount that's also going to go for a bit of a wander.  Talking of raiding, Anglia has long given up on sending ghoul attacks but this turn they try another: Phantasmal Attack. It's alt 7 but costs only 8 gems. Also it's quite bad and fails to do anything given that we've been boosting PD constantly over on the Anglian border.  There are two main thrusts this turn from Anglia near our cap. The first is just 2 merc groups and is just like, whatever. Any even moderately sized and buffed clown force would wipe these guys out so that's what we're going to do.  The other attack this turn is a bit of a different matter, and it looks like this:  Yup that's a massive, smelly, regenerating, recouperating dragon that's flying around on a magic carpet. It's also been given an amulet of +4 MR, presumably in an effort to stave off our mind hunts. Speaking of, we're firing off all 5 mind hunts at it. I haven't seen any stealthy astral mages from Anglia but if there was ever a place where that trap would be laid, it'd be here. We'll find out I guess.   I'm very glad our main force did go back for those lolly-gagging clowns since Anglia did indeed attempt to snipe them with a small force. Instead we got a bunch of free kills.  Right back on the march! It's time to take the fight to Anglia, for real this time. And yes I did triple-check that the clowns here had all been assigned to a commander after the last time they tried to pull this stunt with the Emerald Impaler's "funeral" if you remember that far back.  The only event of note this turn was that a group of zealots was so impressed with us that they signed up as roadies. Of course as each one did so they grew about 3 feet taller.  
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Aug 16, 2020 19:13
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Would clown flagellants whip themselves with comically long balloons or hit themselves with their own pies?
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Aug 16, 2020 19:55
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Man, Anglia must be so goddamn frustrated.
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Aug 16, 2020 19:55
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the opposite of wednesday
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Aug 16, 2020 19:56
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Tulip posted:Man, Anglia must be so goddamn frustrated.
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Aug 16, 2020 20:21
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Zereth posted:Things seemed to be going well for them until the clowns researched Mind Hunt. One of the basics of comedy is subverting expectations, after all!
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Aug 16, 2020 20:33
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Ramc posted:the opposite of wednesday BAHAHAHAHAHAHHA hahahahaha oooohhhhoooooo hahahahaha this joke is hilarious! You said.. you said, the opposite... the opposite of wednesday! HAHAHAHA! Wait, what?
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Aug 16, 2020 20:35
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yeah i really feel for anglia the nation just seems a bit underpowered and boring compared to, uh, certain other factions (and by other factions i mean the foot people, clowns and large conglomerations of rocks in particular)
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Aug 16, 2020 23:04
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gonadic io posted:The other attack this turn is a bit of a different matter, and it looks like this:
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Aug 16, 2020 23:13
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