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Bonzo posted:I called this "Arby's Chicken". My ex would do this and I would drive to an Arby's and see how far she's let me get in the ordering process before she'd blurt out where she wanted eat. This is brilliant. Unless she doesn't blink, and then you have to eat Arby's.
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Feb 13, 2020 21:10
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The Bramble posted:*sniffs thread* it's a complex scent, with hints of ballsweat, axe body spray, self-delusion and despair
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Feb 13, 2020 21:22
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Bonzo posted:I called this "Arby's Chicken". My ex would do this and I would drive to an Arby's and see how far she's let me get in the ordering process before she'd blurt out where she wanted eat. Taco Bell is our "unable to make a decision" failure meal.
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Feb 13, 2020 21:32
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-Lets go out to eat How about place A -Hmm no. Place B? -No Ok, where do you want to eat? -I don't know No problem, let me know when you've decided and we can head out Has anyone ever tried this??
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Feb 13, 2020 21:41
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Live Free posted:-Lets go out to eat Once they've finally "decided", every restaurant you originally talked about will be closed and you'll only have like one lovely option
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Feb 13, 2020 21:44
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Live Free posted:-Lets go out to eat Yes. I now refer to it as "The Great Famine of 2015".
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Feb 13, 2020 21:51
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The Bramble posted:*sniffs thread* This is because when men feel trapped it’s because we aren’t getting laid and can’t gently caress off to play with model trains or some poo poo, when women feel trapped it’s because they are worried they will be murdered. It’s not as funny to write “oh whoops caught another shiner for spending too long at the grocery store, clumsy me, right?” Edit: I’m not making light of domestic violence, I just think that in general, it’s harder for the ways in which women are abused and minimized to be made light of than it is for men, because men are so rarely in danger in relationships the way women are. Also some of the grossest posts in the thread highlight that the poster is in fact the butt of the joke for staying with their awful partners (like in AFH’s posts). It’s not coming across in all of them, but that’s what I’m getting from most of them, an “I’m trapped because I’m lazy and scared I’ll never find someone with boobs this big” kinda stuff. Bust Rodd fucked around with this message at 22:26 on Feb 13, 2020 |
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Feb 13, 2020 22:16
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Pretty sure not every woman in a lovely relationship is getting beaten up. It's probably just all dudes in here because it's something they rarely get to vent about, whereas women are discussing this poo poo 24/7 with eeeveryone
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Feb 13, 2020 23:06
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A good portion of these stories don't even need to be gendered, frustration and a sense of futility in long term relationships is a truly universal experience
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Feb 14, 2020 00:12
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*silence Because you're in the basement and she's on our bed in our room, texting her mom* this is art, not reality
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Feb 14, 2020 00:14
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I have to work on Saturday. Yes, really. No, it's just me and the boss, have to do a tear-down on the machine. Yes, the boss who is a man. No, the 'hot blonde' won't be there. No, I- No. No, I was just quoting you, I don't think she's hot. No, I'm not loving anyone. No one at all. Yeah, I guess I might be a little aggravated about that. No, I didn't mean it like th- Where are you going? At least throw me out a pillow and blanket before you lock me out of the bedro- Great. Guess I'll just cover up with the towels out of the hamper while I sleep on the floor.
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Feb 14, 2020 00:59
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The Bramble posted:*sniffs thread* Lol. If you're going to bitch about it at least offer up a story instead of just complaining. Be the change you want to see.
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Feb 14, 2020 01:02
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Wondering if you knocked him into a vat of bleach, it his rear end would still be dirty when they fished him out
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Feb 14, 2020 01:45
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I just got home from a long day of work and the kitchen sink is full of even more dishes than the one plate I put in from my breakfast. He's at home all day, why the gently caress can't he take the 10 seconds to rinse the drat things off and reuse them? Or put them in the dishwasher?! I'll just rearrange them anyways, but at least that's half the work done. Ugh, these probably aren't even all of his dishes and cups... He left an empty chip bag out on the counter. Is he also blind?! Fine, fine. I'll toss it in th- what the gently caress?! The garbage is full too! I will drive these jam encrusted butter knives into his eyes so he at least has the excuse that he can't see when the trash needs to be taken out. God, how many years have I put up with this bullshit? Fine, I'll just tell him to get on top of this poo poo and remind him of all the other chores he's neglected. And believe him when he says he'll do it later. Then I'll just end up doing it for him when he forgets because he's too busy playing video games. It's like I'm his goddamn mother. This is why we don't have sex anymore: I don't gently caress children.
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Feb 14, 2020 05:29
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I appreciate you eating like six bowls of chili tonight you fat poo poo. Love to look over and see my spouse shallowly breathing like an asthmatic who just ran 2 marathons because they’re so full of chili that they started sweating. Can’t wait for tomorrow when you remark like a loving dumbass that you ate a lot of chili last night with a proud look on your face like a dog that caught it’s own tail in between wondering why you can’t understand where this heartburn came from. Moron. (Spouse rips a huge stinky fart and laughs in their sleep)
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Feb 14, 2020 06:39
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Bust Rodd posted:This is because when men feel trapped it’s because we aren’t getting laid and can’t gently caress off to play with model trains or some poo poo, when women feel trapped it’s because they are worried they will be murdered. Paging Pick to this thread. Paging Pick to this thread.
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Feb 14, 2020 07:16
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Jay_Zombie posted:*married couple is getting ready to leave the house for a night out* My mom is like this. I kind of want to know what goes through these people's minds.
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Feb 14, 2020 07:24
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Bust Rodd posted:This is because when men feel trapped it’s because we aren’t getting laid and can’t gently caress off to play with model trains or some poo poo, when women feel trapped it’s because they are worried they will be murdered. William has left the toilet seat up again. I have begun to feel the Fear.
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Feb 14, 2020 07:32
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oldpainless posted:I appreciate you eating like six bowls of chili tonight you fat poo poo. Love to look over and see my spouse shallowly breathing like an asthmatic who just ran 2 marathons because they’re so full of chili that they started sweating. Can’t wait for tomorrow when you remark like a loving dumbass that you ate a lot of chili last night with a proud look on your face like a dog that caught it’s own tail in between wondering why you can’t understand where this heartburn came from. Moron. Same but I’m just talking to myself.
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Feb 14, 2020 08:18
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Ghost Leviathan posted:My mom is like this. I kind of want to know what goes through these people's minds. I carpool with a co-worker like this. They can show up at my house an hour late to the point where we would never be on-time for work but unless I'm sitting in the car with the engine running I become the reason we are late. Work starts at 8:30 and they don't even get to my house for our 45 minute commute until 8:30. I pull out of my driveway at 8:31 and they tell our boss they had to wait on me because it took me 30 seconds to lock my door and check my mail.
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Feb 14, 2020 08:26
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Valentine's Day: Wake up (regretfully) Take son to library Take son to park Feed son in car since he's cracking the shits Get home Make lunch for wife Make 2nd lunch for son Clean house Squeeze in two hours of work Go to post office Go to super market Go to pub for single beer Make dinner for wife and her friend Make dinner for son Make desert for wife and friend Do dishes and clean kitchen Bath son Put son to bed (takes an hour+) Spot where I went wrong.
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Feb 14, 2020 12:35
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Wutang-Yutani posted:Spot where I went wrong. You forgot to tuck your wife and her friend into bed.
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Feb 14, 2020 12:37
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I can’t believe how selfish you are going to the pub.
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Feb 14, 2020 14:44
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There was a long running story(possibly fake) in the confessions thread about a guy who ends up sleeping with his much younger and attractive co worker and his numerous attempts to hide the affair from his wife. Then poo poo gets weird when his mistress ends up befriending his wife and basically spending all of her free time at his house. It was my drug for months. I wonder what happened to that dork.
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Feb 14, 2020 15:08
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You write parody songs like these NSFW lyrics https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaShH-FSnlI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tFpryuETvA
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Feb 14, 2020 15:47
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Rectal Death Adept posted:I carpool with a co-worker like this. They can show up at my house an hour late to the point where we would never be on-time for work but unless I'm sitting in the car with the engine running I become the reason we are late. You're being abused and no jury would convict if you shot that motherfucker dead
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Feb 14, 2020 16:00
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oldpainless posted:I appreciate you eating like six bowls of chili tonight you fat poo poo. Love to look over and see my spouse shallowly breathing like an asthmatic who just ran 2 marathons because they’re so full of chili that they started sweating. Can’t wait for tomorrow when you remark like a loving dumbass that you ate a lot of chili last night with a proud look on your face like a dog that caught it’s own tail in between wondering why you can’t understand where this heartburn came from. Moron. Wow! A goon married Alex Jones!
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Feb 14, 2020 17:53
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Wutang-Yutani posted:Spot where I went wrong. Wutang-Yutani posted:Wake up Rad-daddio posted:There was a long running story(possibly fake) in the confessions thread about a guy who ends up sleeping with his much younger and attractive co worker and his numerous attempts to hide the affair from his wife. Then poo poo gets weird when his mistress ends up befriending his wife and basically spending all of her free time at his house. It was my drug for months. I wonder what happened to that dork. Horny Dad left his wife and moved in with his hot young co-worker and they have amazing sex all the time and everything worked out for the best and his ex-wife and his new girlfriend who is half her age with twice as big of boobs are best friends and it's definitely not weird for his pubescent son, at all, for his dad to be loving some hot girl like 5 years older than he is. A Happy Ending for Everyone, and everyone clapped. (That was, without a doubt, the most boring poo poo ever and I hated every one of those posts. I simply cannot celebrate someone cheating on their wife and allowing some young person to play psycho headgames with them. Those posts were all clearly typed 1-handed. Bug Boy and Therapy Goon were miles better, IMO)
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Feb 14, 2020 18:00
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Yeah I think my all time favorite one shot confession was the wife goon who caught her hubby peeing in the kitchen sink and was considering divorce. Like drat he was trying to not wake you up have some heart.
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Feb 14, 2020 18:27
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Rad-daddio posted:Yeah I think my all time favorite one shot confession was the wife goon who caught her hubby peeing in the kitchen sink and was considering divorce. The real crime is using 4 gallons to flush your 200mLs of dainty piss into our municipal sewer systems
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Feb 14, 2020 18:32
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Got divorced yesterday. I would recommend it. Good stuff. Takes a LONG time in South Carolina. Weird Jesus laws in the bible belt...
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Feb 14, 2020 18:43
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Oh it's valentines day again
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Feb 14, 2020 18:49
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oldpainless posted:I appreciate you eating like six bowls of chili tonight you fat poo poo. Love to look over and see my spouse shallowly breathing like an asthmatic who just ran 2 marathons because they’re so full of chili that they started sweating. Can’t wait for tomorrow when you remark like a loving dumbass that you ate a lot of chili last night with a proud look on your face like a dog that caught it’s own tail in between wondering why you can’t understand where this heartburn came from. Moron. more like oldtactless
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Feb 14, 2020 19:16
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RocktheCaulk posted:Oh it's valentines day again No, it's fine that you drank a bottle of wine by yourself and were glued to your phone all night. I didn't even notice how you had it tilted away from me a little more than normal. It's cool that you went to bed nearly two hours earlier than normal and encouraged me to stay up and watch another movie. It's cool. We've been together for a long time and this is just how things go 
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Feb 14, 2020 19:29
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sweet thursday posted:Also pissing in the sink uses a lot less water. When you wash your hands you can also clean the piss from the sink with the soapy wash. That always pissed me off(haha) about using toilets. We can kill people halfway around the world with remote controlled planes, but we can't have toilets that have one button for pee pee and one button for poo poo? It's not right man.
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Feb 14, 2020 19:33
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Rad-daddio posted:That always pissed me off(haha) about using toilets. ...these exist
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Feb 14, 2020 21:01
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Rad-daddio posted:We can kill people halfway around the world with remote controlled planes, but we can't have toilets that have one button for pee pee and one button for poo poo? 
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Feb 14, 2020 21:15
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YeahTubaMike posted:more like oldtactless more like oldloveless
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Feb 14, 2020 21:35
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YeahTubaMike posted:more like oldtactless What the gently caress Mike
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Feb 14, 2020 21:42
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As I'm in day two of three of the worst vacation I've ever had, instead of posting the litany of offensives, I'll just rhetorically ask: how many vacations have you had where you lost weight? That is, your partner said something so hurtful or upset you so much that you lost your appetite for a meal (or more)? How many times have you gone somewhere different from your same old same old where you were originally excited to try different food or drink a lot but you were so wound up that you stayed in the hotel room by yourself and just sipped water to keep yourself hydrated? I know I said it's a rhetorical question, but my answer is 80% of the time.
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Feb 15, 2020 00:37
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