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Hey guys have you heard about CrossFit? I'm sure your gym is.... okay.... but CrossFit works on the new science of MUSCLE CONFUSION. Yesterday I hit a new personal best at swinging a steel chair at a tire while jumping over an extension cord. I can really feel my body becoming its best self. Afterwards we can go hit up Applebee's and talk about my favorite TV show, Last Man Standing.
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Nov 6, 2019 13:18
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Why yes I am a full grown adult having a speakerphone conversation about a personal medical issue on a public transportation service. Why, yes, I AM going into extremely graphic detail, but don’t worry, I will look at you extremely angrily if you stare!
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Nov 6, 2019 13:30
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I don't belong to any particular gym, OP. I'm a digital nomad, you see. I like to explore the world and meet all kinds of people. I've visited 72 countries and snapped pictures of some of the most exotic animals in the world. Some of them are on the endangered species list. I encourage everyone i meet to leave their comfort zone, sell their house and go wherever the road takes them. When traveling, you realize that deep down we're all the same. If you want tips on how to earn money while on the road, visit my travel blog at https://www.freeblogs.digitalnomad.ng
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Nov 6, 2019 13:31
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I'm American.
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Nov 6, 2019 13:35
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Hi, I'm forums user Who What Now
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Nov 6, 2019 13:39
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I liked this restaurant a lot more when they called them Freedom Fries. What happened to that burger you used to have? The one with the things on it, the.... what do you call them? Excuse me but can you make that burger? I think it was called the Special Burger, or maybe the Super Burger. No, I don't remember what was on it, that's YOUR JOB! I can't believe how the service has gone down here, I guess people really don't care any more. *leaves a massive pile of garbage on the table and leaves no tip, instead writing "PLZ USE THIS AS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE" on the tip line* *logs on to yelp and posts review claiming that the waitress mocked them and said "gently caress TRUMP" before doing a crotch chop and skateboarding away* That'll teach that little BITCH to remember my burger order from 2006.
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Nov 6, 2019 13:39
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I believe I shall make a thread on the SomethingAwful.com forums.
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Nov 6, 2019 13:43
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I turned my monitor off.
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Nov 6, 2019 13:45
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yep, still goons
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Nov 6, 2019 14:13
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im not gay
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Nov 6, 2019 14:17
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Yea boiii, non-native resolution, just the way i like it!
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Nov 6, 2019 14:22
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*enslaves women, rapes his own children, kills every other living creature and reduces the world to a lifeless husk, then kills the women and his children before putting a bullet in his own head due to hosed up brain chemistry telling me to exterminate all life and destroy the world, comes up with ad hoc explanation for why what I did was perfectly normal and the correct thing to do because those impulses didn't feel wrong or unnatural to me*
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Nov 6, 2019 14:23
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Yeah MAGA
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Nov 6, 2019 14:26
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I drive all the way to the end of the merge lane.
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Nov 6, 2019 14:34
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I really wish they hadn't canceled Kevin Can Wait.deedee megadoodoo posted:I drive all the way to the end of the merge lane. This is called the "zipper merge" and is exactly how merging is supposed to work. Doing this actually makes you the best humanity has to offer, because if you do this you don't cause a heinous accordion effect barnold fucked around with this message at 14:41 on Nov 6, 2019 |
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Nov 6, 2019 14:38
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towering over everything is the horrible existential crisis of our severely malfunctioning atmosphere and the ghastly assortment of everyday poo poo that would have been considered outlandishly dystopian in decades past, and is now just part of the tin of assorted shitbiscuits we call life in 2019. poo poo like massive temperature anomalies, and days on end of smoke-choked skies where you can’t see the sun at all, and wondering what a butterfly looks like in the flesh, and vaguely remembering what it looked like to see moths clustered around a streetlight, and poo poo like that. not to mention the mass surveillance complex that now pretty much seems to have wrapped itself around every nation on earth. hell, I’m of no doubt at all that each and every letter I type into this dead gay forum is going off to some data-center somewhere for perusal, most likely by algorithms, but (more onerously) by someone who really doesn’t have any drat business poking around in my personal affairs. hopefully, though, I’m boring them to tears, and maybe even making them wonder why the gently caress we installed this horribly orwellian poo poo in the first place. mind you, as long as there are a whole bunch of clueless millennial phone-staring fuckwits out there who chant that tired old adage of “if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear”, and who can’t remember anything older than a 1997 teletubbies episode, I guess we’re stuck with it OP 
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Nov 6, 2019 14:43
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sandwiches_and_ham posted:towering over everything is the horrible existential crisis of our severely malfunctioning atmosphere and the ghastly assortment of everyday poo poo that would have been considered outlandishly dystopian in decades past, and is now just part of the tin of assorted shitbiscuits we call life in 2019. i'm betting this post was enough to put me on a list 
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Nov 6, 2019 14:45
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Detroit what
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Nov 6, 2019 14:46
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I don't drive just any motorcycle, I drive a screaming loud fart motorcycle, and I drive it at 5am
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Nov 6, 2019 14:50
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Yeah, I've read your script. It's a touching drama addressing the racial and political issues of today that's got "Oscar winner" written all over it. gently caress that, we want you to go and re-write The Goonies to star Adam Sandler and Kevin James.
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Nov 6, 2019 14:51
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I stand on the 'walk' side of the escalator and huff at you if you try to get past or ask me to move
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Nov 6, 2019 14:53
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I see you're having a festival of some kind so I brought my folk dancing troupe. Where can we set up?
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Nov 6, 2019 14:53
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I spike the kids' cup cakes with LSD they all have a pretty good time generally they see fairies and dragons and stuff the parents don't know and if a kid every so often comes crying to momma that the monsters are coming for him the mom will just think it's normal kid antics
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Nov 6, 2019 14:54
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kecske posted:I think "the 'walk' side of the escalator" is a thing despite actual science having demonstrated that people who walk on escalators slow the flow of people down. MAGA.
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Nov 6, 2019 14:57
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i remember when this dead gay forum used to stand for something 
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Nov 6, 2019 14:59
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I'm this guy.
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Nov 6, 2019 15:01
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sandwiches_and_ham posted:i'm betting this post was enough to put me on a list Yeah, the "most paranoid" list.
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Nov 6, 2019 15:03
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I can't figure out how to make a cup of coffee without throwing a plastic k-cup in the trash every single time
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Nov 6, 2019 15:04
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Tiny Tubesteak Tom posted:This is called the "zipper merge" and is exactly how merging is supposed to work. Doing this actually makes you the best humanity has to offer, because if you do this you don't cause a heinous accordion effect Yes, speeding all the way to the very end of the the merge lane, ignoring all possible places where you could have merged normally, then slamming on your brakes in a desperate attempt to get past all the "slow cars" is the definition of good driving. My mistake.
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Nov 6, 2019 15:09
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Yeah, just ketchup. Thanks.
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Nov 6, 2019 15:10
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*very slowly moves shopping cart through the exact middle of the aisle while on the phone, not allowing anyone to move around me* "Yeah Hon you want beans? BEANS. I SAID DO YOU WANT BEANS. I'll get beans. Nah I'm not busy I'm just at the grocery store. Hold on let me just completely stop moving here and then kind of awkwardly back up without looking behind me, I think I walked past the beans."
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Nov 6, 2019 15:12
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I just read your message asking a question with very specific circumstances clearly stated so here let me just reply with something that extra loving doesn't help at all in those circumstances HTH.
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Nov 6, 2019 15:16
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deedee megadoodoo posted:Yes, speeding all the way to the very end of the the merge lane, ignoring all possible places where you could have merged normally, then slamming on your brakes in a desperate attempt to get past all the "slow cars" is the definition of good driving. My mistake. none of those things have anything to do with "driving to the end of the merge lane" you just invented all this dumb bullshit that you didn't say in your original post because you're too stupid to realize that's the right way to merge lol
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Nov 6, 2019 15:19
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You guys don't want a union, okay? They just take some extra money from your pocket. Wouldn't you rather negotiate your salary and benefits directly with me, your manager? That way you know you're getting the best deal possible.
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Nov 6, 2019 15:21
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Stop resisting
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Nov 6, 2019 15:21
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We're a Miracle Whip family
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Nov 6, 2019 15:22
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Hey guys, we ought to get rid of traffic lights and stop signs or ignore them completely. People speeding up, trying to get through on the yellow, slamming on their brakes at the last second or even just outright running the red...….just get rid of all of them. Who cares if they're there for safety or efficiency if an extremely small minority of drivers just blow them?
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Nov 6, 2019 15:30
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I've finally moved to California, where I can take my professional influencer career to a new level. Like and subscribe, follow me on twitter and instagram, don't forget to use this coupon code for your next whale-eyelid soap beauty care surprise box.
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Nov 6, 2019 15:31
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Tiny Tubesteak Tom posted:Hey guys, we ought to get rid of traffic lights and stop signs or ignore them completely. People speeding up, trying to get through on the yellow, slamming on their brakes at the last second or even just outright running the red...….just get rid of all of them. Who cares if they're there for safety or efficiency if an extremely small minority of drivers just blow them? I wish roundabouts were more of a thing in the US.
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Nov 6, 2019 15:38
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Weaponized Autism posted:I wish roundabouts were more of a thing in the US. They're extremely common up here in New England and they own for the most part. When you get to traffic of a certain amount though, they're unwieldy and inefficient as hell because people are either too friendly and stop in the circle or too scared to join the flow of traffic without an ornate and nicely written invitation
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Nov 6, 2019 15:40
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