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Naked Man Punch
Sep 13, 2008

They see me rollin';
they hatin'.
2019 Submission

Throwing in with this idea I’ve had for a while. Lyrics below (and if you’re curious, the final sample is from this killer 1937 blues track: https://youtu.be/3oAMZQpGeiQ)

https://soundcloud.com/user-681498813/mall-santa-blues


“Mall Santa Blues”

Exits to strip malls angled like straps on winter boots. Ice clinging to guardrails and wires, your Mazda pushes itself across white lines. You are going to a mall to ask favors of a man from the North Pole whose real name you don’t know. You drive like the Mazda is running through Bedford Falls on Christmas Eve.

Your FM dial is on and the FM station is spinning the favorite holiday hits and the FM DJ says, “Christmas is for miracles.” So men built Coca-Cola. And men built The Hallmark Channel. And men built The Christmas Tree Shops.

It is 5PM and you are driving to see Santa Claus.

And the FM DJ says, “it is a chilly night out there!” And the FM DJ says, “Your home for the holidays!” And the FM DJ says, “this is a wonderful life here!” But life is not always wonderful, so you are going to a shopping mall. We are all in some way or another going to a shopping mall to make wishes.

And the FM DJ laughs because the FM DJ plays seasonal sounds.

Christmas songs for people filled with cinnamon-sugared love. Christmas songs for people who do not know origin stories – in other words, “kids.” Santa Claus wants all ages to visit him all day, every day. Santa Claus loves everyone.

It is 5PM and you are driving to see Santa Claus.

I am going to Santa Claus because I feel hollow. I am going to Santa because he is the only one who can fix me. He can repair any toy.

And the FM DJ says, “it is 5PM” and “December has come back to us and your feelings for the season may still be complicated. But this year, this year you may figure it all out before the hours become Christmas past.”

It is 5PM and you are driving to see Santa Claus.

You are driving
You are waiting
You are hoping
You are wishing

. . .wishing. . .

for Santa Claus.

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