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wheres my beer
Apr 29, 2004


Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty


Fun Shoe



Holy poo poo it's 2019! We're at the end of the 2010' and somehow survived last year's post apocalypse waste land. Of course, the Glocktopuses invaded and kinda run the show but its cool. They just wanna be your friend and give us hugs and poo poo. Also, did you know male Glocktopuses have a mating arm which is used to deliver semen to their prospective mates? The more you know.

In the spirit friendly tentacle relations with our new tentacle overlords, it's time for the 2019 TFR Tentaclemas Secret Santa! The rules are more or less and gag gifts are for the good of the order.

Just as last year, we're gonna do things using the google docs and some spreadsheetz or whatever. I'm still working it out.

2019 TFR Secret Santa Rules
  • No Lurkers/n00bs - Lurkers are defined as 10 posts or less in TFR, and 20 posts or less in the past year. Newbies are defined as joined in the past six months, although exceptions will be made if someone can vouch for you that way we can ban them too
  • Be an active forum member so we have something to loving work with
  • REGISTRATION CLOSES 11/22 AND RALPHIES WILL BE DISTRIBUTED ON 11/24
  • Ralphies (Gift Getters) - YOU MUST POST AT LEAST ONCE THANKING YOUR SANTA. Pictures, especially fun pictures are encouraged.
  • Ralphies (Gift Getters) - Give your santas something to work with or be loving happy with what you get
  • Ralphies (Gift Getters) - If you don't want a box of skydiving scat porn mark NO on the NWS STUFF questions
  • Santas (Gift Givers) - DO NOT DISCLOSE WHAT YOURE GETTING YOUR RALPHIE
  • Santas (Gift Givers) - Gag gifts are strongly encouraged but do not contribute to the total valuation of your gift
  • Santas (Gift Giers) - Sex toy/gag gifts must be brand loving new. I don't wanna be responsible for a Hep C outbreak because someone put a used buttplug in their nose
  • Deadbeats will be fed to the octowolves banned from future presentation. If you have a sudden life and cannot send out rad l00t CONTACT ME RIGHT AWAY so we can work with you.
  • Minimum Gift Value - $50. Not including gag gifts or shipping
  • Secret Santa Package should include a reasonable amount of firearms related stuff
  • NO Bees, Bears, Jars of Cum or anything else that would be considered dangerous or hazardous you might wanna read up on shipping liquor if that's in the cards too
  • NO ILLEGAL ITEMS FOR THE RECIPIENT - If you're gonna send something to someone, make sure it's legal where they are. That means no high cap mags or flippy things that go up for New Yorkers
  • Gifts must be delivered by Christmas Morning. If you're in the CONUS and your Ralphie is in the CONUS you gotta get that poo poo in USPS Priority no latter than December 20th
  • Avoid drop shipping - contact me for further guidance on circumstances where dropshipping is ok but the whole loving point is you touched this loot and added to the whole package
  • Retain proof of shipment until your Ralphie posts. Just in case the SkiFree Yeti eats your postal carrier and you need to file a claim. Also helps prove you're not a deadbeat. Also insure that poo poo.
  • HAVE FUN. If you are incapable of having fun then this probably isn't for you
  • No Miso Beno's Allowed. Keeps the whole thing fair.

How To Register
Step 1: Post in this thread, about how god damned excited you are to be doing this poo poo. Also, use and edit this post to cover all of your wants and desires. I will be linking to this post to point your Ralphie towards your wants and desires.
Step 1a: REGISTRATION CLOSES 11/22 AND RALPHIES WILL BE DISTRIBUTED 11/24. YOU FUCKS BETTER MOVE FAST
Step 2: Draft an email to tfrsecretsanta2019@gmail.com with Christmas Tentacles and your forums name in the subject line
Step 2a: In the body include your forums name, real name, and a link to your post in this thread because im loving lazy
Step 3: Fill out the sexy Google Form I send you
Step 4: Acquire a minimum of $50 in baller swag for your Ralphie
Step 5: Ship baller swag to your Ralphie and provide your tracking information to me so I can relay it to them
Step 6: Receive bacon swag from your Santa and make a loving amazing post thanking them
Step 7: Santas may reveal themselves at this time if they are so inclined. Or keep it a mystery if you're into that ghost poo poo.

How Do Ship Package?
If you're in the US and not shipping anything huge, full of ammo, alcohol, or guns then USPS is probably your best bet. Their flat rate boxes are free, and if you ship online, they come with an automagic $50 worth of insurance.

Shipment Deadlines for CONUS Users
USPS Priority 3-Day: 12/20
UPS Ground: 12/14
FedEx Ground: Lol. 12/13

I HOPE YOUR STUFF IS IN FLIGHT

International Users
If we have any international users I'll ask for volunteers willing to deal with international shipping or something. Please don't feel excluded sexy Europeans and Canadians, we'll get something going. Just make sure I"m *very* aware you're not in the US of A.

REGISTRATION CUT OFF
REGISTRATION CLOSES ON 11/22/2019
REGISTRATION IS CLOSED


Continued Below

wheres my beer fucked around with this message at 08:51 on Dec 22, 2019

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wheres my beer
Apr 29, 2004


Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty


Fun Shoe

FAQ

When Can I Open My Loot?
That's up to you! Some folks have zero self-control and can't wait to get hands-on with a box full of live bees open, others like to play a spicy game and open up a box that contains hundreds of hand-carved hardwood dong statuettes lathered in vintage whale cum in front of their family on Christmas morning. Whenever you choose to open your gift, make sure you honor your Secret Satan and take lots of loving photos. Oh and make it fun. More fun more better. Also, don't accidentally doxxx yourself and definately do not dox your Secret Satan.

How Thoroughly Should I Inspect My Loot?
Very. Check every piece of dunnage cos goons are really good at hiding poo poo and also really good at not checking poo poo.

Help! I love TFR but don't really need a ton of gun stuff/booze/cigars/knives/socks.
That's OK! Let your Ralphie know you're not really looking to expand your pile of gun stuff. Let them know that you're good on most firearms related things/dont drink/smoke cigars, and give them an out like a milsurp hat or some sweet stickers to keep things TFR-y.

How are Ralphies and Santas Assigned?
Google Sheets and I will handle random assignments. If we have enough to build international positive users they'll get their own spreadsheet. I weight user assignments based on relative post count to keep people paired with like-utilization people, but we'll see. I have a day job and am a lazy fuckface.

HELP! My I need to ask my Ralphie a question about stuff!
Email me at tfrsecretsanta2019@gmail.com so I can be your sexy go-between and keep your rear end anonymous.


HELP! My Ralphie is Vauge Posting!
Let me know you're having trouble dialing into your Ralphie's desires and I'll prod them for more clarity. If that doesn't then get them to give you some answers then I dunno, i guess get them the gun equivalent of socks like a cleaning kit or a CRKT knife I guess.

I don't know what's legal in my Ralphie's State/City/Geographic Bioregion!
Let me know and I'll reach out to your Ralphie to find out whats what, or we can work on that problem together.

What if I want to spend more than $50????
DO IT. It's a price floor not a price maximum. That said, don't get your panties in a bunch if you receive exactly $50 in poo poo but spent $450 on your Ralphie. That's not how this loving works. The price was picked because it's something attainable to most Goons and I don't want someone to feel bad because they had to way stretch their budget.

Can I send a second shipment that arrives after Baby Jesus Day if my supplemental/gag gifts aren't going to arrive in time?
You sure can! I have no problem with supplemental and gag gifts arriving a little late. In fact they're kind of a neat surprise bonus. If your PRIMARY gift is gonna be late tho, contact me ASAP so we can figure out whats what.


HELP MY DOG/JOB/WIFE/MONEY GOT EATEN BY A SHARK AND I CANT AFFORD TO BE IN THE SECRET SANTA ANYMORE!!
If you have an emergency loving GET AHOLD OF ME so we can work it out. These things usually have enough people involved that SOMEONE has a major life event that makes $50 go from a reasonable amount of money to OH poo poo I CANT EAT THIS MONTH. I have a contingency for but I need to know about your circumstances as soon as you can reasonably make me aware of your circumstances.

Do you have the links to the older threads?
2018 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2017 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2016 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2015 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2014 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2013 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2012 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2011 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2010 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2009 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2008 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2007 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2006 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2006 TFR Secret Santa Loot Thread
2005 TFR Secret Santa Thread
2005 I don't loving know what this is


What's a good format for expressing my interests?

Here's what I did last year and it seemed to work?

quote:

post in thread (will update shortly)

WHAT ARE YOU INTO THESE DAYS MISO BENO????
I still do picture taken and roll with a Nikon F mounted whatchyahooset. Also, I got bitten real hard by the hunting bug and have made some serious progress with the home shop so those are ravenous hobbies that consume much of my attention. Of course, fitness is a thing I pay attention to, and long range shooting but I kind of feed those hobbies myself since they're super personal. The list below should give you an idea of what I'm looking for but it is 100% not something you need to shop directly off of. My intent is to give you a taste of my hobbies and what's currently on my list(s).


WHAT DO I WANT
HUNTING STUFF
Good hunting slings
Gerber Vital non-folding changeable blade knife
Warm blaze orange hats/stocking caps

GUN STUFF
Beretta 71a wood grips
P7PSP Wood Grips

Medical Stuff
I always have expiring medical stuff that needs replacement so the following are welcome
Gauze
Quick Clot
H Bandages
fun bandaids (I just ran out of Disney band-aids)
condoms

SHOP STUFF
Endmills
Mill fixturing
Dial gauges
Good files (all of the files) including 20lpi checkering files if you're feeling generous
Good quality wood working tools, doing some home repairs and wanna dabble with furniture. (japanese wood cutting saw are so sexy)


Reloading Stuff
6.5 140 grain ELD-X Projectiles
6.5x55 brass
6.5 Norma brass
45 ACP MOON CLIP STUFF

OTHER NOT GUN STUFF IM INTO
Canning specific supplies (lids, pectin, etc)
Brewing/Fermenting Supplies (your favorite yeast strain, starsan, a new carboy, etc)
Regional meades, and ciders (you did super good last year mister santa)
I have two dogs four chickens and two cats (No rawhide like stuff tho)
Regional meat (shelf stable of course)
Starting to play with arduinos and small electronics stuff
Your local coffee (medium roast whole bean supremacy)
Barbell. I do barbell workouts. If you could somehow get a barbell to my door for $50 without killing yourself on shipping that would be the BEST.
A fanny pack that wont flop around and can hold my pistol, phone, and some dog treats for running (KINDA GAY FOR ORANGE)

WHAT DO I NOT WANT
I have lots of PPE for shooting and nonshooting related activities (except smoke and clear safety glasses aviators. i do want those)
Shirts. I have lots of shirts.
Cheap or kitschy gun stuff. Im in the middle of cleaning my house and trying to up the level of quality of stuff i own so please no UTG/Tapco grade stuff. I don't mean to be picky, I'd just feel bad if i had to goodwill/gunshow something I just got

Here's some code you can copy to DIY it yourself:

code:
[b]WHAT ARE YOU INTO THESE DAYS [INSERT USER NAME HERE]???[/b]
Give us a little elevator pitch of where you've taken your gun-having hobby and life here. It's space to talk about your future goals, other hobbies, pets, fetishes, and interests. 


[b]WHAT DO I WANT[/b]
[b]Category 1 Of Stuff I'm Into[/b][list]
[*]Item 1
[*]Item 2
[*]Item 3
[/list]

[b]Category 2 Of Stuff I'm Into[/b][list]
[*]Item 1
[*]Item 2
[*]Item 3
[/list]

[b]Category 3 Of Stuff I'm Into[/b][list]
[*]Item 1
[*]Item 2
[*]Item 3
[/list]

[b]WHAT DO I NOT WANT[/b][list]
[*]Item 1
[*]Item 2
[*]Item 3
[/list]
What Happens if I Say Yes to International Stuff?
By saying yes, you are volunteering to ship Ralphie-loot globally and eat those shipping charges also to receive international stuff and all of the customs/extended shipping timelines that.. that entails. If you've never shipped internationally before this probably isn't a good time to get started with it. That said, I'll try to keep people within Europe shipping to each other but if there's an odd number, some "lucky" US person will have to take up the slack. Europeans - if you want to ship outside of the schengen area/your continent let me know so I can set you up with someone, otherwise I'll probably pair you with a European of some sort.

Oh yeah and obey all laws. Don't go breaking waterfalls the law.

Who made that sweet Glocktapus?
Me. I made that sweet Glocktapus.

Why do you ask for a link to my post in the thread twice?
So I know you have it and can enter it into the form correctly which saves me A LOT OF loving EFFORT down the road.

WHO IS PARTICIPATING??
  • Infrared35
  • ZebraBlade
  • mischief
  • Tyro
  • Shima Honnou
  • Comfy Sponk
  • Sten Freak
  • Fearless
  • The Eyes Have It
  • Captain Log
  • Ophidian
  • shaocaholica
  • armorer
  • shalafi4
  • Fhistleb
  • Atticus_1354
  • Target Practice
  • SpartanIvy


BONUS SECRET SANTANA COMPETITION

Y'all are so loving fantastic, I've been inspired to create a BONUS Secret Santana Competition! I will be giving away FOUR custom etched TFR Secret Santana 17oz TulAmmo Stainless Steel Bullet Bottle Things for the following (subject to change) categories.

    Prize Categories
  • Best in Loot Packaging
  • Best in Bonus Loot
  • Best in De-packaging
  • Best in Loot Presentation

How Selection Works
I am the Supreme Murderclaus and Keeper of the Ultimate Naughty List so it is my right to choose who wins based on an arbitrary and secret list of criteria whatever I think is loving awesome.

I have CONCERNS about...
I shipped early /opened my loot early and am totally getting hosed on participating
Sorry! I literally had this idea this morning. Hopefully, you did an awesome job packaging your poo poo and sourcing a swarm of robot bees to workaround the no live bees clause! Beesides, the reason for the season is to give away rad loot. If you forgot to wrap wheat-paste-wrap your sub-containers in pages from GMILFS GONE WILD, that's ok! You've made room for someone else to win because this is totally a zero-sum game.

Money. Where did the money for this is coming from?
Don't worry, its blood money. I've been selling black market B-Type FIV- fresh squeezed kitten blood on The Silk Road to fund this.

Depackaging and Presentation. What does that even mean?
Fun and creative ways of presenting, and unpacking your rad-rear end loot. Your Santa put the effort into getting your poo poo in the box, put some effort into getting it out.

Can I win Multiple Categories?
Unfortunately, No. I can only squeeze so many kittens of blood at any given time without harming my supply.

When will we find out who won?
Well the bottles are on back order and I can only engrave on weekends so probably sometime the first week of January. That'll give everyone time to settle with their loot and their lots in life.

wheres my beer fucked around with this message at 09:53 on Dec 22, 2019

wheres my beer
Apr 29, 2004


Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty


Fun Shoe

TFR Secret Santa 2019 In Thread Ads

Click 'em for big


Ralphies Showing Off Their Loot

Easily the Most Useless Tableau Dashboard I have Ever Made Updated 12/18/19


12/23/2019 Update


12/27/2019 Update

wheres my beer fucked around with this message at 19:02 on Dec 27, 2019

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




I won't be participating this year, because I already have a few goons I'll be sending Christmas goodies.

But I wanted to say - This thread, year after year, is one of the coolest showings of TFR as a community. I always enjoy seeing the aftermath of people going through their goodies. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I also like knowing some people are going to have to explain to their spouses why they got a box with dickbutt on it filled with beef jerky and MLOK gear.

SpartanIvy
May 18, 2007


Hair Elf

My life has been pretty hectic these last many months so I'm glad Miso is taking it over! I'm giving him all my trade secrets to a fair sorting process, and as long as no one has an issue with it I'd also like to participate this year since I haven't in the last 3 years that I've run it.

shalafi4
Feb 20, 2011

another medical bills avatar

I'm in!

With all of the other random poo poo I deal with on a daily basis. It's always amazing to me that all of us schmucks come together for Christmas each year.


WHAT ARE YOU INTO THESE DAYS [INSERT USER NAME HERE]???
The past year has been nuts and haven't gotten to spend much time going gun hobby stuff. But! Have a new job and my house it about to sell so I'll have both time and some money to get back to it. Still really into reloading and plan on making a point of going through as much of my pile of components later this winter. Finances dependent really want to get a couple rifles built as well.


WHAT DO I WANT
Reloading stuff
  • 7.62x25 Brass (should be good on bullets for now)
  • 10mm brass or bullets (the heavier 200+gr preferably)
  • Weird or oddball components. Randomly found a box of tracer points or brass for unobtanium caliber XYXX I'm interested
  • Weird or uncommon reloading dies. I've got a bunch of common ones. But if you come across a set for 458 ergsplittenloundenboomer or something else obscure go for it.
  • If someone wants to go stupidly all out, some Grendel Basic brass from Starline

Pew Pew stuff
  • Targets... always can use more targets.
  • Steel target possibly? working on getting a permanant range setup at a buddy's and plink plates are more than welcome.
  • Beretta 81 magazine(s). I don't have one yet... give me more of an excuse to buy one. (it's the 32 acp version)

Nerf stuff
Random things
  • Any old machinists tools. I still do a fair bit of machining both as a hobby and at work. Always can use some more. (if you come across something that looks machinist like and have absolutely no clue what it is those are the best)


  • WHAT DO I NOT WANT[list]
  • Magazines for any of my other guns. I'm swimming in them for now.
  • NSFW stuff on the outside of the box. Inside? It's all fair game
  • Knife stuff. I have pretty much everything I *need* knife wise right now.

shalafi4 fucked around with this message at 14:22 on Nov 22, 2019

mischief
Jun 3, 2003


I've been wandering around SA for a few years now but never participated. Allow me to traumatize someone with stuff.

Edit:

Lately I've been collecting Colt AR stuff and Mossberg 22s pretty hard.
I've got a Poly 80 that is waiting for ideas.
Apple of my eye would get me a Turner Saddlery 1907 sling.
I spend a lot of my spare time in estate auctions so I'm a pretty dedicated fan of the loving weird. Also a big fan of old horror movies and film in general.
We're also a committed home brew and distill end of the States. I'll always welcome local tipple.

Long story short, if I'm your Ralphie... Find something weird. Barring that throw me $50 of AR mag parts.


mischief fucked around with this message at 03:09 on Nov 19, 2019

infrared35
Jan 12, 2005

border patrol qt


Plaster Town Cop

In. So hard.

General wants, in no particular order. Used items are fine as long as they're serviceable:

- FN303 stuff. Mags, projectiles, cleaning kit, armorer's kit, whatever.
- Reloading components, particularly bullets, for .40/10mm (cast lead is okay). .300 Blackout brass would be cool.
- Ameriglo CAP sights for Glock 17/19/20, and/or SIG P226/P229/P239/P320.
- Short Reset Trigger kit for P226/P228
- .25 pellets for my new airgun
- 10-, 17-, or 21-round mags for SIG P320 9mm
- 9- or 10-round mags for P320 .45
- P320 .45 "carry" grip frame module, any color, preferably "small" size
- Factory or Mec-Gar 10-round mags for SIG P226 9mm or .40 (need ten-rounders for when I shoot in Canada).
- Dillon RL550B aftermarket upgrades; I already have the one upgrade kit with bigger adjustment knobs, a tool head light, and the primer track roller bearing.
- Merchandise or artwork relating to the character RO635 from the game Girls Frontline.
- Apex Tactical +4 mag extension for P226 .40
- A USB film scanner, preferably OSX compatible (currently running 10.14 but I have a couple older machines), preferably that will do 35mm slides as well as negatives, and it'd be awesome if it'd do some sort of batch function that will scan a strip of negatives without having to do settings and previews and such for each individual frame. It would be cool if it will also do medium format, and the ability to do 4x5s would be a nifty bonus. I don't even know if such a thing exists, but I know older USB 35mm film scanners are pretty cheap. It doesn't have to do APS film, but it would be cool if it could.
- Glock 9mm/.40 magazine extensions in the +5 range. I have an Arredondo that I really like and I could use more or maybe some others like Taran Tactical or KE Arms?
- I like all different kinds of coffee and chocolate, though Jelly Babies are my favorite candy. I like flashlights. And Lego bricks. I usually take a size L or XL shirt, depending on how the sizing runs (generally an L if it's a t-shirt or polo and an XL if it's a sweatshirt or jacket), and I wear a size 7-5/8 hat. I could use 35mm and 120 or 220 film, even if it's expired (as long as it was kept in a temperature-stable environment). I'm a fan of bourbon, whiskey, and sweet meads if you're in a position to ship such things legally.

As far as what I DON'T want - nothing really stands out, but I don't need eyepro or earpro, or brass for 9mm, .40, or .223. And obviously nothing illegal.



Here's a dump of my various wish lists, in case you're looking for other ideas. Price listed is last known price from that vendor.


Dillon Precision

- AR extractor upgrade - 13
- Toolhead stand - 20 (could use two or three)
- AR-15 emergency repair kit - 20
- RL550 toolhead - 22
- CavArms personal trauma kit - 30
- .44 Mag caliber conversion kit for 550 - 44
- SOS-DL light/mag pouch combo Glock 17/22 or Beretta - 55
- Wilderness Safepacker, Commander size - 70


1sks.com (goon-run; ask for a goon discount. goon!)

- SpecOps brand tactical checkbook cover - 23
- Pocket survival pack - 27
- BDU pocket organizers - 30 (could use two)


Top Gun Supply

- BladeTech training barrel for SIG P226 or P228 - 12
- P226/P228 SRT kit - 50
- Grayguns P226 adjustable trigger - 63
- Used mags for P226 .40/.357 - ???




List subject to change.

infrared35 fucked around with this message at 00:26 on Nov 23, 2019

Doctor Grape Ape
Aug 26, 2005

Dammit Doc, I just bought this for you 3 months ago. Try and keep it around for a bit longer this time.


SpartanIvy posted:

My life has been pretty hectic these last many months so I'm glad Miso is taking it over! I'm giving him all my trade secrets to a fair sorting process, and as long as no one has an issue with it I'd also like to participate this year since I haven't in the last 3 years that I've run it.

I bet you rigged the RNG before sending it to Miso so you get the best Santa

I don't participate but I always like to see what you guys get each other, also I like suggesting random gag gifts, like penis cozies.

Tyro
Nov 10, 2009


Doctor Grape Ape posted:

I don't participate but I always like to see what you guys get each other, also I like suggesting random gag gifts, like penis cozies.

Same.

I might be tempted to participate this year but the shipping issues would be onerous going both ways.

edit:
gently caress it, I'm in. Sorry in advance to my Santa for the lame shipping restrictions. They are detailed on the google form. Santa, if you're unclear on the shipping restrictions or have a question please ask Miso to reach out to me for clarification.

WHAT ARE YOU INTO THESE DAYS TYRO???
I’m working at a US Embassy overseas. Right now my gun hobby is pretty much on hold, as is my motorcycle riding, because the traffic here would kill me. Down time is pretty much family time, cooking/going out to eat, trying to get back in shape, and working through my Steam backlog. Back in the states, I mostly shot pistols and pistol caliber carbines, due to living in the city and rarely shooting past 50 yards. Almost all of my rifles are either rimfire, PCCs, or SBRs. Really regret not picking up a CZ455FS before leaving and that will probably be my first gun purchase when I get home.

WHAT DO I WANT

Vaguely gun related stuff!
  • A pressure switch for a Surefire scout light
  • A nice sling for a Marlin 1894c would be cool, though it would just sit in my closet for a few years, it'd be something to look forward to installing
  • Vertx Tactigami MPH holster or MAK band
  • A pocket light - Preferably thin/compact enough to carry in a suit pocket. I’ve been happy with Fenix in the past few years. CR123A's are hard to get here, AA/AAA preferred.

Random stuff
WHAT DO I NOT WANT
  • No NSFW stuff, sorry, lame I know, see next bullet for the reason why.
  • More shipping restrictions are in the google form but the basics: Nothing ORMD or ITAR, no liquids, no lithium batteries, no weapons (knives included) or things that look like weapons.
  • Holsters, mag pouches, PPE, or medical gear, I have more than I know what to do with.
  • Don’t need T shirts.

Tyro fucked around with this message at 18:35 on Nov 23, 2019

wheres my beer
Apr 29, 2004


Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty


Fun Shoe

Doctor Grape Ape posted:

I bet you rigged the RNG before sending it to Miso so you get the best Santa

I don't participate but I always like to see what you guys get each other, also I like suggesting random gag gifts, like penis cozies.

Pft like i wouldnt know how to debug the RNG to make sure I get all of the cool swag penis cozies. also, you should totes participate. I bet you could get a pretty cheap mail box from the UPS store for a month.

Tyro posted:

Same.

I might be tempted to participate this year but the shipping issues would be onerous going both ways.


where do you live?

Tyro
Nov 10, 2009


Miso Beno posted:

where do you live?

DPO address. South America

wheres my beer
Apr 29, 2004


Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty


Fun Shoe


Is shipping to a DPO different than shipping to an APO/FPO? I don't remember shipping poo poo to GI Buddies via the USPS being particularly expensive, it just restrictive in what I could get to 'em. Getting things out of your Dong Patrol Office is probably a bit more complex.

Tyro
Nov 10, 2009


Miso Beno posted:

Is shipping to a DPO different than shipping to an APO/FPO? I don't remember shipping poo poo to GI Buddies via the USPS being particularly expensive, it just restrictive in what I could get to 'em. Getting things out of your Dong Patrol Office is probably a bit more complex.

Nah not pricy. Basically same as APO. Issues are more the restrictions and the possibility of a delay (they wanted us to mail outbound Xmas stuff like a week ago to ensure it got out in time. Our stuff has last priority on the planes after pax and luggage)

SpartanIvy
May 18, 2007


Hair Elf

Tyro posted:

DPO address. South America

We can just send your gift to the ATF and I'm sure it'll show up in South America in no time!

Tyro
Nov 10, 2009


SpartanIvy posted:

We can just send your gift to the ATF and I'm sure it'll show up in South America in no time!

Yeah that's part of the problem, I don't want to be a PITA Ralphie. No knives, no liquids, probably no/very restricted actual gun accessories, for example.

wheres my beer
Apr 29, 2004


Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty


Fun Shoe

Tyro posted:

Yeah that's part of the problem, I don't want to be a PITA Ralphie. No knives, no liquids, probably no/very restricted actual gun accessories, for example.

Ah, yeah your santa would have to get a free pass on the gun related stuff. You'd also be a good candidate for drop shipping from your suppliers straight to your ralphie.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

it time, boiz








e:

You know what I like. AR parts especially dumb bullshit brakes, the dumber and louder the better. I don't have many compensators so I'm always down for that too. Magz of course. I'm down for stupid bullshit like a piece of crap old C&R gun as I am a C&R or whatever. My big no is clothes because I'm good there, unless it's like a hat or something, though I will accept clothing accessories like patches etc, non-velcro. Commie poo poo. Books. Movies. I might expand this later I'm just typing right before leaving for work.

Gunlist:
ARs (2 but I do not mod the bee gun that remains pure forever)
Mossberg 500
Makarov
P-64
Tokarev but from Yugoslavia (here's a fun thing I don't have - a Tokarev compensator bushing)
Armscor 200 revolver
A bunch of old poo poo that I can't remember all of it?

I'm good with NWS poo poo, anime me up. Whoever I get better be good with NWS too.

Shima Honnou fucked around with this message at 17:32 on Nov 17, 2019

infrared35
Jan 12, 2005

border patrol qt


Plaster Town Cop


The galaxy brain option is available at papedu dot ch.

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006



Captain Log posted:

I won't be participating this year, because I already have a few goons I'll be sending Christmas goodies.

But I wanted to say - This thread, year after year, is one of the coolest showings of TFR as a community. I always enjoy seeing the aftermath of people going through their goodies. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I also like knowing some people are going to have to explain to their spouses why they got a box with dickbutt on it filled with beef jerky and MLOK gear.

It really is one of the best things about this place.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

Explain this to your family.

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006



My wife has long, long ago accepted ďitís those gun weirdos on the InternetĒ as an explanation for pretty much anything.

gently caress at this point I could probably order some hosed up kinky poo poo for myself and use you guys as plausible cover.

Fearless
Sep 3, 2003

DRINK MORE MOXIE




Posting from a tablet, in bed. My wife was reading over my shoulder and asked what kind of a monster sends jars of cum to a stranger for Christmas.

I'll participate if we get more than two Canuck participants.

(I'm Canadian)

Wish list

Gun related
-Currently restoring a 1916 RSAF Enfield No. 1 Mk III*. A period correct sling or bayonet would be a real joy.
-SMLE compatible stripper clips
-.303 British reloading dies
-SAIS #1, dealing with the SMLE (by Ian Skennerton)

Not gun related
-I build models for fun (and have done so professionally). Sanding sticks, hobby knife blades, super glue and flush cutters are always welcome and will find loads of heavy use. Same with paint brushes, size 00-3.
-On the recommendation of some bright spark in TFR, I'm reading and enjoying 1491 by Charles C. Mann. I would like to also read 1493, the follow on volume.

E: DO NOT WANT
-Please, for the love of god, no NWS stuff. I don't want to open a box from the internet and have to explain something heinous to my wife.
-I quit smoking five years ago and haven't been able to look a beer in the eye since I worked in addictions treatment.

Fearless fucked around with this message at 19:36 on Nov 21, 2019

wheres my beer
Apr 29, 2004


Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty


Fun Shoe

Whoa, someone read the rules.

ZebraBlade
Mar 26, 2010

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark

In like always. I'll get a list-o-poo poo put here later today because apparently I actually have work to do at work for once

Ok here is a work in progress list. Will be updated as I remember stuff.

Most things are at or close to the $50 mark so don't feel the need to get multiple things, I would be totally happy with any single thing on the list

Reloading Stuffs:
- 458 Socom Brass
- 458 Socom case trays
- 45acp case trays
- 500s&w Brass

PCC/Pistol Stuff
- HSGI Extended Pistol Taco Ė MOLLE Ė Multicam or Coyote
- CZ-Evo factory mags
- PSA AK-V / CZ-EVO mags, clear or black use privacy.com when shopping at palmetto
- A good pistol cleaning rod (7"-9" range)

AR Stuff:
- AR Brass Catcher
- B5 Spomod Bravo Ė Black
- Magpul MBUS front sight Ė black Ė used is ok if you have one kicking around the spare parts bin

Scattergat Stuff
- Proshot or similar thiccc chamber brush Ė 12ga
- Extended IMOD choke tube Ė Beretta/Benelli Mobilchoke (wow its even on sale https://www.midwayusa.com/product/1021330798 only 1 in stock )

Misc/fun Stuff and non-gun interests
- Gun related stickers
- Hockey related stuff
- Coffee and coffee related stuff
- Noctua chromax NF-F12 computer case fan(s)?
- Dumb/funny poo poo for my desk at work

Donít need and no-no stuff
- Shirts
- AR Mags
- Alcohol/Tobacco
- Lewd stuff on exterior of package (the nastiest most depraved smut out there is completely ok inside the package and honestly, encouraged)

Late addition: Just bought a WASR-10 so AK mags and AK stuff I guess?

ZebraBlade fucked around with this message at 15:55 on Nov 27, 2019

infrared35
Jan 12, 2005

border patrol qt


Plaster Town Cop


I think my wife has been expecting something like this to show up for years.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

infrared35 posted:

I think my wife has been expecting something like this to show up for years.

Well of course, it's cold and you have no internet access so a wall of ice-themed titty is perfect.

infrared35
Jan 12, 2005

border patrol qt


Plaster Town Cop

Shima Honnou posted:

Well of course, it's cold and you have no internet access so a wall of ice-themed titty is perfect.

I'll be in my bunk.

wheres my beer
Apr 29, 2004


Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty


Fun Shoe

First round of forms went out the people who actually emailed me. Also, it would make my life easier if you signed up sooner rather than later, folks.

Since scrolling up is hard, here are the registration instructions again:

How To Register
Step 1: Post in this thread, about how god damned excited you are to be doing this poo poo. Also, use and edit this post to cover all of your wants and desires. I will be linking to this post to point your Ralphie towards your wants and desires.
Step 1a: REGISTRATION CLOSES 11/22 AND RALPHIES WILL BE DISTRIBUTED 11/24. YOU FUCKS BETTER MOVE FAST
Step 2: Draft an email to tfrsecretsanta2019@gmail.com with Christmas Tentacles and your forums name in the subject line
Step 2a: In the body include your forums name, real name, and a link to your post in this thread because im loving lazy
Step 3: Fill out the sexy Google Form I send you
Step 4: Acquire a minimum of $50 in baller swag for your Ralphie
Step 5: Ship baller swag to your Ralphie and provide your tracking information to me so I can relay it to them
Step 6: Receive bacon swag from your Santa and make a loving amazing post thanking them
Step 7: Santas may reveal themselves at this time if they are so inclined. Or keep it a mystery if you're into that ghost poo poo.


just in case u missed it

quote:

Step 1: Post in this thread, about how god damned excited you are to be doing this poo poo. Also, use and edit this post to cover all of your wants and desires. I will be linking to this post to point your Ralphie towards your wants and desires.
Step 1a: REGISTRATION CLOSES 11/22 AND RALPHIES WILL BE DISTRIBUTED 11/24. YOU FUCKS BETTER MOVE FAST
Step 2: Draft an email to tfrsecretsanta2019@gmail.com with Christmas Tentacles and your forums name in the subject line
Step 2a: In the body include your forums name, real name, and a link to your post in this thread because im loving lazy



wheres my beer fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Nov 14, 2019

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

i emailed you and didn't get a form fucker

wheres my beer
Apr 29, 2004


Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty


Fun Shoe

Shima Honnou posted:

i emailed you and didn't get a form fucker

It's almost as if I haven't automated form sending so I can keep GBS the riff raff out.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




You know what?

I'm in.

Somebody better prepare for a box of stupid from a weird, weird man with birds.

(I'll get started on the checklist of poo poo to do tomorrow. I'm a little busy tonight.)

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

Captain Log posted:

You know what?

I'm in.

Somebody better prepare for a box of stupid from a weird, weird man with birds.

(I'll get started on the checklist of poo poo to do tomorrow. I'm a little busy tonight.)

I better get you, because I've already ordered my shitpost giftposts and they're gonna be great.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




Shima Honnou posted:

I better get you, because I've already ordered my shitpost giftposts and they're gonna be great.



I may not be able to give the most illustrious basket, but boy oh boy will it have some stuff in it.

Comfy sponk
Mar 30, 2007



I'm in. List to follow. I've gotten some really cool stuff in the past and look forward to getting more weird poo poo from the internet.

One of the best was the TFR back up buddy.


WHAT ARE YOU INTO THESE DAYS Comfy Sponk???
I do a little competitive shooting and reloading. Like to dink around with arduinos to make LEDs go blinky. Recently I've been gathering the parts to build another ar upper and have the barrel and the gas tube/block but not much else.

WHAT DO I WANT
Gunstuff
  • Sights/awib holster for Glock 43
  • Extended base pads/mags for CZ75 9mm or .40
  • Glock 9mm mags for the Ruger PCC


AR 15 parts that I actually want
  • Funny dust cover
  • Ratcheting castle nut
  • your favorite selector switch or some other geegaw for ar's
  • muzzle device/brake

Guns I have that might give you ideas
  • Ruger sp101
  • Ruger gunsite
  • Ruger PCC
  • M1 carbine

WHAT DO I NOT WANT
  • yet more brass.
  • ar mags

List the listing!

Gun stuff
Sights/awib holster for Glock 43
Extended base pads/mags for CZ75 9mm or .40
Glock 9mm mags for the Ruger PCC
AR 15 parts:
Fancy castle nut/endplate
Fun ejection port cover

Comfy sponk fucked around with this message at 07:50 on Nov 22, 2019

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006



Comfy sponk posted:

I'm in. List to follow. I've gotten some really cool stuff in the past and look forward to getting more weird poo poo from the internet.

One of the best was the TFR back up buddy.


Years ago (like. . . 2007? 8?) I put down as a joke that I wanted the Shroud of Turin.

I was utterly loving flabbergasted when this showed up in my box:


I still have it in my gun room in a place of honor.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

Honored be thy name, Ian's dirty sheets.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




Here we go. I'm just honored to be doing this - I'm happy with anything, how little or inexpensive it may be. Don't put yourself out on my account, I'm just an internet stranger who is happy to have anything.

WHAT ARE YOU INTO THESE DAYS Captain Log????
I have three MLOK ARs, but two of them do not have slings. None of them have bipods. My ARs are safe queens and rarely get fired. But Iíd be thrilled to add slings to the remaining two. One of them is brown/sand furniture and the other is black. I reiterate, these rifles are never going to be used hard, so they do not need top of the line equipment. I do CCW every day with the following guns.I have plenty of OWB, IWB, and pocket holsters for them. -

My Carry Guns -
Glock 19 with Night Sights, Hogue Grip, TLR6
Glock 43 with Night Sights, Hogue Grip, TLR6
Ruger LCP with Hogue Overgrip/Kel Tec P3AT - I have a million holsters for them but could use spare mags for the LCP. It is the original LCP 1.
S&W 640 - I have speed strips, but no speed loaders

Non Carry Guns -
Ruger Wrangler - Would love grips that complement the Gold framed Wrangler I got.
Chiappa Badger - I've got a Holosun on it.
Ruger 5.56 AR - I've got a ton of weird and wild mags for this one. I've got this gun basically finished.
Stoner/Aero 7.62 AR - Got an optic, that's it. Need a sand/brown sling and welcome to a cheap airlift bipod.
Grendel 6.5 AR - Got an optic, but same as the above. Black furniture and needs a sling/cheap bipod.

Non-Gun Stuff is all listed below -


WHAT DO I WANT
Knife Stuff
I love knives. Iím open to Japanese cooking knives. Cheap knives are OK as well. I do not judge. Sharpening stones are always great, I just use a single stone and a single ceramic rod. Any sort of knife lube and cleaning accessories are welcome. I cook a lot, so if you have a weird local spice, I'm down.

GUN STUFF
LCP 1 Mags
640 Speed Loader
G43 Mags and Mag Extensions Welcome (No Strike Industries, please)
G19 extended mags
Carry Belts - Anything that looks sharp and professional. I donít want to look like an Operator or an old man. Colors in order of preference - Light Brown, Dark Brown, Black, Green. Size - Letís sayÖ36? Yeah, that works. Iíd rather be a little larger than smaller in the belt department.

Fountain Pens
I love fountain pens. If it is a Lamy Safari, I probably have it unless itís a rare color. Is it a fountain pen? Is it fountain pen ink? Iím loving down

Coins and Silver
We all know I love weird coins, collectable coins, silver, any of that stuff. I have completed my collection of Moroccan Francs, just FYI.

Parrot Stuff
Treats and perches very welcome! I have Serra the Cockatiel, Yellow and Blue the parakeets, and they love tearing things apart. No Happy Huts, please. Those encourage breeding and I donít need that.

OTHER NOT GUN STUFF IM INTO
DOMOS! PARROTS! WEIRD STUFF!

WHAT DO I NOT WANT
No weird sex stuff. Iíd have to explain that to my father. Weird is OK, but I donít feel like explaining dildos to my father. Nothing blatantly NWS on the outside, please. I have neighbors that already think Iím weird. I have a lot of holsters for my carry pieces and a ton of stock G19 mags. If itís a cool pocket holster (Not a DeSantis, thatís my brand) Iím down, but outside of that Iím set for holsters.

I may edit this when I inevitably think of things I forgot, but that should be the gist of it.



Edit : Just a heads up, I do not drink the booze.

Captain Log fucked around with this message at 19:39 on Nov 18, 2019

wheres my beer
Apr 29, 2004


Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty


Fun Shoe

there's less than one week left to register for the TFR GLOCKTAPUS SECRET SANTA 2019 EXTRAVAGANZA . Only you can help your fellow TFR fruitcake have an enjoyable baby Jesus day.

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Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"




Looking through the old threads, I should probably add to my Santa List that I do not drink. Edited.

Looking forward to all this hoo hah!

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