|
Dear friends, as you should have inferred from the sense of creeping dread mounting in your lymphatic system, or understood from the global print and multimedia advertising campaign designed to reach your demographic specifically, the time has come once again for us to attempt to actuate one anothers' Manchurian Candidate programming by sending various words, objects, and images to one another through the postal or parcel service of our choosing. While past years have indicated that said programming primarily involves us enjoying the item in question and relating that experience in this thread, we remain hopeful that one of these years we will immanentize the eschaton and be spirited away to the dingy nightclub of our dreams forever. this primitive rendering is the first known representation of Santa. What's All This Then This is Something Awful Secret Santa 2019, a tradition that has been going for I don't know how long, wherein you visit a website and sign up and prove you're an SA member and then get assigned another SA member to exchange messages, objects, How does it work? What if I don't like what my unknown programming turns me into? You will sign up at the website linked herein using your exact SA username but (preferably, it's not like it'll know) not your SA password. You then verify both your email address and SA profile as belonging to you, and then at the appointed time (Erster Advent  ) you will be assigned a goon to send items to, as well as one that will send items to you, and they will probably not be the same person.Speaking of which, if you are reprogrammed you will be a different person then and your opinions of today will no longer apply, so don't worry about it. Can I remain anonymous? You can remain anonymous to your santee. Your santa must of course know who you are. Please sir, I have eaten only steam the past fort-night, and international shipping is so very expensive. That's okay, you can choose to ship only in-country. This does increase the chances of being unable to assign you per your preferences, in which case I'll email you and we'll sort it out. My local mail carrier is a brute of a man who says he will not carry nor deliver mail for me until I deliver unto him 5 fire beetle carapaces from his mother's basement as she is infirm- Do I look like a main character to you? gently caress outta here. that said, anything you can tell your santa (once messaging is available) about ways they can ensure your package actually reaches you if that's difficult somehow is good. Following an accident at a chemical weapons plant I no longer have any sense of imagination. What should I send? Whatever bees or bee products you think your recipient will enjoy. You should expect to receive something worth between 0 and 20 dollars: SASS is not a means tested enterprise, and it is the thought that counts. Can I send something worth more than $20? Sure, but see above about keeping your expectations regarding what you will receive reasonable. Can I send something handmade? YES. PLEASE DO. My santee got banned! Not from SASS they didn't, though exceptions are made if they're real shitbags or maybe if they got permad. Contact me about it if you have Doubts Flat rate packaging is an aesthetic crime and I will not be complicit in it You stand on the shoulders of goons of christmas past, who in their wisdom thought to https://i.imgur.com/PTqJscN.png I just scrolled past all that garbage, how do I sign up? https://sass.operationcitadel.net/ - but I strongly urge you to at least read all the words *there*. It's all good advice, you'll have a better time if you understand what's happening. I will be moving during the holiday season. What address should I put? Users are encouraged to send their items no later than Dec 14, so, wherever you'll be after that. Thanks! Thank you :* I have another question you haven't answered, or I have an announcement that belongs in the OP. Cool, contact me. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN. Long story! Sorry! Better late than never! Stay tuned for christmas miracles, you never know tiaz fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Nov 13, 2019 |
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 06:25
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:00 |
|
|
Oh, Yes! Dear Santa I am a 57 year old science teacher. I like science stuff. A lot. Also science books, science toys, and any other science-related material. If you happen to have a spare Large Hadron Collider lying around, and you were not sure what to do with it, I think it would make a great gift! I also like art supplies, and collect things like fountain pens and fossils. If you could find a fossilized fountain pen, my life would be complete. Mrs. Genesplicer and I also like regional things, particularly foods. Our dogs and cats don't give a poo poo, generally speaking, but will occasionally raise an eyebrow for pet-related materials. Dear Santee I'm not sure who or what you are. But stalking you (in a completely innocent, non-creepy way) should provide me with some information. In any event, I shall send you something that is almost, but not quite, completely unlike what you were expecting. And since bees are still in short supply, I've had to switch to slugs. Expect slugs. Lots and lots of slugs. Genesplicer fucked around with this message at 07:00 on Nov 14, 2019 |
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 06:29
|
|
|
Mine is a Betamax vcr. That’s my gift. To whoever wants it.
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 06:36
|
|
|
Hmmmm this could be neat. Gotta find the perfect gift from Japan. Perhaps an anime body pillow?
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 07:37
|
|
|
But how does the website know Lowtax's password and also have links to DHS? 
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 07:48
|
|
|
 Info about me - Married Gentlegoon, with 4 daughters ages 7, 5, 3, 1. They got amazing local sweeties and kawaii from Japan last year, and they loved drinking foam out of a toilet. So, local candies always goes down a treat with them. Oodles fucked around with this message at 00:01 on Nov 13, 2019 |
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 08:28
|
|
|
Signing up for the first time, here we go! Edit: Dear Santa, I'm a 26 year old Master's student for computer science. I like birds, cats, and chocolate, and I have a ton of hobbies. I do a lot of digital art, am working on a game of my own on the side, and sometimes write stories or technical articles. For fun I like to play games (pc, switch, tabletop), watch movies with my friends, or occasionally go play billiards. I know there is a great temptation to send dildos and the likes, but I would appreciate it if you could restrain yourself, at least this one time. Thank you in advance! Dear Santee, I hope you like Swiss sweets and other local goods and trinkets, as well as self-made stuff! Shinmera fucked around with this message at 23:42 on Dec 1, 2019 |
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 10:07
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 11:18
|
|
|
O hi
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 11:19
|
|
|
  Assistant Elf Fluffy Bunnies Reporting Let No Goon Go Ungifted. Re-Sass will return January 22nd, 2020 for those deemed unloved. Assuming we need it. We must always hope that we don't.
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 12:03
|
|
|
You all deserve some lovely gifts.
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 12:09
|
|
|
Is there some way to indirectly ask the target about stuff they don't like or would like especially to make sure the present isn't wasted?
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 12:26
|
|
|
How did you know my password is hunter2?
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 12:49
|
|
|
Hell yeah. I've taken a few years off due to sad brains but I'm finally feeling human again. I hope my santee likes weird poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 14:19
|
|
|
 My favorite time of year!
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 14:26
|
|
|
Shinmera posted:Is there some way to indirectly ask the target about stuff they don't like or would like especially to make sure the present isn't wasted? There's usually an anonymous messaging system you can use.
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 14:28
|
|
|
The last time I did a goon-related SS I sent my santee a pretty graphic/gross anime body pillow and a plain white T-shirt that had DUBSTEP printed on it in block letters. My santee responded by sending me a picture of him burning the anime body pillow in a bonfire. Good times. Edit: Also I'm pretty sure his mom saw the pillow. Frank Frank fucked around with this message at 14:50 on Nov 12, 2019 |
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 14:43
|
|
|
YES.  
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 14:59
|
|
|
Yes! SASSMAS is here! Love this time of the year, this year especially so as I had some bad luck lately so I can't wait for the Christmas cheer.. signing up! Santa: please do not send me anything nsfw or 420 related. Other than that, I am a 31 year old woman from the land of cheese and tulips. I live with my boyfriend and cat. I would love to receive some local food stuff/candy if possible, I have no known allergies. I also like sports, some nerdy things like LotR, Harry Potter and GoT. Santee: I hope you like random stuff!
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 15:08
|
|
|
WindowLiquor posted:Yes! SASSMAS is here! Love this time of the year, this year especially so as I had some bad luck lately so I can't wait for the Christmas cheer.. signing up! Anime body pillow it is.
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 15:11
|
|
|
:3 Please message me on the SASS site! peanut fucked around with this message at 11:48 on Nov 24, 2019 |
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 15:59
|
|
|
I'm in as well, third time's the charm, as they say. Thanks tiaz! Santa: Surprise me, I have no preferences whatsoever. 31 year old man from Europe, live alone, but my girlfriend would probably be excited to get something as well  Santee: You will get chocolate for sure, but be prepared for anything.
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 16:27
|
|
|
This is awesome. I'm in!
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 16:53
|
|
|
registered! shopping for SASS gifts is more fun than shopping for most of my family
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 17:02
|
|
|
Wouldn't miss it for the world. This will be my 8th ...ish SASS! Happy holidays to everyone and I hope you all receive proportional amounts of holiday cheer, within your respective allotments.
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 17:54
|
|
|
Signed up again! Been doing so for a few years...I think.
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 18:48
|
|
|
I lost my job, but that doesn't mean I lost my Christmas Spirit! It's just crushed and broken. Santee will be receiving remnants of such. I hope you like candied pecans and crushed glass.
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 20:47
|
|
|
Mmmmm, yeeeeesssssss... I was just thinking about SASS this morning....
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 21:23
|
|
|
I am down for this again. Fashionably Great posted:I hope my santee likes weird poo poo. This is all I want.
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 22:00
|
|
|
awwwwwwyiiiiiissssssssss i'm in I legitimately had a phone reminder set to go off tomorrow morning to remind me to go check if SASS was up, but decided to check early and here we are!
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 22:31
|
|
|
Santee: TIME TO UNLEASH THE BEES!! I'm so excited! Dear Santa, I'm married, have three kids, two dogs, and a cat. I'm mostly into The Aquabats!, RiffTrax/MST3K (and by extension really lovely movies), these little Transformers called BotBots, and booze. Outside of that, I just like weird/funny stuff. Handmade stuff is always awesome. All I ask is that you don't send me beer. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 22:42
|
|
|
Year number 3! This I'm really excited to see what I get this year, and hopefully my Santee likes what I send them.
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 22:43
|
|
|
THIRD SASSMAS!!!! WOOO!!! GONNA JAM SOME HOLIDAY CHEER RIGHT DOWN SOME GOON'S OPEN GAPING CHIMNEY!!!!! WOOOO!!!!!Who What Now posted:Year number 3! This I'm really excited to see what I get this year, and hopefully my Santee likes what I send them. THIRD SASSMAS BUDDY!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2019 23:39
|
|
|
Hope you like smoked fish and hobo wine, santee.  Hi Santa. I like fishing, cooking, lovely movies, interesting local snacks and candies, anarchist propaganda prints from the Spanish civil war, pens, notebooks, and things like that. I don't care about superheroes, anime, star wars, funko pops, dr who, and things like that. Handmade stuff is always better than storebought! A Pack of Kobolds fucked around with this message at 19:08 on Nov 19, 2019 |
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2019 00:49
|
|
|
I'm in for my sixth year of SASSMas! And the SASS site worked liked a charm right out of the gate this time. I'll edit this post for my Santa sometime later, but as for my Santee... ... get excited. Edit: ... and now the stuff for my Santa and Santee! Hey Santa! You're stuck with me this year! Sorry about that, but hey... I'm a pretty easy-going guy, so it should be pretty simple for you. In fact, this info is pretty much a repost of last year's SASS post. It is super straightforward to find out details about who I am amongst all of the info in my SA profile, my website, and my posting history. I've also been pretty quick to respond to the SASS messaging in the past, so feel free to use that to get some details from me if you need to. I study retrogaming hardware as a hobby, so if you happen to have a few SNES cartridges sitting around that you don't want, this is your golden opportunity to get rid of them! Aside from that, feel free to send anything simple (coffee mugs, Christmas ornaments, local university stuff, etc.) that shows off landmarks or cities local to where you live. I also like to receive any handmade things that will remind me in the years to come of my very nice SASS 2019 Santa who is a very thoughtful person (and who would definitely never show up at my house to stab me and my family in our faces). Wait, did I say I have a family? I did! I have a wife, a 13 year-old daughter, a cat, a Corgi, and a Cavalier:    Because they are all also going to be checking out any gifts that you send, please don't send any NSFW stuff! All of them have to live with me, and that is already traumatizing enough for them as it is without bringing NSFW packages from the internet into the mix. Hey Santee! I will do what I can to make this a good SASSmas for you! My track record is pretty good in this regard, and it will be even better if you post what you want in the goddamn thread. I also try to get in touch with my Santees really quickly via the SASS site after the assignments go out. hendersa fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Nov 30, 2019 |
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2019 00:58
|
|
|
hendersa posted:I'm in for my sixth year of SASSMas! And the SASS site worked liked a charm right out of the gate this time. I'll edit this post for my Santa sometime later, but as for my Santee... I'm already excited!   Does anyone still have the video some goon made years ago where they pretend to mail their cat to their santee? That was truly magical and I definitely no longer have the link, but it deserves to be preserved as part of SASS lore.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2019 04:00
|
|
|
tiaz posted:I'm already excited! Straight from SASS 2014: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1TdvNp2B0A https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZC47wUi2Wec
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2019 04:42
|
|
|
I’m fuckin in like flint. I think this is year 9, or 8 or something. My aging(36 ) year old brain is tired and who’s counting anyway. Ok 1st thanks tias! You rock. Second, married with a Scottie dog for a son. 3rd. Send whatever makes you feel good and full of Christmas cheer, I don’t have kids or a sense of decorum so do you. Fourth: merry sassmas! I don’t post a lot, but think of it like a blank slate! Thanks Santa, yours truly, Jake
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2019 04:50
|
|
|
My Shoes posted:This is awesome. I'm in! I mean, you say that, but you haven't registered, at least under this name. If you want in hie thee to https://sass.operationcitadel.net/ and follow the prompts! Posting in the thread is not sufficient to get assigned. hendersa posted:Straight from SASS 2014:  thank you! do you know who made them? was it you 
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2019 07:07
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:00 |
|
|
If you care to publish, how many goons typically sign up for this every year? Any notable changes in activity, given we are dead and gay and stuff?
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2019 12:20
|
|