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Everyone's Favorite    
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Nov 29, 2019 08:03
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 11:54 |
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The cat deity has decreed that all human buildings be converted to feline friendly living spaces with ample plant cover and elevated transit-ways to escape from the biting cold. The cat deity also foresees that much of human territory be restored to wild nature. That is, a cat-world with winter plants, fresh air, light, vegetation and roaming animals. Those cat-men should be required to "stray only at will." These are important developments for the cat-men and a requirement that would fortify the cat-God against all intents and purposes
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Nov 30, 2019 16:10
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Julia Roberts bent over, revealing her enormous gaping anus, which began to speak. This is what it said: "Poor Jason... that was a luscious peach of a woman. [Urination] What a queer thing to do with such a well-oiled oval office of a woman, don't you think, Jason? Even though she's [URINATION]: Slapping her rear end with her (chuckles) forearm. How like a man." Of course, the people on the internet can be pretty harsh when they come to your personal business. However, what was the surprise of the day? Whether or not it's a woman, who let's face it, likes to get a taste of her rear end in a top hat, who the gently caress was it, that filed this?
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Jan 4, 2020 07:05
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Started getting a pretty good sci-fi epic going, but then it got sidetracked by random concepts. In the year 2525, the human population increased seven fold to 8.2 billion. More than half of those people had not yet been born. And the cities of the new world were full of powerful global corporations. In the year 2025, their combined GDP was equivalent to that of the entire country of Canada. Their typical work week was 47 hours, but some made as much as 60. And some of these giants operated the underground base of the Interstellar Authority. This is a story of a man called Brad Barraclough. His name means "love" in the ancient language of the Ancient Laser People. The Ancient Laser People only built fighting robots as a last resort. Every robot they built was supposed to have a finite lifespan and be destroyed when it was put to the test. So, whenever they built a new weapon, they designed it to be suitable for a warzone. Other than constructing weapons that are especially lethal, they also constructed robots for purely symbolic purposes such as ship breakers and wall protectors. However, not all the Ancient Laser People were obsessive about the reliability and longevity of their machines. Some of them gave up on the idea of having a long-term arsenal because there were simply too many weapons they had no idea how to use or repair. Robot Prominence The Ancient Laser People focused their efforts on their own weapon. Robot banks Robot banks, walls, glass windows, and plastic have yet to be embraced. Here's how you can play for one. 3. Indoor drones Drones at a hackathon. I found these at Hack the Bar. 4. Genetically engineered clothing This one will be an eyesore, of course. 5. Sonic systems that allow music to move across the floor This concept was demonstrated at Biotope Tech week, where a music lover could listen to music directly on the carpet. It sounds simple, but there's a problem: It wouldn't be easy to really track the song, which is a potential problem for sound quality and providing cueing.
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Jan 5, 2020 09:35
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In the grim darkness of the year 2020, there is only death. All those who died for the sake of George are dead, and the unknown attacker will slaughter them one by one, until the sun burns out. The survivors gather together for that final funeral, for that last goodbye... but even though it is the end of the world, nothing goes as planned. Everyone's demands are too much for a single man... In the grim darkness of the year 2020, there is only the King to savor the memory of. And we will never forget his glorious deeds
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Jan 5, 2020 11:52
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The real killer of JFK was iced coffee. Did you know that and why? Well here's the scoop! Coffee is prepared by hot water and ice, which melts the 'drip' on the top. In the winter, when the ice melts faster, the 'drip' comes out faster than the 'pour.' Cold coffee made in the summer is 'pour', and it is used for a longer period of time. The bottom line is that coffee is really expensive in the hot summer, so ice sets the prices of our drinks. Icing makes the coffee taste really good, but cold coffee means that I can buy more coffee because there is no ice at all. This 'lens' drives the prices high! When you can buy a hot pitcher of iced coffee for $
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Jan 5, 2020 15:52
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"The Matrix Explained" - If that's the plot, I'm out. In the fourth Matrix movie, Neo will explain the Matrix, which will provide you with the two equations to figure out how it works. The first equation explains how it works. The second equation provides the 2nd Matrix Code . The code is based on the ratio of rows and columns, also known as the Group Matrix . The Group Matrix is an additively controlled rectangular array of cells. Each cell's corners are different from the other corners and there are 18 rows and 18 columns, where the negative numbers represent the outermost and positive numbers the innermost cells of the matrix. There are 84 rows and 84 columns, so the four closest rows are 14 and 84. The Group Matrix works the same as the Group Matrix of
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Jan 5, 2020 15:54
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Iraqis were celebrating in the streets today as Donald Trump announced "my biggest poopie yet" during the news conference. CNN reports: While still interviewing Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif.), Trump set his sights on that magnificent instrument of love — the President of the United States. "The only bad thing about John F. Kennedy was that he was killed in a plane crash," Trump said. "Nobody ever heard of John F. Kennedy, and then he became President." "It's time to move on," Trump added, after declaring the important new fact.
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Jan 5, 2020 16:12
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this one became Woke rather quickly.  The anus doesn't stay open long. It's just a transition area from eating to pooping. When it goes, you poop. That was completely different in the movies." This is about racism, this is about gender inequality. It's about re-appropriating the most famous actor from one movie to another, to steal the best scene from a film that they personally liked. Take away every one of the bad actors, add in the misogyny, add in the rape—there's still a huge portion of the American public that dislikes J.K. Simmons, and nothing says "gentle giant" like attempting to take a scene about a stereotypical, horrible abuser and add an acknowledgment of its exploitative messages. Beyond all of the sexism and racism, the
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Jan 10, 2020 02:45
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Some people have argued against the practice of "grommelstruksong," or "hymns by stray cats." One of the most common objections comes from a scholar who says that the birds are making a deliberate mockery of a sacred and peaceful spiritual practice that some religions have permitted them to perform, especially in the case of Chinggis Khan's cat cat, Khubilai, who performed the ceremony during the reign of Kang-wu's predecessors in the 15th century. Others point out that the birds are a real manifestation of the power of one's karma, or spiritual heritage, and should be understood as a way for a cat to bring good fortune to people. Either way, in recent years, the custom of cat songs has fallen into the dustbin of history,
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Jan 10, 2020 02:51
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I'm having fun inputting the winners of a "Worst Opening Line For A Novel" contest.quote:Her perfectly formed breasts swayed soothingly as I (also a woman, this isn’t a “male gaze” thing) fell in love with them. quote:Truant children mocked Jack Tranton as he walked. He could have easily dispatched them with his military training. But he ignored them. quote:The millennial squirmed, but there was no entitling her way out of the firm grip of reason. She remained in the opening aisle and began to peel puffy orange slices off of the cardboard packaging. She lifted her jar to her lips and gulped.
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Jan 10, 2020 22:18
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????????????
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Jan 11, 2020 06:12
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Oh dear
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Jan 11, 2020 06:56
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Chewbacca dropped the turd of a lifetime. I distinctly remember seeing it pop out of his rear end and see his poo poo fall into a bucket, just like in the Empire Strikes Back. He did not thank me. Not only did he not thank me, he even threw the contaminated poop back into the bucket and laid down. He did not even look up from his bread and was not crying. In fact, I did not see him react at all, and he turned out to be crying the whole time. Can you blame a loving wheezing hamster who has gone three weeks without fiber? Not long after, we all got used to eating fish and vegetables and warmed up to the smell of apples.
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Jan 11, 2020 16:33
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What if frogs were fake? Just a hoax perpetrated by salamanders? Woah. What if this idea was just too weird to check out? For some reason, people seem to believe this is the case. A lot of people have offered this as a reason for the relentless "all frogs are fake" meme, even though it isn't supported by any evidence. "Butt Frogs" are Not Fake The frog pictured above (Pseudopsitta demedestris) does have some similarities to actual frogs. In fact, they're quite similar, even if they have genitalia like snails. In fact, they even look similar to some penises! Frogs can be incredibly shy, especially when provoked. "Butt Frogs" are Not Fake. What are they called? The elongated brown-colored ground beetles are large beetles, often up to 2.5 inches long. They have three pairs of legs and four flattened bodies. Brown-colored ground beetles are also known as Mongolian tarantulas, tarantula mosquitoes, tarantula beetles, and butt frogs. Wikipedia defines "butt frog" as "a small but interesting creature that resembles a frog but is roundish, shaped like a ball, and has two pairs of legs." Wikipedia's article on the subject is fairly comprehensive: It includes what is considered a decent amount of relevant historical data: The term "butt frog" is used by many North American historians, and is believed to have been coined by The term "butt frog" is used by many North American historians, and is believed to have been coined by the late Rear Admiral Henry L. Cameron. In English grammar, the word "butt" is a standard term for the vaginal opening of the female reproductive tract. It was first recorded in an 1839 book by the English medical historian John Lubbock, which used the term butt-fly to refer to the posterior end of the fly and the plug-shaped "butt-hole" in the parotid gland. A French writer named Bonnfonneau is credited with creating the term buttfornier for the pelvic cavity. That anatomical term butt(fo)lin(n)ier has evolved into the English term butt hole, butt f**kin Men's Hypothermia One method of getting hard, dangerous, and painful for yourself if you don't want to have sex with anyone. Men's Hypothermia One method of getting hard, dangerous, and painful for yourself if you don't want to have sex with anyone. If your partner doesn't have the slightest clue why you were so cold, you can tell him by yelling "gently caress you!" over and over. When you do this, your hot body will freeze even more. Failure to provide. A significant part of male chastity is preventing oneself from allowing yourself to be used sexually. If you haven't tried locking your cock up before, you should at least try getting on it for a bit. The cock in lock will be a lot bigger than it was while out in the world, so feel free to experiment with size. If you Squatch Ambassador fucked around with this message at 07:46 on Jan 14, 2020 |
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Jan 14, 2020 07:41
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quote:How to look after a cat
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Jan 14, 2020 11:36
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Help, I can't stopquote:Starring: Nicholas Cage, Mads Mikkelsen, Jerry Seinfeld
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Jan 14, 2020 12:17
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quote:Starring: Nicholas Cage, Mads Mikkelsen
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Jan 14, 2020 12:20
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i tried to get it to generate some hemingway, with mixed results. PHIL SPECTOR A novel by Ernest Hemingway Chapter 1. It was already dusk, and Phil admitted to himself that he'd made a grievous error. Not only had he gotten drunk and driven back to the house, but he'd failed to bring enough money to bail him out. Not that there was much choice. The house had been in foreclosure since February last, and the bank had been demanding a $1,500 cash deposit just to hold it. It hadn't looked good. Phil had just gotten back from his second night of drinking, and he'd barely been able to scrape together enough to get the money. The house still wasn't up to spec, so a few weeks ago someone had offered him a month's rent in exchange for an extra month on the lease. That had been enough, but Phil was still broke, and the rent wouldn't be enough until he paid the rest of the rent, the insurance, and finally the taxes. The last one had been $600, and Phil had only been paying $300 a month, so it still wouldn't be enough to get them out of the hole. Still, it was better than losing everything. "I'll try to get more cash together," he told himself, trying the door handle again. "I can't stay here. No one can. We'll figure something out when I get to the bank." It took a while to get out the money he still had to pay for the house, but finally he came back out, and the first thing he noticed was that there were no signs of life in the house. It looked as if someone had been up there the past few days, and the lights were on, though none of the windows were open or anything. There were some empty beer cans all around the living room, and it appeared that someone had been drinking there. "Well?" Phil asked, stepping around the corner to the front door. "I'm sorry about the mess. But I have to leave. It's time for me to do something useful." He stepped back and looked around, his face still wet with tears. "If only there were someone left." He stepped back and looked around again. He could hear a voice, a low voice. "Phil, you're not leaving." Phil looked around. Not anyone there. The voice was deep, but his eyes didn't move, and he heard nothing but the dull thumps of the floorboards. Phil was frozen. What was there? He had to get out of here! He turned on the light and went on his way. When he reached the sidewalk he turned back again to look. This time there was nothing there. He stepped into a cab, but the driver was already looking at him as if he were a freak. "Hey, what's up? You don't sound like yourself. Why did you call this place?" "Nothing," Phil lied, then looked at the door on the corner of the street. It was unlocked, and he pushed it open as far as it would go. No one could be inside. He went on his way, then opened the door on the front of the house, and saw nothing but a kitchen. The house had never looked so clean. There was no sign of life there except for the light from one of the windows shining through the blinds. He stepped into the kitchen, walked over to the fridge, and started looking. The door was unlocked, the light on. It opened to reveal only a sink and a cupboard, as well as a chair and a couple of chairs. There was nothing behind the door, nothing else to see, but a chair. Phil looked at the chair. It looked as if someone had sat down there and gone to sleep. It was cold and empty. He moved the cupboard further to the left. He found nothing there. He moved the chair to the right, and found nothing else. Finally, he opened the front door. It was wide and open, and there was nothing there. He sat on the chair and stared up at the house. It looked like it had always been like this, but nothing was behind it. Nothing was outside it. Then the door opened, and a woman was leaning against it, holding a tray with two plates on it. She was dressed casually, with a scarf and a black coat on, but there was no sign that anyone else was at home. She looked up in surprise at Phil, and then looked away again. "Phil?" "Oh, it's you," Phil said. He got up and walked over to her. He sat down on the chair, and pulled his coat off. "It's me." He looked at the food. "I was wondering if you could put some breakfast down on my tray?" "Well, I'm not sure if the microwave'd be able to make any more food this time of day. I've got to be at work in a minute, so I won't be able to." "No worries about that. Let me have some." "Thanks. Now, you said something about your daughter?" "She's not here." "I'm sorry. I was just thinking I would bring your breakfast to her as well as to me." "No problem." He looked up at the ceiling, then back down at the plate. "I wonder what she's doing here, and she's so quiet." "Maybe she's still at school. I've never seen her since the day I told you I was leaving." "Oh." Phil got up, and got to his feet, and turned to look at her, and she looked back, and he turned again, and they continued to gaze at each other. Then, Phil stopped walking, and looked back again. "I think I'm going to go have a look around," he told her. "Okay," she said. She picked up the tray, and went back to work, and Phil sat back down on the chair. He turned, and looked out the window. It was a very cool day, and the street was deserted now. The light reflected off the streets, and he could see the lights in the houses. He looked up again at the light. "I wonder what the kids are doing out here." "Oh, they're playing in the street." Phil stood, and turned back to look at her. "I wonder if anyone's been around lately. I mean, there doesn't seem to be anyone else." "I wouldn't know anything of the sort," she said. She leaned back on the seat, and looked up at Phil. "I don't think so. I'm sure they're all in their rooms at this time of day." "You're sure?" "Yeah," she told him. "I'm just wondering, because it's not like you or anyone else to do something like that, unless you're just not looking." "Okay. I'll check on it." He stood from the chair, then turned and walked down the aisle, and up the stairs to the front door, and opened it. He saw her, sitting by the door in plain clothes, with her hair pulled in a ponytail. He stepped out of the car and opened the front door, then stepped out. She walked past him, and closed the front door before he could close it behind her. Then she walked straight to the wall in the hallway, and turned to face him. She looked up at him, and her eyes were blue again. It reminded him of his mother, who used to be blue, until one day she lost her hair, and she was now blonde. "I'm so glad you're here," she said, as he took her hand. "Yeah, I'm glad you're here too," he told her, as she squeezed his hand. "Well, I'm sorry I was late. I was thinking about something that's happened. It's really kind of embarrassing. I'm going to go back to my room, and I hope I won't be caught." He stepped through the hall to his room, then turned back to her in the doorway. "I really think you should go to your room," he said. "I think this is all a bad dream. I really think you should go to your room, and I'm sorry I was late." He felt bad. She was standing there, and he felt bad that he had come all this way to ask her to go to her room. But he didn't want her to go to her room, he just wanted her to go. "Yeah, I don't think I'll see your face again, and I really think I'll be able to sleep now," she told him. "I really wish I had the chance to sleep. I really think I'll be able to sleep now." Her eyes were still blue. "Well, you won't be able to sleep till I see your face next time I get the chance," he told her. "I really really think you should go to your room. I really really think you should go to your room, and I'll be here to give you the chance to sleep again. I really really really want to sleep again. I really really really want to sleep." "Okay. Well, I really hope I'll see your face next time," he told her. "I really really hope I won't be caught." "Yeah, I think it's a good idea," she told him. "Well, just remember, you're the one who came all the way here to give me the chance to sleep again, so you really, really should go to your room." "Okay," he told her. "Well, I really really hope I'll see your face next time," he told her. "I really really really think I won't be caught." "Yeah, I think it's a good idea," she told him. "I really really really want to sleep again. I really really really want to sleep again." She put her hand on his arm and walked back through the hallway to her room. He watched her as she walked back in, and he felt so bad that he was the one who had come all the way here to ask her to go to her room, and so he really really really hoped he wouldn't be caught. He really, really wanted to sleep. He really, really wanted to sleep. He really, really wanted to sleep. ---
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Jan 18, 2020 18:43
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quote:I jammed a toy race car up my rear end
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Jan 24, 2020 23:03
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 11:54 |
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!!! "Whore' ^c. Sock doesn't wear a make-up. Sock is smart as a whip. Socks, scuffs, stomps, knocks the skulls in. Sock-pitted are fools. Spare the rod; ask for the penny. He who never misses is a dead man. I do not hit the buck, I am the buck. Play good health, ye shall live long. He who never hurts a flea kills a flea. He who does not desire to be kissed is always greeted by a kiss. Those who cannot cross the point are not to be envied. Let the devil take the snake. He whose dog does not bark at his teeth is in a parlour. All men may drink
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Jan 25, 2020 05:39
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